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winter
Dec 5, 2005, 9:24 PM
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So, when you first meet someone and consider dating them what are your deal breakers? Things that if they have them you absolutely won't date them...or if you find this out about them after limited dating you will break it off.
Mine are:
Car. Gotta have one. I am not a chaffeur.
Job or independantly wealthy. I am not a sugar moma.
Multiple room-mates. Yuck, can we say frat house?
Sport/Hobby. Have to have an interest other than watching TV and working.
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mother_sheep
Dec 5, 2005, 10:26 PM
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Sense of humor. If he lacks one, I won't date him.
Must be active. I have nothing in common with a couch potato
Good looks. Yeah, I'm shallow. Physical attraction is important.
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kubi
Dec 5, 2005, 10:31 PM
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a penis......welp, that's pretty much it. If they've got a schlong I'm gettin' the fuck out.
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kubi
Dec 5, 2005, 10:35 PM
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what's the cup-size on that toe? I'm a reasonable man.
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snoangel
Dec 5, 2005, 10:58 PM
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In reply to: Sense of humor. If he lacks one, I won't date him. Must be active. I have nothing in common with a couch potato Good looks. Yeah, I'm shallow. Physical attraction is important.
I think you hit the nail on the head, ma sheep. I only have to add intelligence. I have a hard time dating the dumb jock type.
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deserteaglle
Dec 5, 2005, 11:17 PM
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I think something that I definitely think about is the way they dress, and their body shape. I don't mean exactly what style they dress in, but are they completely done up all the time and perfect, or do they seem to dress laid back, without being seen only in sweat pants.
I have noticed alot of sweat pants lately, and I think there should be rules about them. For example my aunt who came to work today in red ones...yeah, I wish I could have fired her. That was just wrong.
It all has to do with telling things about their personalities from their looks. A girl who dresses flawlessly is most likely going to expect perfection from me, which she definitely will not get, so that is a no go. And if they wear baggy clothes ALL rthe time, then they prolly don't think they are very sexy, and that is not sexy. Basically I don't think a girl should try to be any one thing all the time. Can't always be sexy, and you can't always be a slob. Moderation is the key.
It goes the same for their body type. I look at myself and go, "Well, you're kinda like a mule. You can get all the jobs done that a thoroughbred could, you just don't look as good doing it." I am definitely not in great shape, but I can handle strenuous physical activity, and that is important considering my hobbies. So a girl would definitely need to share at least some of those hobbies, and be in good shape. I'm not saying she needs to be able to run a triathalon and win, but at least be able to run a couple of miles without passing out. Someone who takes care of themselves is definitely important.
Oh yeah, and smoking. I quit smoking in the past several months and still feel the urge when I'm around it. I couldn't be with a smoker now. Unfortunately I'm still kind of in love withone...she is a bad influence. I really need to stay away from her.
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dirtineye
Dec 5, 2005, 11:39 PM
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Haha, I could not pass this one up!
1. Anorexic alternating with bulemic, kleptomaniac, liar, nyphomaniac and irisistably beautiful (to EVERYONE, male nad female), with confinable-for-their-own-good insanity running in the family.
2. Practicing alcoholic with nothing nice to say to or about anyone they are supposed to love, including spouse and parents. Wonderful to the rest of the world however.
3. Smoker.
4. Republican.
The first two are from experience, the next two are theoretical.
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kimmyt
Dec 6, 2005, 12:54 AM
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Well here is a something I once told my friend when she asked why I broke up with a good-looking guy I had been dating in college:
"Mandy, I can date a guy that is ugly, as long as he is an interesting person and is good in bed. I can even date a guy that is good-looking but duller than a box of crayons if the sex is good. But I absolutely cannot date a guy who has the personality of a piece of plywood, a dick the size of my pinky and man-boobs, no matter how pretty his face is."
Oh, other dealbreakers...not from experience, but still.
Abusive, physical, emotional, or verbal.
Does not respect me.
Snowboarder.
Hehe. Okay I lied about that last one. I'm dating one now. A snowboarder. Maybe I should replace that one with 'sport climber'...oh wait....maybe gym climber? Damn.
I think my dealbreaker is broken. :lol:
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tattooed_climber
Dec 6, 2005, 1:06 AM
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bad music (country, rap, techno = me gone!)
doesn't read often (as in terms of novels and such)
cant think further than 2 days
non-outdoorsie
too serious
not worth her word
any flip flop or double standards
the whole "tease" thing
the eyes and the smilie is a big thing....if i don't like em, im gone...(i find these can help on reflecting soo much)
then again i'm not really dating....i'm kinda sort of is a REALLY fucked up sorta long distances maybe kind of thing....other than that, i honestly don't have the time....
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crimpergirl
Dec 6, 2005, 1:25 AM
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Intolerance.
I detest intolerant people.
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maculated
Dec 6, 2005, 1:30 AM
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In reply to: Intolerance. I detest intolerant people.
I hate people like that.
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t-dog
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Dec 6, 2005, 1:30 AM
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In reply to: Intolerance. I detest intolerant people.
So are you saying you can't tolerate intolerant people?
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crimpergirl
Dec 6, 2005, 1:32 AM
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I'm sorry Mac. Please be my friend. :cry:
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davidji
Dec 6, 2005, 1:35 AM
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Score! 'bout time one of the women disqualified me. 'course you might have done that with a few of your other items too...
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timstich
Dec 6, 2005, 2:41 AM
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In reply to: Intolerance. I detest intolerant people.
Chronic smartasses.
:lol:
"You know Johnny Ringo kind of reminds me of...me. Now I really hate him."
-Doc Holiday
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htotsu
Dec 6, 2005, 3:22 AM
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Off the top of my head...
Mean. Guys who think I'll be impressed when they're mean to other people are sooo third grade. I'd like a guy with enough humility to at least try to follow that old golden rule.
Smoker. Can't stand the smell. I couldn't dream of kissing someone who smelled like that. I like kissing too much to waste it on someone whose kisses I can't totally lose myself in and enjoy.
Couch potato. Could not deal with a guy who is totally out of shape and inactive. He doesn't have to be an Olympic decathlete or anything, but I don't want someone who only wants to do stuff like go out to dinner or watch movies.
Bodybuilder. God bless 'em, but it's a bit too much for me. I prefer a more natural build, the kind obtained by athletic-type activities versus just lifting weights. Using weights and the like as a supplement can be quite nice (indeed...). But a guy who never sees the light of day because he's in the mirror lifting weights 24/7 just isn't for me.
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nurocks
Dec 6, 2005, 3:44 AM
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hmmm....
Well...hyperreligiousity...scientific ignorance
(I've dated several artists and we definitely don't share the same passions. Museums bore me and impressionism didn't make much of an impression but the physical world amazes me. Not saying I'll only date people with a B.S. in a physical science, but they should at least be cognicient of cause effect tangibles, reality, logic, etc....btw...I know several "artists" who meet these requirements...but many who don't)
...Smoking...being prudish (does not equal I want a slut, but someone who likes sex as much as I do.)...really poor personal hygene...cheating...lying...incompatibility with my friends...not knowing how to cook (if I can do it, why can't you?)...being excessively bookish...fear of getting dirty...not tolerating my liking beer...or my lack of organized religion...
I could go on...but the list is becoming more of what I "want" not what I can't tolerate. I've been single for 3 months now. If I keep thinking about this list. I feel I'd find myself single for a long while.
I've been in my office for 14 hours. I think grad school is killing me. Time to go home see if I can't have a few beers before Monday Night Football is over.
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climbs4fun
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Dec 6, 2005, 4:06 AM
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Smokers
self-centered
couch-potatos
abusive (mental or physical)
JEALOUS!!!
fat (can't help it I'm shallow)
must have intelligence. Dated total eye candy once. Rocked in bed. Dumb as a box of rocks. Dumped him. If only he could have just existed without speaking. *sigh*
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crimpergirl
Dec 6, 2005, 4:10 AM
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I LOVE chronic smartasses!! :lol: :lol:
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maculated
Dec 6, 2005, 4:12 AM
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Drives a rice rocket or a car worth more than $50k
Was in the military
Wears a cross
Owns a beret
That's it. Those are the deal breakers. I could give you the resaons, but that's not as mysterious. :)
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dr_feelgood
Dec 6, 2005, 4:17 AM
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In reply to: Was in the military Owns a beret That's it. Those are the deal breakers. I could give you the resaons, but that's not as mysterious. :)
Shit... Looks like I'm out.
Stupid Military.
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squierbypetzl
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Dec 6, 2005, 4:19 AM
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Deal breakers (implying there´s a deal to break,ie the girl´s already up to snuff):
Can´t or won´t stand for my climbing (sure, if she´s hot it may take a while, but she´s definitely a goner)
Hates *all* music (seriously, wtf is up with that??)
Too neurotic and/or clinically psychotic
Boring... she has to work pretty hard at this one; if she can´t have fun with me and and any of my friends, there is something wrong with that girl (hypothetical, I´ve cracked every nut so far)
Y cromosomes are as big a dealbreaker as it gets... (again, hypothetical)
REALLY bad inlaws. Usually it doesn´t matter much, but I´ve already been screwed over once by a girls father and damned if it happens again.
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maculated
Dec 6, 2005, 4:22 AM
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In reply to: s---... Looks like I'm out. Stupid Military.
I once tried to break this one because I believe in giving people of otherwise excellent "credentials" a shot, but it bit me in the ass. I thank you for your dedication to serving your country and respect that, but so far I've noticed there's a certain characteristic of such individuals that makes them incompatible with me. It's not beliefs or anything . . . it's weird. It's just a pattern.
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htotsu
Dec 6, 2005, 4:25 AM
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In reply to: Hates *all* music (seriously, wtf is up with that??) |
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squierbypetzl
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Dec 6, 2005, 4:35 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: Hates *all* music (seriously, wtf is up with that??) ??? This is too random to be made up, and yet I find it hard to believe. Are you saying you knew a girl who told you she hated all music? Or just all the music you like?
Sorry, didn´t complete that frase. All music except tecno/electronic.
I like nearly all types of music, we went with friends to jazz clubs, blues clubs, rock concerts, punk concerts, metal fests, latin rock fests... nothing.
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timstich
Dec 6, 2005, 4:48 AM
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In reply to: I LOVE chronic smartasses!! :lol: :lol:
That's why I <3 U.
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clausti
Dec 6, 2005, 4:55 AM
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-commenting that my hands are rougher than theirs. [i can deal with smooth hands on a guy if other credentials are up to snuff but pointing that out breaks me.]
-listening to excessive techno/electronica.
-smokes weed every day. [SOME i can deal with, constant, no.]
-idiocy.
-wont use a condom.
-fat.
-bodybuilder. i'm with whoever said this before... shallow maybe? but the absolute vastness of some guys, even if its muscle... cant deal with it. not your fault, freaks me out.
-wasted more than once a week. no frat boys.
-lying.
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timstich
Dec 6, 2005, 5:00 AM
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In reply to: -listening to excessive techno/electronica.
Note to self: Listen to Chemical Brothers in the car alone.
Duh-oh!
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climbinginchico
Dec 6, 2005, 7:06 AM
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In reply to: Wears a cross That's it. Those are the deal breakers. I could give you the resaons, but that's not as mysterious. :)
Do tattoos count? I can cover it up with a t-shirt. :)
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slavetogravity
Dec 6, 2005, 7:21 AM
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In reply to: --idiocy. -fat. -wasted more than once a week. no frat boys. -lying.
So no fat drunken lying morons for Clausti. Well, a girl's got to have standards.
As for me, I may not know women but I know what I like.
Meet Chrissy. http://www.rockclimbing.com/...p.cgi?Detailed=51268
She's perfect for me.
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t-dog
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Dec 6, 2005, 7:26 AM
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hmmm... let's see....
-cheating
-lying
-afraid to get dirty/has to wear makeup 24/7
-prude (I'm with nurocks on this one)
-substance abuse problem
-doesn't eat meat/drink alcohol
-not physically active
-dumb as a doorknob
-speaks only one language and sees no problem with that
-doesn't like to travel
yeah, I know, I'm picky...
but I think this is a great thread and needs cross-referencing with the singles of RC.com thread!!!
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erisspirit
Dec 6, 2005, 7:32 AM
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hmmm
sooo
- smoking
- cheating
- no desire to be active (couch potato)
- closemindedness (is that even a word?? well it works I guess)
- hardcore vegan (would force me to be one)
- anybody who would want to make me into someone Im not
i dunno just a few off the top of my head..
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maculated
Dec 6, 2005, 7:37 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: Wears a cross That's it. Those are the deal breakers. I could give you the resaons, but that's not as mysterious. :) Do tattoos count? I can cover it up with a t-shirt. :)
Yeah, they definitely do.
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htotsu
Dec 6, 2005, 7:49 AM
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Wow... owns a beret. Not wears, but owns. That's deep.
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maculated
Dec 6, 2005, 7:50 AM
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Hey, at least I don't have a laundry list! I'm open to dudes . . . :) You already caved to the Rice Rocket.
Would you believe I ignored both that AND the military thing for one dude? Never again.
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climbinginchico
Dec 6, 2005, 7:51 AM
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Figured so.
Mine:
Doesn't respect my religion.
Can't put up with my tattoos and/or doesn't want me to get more.
Unattractive. Call me shallow. The physical attraction has to be there.
Not active.
No goals.
Doesn't like me climbing or won't let me take climbing trips.
Doesn't like animals.
Must also have nice eyes and smile.
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htotsu
Dec 6, 2005, 8:06 AM
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In reply to: Hey, at least I don't have a laundry list! I'm open to dudes . . . :)
In reply to: Would you believe I ignored both that AND the military thing for one dude? Never again. |
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overlord
Dec 6, 2005, 8:40 AM
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-cheating
-lying
-not attractive
-couch potato
-smoking
-bad sex
-stupid
-cant go on a hike without a hairdryer
probably some more, those are just off the top of my head.
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daithi
Dec 6, 2005, 10:31 AM
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In reply to: Unattractive. Call me shallow. The physical attraction has to be there.
:D A few people have expressed similar sentiments so far (mostly women I think). Don't worry no one thinks that's shallow. You can't be expected to date a completely physically unattractive person just to prove what a philanthropist you are! It's a normal prerequisite of sexual attraction to someone that you find them physically attractive (at least in some sense).
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timstich
Dec 6, 2005, 1:30 PM
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In reply to: - closemindedness (is that even a word?? well it works I guess)
closed-mindedness
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robbovius
Dec 6, 2005, 1:38 PM
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Anybody under 40. except for a one-nighter.
Anybody dead.
anybody before me who posted to this thread. especially the guys.
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dookie
Dec 6, 2005, 1:55 PM
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In reply to: Anybody under 40.
:lol: :lol: :lol: ;) luv ya Robb!
It's funny to think about this now that I've been in a relationship 4.5+ years .... deal breakers.... hmmmm....
I'll go for the shallow stuff first - physical features;
Long hair. Sorry guys, I can't do it. Mine's short, I like my guys hair shorter.
Hands. If a guys got super long fingernails or prissy girly hands I can't handle it, makes me want to puke.
Eyes, there's got to be something there. Not a certain color, but when the eyes stand out it's just so.... ahhhhhh. ;)
Not overly overweight. I can deal with a little pudge, hell, I've got that! But as a 5 foot 2 athletic girl, can't deal with outright fat and lazy. They've gotta be able to haul shit around (read, me at times) :)
OK, not so shallow:
Must enjoy the outdoors (biking, hiking, fishing, climbing, boating) - don't matter what really, but if you don't like going outside chances are we won't see each other much...
Listens to only rap. Drives me freaking nuts, I wouldn't be able to go on a car ride with him anywhere.
Outgoing and knows how to joke around and have fun. My boy is seemingly quiet and reserved at first, which I like. But underneath that, he's freaking hilarious, loves to joke around, and is generally fun to just be around.
Not necessarily deal breakers, but things I like guys to be able to do:
Fix things up around the house. If the light isn't working, it drives me nuts to have to call an electrician. That's one reason why I live with a carpenter, the most handy man I know, not to mention it turns me on. Call me crazy ;)
Swallow their pride every now and then. There's nothing more annoying that that macho 'I'm always right' kind of attitude. If you're wrong, say it, admit it, and if you were mean about it apologize for it.
I've dated guys who just can't do this, and it is quite possibly the most frustrating thing in the world, and the quickest way to show a woman you could give a crap about her...
That's all I can think of for now :lol:
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thorne
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Dec 6, 2005, 2:00 PM
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Not my wife.
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wideguy
Dec 6, 2005, 2:15 PM
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In reply to: but they should at least be cognicient of cause effect tangibles, reality, logic, etc...
I think we can deduce that spelling is optional? (cognizant, perhaps)
Anyway. Deal breakers are pretty simple. If you're not my wife and the mother of my children I won't even consider dating you. Period.
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rockguide
Dec 6, 2005, 2:29 PM
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Deal breakers?
Inactive. I have tried, but I cannot do it.
Wants to be active, (climb, run, ski, etc) but needs someone to make it happen for her. yeah.
Unfit. She doesn't have to be as toned as the hotties of singles of RC, (whew) but definable waist is key. Shallow, I know.
Smokers. for anything more than a fling.
Treats people with disrespect (if she is mean to service industry people I am so outta there)
Looking for a sugar daddy. Not that I have had to deal with that.
Under 28. We can hang out, but could a relationship work?
Complex. I hate trying to figure out what we are arguing about.
Recent conviction for killing an ex boyfriend.
Brian
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chanf
Dec 6, 2005, 2:33 PM
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tattoos and smoking are the big ones for me.
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robbovius
Dec 6, 2005, 3:06 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: Anybody under 40. well there go my dreams, up in smoke! :lol: :lol: :lol: ;) luv ya Robb!l:
Dooks, you know there's always a special place in my heart for you, sympatico, flatterer. ;-)
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kimmyt
Dec 6, 2005, 3:58 PM
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In reply to: Complex. I hate trying to figure out what we are arguing about.
Hehe. Have fun being single.
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iceisnice
Dec 6, 2005, 4:03 PM
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anyone like me.....i don't wanna date myself.
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tradman
Dec 6, 2005, 4:06 PM
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How about girls who have lengthy shopping lists of features and functions their new boyfriend must have, and top list of deal-breakers?
Love - real love that lasts - isn't about obssessing over the things you like about your partner, it's about not obssessing over the bits you don't like.
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rockguide
Dec 6, 2005, 4:16 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: Complex. I hate trying to figure out what we are arguing about. Hehe. Have fun being single.
Yeah ... sometimes it seems like drama is par for the course. I have met some women who are drama free and do not expect a guy to read minds. They are usually attached to very happy guys.
Then again, I know guys who are complex and drive their girlfriends crazy as well.
:lol:
Brian
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robbovius
Dec 6, 2005, 4:18 PM
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In reply to: How about girls who have lengthy shopping lists of features and functions their new boyfriend must have, and top list of deal-breakers? Love - real love that lasts - isn't about obssessing over the things you like about your partner, it's about not obssessing over the bits you don't like.
SHHHHH!!! dude, your totally giving away the secrets that are only hard-learned by aging and life experience, IF AT ALL. ;-) let these pups thrash around and struggle he way we did, it's all part of growing into one's wisdom, IF IT EVER HAPPENS ;-)
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iltripp
Dec 6, 2005, 4:43 PM
Post #54 of 63
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That's not what you told the one-legged jewish male prostitute in Vegas last month.
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dingus
Dec 6, 2005, 4:53 PM
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In reply to: tattoos and smoking are the big ones for me.
Really? I once had a boss who observed (a woman smoking)
"Just imagine Dingus, if she'll put that in her mouth, she'll put just about anything in there!"
DMT
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dookie
Dec 6, 2005, 6:24 PM
Post #56 of 63
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In reply to: Love - real love that lasts - isn't about obssessing over the things you like about your partner, it's about not obssessing over the bits you don't like.
AMEN to that :) well said! :D
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madriver
Dec 6, 2005, 6:37 PM
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In reply to: it's about not obssessing over the bits you don't like.
...from now on it's bit's that would end it for me. If I see any bit's on my wife....thats it....it's all over....
Love
H. Lechter
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shakylegs
Dec 6, 2005, 6:41 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: it's about not obssessing over the bits you don't like. ...from now on it's bit's that would end it for me. If I see any bit's on my wife....thats it....it's all over.... Love H. Lechter
I think you meant Marv Albert.
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dingus
Dec 6, 2005, 7:20 PM
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Mother sheep, I hope that if in the future I should be so lucky to meet you, you won't be unduly offended if I step slightly into your personal space, just for a quick sniff. I dig those pleasures of yours too.
I promise not to touch or be overly obvious!
DMT
ps. I'm afraid I won't be able to resist the temptation so I'm apologizing now, in anticipation of that lucky day.
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gene723
Dec 7, 2005, 12:55 AM
Post #60 of 63
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In reply to: How about girls who have lengthy shopping lists of features and functions their new boyfriend must have, and top list of deal-breakers? Love - real love that lasts - isn't about obssessing over the things you like about your partner, it's about not obssessing over the bits you don't like.
well said tradman. vey well said. I had the same sentiments but wasn't sharp enough this time about my intuitions to make it conscious to myself.
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reno
Dec 7, 2005, 5:21 AM
Post #61 of 63
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Warts.
And ugly toes. Ever see "Boomerang" with Eddie Murphy?
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nikegirl
Dec 7, 2005, 5:38 AM
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HURL*!!!
~T
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winter
Dec 7, 2005, 4:59 PM
Post #63 of 63
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Registered: Apr 9, 2003
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In reply to: How about girls who have lengthy shopping lists of features and functions their new boyfriend must have, and top list of deal-breakers? Love - real love that lasts - isn't about obssessing over the things you like about your partner, it's about not obssessing over the bits you don't like.
ahhh, See these aren't things about your partner these are things that would exclude someone from becoming your partner.
Ex: you strike up a conversation with someone and these are the things that would automatically disqualify them from ever dating. Or things that you find out on a first date that wouldn't lead to a second.
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