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maculated
Feb 1, 2004, 5:13 AM
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I happen to hold my family's opinions with respect, even if I know they do not completely comprehend everything that I do, especially now.
Back when I was into dog showing big time, they never understood why I couldn't just have a nice little pet dog.
Now, they can't understand why it's integral to my life to go out and do some unsafe things (world travel, ice climbing, climbing in general, road trips, etc), and their tension seems to be increasing the more 'daring' I become.
My tactic is to mainly keep quiet about what I do until I've done it . . .
How do you all deal with the worried people who love you?
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thurgood
Feb 1, 2004, 5:28 AM
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take them climbing and show them how cautious you are
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stevied
Feb 1, 2004, 5:47 AM
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For the most part they have been supportive. Every once in a while my Mom will hear of something I did/climbed and freak out. I just tell her I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think it was safe. Take em climbing or teach them to belay, that way they see how careful you are and gain more trust in the gear.
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phaedrus
Feb 1, 2004, 5:58 AM
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My family's only real knowledge of climbing is what they see in ads like the Visa one on tv. Over the holidays, that came on the tv... my grandmother looked at me and said, "Look at those fools... you don't do anything like that do you?" I looked her in the eye and said, "Nope, never have." Which is true- I haven't done a big wall... yet. :wink: And I don't plan on telling them until after I've done it.
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oudinardin
Feb 1, 2004, 6:03 AM
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It's my Dad's fault. Thought it would be a good idea to teach his eldest son of 10 years the ropes. Curse? I don't know. Klimed uh bunch o stuff adn spint alot oh hiz monei. No, It's not a curse, it's everything, but had I followed his path I would'nt be living on the financial edge, soon to be living out of the back oh my Subie, once again. Ahhh, sounds like heaven.
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jumpingrock
Feb 1, 2004, 6:23 AM
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My mom's opposition to me taking up climbing is one of the big reasons I actually bought the shoes and went climbing for the first time. Guess the rebel inside won. My family is generally concerned but they trust my judgement and know that if I want to do something crazy they can't stop me (heh heh heh running of the bulls here I come). They hope I don't ome home in a casket or worst with perminant brain/spinal cord damage.
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climbhp
Feb 1, 2004, 6:31 AM
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My family overall is pretty supportive. Some of the time when my mom hears about something I did that wasnt "completely safe" she gets mad at me and tells me that she won't let me climb anymore, but she eventually gets over it. My grandmother on the other hand is always worried every time I tell her I'm going climbing. When she first found out I was going to climb she was very unhappy. All she could say was how much she didn't want me to, but now that she sees that I'm going to do it none the less, she just wishes me luck and always reminds me to be safe.
ROCK ON
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coldclimb
Feb 1, 2004, 6:31 AM
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I tell my parents anything and everything about things I do, and generally they just accept whatever I am and keep on living. They don't dislike me climbing any more than anything else I do. My Grandparents disaprove, though. ;)
As for me, personally I've always been quite uncaring about just about everything. If others don't like what I do, it generally doesn't matter to me. I've noticed that a lot of the rest of the world doesn't see it this way though. ;)
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mortal_wombat
Feb 1, 2004, 6:35 AM
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I haven't been out on real rock yet, but I'm sure my 'rents will be cool with it. My sister and grandparents on the other hand...well, they don't have to know until after I make it to the top. ;)
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bouldertom
Feb 1, 2004, 6:38 AM
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My family gets worried if I tell them or show them pictures. I figure it's easier for both of us if I just don't tell them everything I do. This could apply for many activities other than climbing actually...
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girlclimb
Feb 1, 2004, 7:06 AM
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My mom was the one who first bought me the pass to go climbing at 15 for one month at the gym i used the pass so much i have had one ever since. I think my mom worries but she has always supported me however when going out side she always had to do background checks on my partners lol make sure they took the proper courses, had been climbing for like ever, ect ect ect... My grandmother thinks it is awesome!!!!! she is so cute sometimes she goes to the wall with me and starts hitting on all the climbers telling them if she was their age... haha now that i'm in college my mom can't do the background checks and i am finding more opportunities to go outside, she gets wicked nervous but she for the most part is still encouraging.
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karmaklimber
Feb 1, 2004, 7:08 AM
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To have fun, but be safe.
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kunzie
Feb 1, 2004, 7:42 AM
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How I best sedated my parents towards my climbing adventures was to prove to them, from early on, that I live a charmed life, and will only die doing something special. Hubris in this form just kinda made them give up, and after taking my mum climbing a few times, she enjoyed it and gave me her blessings. Dad, on the other hand, tried top-roping and never trusted the rope or his feet, so he just said go and be done with you.
Always fun :D
Later on though, I'll take them on a camping trip to Arapiles, so they can completely experience the culture. And completely accept who I am. They just think I'm unorthodox at the moment
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deleted
Deleted
Feb 1, 2004, 8:51 AM
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[quote:602e1ecbe3="maculated"]
Back when I was into dog showing big time, they never understood why I couldn't just have a nice little pet dog.
[/quote:602e1ecbe3]
Are you f===in' serious. I can't belive anyone put this in a post, let alone admitted to being "into dog showing" Oh my god, this is hysterical. Haven't you seen best in show? oh my god, you can't be serious. this is too funny. what a toolbox. i can't believe how much you suck! wow!
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kunzie
Feb 1, 2004, 9:14 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: Back when I was into dog showing big time, they never understood why I couldn't just have a nice little pet dog. Are you f===in' serious. I can't belive anyone put this in a post, let alone admitted to being "into dog showing" Oh my god, this is hysterical. Haven't you seen best in show? oh my god, you can't be serious. this is too funny. what a toolbox. i can't believe how much you suck! wow!
Yes, because we all lie about what we do in an attempt to impress those on the internet. Isn't it rather hypocritical of you abusing the act of dog-showing, when thats essentially what your mother did anytime she took you to the park as a child?
No, don't turn this into a flame-fest, I'm just having fun here dude, but just kinda reflect on your method and what it reflects on you, y'dig?
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reno
Feb 1, 2004, 10:46 AM
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With the exception of my mother, who is very cool about such things after learning the strength of my gear, most of them have a great deal of trepidation.
The Monday before the Ouray festival, I was at my uncle's funeral. We were all sitting around chatting, and I was asked what my week had in store:
"Going ice climbing."
"You're gonna do what?"
"Well, when a waterfall gets cold enough and stays cold for long enough, it freezes. Then we go climb up it."
"Are you out of your damn mind?!?!?!"
"Yep."
Then I had to explain all the gear, and they still had an incredulous look.
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fontyyy
Feb 1, 2004, 11:36 AM
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My mum is totally cool with it, in her own words "I'd rather you die doing something you love than die having not done it", my dad just says take care and thats about it really. My sister does climb, solo sometimes and has fell badly in the past so she knows you can't guarantee anything.
IMHO if someone made a real fuss (no one ever has) they're not really concered about my well being, they haven't listened to what I said and they don't really know or care about ME at all, if they did they'd want me to enjoy my life while I am here, not just prolong it to avoid THEIR pain. Therefore they are putting their own feelings ahead of any concern for my quality of life and hence are selfish fools and I wouldn't waste my time being concered about their opinions as they are not bothered about mine.
I do of course realize this is the old;
she says "if you loved me you wouldn't do it"
he says "if you loved me you wouldn't ask me not to"
arguement that goes around for ever but as I see it we will all die anyway, the aim is not to live as long as possible but to live as much as possible.
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lollipopchic
Feb 1, 2004, 11:52 AM
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In reply to: take them climbing and show them how cautious you are
This is good advice! I've taken my dad with me climbing outdoors and taught him how to belay and showed him how safe it can be. My parents are pretty good, letting me (17) and my brother (15) go climbing outdoors by ourselves. They even let us fly to Melbourne from Perth and then take the train down to Arapiles and climb there for a few days by ourselves. My dad sometimes gets a little worried, but generally he is okay with us climbing.
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dc
Feb 1, 2004, 1:58 PM
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my parents are fine with me climbing.. in fact they probably get a little tired of me talking bout climbing too much of the time.. but they're interested in seeing the pics from a day at the crag...
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deleted
Deleted
Feb 1, 2004, 2:36 PM
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[quote:a4cc7bfbd6="kunzie"][quote:a4cc7bfbd6="mandrew"][quote:a4cc7bfbd6="maculated"]
Back when I was into dog showing big time, they never understood why I couldn't just have a nice little pet dog.
[/quote:a4cc7bfbd6]
Are you f===in' serious. I can't belive anyone put this in a post, let alone admitted to being "into dog showing" Oh my god, this is hysterical. Haven't you seen best in show? oh my god, you can't be serious. this is too funny. what a toolbox. i can't believe how much you suck! wow![/quote:a4cc7bfbd6]
Yes, because we all lie about what we do in an attempt to impress those on the internet. Isn't it rather hypocritical of you abusing the act of dog-showing, when thats essentially what your mother did anytime she took you to the park as a child?
No, don't turn this into a flame-fest, I'm just having fun here dude, but just kinda reflect on your method and what it reflects on you, y'dig?[/quote:a4cc7bfbd6]
dog-showing! oh my god!
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canrocker
Feb 1, 2004, 2:53 PM
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My parents aren't too excited about me climbing, but they know that I'm gonna do whatever I want no matter how much they object. So they figured I should at least be properly trained in safe technique, and put up some cash for lessons. Can't complain about $free$ climbing, eh?
PS: I don't understand how someone can subject an animal to that show BS, but hey, whatever bakes your cake, right? A few friends and myself formed a fight club (just like the movie, but without the whole Project Mayhem deal), so who am I to judge? :)
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wildduck
Feb 1, 2004, 3:12 PM
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When I went to my first outdoor climb.........
My dad's ok with the gym.... But when he heard 30 meters or 100 feet climb, he banned me and told me not to go outdoors anymore... but he doesn't have to know.. perhaps one day i'll drag him along and let him see how is it like.... and how cautious we are with safety in lead and climbing itself. Be it 30m up the rock or ground zero. Safety comes first.
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charley
Feb 1, 2004, 3:45 PM
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boulder with.
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calamity_chk
Feb 1, 2004, 6:49 PM
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at first, they thought it was cute .. until i got busted for climbing my mom's rock fireplace. though, they're pretty used to the fact that i "walk to the beat of my own drum."
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iltripp
Feb 1, 2004, 7:20 PM
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Here's the way to get them to accept and even support your climbing:
All you have to do is explain that gear makes it really really safe, see. Say something like, "without the proper gear, it can get dangerous, but if you have everything you need, you're very well protected". Then say something to the effect of, "unfortunately, I don't have a crucial set of stoppers and a new #4 camalot, so right now it's a bit dangerous".
There you go, watch the gifts start rolling in.
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brittamac
Feb 1, 2004, 7:20 PM
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My folks pretty much pretend that I dont climb. I called her from the top of a climb once last year (she lives on the other side of the country) and told her "you should see this mom, what an amazing view." She said "call me when you're down." CLICK.
Never thought my own mother would hang up on her child remembering to call her....
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emtclimber
Feb 1, 2004, 8:08 PM
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My family doesn't worry too much about my climbing habits...I used to ride bulls and that was way more painful (so far).
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rockclimbergirl
Feb 1, 2004, 8:12 PM
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My family thought i was crazy and i might of hit my head on something... but after a while they got used to it and just stopped talking about it in general. They made it clear they would never do it though. :D
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mmckinney
Feb 2, 2004, 1:51 AM
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there was a rift in my relationship with my mother at the time i started climbing (my father had died the year before)... and climbing, and my actions that i took, ie dropping out of college and moving tothe sierra nevada, made our interation pretty bad... two way street. Now i think that she has come to accept that this is what i do, and she wants me to be happy. most of the time she doesnt ask and i only tell when i am back home safe, that way she doesnt worry as much. moms alway worry, i think its their job... i work at hights and she always asks me if i have a harness and am tied in...
we had to accept each other to appreciate who we were
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cjstudent
Feb 2, 2004, 1:56 AM
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My dad is ok with it because he has been and knows the safety measures. My mom hates the idea of it. For the obvious danger reasons and the fact that i am always gone climbing. I tried the whole "take them to see me climb" thing to calm mom's nerves. However, i took a 30 foot lead fall pulling a cam in the process so that didn't calm her nerves very much. Haha
They generally just go along with it, they also know and trust my belayer(s).
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pixelguru
Feb 2, 2004, 3:32 AM
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I was at a comp yesterday in an indoor gym, and I saw a mother hold up her baby to the wall so that they could grab one of the holds. The kid, who couldn't have been any more than a year old, let out this great squeal of joy when they latched onto the hold and clung there while the mother supported the baby's legs.
There may not be a lot of hope for the previous generation, but the next one is off to a good start.
...and the only injured people I saw at the comp had broken bones from snowboarding!!!
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climbhigh2005
Feb 2, 2004, 11:23 AM
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My family is pretty cool with me climbing.. my dad tried climbing once... he hasnt been back since... my parnter's parents like it ok, and his mom goes with us every now and then... my parents are one of those parents that think climbers should wear gloves.. LOL anyone elses parents say that?
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josephine
Feb 2, 2004, 12:12 PM
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I became a member in the climbing club of my college without asking my parents,and started learning to climb indoors and after a week outdoors...When i went to my first outdoor area,my parents thought that i will go there for trekking or hiking,they didn't believe me that i would go there and climb rocks hanging from a rope.Well,ummmm when i get the first pics,and showed them...they were shocked,my dad got used with the idea and liked it...but my mom still doesn't like the idea,she's afraid way too much.I tried to make her understand the safety and explain to her..but still doesn't get it...oh well...she'll get used to it one day
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overlord
Feb 2, 2004, 1:59 PM
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there wasnt any.
just "no, you cant get the car!!!!!"
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reprieve
Feb 2, 2004, 2:34 PM
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In reply to: my parents are one of those parents that think climbers should wear gloves.. LOL anyone elses parents say that?
LOL my girlfriend always tells me that b/c she doesn't like my cut-up and calloused hands. hehe, oh well.
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lollipopchic
Feb 2, 2004, 2:50 PM
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In reply to: my parents are one of those parents that think climbers should wear gloves.. LOL anyone elses parents say that?
Hey me too! Seems like a lot of non-climbers have this idea that wearing gloves makes it easier... :roll:
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dontfall
Feb 2, 2004, 3:14 PM
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I tell them if I'm going to die I want to die on the rocks. They know the dangers of it and they know the risks that are involved with this. I have explained what kind of climbing I do and what I do to keep myself safe. They have a fair amount of knowledge about climbing so they understand what it's all about. They support it all the way and I know for a fact that they would never take that away from me.
However when I tell them I climb w/o a helmet, they freak. I know bought a helmet and then my mom says oh, it's ulgy. Hhaha
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jammin
Feb 2, 2004, 3:15 PM
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It helps to be married to a climber!
My parents think its alright, they were half expecting our wedding at some local crag. My mom wants to try it this summer.
I must say that my folks have tried just about every outdoor sport there is and I was brought up in the woods.
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kellie
Feb 2, 2004, 5:04 PM
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"One method of getting loved ones to look more fondly on your climbing is to tell them that since you've started climbing you hardly do drugs anymore." David Harris, rec.climbing, Feb 2001
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climbon_stone
Feb 2, 2004, 5:10 PM
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Yea, my dad HATE's that i out dorr climb, but hes ignorent and doesnt know how safe climbing can be. because unlike some other sports. theres a protocal that u go by, a what to do and what not to do mind set . i dunno, mabe its just me, but too many ppl judge a book by its cover.
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watchme
Feb 2, 2004, 5:11 PM
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I started climbing when I was 16, so not only were my parents worried about that, they were also stressed about me driving!
I've been climbing for so long now that my folks don't think much of it. That said, my mom just wants to know about what I have done, not what I am planning on doing.
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gregtrammell
Feb 2, 2004, 5:31 PM
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I've actually got a couple of family members hooked on climbing. They all know I would never do anything i thuoght to be dangerous, so they are usually not too worried about it. The only comment I usually get is "why would you want to climb a big rock?", some people just don't have the itch.
Oh well.
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crazygirl
Feb 2, 2004, 5:35 PM
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my parents fell asleep while watching a video of me climbing
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reedereater
Feb 2, 2004, 5:49 PM
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My family has all been really cool with it. My parents did some mountaineering about 10 years ago, and my uncle (just retired from his presidency) does a mountaineering rescue group and does mountains a few times a year so they all understand. So that also doesn't make them worry about the outdoor sport climbing that I do. They know the risks, and they know that I'm safe about it. When I first started climbing they would always do the "background check" (as stated in a previous post) on anybody I went with, but since I've become an instructor so they know that I'm the one out there that's safe and don't worry anymore. I've also shown that if I don't trust somebody with my life that I won't climb. So all in all, supportive family, and a girlfriend that just doesn't understand but won't try to inhibit it. Maybe one day she'll actually come out with me, then maybe one day after that I can get her to try climbing (yeah right!).
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ginerbiner
Feb 2, 2004, 6:29 PM
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To people who just don't understand, especially due to safety, I explain that it is quite safe: safer than ice hockey, soccer, mountain biking, football, driving the highways, etc. Go ahead, compare the injury and death reports. It's just that when something goes wrong in climbing it's a bigger deal (and almost always climber error), not that it happens more often than in other sports and hobbies. Also, I explain that safety checks are redundant and it's a slow, methodical sport, like yoga with ropes. Now mountain biking is some scarey stuff! And anything underwater... has anyone told you that there's no air down there?!?!?!?! and that we are food down there?!?!?!?!? :wink:
Mom is excited for me. Dad thinks I'm nuts. Grandma keeps forgetting.
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keazah
Feb 2, 2004, 6:40 PM
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I had a pretty hard time convincing my parents that it was ok... I had to take them climbing with me before I could go to the real rock... and I had to climb indoors for a while because they found it important before going on rock. But now I don't have too much trouble but I am constantly remided of all the accidents they manage to hear of. :? Which is actually kind of anoying!
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mrmons
Feb 2, 2004, 6:43 PM
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My Dad was a little sketchy about it but he knows I don't take big chances and I'm always safe. My mom on the other hand worries if I tell her I'm driving up north. Mom's are like that! My grandmother is scared to death of me climbing. I enlarged a picture from a climb last season to 8 X 10 and framed it for her! I love messing with her! She's got a great sense of humor!
Mr. Mons :twisted:
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alliecat
Feb 2, 2004, 6:44 PM
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My family seems to be supportive. They think I'm crazy, but they know I am safe. I think that if your parents have a hard time with it, just don't offer info unless they ask. I know in other aspects of my life my parents don't know everything. Some things are just better left un-said ya know :wink: Hope that helps.
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reprieve
Feb 2, 2004, 6:49 PM
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My parents actually worry about me staying out late more than climbing. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but at least they're cool with me hitting the gym/crag.
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cryder
Feb 2, 2004, 7:28 PM
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My Mom is soon to turn 60 and is actively mountaineering. She does some pretty hard corp stuff too. So that one is covered.
For the rest of my family, I don’t even mess around with the safety thing. Its really not safe in the areas I play in (winter single push alpine), and giving them that illusion will only make the reality check more bitter if I ever take a dirt nap. I am careful to point out that I'm not naive and reckless, but that what I do is inherently dangerous. That pretty much keeps my summer rock climbing under the radar and looking closer to sane.
I find it more helpful to remind them that at some point we all have to check out; some people leave a suite, and others a smoking room with re-runs of married with children on the telly.
- n -
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climbersoze
Feb 2, 2004, 7:29 PM
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In reply to: How do you all deal with the worried people who love you?
Didn't read the entire thread... but I know this... I grew up without a father - my father died in a motorcycle accident when I was 3 - and recently I have considered taking up riding again... my mother wept when I talked about it with her.
She has always trusted my judgement, but her reason for being so upset about me getting back on a bike is because of the uncontrollable factors involved. "There are too many idiots on the road".
When it comes to other endeavors like climbing she, and anyone else who knows and loves me, understands the value I put on my life, and that I would not take any unnecessary risks... so they have adopted my climbing addiction with open arms, and all the support I could ask for. And they understand that climbing is a calculated risk, yes... but there are a lot of controllable factors, and that is what they trust... my judgement to make the intelligent decision when it comes to the controllables.
Of course, they don't get it (climbing)... but they don't get me, either. And they support me as the man I have become based on my judgement and my character, and my values.
In fact the only thing my mother never supported me on were my choices in women... figure that out. Dammit... I hate when she's right. :evil:
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shorty
Feb 2, 2004, 7:43 PM
Post #53 of 67
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I pretty much introduced my sisters and brothers-in-law to climbing, so they're OK with the sport. However, the parents are a different matter.
I tried to reduce their fears by learning from guides and experienced climbers. But Mom starting clipping and sending me articles about climbing accidents. So I invited them to watch my sister and I climb one weekend. Mom was too concerned about our safety to watch.
So I took a Wilderness First Responder course, and Mom thought this was great. Until a climbing accident claimed two lives, I barely escaped, and I was interview by TV and newspapers. More clipped articles in the mail.
Seemingly each time the situation calms down, something happens. Partners die somewhere, I get injured from falls ("Yes, Dad, those 22 stitches in the scalp did hurt."), I witness more death.
The bottom line is that my parents just don't like this game I play. Oh, they enjoy the pictures I bring back, like to see the places I climb, but probably wish I'd just stick to something more sedate, like softball or golf. However, they also realize that climbing is one of the things I do. They accept it, but will probably never like it.
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katydid
Feb 2, 2004, 8:21 PM
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I was quite surprised to find out, when I started climbing, that my dad had done a bit of climbing in the mid-1960s. So he's all over the climbing thing -- he'd probably go out and do it, too, but he's got horrible arthritis that keeps him from doing much along those lines.
My mom, OTOH, is terrified of heights, and always says "Don't fall" before I go out (I KNOW she means from a height without a rope, but it always cracks me up). I don't know that she particularly likes the idea of me climbing, but she trusts me and knows that my partners and I are anal about being safe, so I think she's given up on telling her 32-year-old daughter what to do (unless it has to do with my hair, but that's another story :roll:).
I'm taking Mom to Smith Rock sometime in the early summer so she can see my stomping grounds. Looking at that big ol' headwall isn't going to make her feel any better, but at least she can get a better idea of what I do by watching me do it.
k.
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stewart
Feb 2, 2004, 9:19 PM
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My parents are fine with it, they were both fairly outdoorsy (in their time) and had previously tried climbing a couple of times (back in the 70s). For my last birthday, my mum gave me cash for a pair of climbing shoes and my Dad gave me cash for "safety gear" (whatever that is) so they are obviously happy with me doing it. My sister thinks climbing is "cool" and she always asks to be taken climbing when she visits (luckily she lives 6000 miles away, so that's not often :wink: )
Now my fiancee, that's a completely different matter. She gets vertigo standing on a chair (no kidding!) She is, sort-of, happy with me going to climbing gyms but really doesn't like me climbing on rock. She pretty much knows all my climbing partners very well, and when I do climb outdoors she insists that certain "sensible" people are there. (Of course, her idea of "sensible" is based on how people behave when we go drinking and that doesn't actually correlate at all with how safe people are when climbing!) She definitely doesn't want to see photos of me climbing!
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litleclimberchick
Feb 2, 2004, 10:30 PM
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my mother hates the idea that i climb, especially when i come home injured :) , but she also knows that she can't stop me from doing something i love this much. i can't expect her to understand what i do so i usually try to avoid the subject when i am talking with her. the rest of my family just thinks that i'm crazy, but that isn't really anything new. :wink:
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mistymountainhop
Feb 2, 2004, 10:44 PM
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in my family the rents would rather have me not tell them what i do. my dad is a paranoid insurance agent, and he always has some scary story to tell me. once when i showed him a smaller craig i climb at he was freaked and told me i should take up a better hobby like birdwatching (yes, birdwatching), now i dont think they even know i climb anymore
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jt512
Feb 2, 2004, 10:49 PM
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In reply to: take them climbing and show them how cautious you are
Cautious? A non-climber is not going to perceive climbing as a "cautious" activity.
-Jay
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jt512
Feb 2, 2004, 11:02 PM
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In reply to: I tell them if I'm going to die I want to die on the rocks.
Wow. I'll bet that reassured them.
-Jay
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scubasnyder
Feb 2, 2004, 11:49 PM
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My family respects the fact that I climb, but there is some who say that I will die, and i just tell them you can die doing anything
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moabbeth
Feb 3, 2004, 1:02 AM
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My folks know how happy climbing makes me....and like any great parents, if their kid is really happy doing something, that's all that matters to them. My mom is terribly acrophobic yet she's cool when I e-mail her pics of what I was climbing (even though I don't think she ever wants to see it for herself in person). And my dad is in his mid 60's and still plays league volleyball 3 nights a week like he has most of my life so my mom understands my passion towards an activity like climbing...cause my dad has it with volleyball. But dad would love to see me climb sometime. One of these days.....
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hstewart
Feb 3, 2004, 1:39 AM
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My mother keeps telling me to take up needlepoint. I'm thinking of taking a hoop and needle up my next pitch and having my partner snap a picture of me doing cross-stitch at a hanging belay. I figured that would shut her up.
But in all seriousness, my parents have been 100% supportive of me finding my passion. They just don't want to see it.
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wandt
Feb 3, 2004, 1:49 AM
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I've found that the easiest way to keep the folks off my back is just to tell them everything that happened. Just tell most of it in a sarcastic tone of voice, and even though the information is 100% accurate, they won't believe it.
ie. "Mark and I went bigwalling yesterday, Mom. It was fun, [open] except that we were running a little late so we decided to simul-solo the last 4 or 5 pitches. We don't know exactly how far because we didn't have ropes on, but probably quite a ways. [close] What's for dinner?
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mazzystr
Feb 3, 2004, 2:21 PM
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Lets see...
1) My dad & stepmom dont really support anything i do. i'm like the bad apple in the family. Being middle child of 5, I'm just tolerated at family functions. i'm the only one who doesnt want to marry, have 2.3kids and own a house with a white picket fence.
2) My mom worries but likes the change its brought about in me. Her and her boyfriend are coming to Nelson Rock Preserve to watch me climb in April. I'm very excited about that.
3) My grandparents go both ways. My grandpa says I'm just a crazy kid that needs to grow up, needs to get some discipline, needs to join the Army and be a man. My grandma tells him to shutup and is very supportive to anything I do. I explained one day for about 3hours on the safety and the dangers. Shes happy to see how happy I am.
3) My sisters dont think one way or another about it. theyre both wrapped up in their boyfriends to care much about anything else.
4) My brothers think its wussy sport since theyre into hockey and basketball. I've always been "uncoordinated". Then they try to mess me with me. Were all 30ish and still fight around with each other. I hold my ground now. They dont like that now that theyre out-of-shape middle aged men.
So theres some support for me family-wise.
-Chris
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markc
Feb 3, 2004, 4:31 PM
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I've been following this thread with interest. I guess I've taken my family's support for granted. I've had trouble nailing down why no one in my family has an issue with climbing, and I came up with a couple thoughts:
1. My father and grandfather are both retired firefighters. My family coped with a certain degree of risk others may not have experienced. My dad used to ride motorcycles, as well. Risk and fun with risk involved aren't new concepts.
2. I've worked as a chimney sweep, which is also a hazardous profession. I didn't have the luxury of saying "looks nasty out" the way I can with climbing. I think my family understands climbing isn't the most dangerous thing I've ever done.
3. I wasn't the best kid growing up, and I was the source of some concern. Since then, my folks don't really sweat the little things. They know I enjoy climbing and try to manage the risk as much as I can. They enjoy learning about climbing, checking out gear, etc. Both of my bothers have been out once or twice, but haven't been hooked. Some day maybe dad will try it.
Truth be told, some people's parents ought to be concerned about them. I've seen some sketchy things out there. Some climbers really ought to take up bird watching.
mark
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hex
Feb 3, 2004, 5:01 PM
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yeah both my parents used to climb, my dad more so... they know what is involved and they trust me to make sound judgments about the conditions.
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rory
Feb 3, 2004, 5:55 PM
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My dad is cool with it. He used to climb in the early '70's, and did a bunch of stuff in Clear Creek Canyon in Colorado. We share stories a lot, and I've clipped into a few of his old pitons and bolts, and that is a real trip. He also took me to J-Tree for spring break when I was in high school. My mom, on the other hand wants to know nothing about my adventures, other than that I came back in one piece.
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