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gqsmooth
Oct 12, 2007, 7:35 PM
Post #30801 of 97182
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nilcarborundum wrote: tripperjm wrote: epoch wrote: A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family moves back a little. The mother pulls out a bible and starts quoting the red verses that Jesus spoke in the new testament, and The father gives a nod to his 4 year old daughter. She lays down and takes off her Osh Kosh B'gosh overalls and purple Hello Kitty panties and spreads her legs open. The 6 year old son takes off his Elmo jogging pants and his Dukes of Hazzard underwear and kneals in front of his sister and puts his face right in front of her silky, light pink cunt. She starts to pee into his mouth and the son starts jacking off. The large family collie runs behind the son and starts licking his ass. The father walks behind the dog, lifts the dog's tail up, and spits in his asshole. Then the father pulls out his dick and guides it into the dog's ass. The mother gets her cue, puts the bible on her daughter's chest and takes off her dress and painties. She squats over her daughter's mouth, and even with her lower intestine infection, pushes out the raunchiest, foul smelling, blood filled liquid shit the family had ever seen. The daughter starts to gag and cough and shits onto her brother who now has his hand in her petit asshole. The smell of his mother's infected bowel reaches the son and he starts to vomit all over the bible and his sister's twat. The father smells it and starts throwing up on the dog while at the same time pulling his dick out and cumming on his son's back. The mother turns around and lays across her daughter, hands the bible to her husband, sticks a straw into her daughter's tiny cunt and starts slurping up her son's vomit. The dog walks around to the back of the mother and starts chewing on the mother's stringy clit. The son gets up, put's both of his fists into his mother's pussy and stretches it open and the dog puts his head up inside her. The daughter stands up, licks her dad's cum off of her brother's back, sucks off the dog, and jams a pencil in her pussy until she starts to bleed profusely. The father stands up, punches his son in his tiny balls, and takes the other end of the pencil that is in his daughter and jams it into his pee hole while fucking her. He starts singing "Kumbaya My Lord" while ripping out pages of the bible. Then he chokes his daughter into unconsciousness and throws her lifeless body at the talent agent. The rest of the family looks up with great smiles while standing in the blood, shit, vomit, and cum, and yells, "Hallelujah!!!!" For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!" You are a sick, sick man! I liked it though.... so something must be terribly wrong with me. Epoch I would assume you have seen the movie/documentary about the aristocrats. If not, its well worth the price of admission. Its been awhile, but I think it was Gary Shandling's version that almost made me piss myself.
it was bob sagat's version. they drew his out throughout the whole movie and it made all the better....
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caughtinside
Oct 12, 2007, 7:35 PM
Post #30802 of 97182
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NSFW wrote: nilcarborundum wrote: tripperjm wrote: epoch wrote: A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family moves back a little. The mother pulls out a bible and starts quoting the red verses that Jesus spoke in the new testament, and The father gives a nod to his 4 year old daughter. She lays down and takes off her Osh Kosh B'gosh overalls and purple Hello Kitty panties and spreads her legs open. The 6 year old son takes off his Elmo jogging pants and his Dukes of Hazzard underwear and kneals in front of his sister and puts his face right in front of her silky, light pink cunt. She starts to pee into his mouth and the son starts jacking off. The large family collie runs behind the son and starts licking his ass. The father walks behind the dog, lifts the dog's tail up, and spits in his asshole. Then the father pulls out his dick and guides it into the dog's ass. The mother gets her cue, puts the bible on her daughter's chest and takes off her dress and painties. She squats over her daughter's mouth, and even with her lower intestine infection, pushes out the raunchiest, foul smelling, blood filled liquid shit the family had ever seen. The daughter starts to gag and cough and shits onto her brother who now has his hand in her petit asshole. The smell of his mother's infected bowel reaches the son and he starts to vomit all over the bible and his sister's twat. The father smells it and starts throwing up on the dog while at the same time pulling his dick out and cumming on his son's back. The mother turns around and lays across her daughter, hands the bible to her husband, sticks a straw into her daughter's tiny cunt and starts slurping up her son's vomit. The dog walks around to the back of the mother and starts chewing on the mother's stringy clit. The son gets up, put's both of his fists into his mother's pussy and stretches it open and the dog puts his head up inside her. The daughter stands up, licks her dad's cum off of her brother's back, sucks off the dog, and jams a pencil in her pussy until she starts to bleed profusely. The father stands up, punches his son in his tiny balls, and takes the other end of the pencil that is in his daughter and jams it into his pee hole while fucking her. He starts singing "Kumbaya My Lord" while ripping out pages of the bible. Then he chokes his daughter into unconsciousness and throws her lifeless body at the talent agent. The rest of the family looks up with great smiles while standing in the blood, shit, vomit, and cum, and yells, "Hallelujah!!!!" For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!" You are a sick, sick man! I liked it though.... so something must be terribly wrong with me. Epoch I would assume you have seen the movie/documentary about the aristocrats. If not, its well worth the price of admission. Its been awhile, but I think it was Gary Shandling's version that almost made me piss myself. Who the hell are you?
Another lurker unmasked!
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tripperjm
Oct 12, 2007, 7:36 PM
Post #30803 of 97182
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artm wrote: gqsmooth wrote: artm wrote: gqsmooth wrote: artm wrote: gqsmooth wrote: artm wrote: gqsmooth wrote: artm wrote: gqsmooth wrote: artm wrote: gqsmooth wrote: artm wrote: tripperjm wrote: zeke_sf wrote: gqsmooth wrote: zeke_sf wrote: Zeke, or the artist formerly known as the weke, has not received compensation for being weke, so he does not plan on paying those weke enough to try and capitalize on said wekeness. Those who choose to pursue this matter further will be court-ordered to stay at least 3 threads away from Zeke until such time they are no longer an oompah loompah. wtf? no one gives "weke" here crap about ground up? Art's the resident tattle tale, Donny. If you haven't noticed, crap rolls down my mullet and into the mouths of buttlickers like you. Now that's signature material. It sure is!  If his biggest claim to fame is being the proxy for shit you guys dish out, well then he's got bigger problems then my alleged man-crush.... You need to stop stalking zeke Hey, he started stalking me. Remember? zeke_sf wrote: I own being Zeke, so step Donny! zeke_sf wrote: You are so Donny and you don't even know it! and so on and so on....jus' sayin, besides i was getting hip to the lingo here, like NSFW said.... He wasn't stalking you he was just hazing you which is what we do to all n00bs to the brent_e thread. You on the other hand are stalking him, which I guess is okay because he is stalking me. noooo shit? is that was he was doing....ach, i can finally sleep tonight.... artm wrote: which I guess is okay because he is stalking me. the whole "the enemy of my enemy is my friend thing? No it's more like a "the enemy of my enemy is still my enemy, only I'm going to refrain from ripping your head off and fucking your gaping neck hole until my enemy is dead" thing. Hope you're cool wit dat. oh, you let me know when he's dead then, so i can be on the lookout then It will be shortly after we kill CI and extract the HBeez from his deceased rectum, zeke will myteriously disappear from the face of the earth. That will be your only warning sign. r3vulashun5 scr1ptur3 Profoc33z that's my high note, i'm outie How interesting, my belly button is an innie. I wonder what the percentage of innie's to outie's is?
Can you two just get a room together? Cause I don't need to hear all about your gay relationship.
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 7:36 PM
Post #30804 of 97182
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Registered: Jul 25, 2007
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n00bs are coming out of the woodwork.
Is this your doing Sweet Tits?
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caughtinside
Oct 12, 2007, 7:36 PM
Post #30805 of 97182
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 7:36 PM
Post #30806 of 97182
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NSFW wrote: n00bs are coming out of the woodwork. Is this your doing Sweet Tits?
aPTFTW! Woo wooo wooo!
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 7:36 PM
Post #30807 of 97182
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caughtinside
Oct 12, 2007, 7:37 PM
Post #30808 of 97182
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gqsmooth
Oct 12, 2007, 7:43 PM
Post #30810 of 97182
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NSFW wrote: n00bs are coming out of the woodwork. Is this your doing Sweet Tits?
negs man. he's not with me. i came in here because it was just starting up when i became a lurker a year and a half ago...invite him in, i'll practice my n00b bashing on him....
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zeke_sf
Oct 12, 2007, 7:44 PM
Post #30811 of 97182
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Registered: Apr 28, 2006
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gqsmooth wrote: NSFW wrote: n00bs are coming out of the woodwork. Is this your doing Sweet Tits? negs man. he's not with me. i came in here because it was just starting up when i became a lurker a year and a half ago...invite him in, i'll practice my n00b bashing on him....
the viscious cycle continues
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 7:45 PM
Post #30812 of 97182
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Registered: Jul 25, 2007
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gqsmooth wrote: NSFW wrote: n00bs are coming out of the woodwork. Is this your doing Sweet Tits? negs man. he's not with me. i came in here because it was just starting up when i became a lurker a year and a half ago...invite him in, i'll practice my n00b bashing on him....
*sniff* ...they grow up so fast.
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 7:47 PM
Post #30813 of 97182
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zeke_sf wrote: gqsmooth wrote: NSFW wrote: n00bs are coming out of the woodwork. Is this your doing Sweet Tits? negs man. he's not with me. i came in here because it was just starting up when i became a lurker a year and a half ago...invite him in, i'll practice my n00b bashing on him.... the viscious cycle continues
I'd like to think we're preparing them for the cold and harsh reality of the real world.
Unfortunately the real world for most people consist of parking their flabby asses on the couch and living vicariously through any dozen or so of their favorite reality TV show. So there goes my theory.
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nilcarborundum
Oct 12, 2007, 7:47 PM
Post #30814 of 97182
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NSFW wrote: NSFW wrote: n00bs are coming out of the woodwork. Is this your doing Sweet Tits? aPTFTW! Woo wooo wooo!
It's slow at work. FWIW, the BET is about the only thing I get on RC to read. Occasionally its worth following some JT thread that rambles for pages about how stupid everyone else is, but even as a beginner you can only read so many grigri vs atc or what shoes, rope, chalkbag, dildo can I use thread.
Not that you need encouragement, but you can save this for the next time DDT bans one of you: When I used RC.com solely to find partners, I logged on once every month or so. Now I get on three or four times a week to try and keep up with this thread. Meatbombz make me laugh my ass off, and its refreshing to know that there are others out there who flip between PBR, Jameson, and microbrews with no thought about it. I thought my GF and I might be the only ones who keep all three in the house on a regular basis.
And Doc: I working on the Long's Peak red point as well...began it three times when I lived in Denver, never saw the top.
Enough of the lovein.
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nilcarborundum
Oct 12, 2007, 7:50 PM
Post #30815 of 97182
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In reply to: it was bob sagat's version. they drew his out throughout the whole movie and it made all the better....
Oh yeah. I remember thinking that it might be the only time I ever laughed at the guy
(This post was edited by nilcarborundum on Oct 12, 2007, 7:53 PM)
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 7:51 PM
Post #30816 of 97182
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Sweet, only 121 posts from overtaking D_A. What a sucka.
I'm sure if I really applied myself I could do that before the weekend.
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jgloporto
Oct 12, 2007, 7:51 PM
Post #30817 of 97182
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Registered: Aug 8, 2006
Posts: 5522
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nilcarborundum wrote: NSFW wrote: NSFW wrote: n00bs are coming out of the woodwork. Is this your doing Sweet Tits? aPTFTW! Woo wooo wooo! It's slow at work. FWIW, the BET is about the only thing I get on RC to read. Occasionally its worth following some JT thread that rambles for pages about how stupid everyone else is, but even as a beginner you can only read so many grigri vs atc or what shoes, rope, chalkbag, dildo can I use thread. Not that you need encouragement, but you can save this for the next time DDT bans one of you: When I used RC.com solely to find partners, I logged on once every month or so. Now I get on three or four times a week to try and keep up with this thread. Meatbombz make me laugh my ass off, and its refreshing to know that there are others out there who flip between PBR, Jameson, and microbrews with no thought about it. I thought my GF and I might be the only ones who keep all three in the house on a regular basis. And Doc: I working on the Long's Peak red point as well...began it three times when I lived in Denver, never saw the top. Enough of the lovein.
This is what I'm talking about... There are already people out there following this meatbomb thing. We need to resume the merchandizing discussion.
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 7:53 PM
Post #30818 of 97182
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Registered: Jul 25, 2007
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nilcarborundum wrote: NSFW wrote: NSFW wrote: n00bs are coming out of the woodwork. Is this your doing Sweet Tits? aPTFTW! Woo wooo wooo! It's slow at work. FWIW, the BET is about the only thing I get on RC to read. Occasionally its worth following some JT thread that rambles for pages about how stupid everyone else is, but even as a beginner you can only read so many grigri vs atc or what shoes, rope, chalkbag, dildo can I use thread. Not that you need encouragement, but you can save this for the next time DDT bans one of you: When I used RC.com solely to find partners, I logged on once every month or so. Now I get on three or four times a week to try and keep up with this thread. Meatbombz make me laugh my ass off, and its refreshing to know that there are others out there who flip between PBR, Jameson, and microbrews with no thought about it. I thought my GF and I might be the only ones who keep all three in the house on a regular basis. And Doc: I working on the Long's Peak red point as well...began it three times when I lived in Denver, never saw the top. Enough of the lovein.
Wow, he actually seems like a decent guy.
Sorry Sweet Tits, you're back on the bottom of the totem pole again. The shortest escape from the bottom in recorded history.
(This post was edited by NSFW on Oct 12, 2007, 7:53 PM)
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 7:55 PM
Post #30819 of 97182
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Registered: Jul 25, 2007
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nilcarborundum wrote: It's slow at work. FWIW, the BET is about the only thing I get on RC to read. Occasionally its worth following some JT thread that rambles for pages about how stupid everyone else is, but even as a beginner you can only read so many grigri vs atc or what shoes, rope, chalkbag, dildo can I use thread.
This is so getting cross-posted in the Coffee Thread.
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gqsmooth
Oct 12, 2007, 7:57 PM
Post #30820 of 97182
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Registered: Jun 10, 2005
Posts: 572
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nilcarborundum wrote: NSFW wrote: NSFW wrote: n00bs are coming out of the woodwork. Is this your doing Sweet Tits? aPTFTW! Woo wooo wooo! It's slow at work. FWIW, the BET is about the only thing I get on RC to read. Occasionally its worth following some JT thread that rambles for pages about how stupid everyone else is, but even as a beginner you can only read so many grigri vs atc or what shoes, rope, chalkbag, dildo can I use thread. Not that you need encouragement, but you can save this for the next time DDT bans one of you: When I used RC.com solely to find partners, I logged on once every month or so. Now I get on three or four times a week to try and keep up with this thread. Meatbombz make me laugh my ass off, and its refreshing to know that there are others out there who flip between PBR, Jameson, and microbrews with no thought about it. I thought my GF and I might be the only ones who keep all three in the house on a regular basis. And Doc: I working on the Long's Peak red point as well...began it three times when I lived in Denver, never saw the top. Enough of the lovein.
I don't want to bash him anymore either....
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 8:00 PM
Post #30821 of 97182
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Registered: Jul 25, 2007
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still a long way out on the PT
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caughtinside
Oct 12, 2007, 8:01 PM
Post #30822 of 97182
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NSFW wrote: nilcarborundum wrote: NSFW wrote: NSFW wrote: n00bs are coming out of the woodwork. Is this your doing Sweet Tits? aPTFTW! Woo wooo wooo! It's slow at work. FWIW, the BET is about the only thing I get on RC to read. Occasionally its worth following some JT thread that rambles for pages about how stupid everyone else is, but even as a beginner you can only read so many grigri vs atc or what shoes, rope, chalkbag, dildo can I use thread. Not that you need encouragement, but you can save this for the next time DDT bans one of you: When I used RC.com solely to find partners, I logged on once every month or so. Now I get on three or four times a week to try and keep up with this thread. Meatbombz make me laugh my ass off, and its refreshing to know that there are others out there who flip between PBR, Jameson, and microbrews with no thought about it. I thought my GF and I might be the only ones who keep all three in the house on a regular basis. And Doc: I working on the Long's Peak red point as well...began it three times when I lived in Denver, never saw the top. Enough of the lovein. Wow, he actually seems like a decent guy. Sorry Sweet Tits, you're back on the bottom of the totem pole again. The shortest escape from the bottom in recorded history.
Man that was awesome!! I can't believe that the BET is actually out there, touching lives, man!
And yeah, that post catapulted him right over sweet tits.
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 8:01 PM
Post #30823 of 97182
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Registered: Jul 25, 2007
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NSFW wrote: still a long way out on the PT
which is good, cause the internet is running really fucking slow at the moment
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caughtinside
Oct 12, 2007, 8:01 PM
Post #30824 of 97182
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NSFW wrote: still a long way out on the PT
but closing fast.
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NSFW
Oct 12, 2007, 8:01 PM
Post #30825 of 97182
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NSFW wrote: NSFW wrote: still a long way out on the PT which is good, cause the internet is running really fucking slow at the moment
And I'm sure Art is lurking... or stalking. Either or
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Re: [nilcarborundum] 24/7 "Where's your crown King Nothing?" Coffee.
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