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Re: [jacques] training for ten second of your life :
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sungam
Jun 2, 2015, 4:45 PM
Views: 16525
Registered: Jun 24, 2004
Posts: 26804
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Sidenote: Jaques - you are un-ironically the poster that I wish I could be.
I tend to avoid getting into situations where I would die if I fell unless the climbing is really easy and the rock is solid. I've never been in a really shit situation.
I have, however done some preperation for such an occasion.
Most of it is in the shower, but sometimes it is while I am, ahem, sitting around for a while the day after my infamous "chilli cheese wedges" (all homade, of course, except for the cheese cuz that shit is pretty complicated and I don't have a cow).
Generally it is purely mental simulation, going through the motions of what would happen if there was, for example. an eruption of Mount Ben Nevis while I was nailing the sick crux on the 6th (pronounced "Sick-th") pitch of a new project that I was onsighting the FA of -but sometimes I flex my muscles in time with the moves.
I guess there isn't really a grade in my dream (kinda like Sharma not grading the mandala) but obviously it is sick hard because I'm finding it pretty hard and just looked down at my last piece of pro, which is obviously pretty fucking far below me because I am balls out gnarly in my daydreams.
Anyways, the Mount Ben Nevis is pretty much doing it's best Vesuvius impression and loosens up the rock I'm on and shakes out my links cams making me really run out, and if that wasn't bad enough the magmqa is, like, cooking my belayer who is telling me I need to send right goddamn now so he can second the pitch and escape the heat before it melts our ropes.
I realize that if I don't do anything I'm going to pump out and whip onto non-existant gear and factor-2 a belay that has been dangerously compromised by molten lava.
Shit. Time to get serious.
I use my extensive kung-fu meditation experience, gained from not only watching crouching tiger hidden dragon a whopping 16 times but also from watching several kung fu videos on youtube. I keep talking about starting to do yoga and sometimes I do cat-camel bends to improve my thoracic spine flexibility so that can only help my mental resilience.
With my mind at one with my body I do the moves. They're hard but I breathe deeply and focus on my balance being just right, I grab the handholds and put my feet on the footholds and mvoe upwards. The moves are all that matter, but sometimes it is hard to focus since the heady fumes from the valcano are making me kinda high. I finsih the pitch but my partner has succumb to the fumes and is completely KO'ed, so I hand-over-hand haul him up. Since there was no pro left in the whole pitch I bring him right to the top. We are on Castle ridge so I sling him over my shoulders 'nam style and sprint along the top of the ridge and to the summit.
Realizing that the lava flow is headed right for Fort William I realize something has to be done so I run to the lava and light my PAS on fire, quickly running back up the the summit plateau and using the smoldering nylon to light the small pile of dayssacks and goretex we've made on the rocks. I try to smoke signal the fire department to let them know there is a volcano, but the fire isn't big enough.
I end up having to add my clothes to the pile, which does the trick. I hike back down to the town in just my Rab merino wool boxers (which make me look pretty hung for once), which was saved by the firefighters, and am welcomed by a grateful crowd, who tell me that I am the real hero for saving the town and also that my abs are p. good and my package looks legit.
I'm not sure how exactly this lines up with RL but I hope that the spirit forged in expensive electricity bills will see me true if I ever fuck up and find myself facing a really serious fall on tough ground.
(This post was edited by sungam on Jun 2, 2015, 5:14 PM)
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Post edited by sungam
() on Jun 2, 2015, 5:14 PM
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