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booger
Sep 13, 2006, 3:15 PM
Post #426 of 2461
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I think it totally depends on the relationship. Paolo and I are both so laid back... we're horizontal. So we have very little friction on or off the wall. When we do have disagreements, we are both patient enough to not let them interfere with the moment.
Just this past weekend, we once again found ourselves in an argument we've been having for a few months... The Backpack Affair. Basically, I came to a new philosophy this year (thanks to Map's boyfriend) on climbing very light and totally self-sufficient. So, I take my little camelback with my emergency kit (includes something waterproof/warm) on every climb. It's small and light, it's everything I need (including a helmet for my back... after watching Steve deck on that ledge, I'm attached to the spine-helmet idea). Now Paolo comes along and refuses to lead with a backpack. That means I now have to stuff all his crap (he's a big boy, he has big boy crap) into my teensy camelback and we swap it over at belays. Totally annoying, not my philosophy. Carry your own shit. If you're not willing to carry it, well... neither am I!
Anyway, we still got through the climb of the day and then discussed it civilly that evening. No resolution yet, but... we're focusing on bouldering until VDM next month so it doesn't matter.
Sorry... right... my point... I love climbing with my SO. But it's not just about the climbing - I love that I found somebody willing to pack up with me and disappear to the forest on a moment's notice. Somebody just as comitted to an adventurous lifestyle, no matter what the adventure. But if you're a volatile personality, it may not be a good idea - that is, if you can't hold your tongue until the end of the climb and then talk reasonably about the issue. 15 pitches of badering and bitching are NOT fun for anybody.
ps- Anybody willing to weigh in on my little philosophical meltdown? Am I totally wrong here?
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adnix
Sep 13, 2006, 3:19 PM
Post #427 of 2461
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In reply to: ok, here is a serious question for you - do you think having a (sexual/sentimental) relationship w your partner is good/bad/neutral for the climbing?
I have a habit of exaggerating and eating my words all the time. Don't read my messages too strict. For example, I met my ex few months ago and was saying her I'll never want to mix climbing with relationships. Then in the next question she asked me with whom I was going to my next trip. I had to admit it was with this other girl. :D
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adnix
Sep 13, 2006, 3:26 PM
Post #428 of 2461
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In reply to: Anybody willing to weigh in on my little philosophical meltdown? Am I totally wrong here? |
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tisar
Sep 13, 2006, 3:36 PM
Post #429 of 2461
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Now, Taz, if Paolo or you had a sister, I might change my mind :wink:
On the backpack philosophy... I see both sides. While leading with a rucksack sucks, carrying tons of extra stuff does too... Maybe you can compromise on the amount? Kind of a 'you're not allowed to take more than I do' thing?
Dunno. On long but easy routes, I think your philosophy seems more teasing, whereas shorter, more difficult leads maybe favor Paolo's system...
- Daniel
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chrtur
Sep 13, 2006, 3:42 PM
Post #430 of 2461
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:shock:
We are getting serious discussions here?
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heiko
Sep 13, 2006, 8:05 PM
Post #431 of 2461
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In reply to: ok, here is a serious question for you - do you think having a (sexual/sentimental) relationship w your partner is good/bad/neutral for the climbing?
UA, here's my 2c...
First of all: sex-only relationship on an adult level with no hidden thoughts by either of the participants - no problem at all. A pretty rare thing however, usually one of the two freaks out at some point.
I've seen many "sentimental" couples climb together, especially since I've been living here in Italy (where it seems to be a natural law that women cannot be independent climbers, geez!). I observe one very sad trend: where in a relationship mutual understanding and support should be one of the main premises, I see nothing but bitching, whining, shouting and fighting! :shock: I don't dare analyze the reasons for that, but it's pretty clear that within many couples the respect thing gets switched off as soon as basic emotions come up, such as fear. No need to respect your partner, he/she's gonna be there anyway, right? So pour all your shit over him/her, I mean, in the end it's only his/her fault that you're here, right? :roll: Sick... these people definitely have lost perspective, they treat their loved ones worse than their average climbing partner...
There are a few notable exceptions, but seriously, the number is veeery low.
In reply to: And there's nothing worse than having relationship crap once you're supposed to go on some nerve wrecking climb.
Second that. When you can't concentrate on the climb, you're risking your partner's life. Period.
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cracklover
Sep 13, 2006, 8:11 PM
Post #432 of 2461
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In reply to: ok, here is a serious question for you - do you think having a (sexual/sentimental) relationship w your partner is good/bad/neutral for the climbing?
That's easy. I have very strong appetites. Sex\romance; climbing; and food. I like them in all combinations, but only after these three things are satisfied can I really enjoy the rest of my life. There's only so much time in a day, and only so much energy you can give to activities in your life and the people you share them with. So I feel it's best to combine these three things as closely as possible. Mmm, drizzled chocolate syrup...
What were we talking about?
Oh yea, how about looking at it from the more metaphysical level, rather than the practical. In climbing, you spend so time developing trust, communicating about tough things, and living through wonderful and terrible experiences - it's natural to both want to, and to be driven to, connect in an emotional way with your partner, if there is also an attraction there.
A third way of thinking about it - what's the alternative? My last long term relationship began its development just before I started climbing. My partner was not interested in climbing. As I became more and more serious about climbing, it really became a second relationship in my life. My passion for climbing was... passionate. And a passion outside of the relationship is going to have predictable results.
Last thought: climbers are hot! Where else do you find that blend of a fit body, a strong mind, an adventurous spirit, a good relationship with their own body - and how it moves and works, and a slightly more cosmopolitan outlook and a more counter-cultural outlook. I don't know about y'all, but to me that all adds up to freaking sexy!
GO
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cracklover
Sep 13, 2006, 10:16 PM
Post #434 of 2461
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In reply to: In reply to: Last thought: climbers are hot! {paraphrase - In Italy they're not.}
GO crosses Italy off list of places to live someday.
GO
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ambler
Sep 14, 2006, 12:43 AM
Post #435 of 2461
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Now that was a cool weekend! I came home with lots of good memories, from classic climbs to great scenery,
and Tuborg around the campfire. Thanks to Thomas, Rune and especially Anders for putting together this trip,
showing off the highlights of Kullen, and convincing me I ought to lead my share of steep cracks.
Flying home today, I looked through my slides and noticed there's blue water in almost every one.
Here are a few to complement Thomas' nice Finger Jam photo above.
Anders following Det Lodrette Riss (V+) above the waves.
http://im1.shutterfly.com/...000017108AbOWzdszbNh
Rune starts up the intimidating corner of Flagermusen (V+):
http://im1.shutterfly.com/...000017108AbOWzdszbNh
Thomas belaying high above the sea:
http://im1.shutterfly.com/...000017108AbOWzdszbNh
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tisar
Sep 14, 2006, 6:34 AM
Post #436 of 2461
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Registered: Jul 1, 2004
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In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: Last thought: climbers are hot! {paraphrase - In Italy they're not.} GO crosses Italy off list of places to live someday. GO
You obviously missed the 'taken' part. This is the point to get started at. :lol:
- Daniel
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heiko
Sep 14, 2006, 7:17 AM
Post #437 of 2461
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In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: Last thought: climbers are hot! {paraphrase - In Italy they're not.} GO crosses Italy off list of places to live someday. GO
If "living" includes dating, absolutely.
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booger
Sep 14, 2006, 7:29 AM
Post #438 of 2461
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Registered: May 23, 2003
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In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: Last thought: climbers are hot! {paraphrase - In Italy they're not.} GO crosses Italy off list of places to live someday. GO If "living" includes dating, absolutely.
Heiko (n) 1)A man looking for love in all the wrong places, 2) The conviction that love cannot be found in Italy because one invests too much time in the wrong women and not enough time waiting for the perfect one.
:D
I told you that you should let Sarah and I be in charge of your love life.
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chrtur
Sep 14, 2006, 8:23 AM
Post #439 of 2461
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Registered: Jun 7, 2005
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In reply to: Last thought: climbers are hot! Where else do you find that blend of a fit body, a strong mind, an adventurous spirit, a good relationship with their own body - and how it moves and works, and a slightly more cosmopolitan outlook and a more counter-cultural outlook. I don't know about y'all, but to me that all adds up to freaking sexy!
I am totally in with Heiko here, both in the climbers community and also my other passion of skiing I must be living on another planet :?
Here comes a short contribution to the matter.
The best solution for climbing together with girls is that they become very good close friends which results in doing a lot of fun stuff together. Directly when there are some more serious thougths it works out in very rare cases.
Here in Italy it is raining like mad today :cry:
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chrtur
Sep 14, 2006, 8:56 AM
Post #441 of 2461
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In reply to: In reply to: Here in Italy it is raining like mad today :cry: Heaven is crying about the sad subject we're discussing here :lol:
For me it is not a sad subject, do not see it in such a way in fact? It is reality and I was looking of quotes from my favorites Calvin and Hobbes
To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?
It's only work if somebody makes you do it
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chrtur
Sep 14, 2006, 8:57 AM
Post #442 of 2461
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Soon it is winter again :D
I'm looking for something that can deliver a 50-pound payload of snow on a small feminine target. Can you suggest something? Hello...?
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tisar
Sep 14, 2006, 9:11 AM
Post #443 of 2461
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Registered: Jul 1, 2004
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Okay, if complaining is the sport of the day...
After all I decided to get active concerning the dating game. Fortunatly (or not, depends on how fastidious you are) or company not only sells ringtones but also has a big online dating portal in Germany. Easy to get free access for me (can't believe someone actually pays for that), so I thought I'd give it a glance. Okay. Fill in profile with advantageous shots (of which are few, you bet) sqeeze some halfways witty, halfways cheesy bullshit out of the romance gland and off we go...
First mail I got was from a 20 year old girl near the Polish boarder. Sent me her mobile number right away. Asked me to call. I didn't. 20? WTF? (Two days later the profile was deleted, seemed to be a professional. How happy I am not to have fallen in love :roll:)
Second mail. 21. We're getting closer :? A girl from Essen, ca. 800km frm Berlin. She actually is nice, we chat every once in a while when I'm at work and she's at home.
Third mail. 36. Wait a second! What about the 22-35 year olds? Don't skip them all! Anyway. A whale, I swear, though on two legs. Ooooph, she just asked about going climbing. Maybe I can talk her into taking a class later... Money can't buy me love, but me climbing.
Lesson learned, gotta get active. Browsing profiles. Damn, this is supposed to be dating, not a sightseeing tour through the nearest psychatry, isn't it? Sort them out baby... switch to 'highest education: university'. Thought they at leaast would've taught them proper spelling and grammar. Nope. Same shit, just more boring...
Meanwhile, behind the fassades of this innocent looking bookstore...
Fourth mail. 35. Okay, I'll bite. Nice foto. Nice woman too. But I somehow think she's damn too serious. Looking for kids and stuff. Still, I write her back. Let's see, it's just three mails by now. But in the end... 35 means: Children now or never. Wouldn't fit my plans...
Further browsing. The mercy of blindness was just about to strike me, when I found her. Not just her, but HER! Oh goddess... 32, stunning beauty, I even found humour in her writings... spent hours of biting my lips, walking circles in my room, lighting candles for the creative-romantic atmosphere... wrote her.
Next day (and a bunch of 'virtual kisses' by the whole cast of Frankenstein's Heritage Part III - The Awakening) I got a nervous breakdown and half of a heart attack. She wrote back! Just a couple of lines to tell me she's drinking coffee and that her hair is a little longer now (she was bald on one of the pix) and that she's heading for the park now with her daughter (must be school age).
Now... I'd love to tell you the end of the story, but hopefully there wasn't one by now. We wrote back and forth and then I wrote her back again, but she wouldn't answer. Prob is (me dumpshit, bangs head against the monitor), I don't even know if I actually sent her anything 'cause I can't find it in my outbox again. That was Monday. I wrote her another time yesterday, explaining in my best words what (might have) happend, and now I'm sitting on glowing coals (a German proverb that is) waiting for an answer.
(Writing that had a cathartic virtue, thanks for reading...)
- Daniel
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stone_d_cologne
Sep 14, 2006, 9:37 AM
Post #445 of 2461
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In reply to: ps- Anybody willing to weigh in on my little philosophical meltdown? Am I totally wrong here?
just for the backpack question:
when you go for the hard stuff, leading with a backpack is no fun. as the sportclimber of the bunch: I'd always prefer to climb hard pitches without a pack. even without a helmet sometimes.
but on longer routes, where theres more gear involved and you may also go down in difficulty, you might carry your own backpack to save some fun for your second whatever relationship you might have towards him/her.
I think you could easily compromise here.
for the rest I totally go along with you.
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stone_d_cologne
Sep 14, 2006, 9:48 AM
Post #447 of 2461
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In reply to: Okay, if complaining is the sport of the day... After all I decided to get active concerning the dating game. Fortunatly (or not, depends on how fastidious you are) or company not only sells ringtones but also has a big online dating portal in Germany. Easy to get free access for me (can't believe someone actually pays for that), so I thought I'd give it a glance. Okay. Fill in profile with advantageous shots (of which are few, you bet) sqeeze some halfways witty, halfways cheesy s--- out of the romance gland and off we go... First mail I got was from a 20 year old girl near the Polish boarder. Sent me her mobile number right away. Asked me to call. I didn't. 20? WTF? (Two days later the profile was deleted, seemed to be a professional. How happy I am not to have fallen in love :roll:) Second mail. 21. We're getting closer :? A girl from Essen, ca. 800km frm Berlin. She actually is nice, we chat every once in a while when I'm at work and she's at home. Third mail. 36. Wait a second! What about the 22-35 year olds? Don't skip them all! Anyway. A whale, I swear, though on two legs. Ooooph, she just asked about going climbing. Maybe I can talk her into taking a class later... Money can't buy me love, but me climbing. Lesson learned, gotta get active. Browsing profiles. Damn, this is supposed to be dating, not a sightseeing tour through the nearest psychatry, isn't it? Sort them out baby... switch to 'highest education: university'. Thought they at leaast would've taught them proper spelling and grammar. Nope. Same s---, just more boring... Meanwhile, behind the fassades of this innocent looking bookstore... Fourth mail. 35. Okay, I'll bite. Nice foto. Nice woman too. But I somehow think she's damn too serious. Looking for kids and stuff. Still, I write her back. Let's see, it's just three mails by now. But in the end... 35 means: Children now or never. Wouldn't fit my plans... Further browsing. The mercy of blindness was just about to strike me, when I found her. Not just her, but HER! Oh goddess... 32, stunning beauty, I even found humour in her writings... spent hours of biting my lips, walking circles in my room, lighting candles for the creative-romantic atmosphere... wrote her. Next day (and a bunch of 'virtual kisses' by the whole cast of Frankenstein's Heritage Part III - The Awakening) I got a nervous breakdown and half of a heart attack. She wrote back! Just a couple of lines to tell me she's drinking coffee and that her hair is a little longer now (she was bald on one of the pix) and that she's heading for the park now with her daughter (must be school age). Now... I'd love to tell you the end of the story, but hopefully there wasn't one by now. We wrote back and forth and then I wrote her back again, but she wouldn't answer. Prob is (me s---, bangs head against the monitor), I don't even know if I actually sent her anything 'cause I can't find it in my outbox again. That was Monday. I wrote her another time yesterday, explaining in my best words what (might have) happend, and now I'm sitting on glowing coals (a German proverb that is) waiting for an answer. (Writing that had a cathartic virtue, thanks for reading...) - Daniel
good one! to be continued....
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tisar
Sep 14, 2006, 9:49 AM
Post #448 of 2461
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In reply to: In reply to: and now I'm sitting on glowing coals Geeeez Daniel! :wtf:
Okay, I'll promise to never write it again... :lol:
In reply to: You're living in Berlin and start using a damn dating website??? What can I say... one of my best friends just got married recently, to a woman he met on a dating website. :lol: Good luck... although the idea of finding someone via a database query is pretty weird for me. Where's the chemistry???
Actually this was supposed to be fun. And it is, if just in an odd and morbid way :roll: As I said, it's for free. And it won't keep me out of discos, parties, Salsa clubs...
Let's say I didn't give up on trad-finding a woman, but sports-finding is an option too (and bouldering would be buying the penthouse...).
- Daniel
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stone_d_cologne
Sep 14, 2006, 9:53 AM
Post #449 of 2461
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Registered: Jul 24, 2006
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In reply to: Paolo and I are both so laid back... we're horizontal.
so thats why you suck at climbing lately... :lol:
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booger
Sep 14, 2006, 9:59 AM
Post #450 of 2461
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Registered: May 23, 2003
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In reply to: In reply to: Paolo and I are both so laid back... we're horizontal. so thats why you suck at climbing lately... :lol:
:lol: Nah, the "sucking at climbing" bit is pretty ... how shall we say... permanant! :?
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