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carabiner96
Jan 9, 2008, 9:23 PM
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Thinking about getting the aforementioned band first and puuting a white sapphire in, maybe even just CZ. I care more about the band than the rock.
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climbs4fun
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Jan 9, 2008, 9:44 PM
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petsfed wrote: clausti wrote: Cubic zirconium is just as pretty as diamonds (honestly, who can tell the difference?) and they are so much cheaper. Easiest way to tell the difference between diamond and cubic zirconium? Throw 'em both in a fire. The one that survives? That's cubic zirconium.
It's actually a lot easier than that and can be done with the naked eye if you know what you are looking for.
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petsfed
Jan 9, 2008, 11:22 PM
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climbs4fun wrote: petsfed wrote: clausti wrote: Cubic zirconium is just as pretty as diamonds (honestly, who can tell the difference?) and they are so much cheaper. Easiest way to tell the difference between diamond and cubic zirconium? Throw 'em both in a fire. The one that survives? That's cubic zirconium. It's actually a lot easier than that and can be done with the naked eye if you know what you are looking for.
Yeah, the one with more imperfections tends to be the diamond.
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taino
Jan 9, 2008, 11:36 PM
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Ring story... heh.
My fiance wanted an engagement ring, yes - but she didn't want a diamond at all. She doesn't like the way diamonds in general are mined, to say nothing of conflict diamonds. Also, she's very firmly of the opinion that most people only care about the size of the rock - they all expect an engagement ring to be a diamond solitaire the size of your eyeball, and anything less is pointless.
What she wanted, was a sapphire. It's her birthstone (and mine, too), and she's always liked them.
However, I wanted to give her a diamond - not a solitaire, but something. I'm a bit traditional that way. So, I did some hunting around, and taking my lady's taste in jewelry into account, I had a ring custom-made for her. It has two small diamonds and a slightly larger sapphire, each on their own white gold band. The bands fit together, but aren't connected at all; they can rotate freely around her finger. The diamonds go on the outside, with the sapphire on the middle band; the stones sit on the outside of their bands so that they can slide over the other bands. It's not big or obtrusive so she can wear it and be confident it's not going to catch on something. It's also collectively wide enough that it' doesn't look odd on her hand (she has long fingers). I'd attach a picture, but it's on my other computer; I'll see if I can get one later.
The thing is, the gold is reclaimed, and the stones are lab-grown. No mining was done to get the stones - thereby avoiding Kaela's dislike of mined diamonds and the diamond industry in general. It cost more than I had expected (a bit over $2K), but it's worth it to me to know that there's no other ring like it - and it's not just another diamond solitaire ring.
Kaela loves it. Absolutely loves it. She doesn't wear it all the time (we're very active), but if she puts on jewelry, she puts on that ring first. That said, she's had people come up to her and excitedly demand to see her engagement ring, then not said anything and walked away when they didn't see a "rock". KimmyT has seen it, and can vouch that it's not bad at all. 
The point, 'biner, is as many other people have said: don't conform to what everyone else expects. Do what you want, even if the people who think they're closest to you say it's a bad idea.
T
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climbs4fun
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Jan 10, 2008, 12:57 AM
Post #56 of 105
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petsfed wrote: climbs4fun wrote: petsfed wrote: clausti wrote: Cubic zirconium is just as pretty as diamonds (honestly, who can tell the difference?) and they are so much cheaper. Easiest way to tell the difference between diamond and cubic zirconium? Throw 'em both in a fire. The one that survives? That's cubic zirconium. It's actually a lot easier than that and can be done with the naked eye if you know what you are looking for. Yeah, the one with more imperfections tends to be the diamond.
You can't always see the imperfections in a diamond with the naked eye. But when you look at the table (the flat part on top) of a cz, the edges almost appear rounded, not crisp. Look at one next to a real diamond and the differences will be extremely apparent. Or maybe having been a jeweler makes it more obvious to me.
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climb_eng
Jan 10, 2008, 1:33 AM
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Reminds me of the simpsons:
Here how it works, if your a witch then you fly to safety. If you're not a witch, you'll die an honourable Christian Death --- Chief Wiggum before tossing Marge off a cliff in one of those halloween specials.
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curt
Jan 10, 2008, 4:26 AM
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clausti wrote: ...I don't think I'm gonna have my dad walk me down the aisle, either, since the property transfer (kiss on the cheek, handshake, handing over) occurs at the end of that jaunt. Luckily, my dad is gonna do the wedding ceremony, so dropping that tradition doesn't exclude him from the ceremony...
Oh, all right--I'll do it then. 
Curt
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carabiner96
Jan 10, 2008, 5:10 AM
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clausti wrote: ...I don't think I'm gonna have my dad walk me down the aisle, either, since the property transfer (kiss on the cheek, handshake, handing over) occurs at the end of that jaunt. Luckily, my dad is gonna do the wedding ceremony, so dropping that tradition doesn't exclude him from the ceremony...
I guess I'm a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to weddings. My dad will hand me off, and I will be bawling my pretty little mascara ridden eyes out.
I will not wear heels, which my grandmother thinks is an absolute disgrace.
I'm now thinking about getting an opal, as it is both of ours birthstones.
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climbs4fun
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Jan 10, 2008, 5:13 AM
Post #60 of 105
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carabiner96 wrote: clausti wrote: ...I don't think I'm gonna have my dad walk me down the aisle, either, since the property transfer (kiss on the cheek, handshake, handing over) occurs at the end of that jaunt. Luckily, my dad is gonna do the wedding ceremony, so dropping that tradition doesn't exclude him from the ceremony... I guess I'm a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to weddings. My dad will hand me off, and I will be bawling my pretty little mascara ridden eyes out. I will not wear heels, which my grandmother thinks is an absolute disgrace. I'm now thinking about getting an opal, as it is both of ours birthstones.
I might rethink that biner. It's a very soft stone. Not tolerant to heat at all (no showers in it type not tolerant) and will shatter if tapped just right.
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carabiner96
Jan 10, 2008, 5:15 AM
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climbs4fun wrote: carabiner96 wrote: clausti wrote: ...I don't think I'm gonna have my dad walk me down the aisle, either, since the property transfer (kiss on the cheek, handshake, handing over) occurs at the end of that jaunt. Luckily, my dad is gonna do the wedding ceremony, so dropping that tradition doesn't exclude him from the ceremony... I guess I'm a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to weddings. My dad will hand me off, and I will be bawling my pretty little mascara ridden eyes out. I will not wear heels, which my grandmother thinks is an absolute disgrace. I'm now thinking about getting an opal, as it is both of ours birthstones. I might rethink that biner. It's a very soft stone. Not tolerant to heat at all (no showers in it type not tolerant) and will shatter if tapped just right.
Hm! Maybe a white sapphire then, or a very light emerald. I think that the super dark ones look kinda cheesy, so maybe a mint green emerald would be cool. Also amethyst would be nice, esp if it's from the home state.
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climbs4fun
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Jan 10, 2008, 6:37 AM
Post #62 of 105
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carabiner96 wrote: climbs4fun wrote: carabiner96 wrote: clausti wrote: ...I don't think I'm gonna have my dad walk me down the aisle, either, since the property transfer (kiss on the cheek, handshake, handing over) occurs at the end of that jaunt. Luckily, my dad is gonna do the wedding ceremony, so dropping that tradition doesn't exclude him from the ceremony... I guess I'm a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to weddings. My dad will hand me off, and I will be bawling my pretty little mascara ridden eyes out. I will not wear heels, which my grandmother thinks is an absolute disgrace. I'm now thinking about getting an opal, as it is both of ours birthstones. I might rethink that biner. It's a very soft stone. Not tolerant to heat at all (no showers in it type not tolerant) and will shatter if tapped just right. Hm! Maybe a white sapphire then, or a very light emerald. I think that the super dark ones look kinda cheesy, so maybe a mint green emerald would be cool. Also amethyst would be nice, esp if it's from the home state.
White sapphire is the most durable of the stones you have mentioned. Emeralds are also not very heat tolerant or hard stones, but more so than an opal.
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curt
Jan 10, 2008, 7:10 AM
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climbs4fun wrote: carabiner96 wrote: climbs4fun wrote: carabiner96 wrote: clausti wrote: ...I don't think I'm gonna have my dad walk me down the aisle, either, since the property transfer (kiss on the cheek, handshake, handing over) occurs at the end of that jaunt. Luckily, my dad is gonna do the wedding ceremony, so dropping that tradition doesn't exclude him from the ceremony... I guess I'm a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to weddings. My dad will hand me off, and I will be bawling my pretty little mascara ridden eyes out. I will not wear heels, which my grandmother thinks is an absolute disgrace. I'm now thinking about getting an opal, as it is both of ours birthstones. I might rethink that biner. It's a very soft stone. Not tolerant to heat at all (no showers in it type not tolerant) and will shatter if tapped just right. Hm! Maybe a white sapphire then, or a very light emerald. I think that the super dark ones look kinda cheesy, so maybe a mint green emerald would be cool. Also amethyst would be nice, esp if it's from the home state. White sapphire is the most durable of the stones you have mentioned. Emeralds are also not very heat tolerant or hard stones, but more so than an opal.
Diamonds are the hardest, rubies and sapphires are next hardest and are exactly the same thing (Al2O3) except for the impurities that determine the color. Emeralds (Beryl) are somewhat softer, etc.
Curt
(This post was edited by curt on Jan 10, 2008, 7:11 AM)
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climbs4fun
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Jan 10, 2008, 7:24 AM
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curt wrote: climbs4fun wrote: carabiner96 wrote: climbs4fun wrote: carabiner96 wrote: clausti wrote: ...I don't think I'm gonna have my dad walk me down the aisle, either, since the property transfer (kiss on the cheek, handshake, handing over) occurs at the end of that jaunt. Luckily, my dad is gonna do the wedding ceremony, so dropping that tradition doesn't exclude him from the ceremony... I guess I'm a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to weddings. My dad will hand me off, and I will be bawling my pretty little mascara ridden eyes out. I will not wear heels, which my grandmother thinks is an absolute disgrace. I'm now thinking about getting an opal, as it is both of ours birthstones. I might rethink that biner. It's a very soft stone. Not tolerant to heat at all (no showers in it type not tolerant) and will shatter if tapped just right. Hm! Maybe a white sapphire then, or a very light emerald. I think that the super dark ones look kinda cheesy, so maybe a mint green emerald would be cool. Also amethyst would be nice, esp if it's from the home state. White sapphire is the most durable of the stones you have mentioned. Emeralds are also not very heat tolerant or hard stones, but more so than an opal. Diamonds are the hardest, rubies and sapphires are next hardest and are exactly the same thing (Al2O3) except for the impurities that determine the color. Emeralds (Beryl) are somewhat softer, etc. Curt
Exactly. but she doesn't want a diamond, which is why I suggest the white sapphire as an alternative. Emeralds are actually more delicate than you would think. They do break rather easily and the reason they aren't so heat tolerant isn't because the stone is soft, it's because almost all natural (not lab created) emeralds are treated for color and heat will degrade the treatment exposing the injection sites, for lack of a better way of explaining it. I always hated setting emeralds in some settings because they would break so easily.
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granite_grrl
Jan 10, 2008, 12:52 PM
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carabiner96 wrote: clausti wrote: ...I don't think I'm gonna have my dad walk me down the aisle, either, since the property transfer (kiss on the cheek, handshake, handing over) occurs at the end of that jaunt. Luckily, my dad is gonna do the wedding ceremony, so dropping that tradition doesn't exclude him from the ceremony... I guess I'm a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to weddings. My dad will hand me off, and I will be bawling my pretty little mascara ridden eyes out. I will not wear heels, which my grandmother thinks is an absolute disgrace. I'm now thinking about getting an opal, as it is both of ours birthstones.
Both my parent's walked with me up the aisle. Never really thought of the sybolysim of them "giving" me away. It just kinda happened (Vegas wedding, no rehearsal, just kinda went with the flow).
I did wear heel. And I don't know WTF I'm going to do with white heels now. It was also an outside wedding, so during photos and such I'd periodically sink into the ground.
 
(sorry if the photo isn't showing up, pbase is a bit of a bitch sometimes, try using "show photo").
BTW - Nathan is wearing Prana pants and a Patagonia shirt. My shirt is a Prana halter. I have another one in purple, which I wear more while climbing 'cause it hides dirt better.
Clothes we'd never wear again seemed silly.
Oh hey! I foud a photo of our rings. Too bad the rings themleves aren't really in focus.
http://www.pbase.com/...ge/59130304/original
Edited to add: Taino, the ring you described sounds lovely. I hope you find a photo.
(This post was edited by granite_grrl on Jan 10, 2008, 12:56 PM)
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wanderlustmd
Jan 10, 2008, 1:15 PM
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taino wrote: Ring story... heh. My fiance wanted an engagement ring, yes - but she didn't want a diamond at all. She doesn't like the way diamonds in general are mined, to say nothing of conflict diamonds. Also, she's very firmly of the opinion that most people only care about the size of the rock - they all expect an engagement ring to be a diamond solitaire the size of your eyeball, and anything less is pointless. What she wanted, was a sapphire. It's her birthstone (and mine, too), and she's always liked them. However, I wanted to give her a diamond - not a solitaire, but something. I'm a bit traditional that way. So, I did some hunting around, and taking my lady's taste in jewelry into account, I had a ring custom-made for her. It has two small diamonds and a slightly larger sapphire, each on their own white gold band. The bands fit together, but aren't connected at all; they can rotate freely around her finger. The diamonds go on the outside, with the sapphire on the middle band; the stones sit on the outside of their bands so that they can slide over the other bands. It's not big or obtrusive so she can wear it and be confident it's not going to catch on something. It's also collectively wide enough that it' doesn't look odd on her hand (she has long fingers). I'd attach a picture, but it's on my other computer; I'll see if I can get one later. The thing is, the gold is reclaimed, and the stones are lab-grown. No mining was done to get the stones - thereby avoiding Kaela's dislike of mined diamonds and the diamond industry in general. It cost more than I had expected (a bit over $2K), but it's worth it to me to know that there's no other ring like it - and it's not just another diamond solitaire ring. Kaela loves it. Absolutely loves it. She doesn't wear it all the time (we're very active), but if she puts on jewelry, she puts on that ring first. That said, she's had people come up to her and excitedly demand to see her engagement ring, then not said anything and walked away when they didn't see a "rock". KimmyT has seen it, and can vouch that it's not bad at all. The point, 'biner, is as many other people have said: don't conform to what everyone else expects. Do what you want, even if the people who think they're closest to you say it's a bad idea. T
That's a nice story, I like how you were able to do something that made you both happy. That's what it's about, I think.
Hope you find a good ring biner!
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maww
Jan 10, 2008, 5:51 PM
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I like your story T - see if you can dig up a photo & share. I'd love to see it!!!
It's interesting to hear all of the personal likes, dislikes & stories around weddings, engagements, etc.
White opal sounds nice!!! We want pics pics pics. :)
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theclimbergirl
Jan 10, 2008, 8:19 PM
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My DH and I started out with custom made rings before we decided to get married. I can't remember if they were $450 for both, or $450 for each. His was a white gold celtic weave, mine was a yellow gold celtic weave with a lovely dark colored garnet. The way we chose them is a good story... early in our dating we were walking through a street fair in my hometown. I saw this beautiful ring display, and picked up a card, thinking -- someday, I want one of those (unusual, because I'm not a jewelry girl). Two-ish years later, when the boy and I started discussing that we would like to have rings together, he pulled out his wallet and I pulled out mine -- we had both taken the same card that day, from the same goldsmith, without mentioning it to each other. So, that's who we called.
I'm not a diamond girl. We wore those before we got married, and then wore them as wedding rings until about three years ago when we took up climbing and needed something we could take off and on easier. Mine is a lovely little white gold ring with some diamond chips, his is a plain white gold band. Total was about $250 for both. If I had it to do over again, I'd either forego the diamonds or ensure that the diamonds were properly sourced, but I didn't know at the time.
Now? hubby wears his fairly regularly, and when he's not wearing it, it's typically clipped to an accessory biner on my chalk bag. I haven't worn either of mine in some time -- at least, not on my finger. I wear my white gold ring on a chain around my neck. For awhile, I wore my husband's on a chain around my neck, and folks assumed I was a widow.
I still think very fondly of our wedding (and have done so, often, in the last few weeks). We got married ten years ago this September, so yes, I was a baby. I always meant to write an article about our wedding -- we did the whole thing for less than $2000 including service at our house with about 14 guests, reception at a facility afterward with all the friends and family, and then spaghetti feed (I picked up garlic bread on the way home in my wedding dress -- a fond memory) at our house (I cooked) for about 50 of our best friends after the reception. It was a looong day, but it was a grand party, and I don't regret a thing. The only thing we may have done differently is planned our ceremony to include our "chosen" family instead of just our immediate family -- there was a little bit of drama with some of the immediate family members about the choices we made, and if I had it to do over again, we may have been able to avoid that.
My advice to folks planning weddings is to do it your way. Try to resist the temptation to go down "crazy lane," the nickname my husband gave for those periods when I'd get obsessed over some stupid detail that had nothing to do with us ending up married.
In now, years, of not regularly wearing my wedding band, I've had precious few misunderstandings that resulted. I joke that I just "look" married, so the guys stay away.
Doing each other the honor of making your commitment ritual your own, seems to me a good sign for the future of your union.
(This post was edited by theclimbergirl on Jan 10, 2008, 8:21 PM)
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microbarn
Jan 10, 2008, 8:22 PM
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I read through much of the thread, but not everything. It looked like this was going to go unsaid. So, I will type it out quickly before I have to leave.
there are a billion designers out there. If you have an idea of what you want, you can usually find something close that has been designed.
If the design already exists, then you can usually get the ring for about 1/5 the price.
You and your SO are the only people that really know or care that much that your rings are made especially for you. If this detail about your rings isn't important to you, then why bother? The marriage and commitment is the important part.
and the biggest argument for choosing a ring that is done by a designer is price competition.
Pick out a ring from a designer. Find which stores in your area sell that designer. Go to all of them. Tell them exactly what you want. Ask their price. Leave. After you get their best prices, go back and ask them to beat the price. You will be very surprised how much of that price disappears. I think I got almost 2/3 of the price of the band reduced in this way.
The diamond is much harder, but can be done in the same way. Pick out the acceptable minimums for the 4Cs. Then go around and find the cheapest diamond meeting those criteria. Ask other dealers to try and beat the price with another diamonds of acceptable levels.
Buy the diamond and take it to the place with the best price for the band.
You will end up paying VERY little compared to everyone else if you do the footwork.
One final way you can try to save money is to try and buy it tax free by buying in another state or internationally in the tariff free places.
A smaller detail to think about, you will be getting married. So, choosing a ring with an already designed wedding band to pair with it later is really nice.
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taino
Jan 10, 2008, 10:35 PM
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I found two pictures:
T
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maww
Jan 10, 2008, 11:33 PM
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Very nice T! I like them both.
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jgloporto
Jan 11, 2008, 5:32 PM
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I bet your real glad I walked out of this one... see where this stuff goes without me here??!!@11!
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jgloporto
Jan 11, 2008, 7:14 PM
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maww wrote: jgloporto wrote: I bet your real glad I walked out of this one... see where this stuff goes without me here??!!@11! Yes it goes in more appropriate directions and there is much more girly talk without you. 
Exactly.
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maww
Jan 11, 2008, 9:00 PM
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jgloporto wrote: maww wrote: jgloporto wrote: I bet your real glad I walked out of this one... see where this stuff goes without me here??!!@11! Yes it goes in more appropriate directions and there is much more girly talk without you. Exactly.
And yet you are still here...and still talking.
Just teasing ya babe.
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