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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 3:40 AM
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I get back to my room tonight, to find a giant leopard print futon occupying a large portion of our very small room. My tv and dvd and the bookshelf it lives on have been torn from their plugs and dragged to the other side of the room.
The futon smells like cigarettes and a hooker's ass after a busy night. My ass maggot roomate shows up. "It was only $50!!!"
1.)Come on, seriously. Seriously. My TV used to be right under the window - nice and safe.
2.)There's my brand new TV at the bottom of her ladder. Tell me she's not going to kick it over crawling out of bed or crawling up into bed (not the never used climbing gear she bought when she decided she was going to be a hardcore climber).
3.)The psycho herself.
P.S. for the new kids http://www.rockclimbing.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1473890;search_string=roommate;#1473890
(This post was edited by carabiner96 on Jan 16, 2007, 3:42 AM)
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tattooed_climber
Jan 16, 2007, 3:47 AM
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gah!!!!!.....put a disclaimer on your roomamtes face next time....jebus, comon! think next time there biner, some kids could have clicked on that link......
serious, i've read all your posts aboot your roommate.....either put your foot down and be a bitch or get over it...
if you don't have a firm stance on your roomates "what mine is yours and yours mine" BS, she'll just walk all over ya......
now so bitch slap her, tell her she's ugly and so is that nose ring, to know her role and shut her mouth
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philbox
Moderator
Jan 16, 2007, 3:51 AM
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Better yet drag her round the room a few times by the nose ring.
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basilisk
Jan 16, 2007, 3:52 AM
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that's the worst looking futon i have ever seen.
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tradrenn
Jan 16, 2007, 3:56 AM
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And that's why I live alone.
Fuck that shit.
Never again.
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dr_feelgood
Jan 16, 2007, 3:56 AM
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tattooed_climber wrote: philbox wrote: Better yet drag her round the room a few times by the nose ring. NOOOOOOOOooooo bad idea other phil.... its a proven fact hippies don't wash (evident, look at the hair) 'biner, AVOID CONTACT!!!! get yourself some pliers and rubber gloves don't forget the safely glasses...i hear hippies spray poisonous venom from glands in the back of their throats
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tattooed_climber
Jan 16, 2007, 3:58 AM
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bahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahah
i think the funkness to the face via yosemite hammer would be hella cooler!!!!!!!
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 3:58 AM
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I told her she has to fold it up unless someone's spending the night, there's no reason that it has to be flat like that, taking up so much room... (note how she hasn't done it yet)
also, if the smell doesn't go away in a week, I'm setting fire to it myself up on the roof.
edited to add: no way in fuck i'd go near that...thing! She never washes! She uses that freaking dr. brommers shit once a month and thats it!
(This post was edited by carabiner96 on Jan 16, 2007, 4:00 AM)
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brent_e
Jan 16, 2007, 3:59 AM
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Get out, Mo, it's not worth that shit. You deserve better.
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tradrenn
Jan 16, 2007, 4:01 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: also, if the smell doesn't go away in a week, I'm setting fire to it myself up on the roof.
Now you talking
Don't forget to take some pics, this could be fun.
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tattooed_climber
Jan 16, 2007, 4:04 AM
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tradrenn wrote: carabiner96 wrote: also, if the smell doesn't go away in a week, I'm setting fire to it myself up on the roof. Now you talking Don't forget to take some pics, this could be fun.
kinda like that simpsons episode where homer gets kicked out of the stonecutters and they burn his stonecutters underwear and all the ghosts fly out..
but in this case its a semen-demon cum-stained futon a hippie has sentimental value for...
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philbox
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Jan 16, 2007, 4:05 AM
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tradrenn wrote: carabiner96 wrote: also, if the smell doesn't go away in a week, I'm setting fire to it myself up on the roof. Now you talking Don't forget to take some pics, this could be fun.
No way, it's youtube vids or nuthin.
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angry
Jan 16, 2007, 4:16 AM
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She'd probably clean up real pretty.
For the record, I like to look at hippie girls but don't like to get close enough to smell them.
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macherry
Jan 16, 2007, 4:20 AM
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ah college life!!!!
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AngusBeefheart
Jan 16, 2007, 4:26 AM
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I had a similar problem last year (the roomate, not the shitty futon). My solution
step 1: find out what she's alergic to
step 2: by a new pet
step 3: profits!
on a completely unrelated note, my scorpion's name is GrisGris
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 4:27 AM
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rendog wrote: philbox wrote: Better yet drag her round the room a few times by the nose ring. I'll one up ya phil.... shave her fekin head while she sleeps. mind you, you'll probably have to de-louse the room after all the lfeas and other bugs jump ship. Just one more reason for you to move to Alberta babe 
I swear to god, one more straw and I'm on my way.
Strikes to move:
*sucky roomie
*beer tax
* fear that I've overcommitted with the BF
*so-so climbing
*no fucking snow
Its a working list...
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brent_e
Jan 16, 2007, 4:30 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: rendog wrote: philbox wrote: Better yet drag her round the room a few times by the nose ring. I'll one up ya phil.... shave her fekin head while she sleeps. mind you, you'll probably have to de-louse the room after all the lfeas and other bugs jump ship. Just one more reason for you to move to Alberta babe I swear to god, one more straw and I'm on my way. Strikes to move: *sucky roomie *beer tax * fear that I've overcommitted with the BF *so-so climbing *no fucking snow Its a working list...
Ooooooh. #3 is a tough one.
Alberta will treat you right!!!! it IS canada!!!
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 4:32 AM
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haha yeah...should never have said "Awww I can't wait till we're married and have kids!" Now I feel like I'm 20 and have found the guy I'll be with forever...which is cool, but kinda...early.
But you know what they say if you're in a different zip code.... 
(This post was edited by carabiner96 on Jan 16, 2007, 4:32 AM)
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 4:38 AM
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wideguy wrote: carabiner96 wrote: haha yeah...should never have said "Awww I can't wait till we're married and have kids!" Now I feel like I'm 20 and have found the guy I'll be with forever...which is cool, but kinda...early. FWIW, and not to project other people's lives into yours, but I met my wife when I was 16, started dating her when I was 18. That was 18 years ago. Going on 13 years married, 3 kids and we're pretty damn good with the way it's turned out. It's unusual in this day and age maybe, but doesn't mean it's weird or bad. 
To be honest, its the one dick for the rest of my life thats a bit of a let down. Not that he doesn't have a nice one, but...oh never mind.
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brent_e
Jan 16, 2007, 4:52 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: wideguy wrote: carabiner96 wrote: haha yeah...should never have said "Awww I can't wait till we're married and have kids!" Now I feel like I'm 20 and have found the guy I'll be with forever...which is cool, but kinda...early. FWIW, and not to project other people's lives into yours, but I met my wife when I was 16, started dating her when I was 18. That was 18 years ago. Going on 13 years married, 3 kids and we're pretty damn good with the way it's turned out. It's unusual in this day and age maybe, but doesn't mean it's weird or bad. To be honest, its the one dick for the rest of my life thats a bit of a let down. Not that he doesn't have a nice one, but...oh never mind.
just make sure his dick wears a hat and you will have less problems.
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 4:54 AM
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brent_e wrote: carabiner96 wrote: wideguy wrote: carabiner96 wrote: haha yeah...should never have said "Awww I can't wait till we're married and have kids!" Now I feel like I'm 20 and have found the guy I'll be with forever...which is cool, but kinda...early. FWIW, and not to project other people's lives into yours, but I met my wife when I was 16, started dating her when I was 18. That was 18 years ago. Going on 13 years married, 3 kids and we're pretty damn good with the way it's turned out. It's unusual in this day and age maybe, but doesn't mean it's weird or bad. To be honest, its the one dick for the rest of my life thats a bit of a let down. Not that he doesn't have a nice one, but...oh never mind. just make sure his dick wears a hat and you will have less problems.
 oh, not me!!! We just started holding hands, I swear 
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tattooed_climber
Jan 16, 2007, 4:54 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: "Awww I can't wait till we're married and have kids!"
thats one way to kill an erection
In reply to: But you know what they say if you're in a different zip code....
we got 'postal codes' up here
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 4:56 AM
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tattooed_climber wrote: In reply to: But you know what they say if you're in a different zip code.... we got 'postal codes' up here
Even better.
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wideguy
Jan 16, 2007, 4:56 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: To be honest, its the one dick for the rest of my life thats a bit of a let down. Not that he doesn't have a nice one, but...oh never mind.
Well, that knife cuts both ways.
Besides, he, theoretically, is stuck with one dick for the rest of his life, why shouldn't you be?
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brent_e
Jan 16, 2007, 5:02 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: brent_e wrote: carabiner96 wrote: wideguy wrote: carabiner96 wrote: haha yeah...should never have said "Awww I can't wait till we're married and have kids!" Now I feel like I'm 20 and have found the guy I'll be with forever...which is cool, but kinda...early. FWIW, and not to project other people's lives into yours, but I met my wife when I was 16, started dating her when I was 18. That was 18 years ago. Going on 13 years married, 3 kids and we're pretty damn good with the way it's turned out. It's unusual in this day and age maybe, but doesn't mean it's weird or bad. To be honest, its the one dick for the rest of my life thats a bit of a let down. Not that he doesn't have a nice one, but...oh never mind. just make sure his dick wears a hat and you will have less problems. oh, not me!!! We just started holding hands, I swear
uh huh.
how was the first time you started holding hands?? good?? awkward?
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 5:03 AM
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wideguy wrote: carabiner96 wrote: To be honest, its the one dick for the rest of my life thats a bit of a let down. Not that he doesn't have a nice one, but...oh never mind. Well, that knife cuts both ways. Besides, he, theoretically, is stuck with one dick for the rest of his life, why shouldn't you be?
OMG, and I agreed to live with him next year.
Maybe when I graduate I'll road trip the country with a *time apart* clause and then come crying back to him and get married once I get the slut out of my system.
P.s. how did this thread degenerate from a leopard print futon to my sex/love life??
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wideguy
Jan 16, 2007, 5:08 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: P.s. how did this thread degenerate from a leopard print futon to my sex/love life??
You said:
carabiner69 wrote: The futon smells like cigarettes and a hooker's ass after a busy night.
so of course it came around to your love life.
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olive
Jan 16, 2007, 5:10 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: wideguy wrote: carabiner96 wrote: To be honest, its the one dick for the rest of my life thats a bit of a let down. Not that he doesn't have a nice one, but...oh never mind. Well, that knife cuts both ways. Besides, he, theoretically, is stuck with one dick for the rest of his life, why shouldn't you be? OMG, and I agreed to live with him next year. Maybe when I graduate I'll road trip the country with a *time apart* clause and then come crying back to him and get married once I get the slut out of my system. P.s. how did this thread degenerate from a leopard print futon to my sex/love life??
When there is leopard print involved, you have to talk about sex/love life. No other way. It comes with the leopard print.
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 5:12 AM
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But its not my leopard print!! 
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brent_e
Jan 16, 2007, 5:16 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: wideguy wrote: carabiner96 wrote: To be honest, its the one dick for the rest of my life thats a bit of a let down. Not that he doesn't have a nice one, but...oh never mind. Well, that knife cuts both ways. Besides, he, theoretically, is stuck with one dick for the rest of his life, why shouldn't you be? OMG, and I agreed to live with him next year. Maybe when I graduate I'll road trip the country with a *time apart* clause and then come crying back to him and get married once I get the slut out of my system. P.s. how did this thread degenerate from a leopard print futon to my sex/love life??
If you do this you'll likely sleep with a few people then realize how nice it is to sleep with someone you care about. Sure, the excitement is always nice, but that'll get old, too.
remember. Make love, not babies.
rendog wrote: welcome to scummunity
i'm surprised no one has broken out the "do her in the pooper"
that might actually work, by the way.
(This post was edited by brent_e on Jan 16, 2007, 5:19 AM)
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rendog
Jan 16, 2007, 5:20 AM
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tattooed_climber wrote: carabiner96 wrote: But its not my leopard print!! 'we' don't know that for sure
I'm sure she's got leopard print somewhere. hmmmm shall we bet on where?
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the_pirate
Jan 16, 2007, 5:25 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: haha yeah...should never have said "Awww I can't wait till we're married and have kids!" Now I feel like I'm 20 and have found the guy I'll be with forever...which is cool, but kinda...early.
look on the bright side: when you are 20, "i'll be with you forever" generally lasts till about 21. maybe 22.
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tattooed_climber
Jan 16, 2007, 5:33 AM
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rendog wrote: tattooed_climber wrote: carabiner96 wrote: But its not my leopard print!! 'we' don't know that for sure I'm sure she's got leopard print somewhere. hmmmm shall we bet on where?
OHHHHH!!!!!
I GO FIRST!!!!!!
PEEP SHOW JERK OFF ROOM!!!!!!!
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petsfed
Jan 16, 2007, 5:41 AM
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As for the smell, febreeze. For the futon, and the girl. Hit 'em both with a fire hose.
Like angry said, she'd probably clean up real nice. But dirty goes all the way to the core.
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the_pirate
Jan 16, 2007, 5:43 AM
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petsfed wrote: As for the smell, febreeze. For the futon, and the girl. Hit 'em both with a fire hose. Like angry said, she'd probably clean up real nice. But dirty goes all the way to the core.
Judging by her picture, that girl needs a tattoo on her ass that says:
THE POOPER IS THE CLEANER HOLE
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rendog
Jan 16, 2007, 5:45 AM
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the_pirate wrote: Judging by her picture, that girl needs a tattoo on her ass that says: THE POOPER IS THE CLEANER HOLE
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
water
all over my fucking screen
thanks
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 5:47 AM
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I don't want to be the one to test out the "cleaner hole theory".
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petsfed
Jan 16, 2007, 5:48 AM
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Forgot to add, febreeze burns when you get it in your eyes. So wear safety glasses!
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yak
Jan 16, 2007, 9:03 AM
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biner96!
you're not going to Alberta...
you're coming to Aust
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bizarrodrinker
Jan 16, 2007, 12:40 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: wideguy wrote: carabiner96 wrote: To be honest, its the one dick for the rest of my life thats a bit of a let down. Not that he doesn't have a nice one, but...oh never mind. Well, that knife cuts both ways. Besides, he, theoretically, is stuck with one dick for the rest of his life, why shouldn't you be? OMG, and I agreed to live with him next year. Maybe when I graduate I'll road trip the country with a *time apart* clause and then come crying back to him and get married once I get the slut out of my system. P.s. how did this thread degenerate from a leopard print futon to my sex/love life??
Cohabitation is a bad idea. It can be a good time, but if you ever want time to yourself you should pursue other living arrangements.
I was lucky enough to slip in the road trip clause beforehand. I am not trying to work anything out of my system though, just need to get away for a couple months.
Back on track, you should be ashamed of yourself for posting such a grotesque image for daytimers to view first thing in the morning (Not the futon).
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climbinganne
Jan 16, 2007, 1:43 PM
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angry wrote: She'd probably clean up real pretty. For the record, I like to look at hippie girls but don't like to get close enough to smell them.
i love the smell of patchouli...from afar
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epoch
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Jan 16, 2007, 1:56 PM
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There. Someone had to do it.....
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wjca
Jan 16, 2007, 3:30 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: The futon smells like cigarettes and a hooker's ass after a busy night.
Exactly how do you know what dirty hooker ass smells like?
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maww
Jan 16, 2007, 3:59 PM
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philbox wrote: Better yet drag her round the room a few times by the nose ring.
This one gets my vote!!!!!
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granite_grrl
Jan 16, 2007, 4:17 PM
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What would happen if you refused to keep it in the room, then just put the futon out by the curb?
I don't know, I would have given her the boot a while ago.....actually she sounds little like my little sister. So wrapped up with herself she doesn't notice/care how it affects other people.
My last year of university my little sister had a party at our house. The room to my locked bedroom door was kicked in and my lap top, nice somputer speaks and wallet was stolen. And no, she has never made any action to pay me back, never appologized, and never thought she did anything wrong.
At least you can get rid of your room mate, I still have to see my sister whenever I visit back home.
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chadnsc
Jan 16, 2007, 5:08 PM
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Ah, dorm life! How I don't miss it.
The solution to your problem is quite simple.
All you have to do is re-arrange the room so the hooker futon and the rest of her hippie stuff is under her loft. If she doesn’t like it the two of you can then have a nice conversation about how inappropriate it is to move other people things. Oh, just like she did to you!
Good luck.
Damn, your roommate is, uh, visually unique.
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 5:40 PM
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As much as I would love to give her the boot and would have loved to a long time ago, I live in a dorm. University policy says blah blah the only way to get a new roomies is if she rapes me or something. :)
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wjca
Jan 16, 2007, 5:49 PM
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Once you get a wiff of stinky hooker ass after a busy night, how long does it take to get away from the smell? Does it get into your clothes?
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epoch
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Jan 16, 2007, 5:55 PM
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I say that you casually take it outside. If anyone asks you what you are doing tell them there is going to be a bonfire in the quad and for them to bring thier flammables. It's snowing for craps sake.
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carabiner96
Jan 16, 2007, 6:34 PM
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It'll be a riot...like when the sox won the series...burning down the campus!
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basilisk
Jan 16, 2007, 6:57 PM
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burn the leopard print one, replace it with this stylish beast
i'd pull it out, but i really don't want to mess with the gear stored under there.
but trust me, she'll simply love the geodesic design. it's very "in"
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miademus
Jan 16, 2007, 7:36 PM
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...hehe your roomate is a damn asshole...
I was once sharing with a guy which got on my nerves too...in other ways....well...suddently he doesn't live in the city anymore
anyway, can't you get her ass out?!
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zabens
Jan 16, 2007, 8:48 PM
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It would be interesting to see a picture of that thing taken with a blacklight.
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rendog
Jan 17, 2007, 2:08 AM
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zabens wrote: It would be interesting to see a picture of that thing taken with a blacklight.
jeeze man that would make many of us puke, mind you it would probably convince the dirty hippie chick to sit up and take notice.
I'm all for the burning idea
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nevenneve
Jan 17, 2007, 5:27 AM
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I'm betting on the subliminal tie-die pattern(apparent under black light) playing heavily into her initial reasoning for the purchase. Anyhoo, it's almost nostalgic to see our chute packers have pulled out enough to let us have back our threads the polite scategorically avoid, with pics no less. I guess it won't be long before before normally tactful people are fighting to restrain themselves from twisting the public life of puberty enduring phenoms into little snips like; the dookey dolls are gone but is she working for Dick now.
RANT
Back on topic, there have been wondrous advances in automated disinfection systems, since it smells like a whorehouse crapper. Seeing that could apply to either of the undesired objects get two. Digging farther back, you did'nt share your salad days with he who shall not be mentioned, tradren?
(This post was edited by nevenneve on Jan 17, 2007, 9:29 AM)
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dripdry
Jan 17, 2007, 5:37 AM
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Oh come on now... your roomie just needs a hug and some good karma, that 's all!
Maybe even spending some quality time doing crayon drawings on the futon with her will help bring you closer together...
If not, I say just stuff her patchouli ass in a meat grinder and forget the entire semester ever happened.
Maybe a tad extreme, but it might help the stench.
edit: P.S. Wow, that's pretty violent.
(This post was edited by dripdry on Jan 17, 2007, 5:41 AM)
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philbox
Moderator
Jan 17, 2007, 5:38 AM
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Well thanks for sharing your stream of consciousness. 
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viperziz
Jan 17, 2007, 6:22 AM
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Part of me says:
Get her real drunk at a strange bar, take her home sit her in the shower and buzz all of her hair off (get some tongs and remove the nasty locks from the shower, bury them somewhere far away), turn it on... (not too cold as to snap the alcohol out of her), then put her on the floor and tell her the next day that she left the bar with some bald hippie (of course you tried to talk her out of it but she said "Trust me, I'll be fine"), came home soaked and crying that she made a horrible mistake of getting aforementioned dude to trim her dreds then passed out. Make sure to giver her shit for leaving you at the bar.
The other part of me says that this is really entertaining stuff... leave her be and write more.
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jeremy9876543
Jan 17, 2007, 9:09 AM
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tradrenn wrote: carabiner96 wrote: also, if the smell doesn't go away in a week, I'm setting fire to it myself up on the roof. Now you talking Don't forget to take some pics, this could be fun.
Watch it. That's how things get started. Burnin a man in Nevada and then burnin a couch in Vermont. Where will it stop?
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devils_advocate
Jan 17, 2007, 4:50 PM
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jeremy9876543 wrote: tradrenn wrote: carabiner96 wrote: also, if the smell doesn't go away in a week, I'm setting fire to it myself up on the roof. Now you talking Don't forget to take some pics, this could be fun. Watch it. That's how things get started. Burnin a man in Nevada and then burnin a couch in Vermont. Where will it stop?
Next thing you know yer burnin the toast in Kansas. Oh, the humanity.
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dookie
Jan 17, 2007, 6:44 PM
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the_pirate wrote: look on the bright side: when you are 20, "i'll be with you forever" generally lasts till about 21. maybe 22.
NOW on to roomie situation.
Here's what you need to do. Develop a severe intestinal disease of some sort. Any kind will do: Colitis, Chron's Disease, IBS, a number of them out there. My friend did this at SLU when we were in college. Freaking guy got a single handicapped room every year. Just mention bowel syndromes and they scramble to find you a single room with its own bathroom for fear that you'll shit the bed at night and traumatize you and everyone around you.
It's at least worth a try, worst thing happens you can't move and you're no worse off than today. Good luck, roommates suck, I can vouch for that!
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carabiner96
Jan 17, 2007, 6:50 PM
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dookie wrote: the_pirate wrote: look on the bright side: when you are 20, "i'll be with you forever" generally lasts till about 21. maybe 22. Ah pirate, you're always so right! If I'd married the guy I said I was going to marry (and had committed that to him) when I was 20, I'd be so divorced by now it wouldn't even be funny! Instead I did the hard/right thing - broke it off my sophomore year and never looked back. Now I'm getting married to a guy I really do love in 4 months and couldn't be happier I wouldn't worry about making these kinds of 'commitments'. There's no ring on your finger, there's no marriage license. You're still free as a bird!
Ahh the thing is I really do love him, I want to have a life with him and have lots of babies and get old with him and blah blah blah...But I just wish I had met him a few more years down the road, you know?
Doesn't help I'm moving in with him come may..it's a house of 7 people but to "take a break" would be a lot harder when your living with the dood!
Regarding the futon, I seriously believe I'm allergic to it. I've been strangely sick ever since I've been back at school, like constant heart burn (i've never had heartburn!) nausea, faintness, snifffles... its all that damn things fault. And by thing I mean my roomie.
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wideguy
Jan 17, 2007, 6:55 PM
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Tell her she can keep the futon but the matress has to be replaced and the cover needs to be dry cleaned.
or "accidentally" set it on fire, or hide it under a bar of soap till she forgets she had it.
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maww
Jan 17, 2007, 7:12 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: dookie wrote: the_pirate wrote: look on the bright side: when you are 20, "i'll be with you forever" generally lasts till about 21. maybe 22. Ah pirate, you're always so right! If I'd married the guy I said I was going to marry (and had committed that to him) when I was 20, I'd be so divorced by now it wouldn't even be funny! Instead I did the hard/right thing - broke it off my sophomore year and never looked back. Now I'm getting married to a guy I really do love in 4 months and couldn't be happier I wouldn't worry about making these kinds of 'commitments'. There's no ring on your finger, there's no marriage license. You're still free as a bird! Ahh the thing is I really do love him, I want to have a life with him and have lots of babies and get old with him and blah blah blah...But I just wish I had met him a few more years down the road, you know? Doesn't help I'm moving in with him come may..it's a house of 7 people but to "take a break" would be a lot harder when your living with the dood!
Hmmph..I don't know what to tell you my dear. Well I say DON'T get married just yet (if that's even a consideration!). I was in a similar situation but fate took care of it for me and we broke up after 2 amazing years together. I have wonderful memories of our time together but I'm so glad we aren't anymore. I would never have moved to Colorado, would not be pursuing my own business or anything else I've done in the last few years.
I think most of us have so much personal growing to do that marriage before 30 is sometimes ill-advised. Now I have many friends and family who married before 30 and are quite happy (so far so good!). But then again that is much more the norm in the Midwest it seems.
Honestly I can barely imagine marriage now at 30 but it's much more of a possibility than it would've been 5 years ago.
Just my 2 cents my dear. Good luck!
P.S. As far as your roommate, I'm all for the meat-grinder or haircut solutions offered earlier. :)
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112
Jan 17, 2007, 8:13 PM
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I wonder how much smack your roomate talks about you.
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wideguy
Jan 17, 2007, 8:33 PM
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112 wrote: I wonder how much smack your roomate talks about you.
LOL!!
dirtyhippyroomie wrote: DAMN IT!!! I tried stealing her food and beer. I tried not bathing. I tried locking her out of the room for a night. I even got a sofa from the local whorehouse, moved it into our room and re-arranged everything without her input. What do I have to do to get this girl to move the fuck out so I can have a single?!?!?!? I swear, one more day living like a filty patchouli stinking hippy and I'm gonna freak the fuck OUT!!!
(This post was edited by wideguy on Jan 17, 2007, 8:33 PM)
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dripdry
Jan 17, 2007, 10:52 PM
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Go goth. Wear black and listen to loud, angry music all the time. Set up black candles on the floor and chant; involve small dead animals if possible. Use skulls, knives, and anything else you think would freak her out.
I did this my freshman year, and my roommate was gone by the end of the semester. Then again, he was very catholic and from Xenia, Ohio.
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carabiner96
Jan 17, 2007, 11:05 PM
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112 wrote: I wonder how much smack your roomate talks about you.
renee? that you?
BITCH COW TIT SUCKER ASS LICKING DIRTY HIPPIE DICK MAGGOT!
OH AND BY THE WAY MY BOYFRIEND IS COMING OVER AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE DIRTY, NASTY SEX ON YOUR BED ON TOP OF YOUR TEDDY BEAR.
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qdiggety
Jan 17, 2007, 11:07 PM
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zabens wrote: It would be interesting to see a picture of that thing taken with a blacklight.
Ick.....
You would have to name the futon "Jizz Master Zero" after that.
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thomasribiere
Jan 17, 2007, 11:08 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: 112 wrote: I wonder how much smack your roomate talks about you. renee? that you? BITCH COW TIT SUCKER ASS LICKING DIRTY HIPPIE DICK MAGGOT! OH AND BY THE WAY MY BOYFRIEND IS COMING OVER AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE DIRTY, NASTY SEX ON YOUR BED ON TOP OF YOUR TEDDY BEAR.
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carabiner96
Jan 17, 2007, 11:09 PM
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Someone's bitter about the french style peeing comment.
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devils_advocate
Jan 17, 2007, 11:10 PM
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thomasribiere wrote: carabiner96 wrote: 112 wrote: I wonder how much smack your roomate talks about you. renee? that you? BITCH COW TIT SUCKER ASS LICKING DIRTY HIPPIE DICK MAGGOT! OH AND BY THE WAY MY BOYFRIEND IS COMING OVER AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE DIRTY, NASTY SEX ON YOUR BED ON TOP OF YOUR TEDDY BEAR. so we know where the whore ass smell comes from...
SHIZAM!
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112
Jan 18, 2007, 1:52 AM
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carabiner96 wrote: renee? that you?
Nope.
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viperziz
Jan 18, 2007, 4:38 AM
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dirtyhippyroomie wrote: DAMN IT!!! I tried stealing her food and beer. I tried not bathing. I tried locking her out of the room for a night. I even got a sofa from the local whorehouse, moved it into our room and re-arranged everything without her input. What do I have to do to get this girl to move the fuck out so I can have a single?!?!?!? I swear, one more day living like a filty patchouli stinking hippy and I'm gonna freak the fuck OUT!!!
Love it!
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markc
Jan 18, 2007, 4:07 PM
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I gave a quick look at both threads and have trouble understanding why you're still rooming with her. She has damaged your property, stolen from you, and now you may be having an allergic reaction to something she brought into your room without permission. She also locked you out of your room overnight. Based upon all this and a general incompatibility, I'd think one of you could get reassigned. If you have to settle for a lesser space with a better person, I'd think you'd be happier for it.
Does she have any friends in the dorms? Could you negotiate an informal swap if they'd rather room together? My wife only lived in the dorms for one semester, and really didn't mesh with her first roommate for a variety of reasons. As least in her case, getting reassigned wasn't a big deal.
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chadnsc
Jan 18, 2007, 4:16 PM
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I think Biner just likes to have drama in her life. It gives her something to post about.
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qdiggety
Jan 18, 2007, 4:22 PM
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Yup. She could be doing homework, giving blowjobs, etc. But, nooooooo..... She wants to piss 'n moan on the internet.
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jgloporto
Jan 18, 2007, 7:11 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: chadnsc wrote: I think Biner just likes to have drama in her life. It gives her something to post about. Um, are you not entertained? OK guys, I have a confession. I'm actually a 47 year old man named Harvey and I live in a trailer in pennsylvania. I've never climbed before, but I really get off when strange guys on the internet hit on me thinking i'm a cute 20 year old co-ed. Sorry.
I F@CKING KNEW IT!!!!!
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wjca
Jan 18, 2007, 7:13 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: chadnsc wrote: I think Biner just likes to have drama in her life. It gives her something to post about. Um, are you not entertained? OK guys, I have a confession. I'm actually a 47 year old man named Harvey and I live in a trailer in pennsylvania. I've never climbed before, but I really get off when strange guys on the internet hit on me thinking i'm a cute 20 year old co-ed. Sorry.
Harvey, is that you?
(This post was edited by wjca on Jan 18, 2007, 7:13 PM)
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wideguy
Jan 18, 2007, 7:15 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: chadnsc wrote: I think Biner just likes to have drama in her life. It gives her something to post about. Um, are you not entertained? OK guys, I have a confession. I'm actually a 47 year old man named Harvey and I live in a trailer in pennsylvania. I've never climbed before, but I really get off when strange guys on the internet hit on me thinking i'm a cute 20 year old co-ed. Sorry.
That's HOT!!
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devils_advocate
Jan 18, 2007, 7:47 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: OK guys, I have a confession. I'm actually a 47 year old man named Harvey and I live in a trailer in pennsylvania. I've never climbed before, but I really get off when strange guys on the internet hit on me thinking i'm a cute 20 year old co-ed. Sorry.
So my offer still stands, want to go out sometime
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chadnsc
Jan 18, 2007, 8:18 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: chadnsc wrote: I think Biner just likes to have drama in her life. It gives her something to post about. Um, are you not entertained? OK guys, I have a confession. I'm actually a 47 year old man named Harvey and I live in a trailer in pennsylvania. I've never climbed before, but I really get off when strange guys on the internet hit on me thinking i'm a cute 20 year old co-ed. Sorry.
I wouldn’t call it entertained. I think my use of this site, and this topic as more of a means to take a brake from work while still appearing productive on a computer.
Wait a minute; you don't want to get hit on by strange internet guys? I thought that’s why you posted here.
Wait, so you are a guy named Harvey? I'm confused
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carabiner96
Jan 18, 2007, 8:19 PM
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devils_advocate wrote: carabiner96 wrote: OK guys, I have a confession. I'm actually a 47 year old man named Harvey and I live in a trailer in pennsylvania. I've never climbed before, but I really get off when strange guys on the internet hit on me thinking i'm a cute 20 year old co-ed. Sorry. So my offer still stands, want to go out sometime
Sure, I'll wax my nutsac just for you.
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viperziz
Jan 18, 2007, 8:38 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: chadnsc wrote: I think Biner just likes to have drama in her life. It gives her something to post about. Um, are you not entertained? OK guys, I have a confession. I'm actually a 47 year old man named Harvey and I live in a trailer in pennsylvania. I've never climbed before, but I really get off when strange guys on the internet hit on me thinking i'm a cute 20 year old co-ed. Sorry.
Actually this explains a lot about Biner's personality...
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brent_e
Jan 18, 2007, 9:01 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: devils_advocate wrote: carabiner96 wrote: OK guys, I have a confession. I'm actually a 47 year old man named Harvey and I live in a trailer in pennsylvania. I've never climbed before, but I really get off when strange guys on the internet hit on me thinking i'm a cute 20 year old co-ed. Sorry. So my offer still stands, want to go out sometime Sure, I'll wax my nutsac just for you.
owie.
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nevenneve
Jan 19, 2007, 3:20 AM
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viperziz wrote: carabiner96 wrote: chadnsc wrote: I think Biner just likes to have drama in her life. It gives her something to post about. Um, are you not entertained? OK guys, I have a confession. I'm actually a 47 year old man named Harvey and I live in a trailer in pennsylvania. I've never climbed before, but I really get off when strange guys on the internet hit on me thinking i'm a cute 20 year old co-ed. Sorry. Actually this explains a lot about Biner's personality...
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dripdry
Jan 19, 2007, 3:49 AM
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...and the smell.
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kantkatchme
Jan 19, 2007, 5:09 AM
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(im not sure if you still need the advice on the roomie now that you ve admitted who you really are)
but, if she was my roomie
i would just move the futon into the hall..
(or if that would cause more problems just get it out of the building)
then make a mess of the room (your stuff included) maybe hide your tv and stuff, and then bitch to her that some dirty fucker came and took the bed and your tv....
and just let the rant go on and on and on...
....ive only ever tried this with clothing ...but she got the point...and moved out...(i guess haveing your dffle chuked out a window is a good sign you arnt welcome any more... except back then i was the one with dreads and a nose ring.)
good luck...
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AngusBeefheart
Jan 19, 2007, 11:55 AM
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A good social ecologist studying the indigenous fauna of a standard college campus knows that there is only one niche that the university hippy (Filthius trustfundae) cannot interact with on any level: the frat stars (Clavicus popei).
The simple solution is to find four or five of the biggest, loudest, drunkest, most profane brothers you can (preferable ones who you trust), set up a beer pong table in your room, and make sure they're there as often as possible, even when you're not. Then sit back and enjoy the show.
Also, crank the deah metal.
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cellardoor
Jan 19, 2007, 5:30 PM
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In reply to: Also, crank the deah metal.
If i remember correctly, doesn't slayer cause hippie's heads to explode or something?
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bizarrodrinker
Jan 19, 2007, 5:37 PM
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cellardoor wrote: In reply to: Also, crank the deah metal. If i remember correctly, doesn't slayer cause hippie's heads to explode or something?
It's the negative vibes man. They are totally killin my superfly buzz.
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rendog
Jan 19, 2007, 5:46 PM
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cellardoor wrote: In reply to: Also, crank the deah metal. If i remember correctly, doesn't slayer cause hippie's heads to explode or something?
no actually it's Sepultura. Slayer causes them to spontaneously combust.
either way it's not a bad thing!
what's black and brown and looks fantasic around a hippie's neck?
A Doberman!
(This post was edited by rendog on Jan 19, 2007, 5:47 PM)
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cellardoor
Jan 19, 2007, 6:00 PM
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Here's the solution, and video evidence that it works
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TSsF_n5R5Y
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