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theooze
May 22, 2003, 3:58 PM
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I mean, I don't mope around, I have up days and down days like anyone. I'm privileged, now living in a new townhouse in a new, enjoyable neighborhood. Thousands of acres of farmland just disappeared under it, but this is the state of the art in US middle-class home environments.
I have great family and friends. We're all safe, well-fed and reasonably secure. Hell, I don't even have to work a regular job.
Still, it's hard to remember any times in my life when I truly felt content.
They launch you into school, crowding way too many kids together, and you're forced to cope. Years go by. You work toward getting laid in a highly competitive environment. High school is some stressful sh*t.
College and post-grad - even though you had to work and think, that's probably when many of us are most free. If I was ever completely relaxed and unstressed, it was during college and law school breaks. All the time in the world to do what I wanted. Still, there were women to deal with. :D
You're at the absolute peak of your physical and mental powers. When school ends, you have to go out and make a living. Demonstrate your ability to rake in money, one way or another. To prove your worthiness as a mate, and so on.
You have to pour a massive chunk of your vitality into a career and keep the cash flowing for at least the next fifty years or so.
That's the price we pay for this secure, protected, entertaining, suburban paradise.
I sit at this desk and ten million little f*cking things are nagging at me, calls to make, email, the need to sit down and actually read and write business stuff. It bores me silly and stresses me out at the same time. I waste precious time on stupid websites, writing stupid crap, playing mindless computer games, anything to escape the same sh*t different hour.
Sorry, folks. That was a "why not hit it a few more times" production.
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bakedjake
May 22, 2003, 4:03 PM
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I grew up in a different environment. No education, hard dibilitating work, but generally speaking I'm pretty happy. I pretty much have grown to live by the kiss philosophy... "keep it simple stoopid". Give me a fly rod, something to climb once in awhile and a happy contented daughter and I'm pretty much set.
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theooze
May 22, 2003, 4:07 PM
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I can see that. Debilitating is bad, but I wish I'd done a lot more real work. I've spent half my life in offices.
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theooze
May 22, 2003, 4:10 PM
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You just gotta git on with it, I reckon.
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bakedjake
May 22, 2003, 4:14 PM
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In reply to: I can see that. Debilitating is bad, but I wish I'd done a lot more real work. I've spent half my life in offices. |
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mwbtle
May 22, 2003, 4:14 PM
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I think that most of us only get flashes of true happiness.
Most of us don't like our jobs, or are bored by them, or whatever, and the grass is always greener on the other side. Unfortunately, most people don't follow their dreams or end up doing something that would make them happy more often than not. Some of us can't get paid to do what we really love to do. So its very easy to feel defeated and unhappy when you don't REALLY like what you do every day. And of course, that transfers over to your life outside of work.
I've always felt that the natural progression of things in america sucks...work hard to get into a good high school, work hard there to get into a good college, work hard there to get into a good grad school or to get a good job, so you can work hard there so you have enough money to retire on, and by that point, you are so worn out from all that working hard, that you just want a nap, so you retire and learn to play shuffleboard. Its just not a cool system at all.
But sometimes, I'm truly happy. It may only be for a few minutes...but its what keeps me going through the rest of it. edit to say that I'm never truly happy at work...I'm a weekend happy person.
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atg200
May 22, 2003, 4:17 PM
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in general i'm very happy. i'm a bit sad this week because of my rack being ripped off, but on the other hand i had a great weekend climbing in the black canyon of the gunnison and next weekend i am going climbing in the black hills needles. i have a good job making good money and i get to travel the world for work and climbing. i have a wonderful girlfriend that i can swing leads with(even give the hard pitches to). my brother is my favorite climbing partner, and i have other friends/partners who i can and have trusted with my life. not too bad - i can't complain.
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coach
May 22, 2003, 4:18 PM
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Stu,
Interesting question! Yes it seems like we spend so much of our life trying to get that All American dream, home, nice car, nice job, family and somewhere along the way forgot that we are supposed to have fun.
I guess the bottom line is that we all have to do what is best for us! What good is all that material stuff if you are not happy. We only get one shot at this life so make sure that it is your best shot! Look around you, drink in all the wonder and beauty that life has to give, savour those friends that are special to you and tell them so and do those things that make you happy!
Climb On
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mike
May 22, 2003, 4:22 PM
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Happy comes and goes. I have never been content, I don't think it's possible.
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bakedjake
May 22, 2003, 4:27 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: I grew up in a different environment. No education, hard dibilitating work, but generally speaking I'm pretty happy. I pretty much have grown to live by the kiss philosophy... "keep it simple stoopid". Give me a fly rod, something to climb once in awhile and a happy contented daughter and I'm pretty much set. BJ, how old is she :D |
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bakedjake
May 22, 2003, 4:35 PM
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i was at the grocey store and chatting with the young check out girl. somehow the topic got onto work and i saud "if only i could win the lottery, i'd buy a $500.00 pick up and travel the states". she said "i'd buy 2/two new cars". night and day... we spend all our lives chasing the american dream and before we know it it's gone. i had a friend in bisbee az. who lived in a adobe hut at the end of a canyon road and he said "f--k that man... whwn your old and crippled they can take your money, they can take your home... but they can't take away your experiences". i like that philosophy.. it's pretty much become a baked jake mantra.
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wildtrail
May 22, 2003, 4:43 PM
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Stu,
I am. Honestly. Yeah, things could be better. I could have financial security to the point I need not work or worry about bills or money. I could have my Diablo VT. I could have that yacht and the home in Aspen.
What do I have? A ton.
My wife
Family and friends who love me
Dreams, goals and aspirations
My RC friends I'm still dying to meet
Lots of fun
After that, I really don't need much else. After that, it's all material.
Oh, did I mention I'd like to have a home in Aspen? :D
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cerikpete
May 22, 2003, 4:49 PM
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I'm with Steve.
I've led a pretty fortunate life. I've worked pretty hard, but I've also been pretty comfy. So, when I get down, I try to look at all the good things I have.
Right now I'm in panic mode because I'm graduating in a few weeks and no one wants to hire me (anyone need a computer programmer?). But I keep trying to remember how lucky I am, and that helps. Doesn't completely eliminate the worry, but better than nothing.
But I realize what I have (everything that truly matters), and try to keep on trucking. I do get down sometimes, but usually I just go with the flow.
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theooze
May 22, 2003, 4:49 PM
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In reply to: in general i'm very happy. i'm a bit sad this week because of my rack being ripped off, but on the other hand i had a great weekend climbing in the black canyon of the gunnison and next weekend i am going climbing in the black hills needles. i have a good job making good money and i get to travel the world for work and climbing. i have a wonderful girlfriend that i can swing leads with(even give the hard pitches to). my brother is my favorite climbing partner, and i have other friends/partners who i can and have trusted with my life. not too bad - i can't complain.
Good women and good climbing definitely take the edge off.
When I was in my twenties I was into downhill skiing. I'd be able to schedule a couple decent trips a year. In between I'd think about it all the time, sneak a few minutes in with a ski mag, gaze at the posters and sh*t on my walls, study trail maps, call for conditions. It kept me sane.
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rubyslippers
May 22, 2003, 4:55 PM
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Ya know - its very hard to define happiness without using its opposite - if everyone were always happy and contented it would mean nothing. I think the thing that I feel most of the time is just bored. I think that its only after we deal with a tragedy that we understand how happy we were and that's a pretty depressing thought....
So, when boredom sets in I usually plan a trip or decide to try something new - or if I'm strapped for cash at the time - I just try to find the beauty in the moment and make the conscious decision to be happy.
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cerikpete
May 22, 2003, 4:58 PM
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Someone once said that if we got everything we wanted, right when we wanted it (like snap your fingers and it appears), then we wouldn't be living.
Part of life is overcoming obstacles and tragedies. And sometimes that makes us happy. As climbers we realize this. If we could snap our fingers and be at the top of K2, that would be nice for the view, but where is the sense of accomplishment? That is what makes us happy.
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wildtrail
May 22, 2003, 5:00 PM
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In reply to: in general i'm very happy. i'm a bit sad this week because of my rack being ripped off......
Andy,
I'm very sorry to hear that. :cry:
Even in our small community, we can't always trust each other. That's a shame. :cry:
Good to hear other things are positive for you. Look on the bright side...Aconcagua. :wink:
Steve
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mickymac1
May 22, 2003, 5:08 PM
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Is anyone happy?
All the time!! Especially when climbing, or eating a bowl of icecream!!! :D
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lynnie
May 22, 2003, 5:15 PM
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im with you on the ice cream. :D
but in truth i think there is this quotation that makes the most sense:
"the harder you work, the luckier you get."
its good to be healthy. yes. and have family, yes. but please please please could someone let me into grad school? you'd think i was asking these admissions committees to give up their first born children. all i want is to go to grad school!
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mickymac1
May 22, 2003, 5:21 PM
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In reply to: im with you on the ice cream. :D
A girl after my own heart!! :D
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rrrADAM
May 22, 2003, 5:23 PM
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Good thread Stu...
About 14 1/2 years ago I was homeless and lived in a park to due IV drug addiction. Been clean and sober since Oct 23rd, 1988, and it's been a spiritual journey since then.
I remember being a kid in Elementary school, and feeling like I didn't fit in then... All the other kids seemed to interact so well, but for me it was a chore. Drugs eased those feelings quite a bit, but at the expence of me becoming a social retard. Foster homes and juvinile hall only added to my sense of not "belonging", and taught me that aggression was a tool to get what I want.
To make a very long story short, I define "spirituality" as knowing one's place in the world, or their purpose... Being comfortable in one's own skin. I found mine at around 5 years clean... To help addicts get clean if they want to, and to continually grow "on the inside". If I can not hurt anyone, learn something, and if possible help someone, then I had a good day. I'm generous to those who need help, and unfortunately, "no good deed goes unpunished", so I have been punished quite a bit, as there are many "takers" in the world. But that generosity has come back to me 2 fold... When I am generous, I am rewarded, when I am stingy, I am always wanting more.
I remember, not so long ago, that I would always rate myself against others... Better than, or worse than. I would trade places with many people at that time, since I was judging my insides by the outsides of others. This was ego, and only served to add to a sense of not belonging. Empathy and humility has taught me that I am no better or worse than anyone, but maybe just different, as we are all different.
Now, if I could trade places with anyone, I would not, where as before I would do it in a heartbeat.
I used to think that if I only had "that car, that chick, that job, etc...", but I realized that it is the small things in life that matter, not the big things. It's not realizing major life goals that count, as the satisfaction ebbs once it is attained, but the ability to apreciate the small things gives one satisfaction every day. I know... Like I said, I was homeless, and unemployable 14 1/2 years ago, and in that time I've gotten a home worth over $275K, and will buy an addidtional house every two years for the next 8 years till I can retire on rental income. I hace a job that pays really good $$$, and allows me to travel and climb all over the country, but I turn down bigger paying jobs because I like the time off, and don't want the change in lifestyle. I don't want to be rich, but well off, and have all my current and future needs met. There is nothing that I want right now, and have not wanted anything in the last 8 years, as all my wants are met. Because I stopped wanting THINGS.
Point is, I could lose all this, and still be happy, as the physical things are not important to me now, friends and family are. I enjoy getting home fromm a job, and having all my friends go out of their wayto come see me, and to know that I was missed. I enjoy being able to take a walk in my neighborhood, and have my neighbors ask how long I am home for, or what I have climbed. I enjoy walking by the park near my house and watching the little kids playing T-Ball, they hit the ball, and run to 2ndbase over the pitchers mound... They don't know what they are doing, but are having fun, and I get to see and enjoy the experience.
Eye Opener... Most people do not even know the first name of their great grand parents (who reading this does?), meaning that chances are when I am gone, my own offspring wont know my name in 3 more generations.
I had a friend who got her Doctorin in Pyscholgy, and she did an internship at an old people's home where they were terminally ill... She told me how the rich died alone, as they spent their lives trying to attain wealth, and passed those values on to their kids, so when they were dying, the kids were fighting over who was going to inherit the wealth. But those who placed family and friends over wealth died in the company of many friends and family.
We have just one shot here on this Earth, and if we do not make the most of it, and enjoy as much as possible, we are cutting ourselves short. Think about it... We are born, sentenced to school till we are 18 then slave for $$$ till we are 65, then what ??? That means that 1/3rd of our life we are sleeping, 1/3rd working, and 1/3rd for enjoyment... Better to work at something you enjoy, so that in your waking life you are enjoying it.
If anyone is not happy and content, they are not doing it right. If anyone would rather trade places with another, then they are not doing it right. We are all responsible to find our "purpose", because without one, we are just walking around lost and aimless.
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theooze
May 22, 2003, 5:27 PM
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Happy wasn't the right word. I kinda meant like right now, while you're sitting at a computer.
I just think the way the vast majority of people live is so f*cked. I just want out of here.
Actually, I have plenty to be happy about. This house is actually a step down for us, and we're only renting it for a year. Then it's all Pendleton County, WV, all the time. The culmination of a 5-year plan. Getting pretty close now. Hope I'm not too sick and tired to make the most of it.
Meanwhile, just gotta keep tieing up loose ends. And some decent weather would help, so I can make some cash at Nelson.
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atg200
May 22, 2003, 5:38 PM
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steve - it wasn't a climber who stole the gear. a senseless breakin, and a very nice rack is probably on the way to the country landfill.
aconcagua wasn't that happy - i had to bail with pulmonary edema. on the other hand, it did cement a hell of a friendship with a partner who i credit with keeping me alive. plus easter island was cool.
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rrrADAM
May 22, 2003, 5:38 PM
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Yea Stu... I'm happy and content right now, as I sit at my computer. I'm killing time waiting for the neice visiting from NC to get ready so we can go rent kyaks and paddle around the bay today. I'm also trying to get some users interested in going to Bishop this weekend. As I type, I am watering the flowers in my backyard.
At this time, there is nothing I would rather be doing.
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