He doesn't realy understand death... He asked if Diego has wings.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 27, 2008 01:36 AM, CST
Everyone is asking about Diego's Memorial. We are thinking January 7th but not set in stone. We should know by Monday. We will most likely have his viewing this week though as he will be cremated after his viewing to be spread in the sea at a later date, possibly next December 24th. It will be at Parkcrest Church in Long Beach and I will post all details here when they are in place.

I hope to update on our Christmas tomorrow.





SUNDAY, DECEMBER 28, 2008 01:39 PM, CST
This entry was written by friends.

There are many of you who would like to do something for the Fuentes Family. As friends and family you are welcome to come on Tuesday night to light a candle for Diego and his family at their home. Please come anytime between 6 and 9 PM. There will be luminaries (candles in bags) ready for everyone to light, as well as a book for you to leave a message. You are welcome to leave a memento, (i.e. picture, flowers, cards, or anything appropriate). If you need directions you can email to

gnatsemail[at]aol.com

Although they are aware we will be doing this, we do not wish to disturb Frank, Michelle and Lilia. So please leave your candles on the lawn quietly.

All of your prayers, comments, entries to this site, and emails have all touched the family.

Thank you.





This is Michelle. On Wednesday December 31st if you would like to say good bye to Diego's earthly body there will be a viewing from 3-6 at:

Luyben Family Dilday-Mottell Mortuary
5161 Arbor Road
Long Beach, CA 90808
USA

He will be cremated on a later day.

RIP buddy! You are still my hero!




Your friend,
Adam

Light a candle for me, would you please?

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 28, 2008 01:39 PM, CST
The Luminaries were beautiful last night. Thank you all that came. Lilia had to go out and light one after knocking on the windows and saying hi to everyone. We also had to take her out when I got a glimpse of Pandie, Diego's favorite therapy dog and her sister. We stayed out there until 11 PM. It was so peaceful and beautiful and meant so much to us.


The viewing is today. Please only come if you need to. I do not want people to feel obligated to come. This in no way is a gesture of support. It is for those of us who need this type of closure. I know for many this does not help with closure but makes it worse so please do what you need to.


We do want everyone who can to come to Diego's Memorial Service. This will be Wednesday January 7, 2009 at Parkcrest Christian Church at 4 PM. I will post more info later. Lilia will be there but know it may not be something you want to expose your young child to, even if they were Diego's buddy and we completely understand.


Thank you for all the prayers, food, flowers and support.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 02, 2009 05:02 PM, CST
Diego's viewing was solemn but beautiful. He truly looked like an angel and we knew the moment we saw him that he is in heaven.
Diego's Memorial will be on Wednesday January 7, 2009 at 4 PM at :
Parkcrest Christian Church
3936 Woodruff Ave
Long Beach 90808
http://www.parkcrestheartwell.org/...ge.asp?page_id=49011

FRIDAY, JANUARY 02, 2009 12:02 PM, CST
Hello Frank and Michelle and precious Lilia Ballerina,


Though I have shared this wondrous, hard and miraculous journey that is the life of Diego Fuentes with you, I have only infrequently posted in your guest book. In the three years that Diego has battled this "Kraken with a capital C" I have seen the miracles multiply in our lives and in the lives of so many who have posted in this guest book.


I have witnessed the overwhelming outpouring of God's love through His people, His church world wide. I have watched lives change in front of me and hearts turn to our Father God. I have read postings celebrating, crying out to and worshiping the God who loves each of us so dearly and passionately. I have been blessed with the expressions of God's heart of love poured out through His family to all of us in postings representing 6 continents that I can list:

North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa and Australia.


This amazing soul, Diego, has, through his sweetness, joy, tremendous courage, passion for wonder and love of life touched many thousands of people. He has challenged us and encouraged us. He has accomplished these things in 5 years of life.


His sweet unencumbered relationship with Jesus has been instrumental in bringing souls to Christ including some very close to him.


Frank and Michelle, your passion, determination, love and courage have inspired us no less than that of Diego.
Their have been numerous confirmations of this in the lives of many both locally and beyond as stated in this guestbook.


I could continue to write indeffinitely. I am overwhelmed with the scope of the "Diego effect."

I know it is said that God takes souls to heaven at the appointed time. In this instance I believe that God welcomed Diego to heaven and said, "Well done, good and faithful servant."


I grieve the loss of Diego's physical presence here with us but i feel the presence of his soul and his influence now and for eternity.

Diego fought with courage, he never gave up. Death did not defeat Diego.

I paraphrase William Wallace:

"Death can take away Diego's life but it can never take away his freedom in Christ."


A very proud grampa, Tim



Tim Curran

SUNDAY, JANUARY 04, 2009 08:16 PM, CST
We are going to have a memory box at Diego's Memorial. We will provide 3x5 cards but feel free to write one at home on paper and bring it to the memorial. Pictures are welcome as well. We will cherish these memories along with our own. Don't forget to put your name. I promise to write more on how Lilia and us are doing after the memorial. Even with all the help there are many things we have to personally handle like going through over 5,000 pictures that we have taken since Diego was born for the slideshow and sifting through endless hours of video to capture Diego's essence in about 10 minutes. We all miss him dearly. More everyday.


Diego's Memorial will be on Wednesday January 7, 2009 at 4 PM at :
Parkcrest Christian Church

5950 Parkcrest Street
Long Beach 90808
http://www.parkcrestheartwell.org/...ge.asp?page_id=49011


Nearest cross streets are Carson and Woodruff

Remember, "Make A Wish" had flown Diego and his family out to Florida in October so they could go to Disney World and other attractions around Orlando, and Karen and the kids were able to drive down and spend almost a week with them? Diego was very happy to see Karen and Sage, but most of all his best friend, Justice. He had a blast goofing off with him, but he was coughing a lot and having head aches... When they got back to the LBC, an MRI and CT showed that the cancer had spread to his lungs and cerebral fluid around his brain, and it was pretty much downhill from there. He was suffering for the last 2 months, and at least now he isn't suffering anymore.

He died in their arms with Michelle telling Diego he didn't have to fight anymore, that he could just relax, but he said he wanted to fight, he wanted to live, and his last gasp a minute later was a quiet dinosaur roar. (he used to always roar like a dinosaur).

We flew back to support Frank and Michelle as best we could, as Karen was/is Michelle's best friend. She got a pretty cool tattoo to memorialize him on her wrist: A butterfly, with the body being a gold ribbon for children's cancer, and 2 D's hidden in the wings, as Justice used to call Diego DD, and Frank designed a tattoo for him as well that he got on his forearm: A Pirate flag with a skull and crossbones with his name and birth and death dates, where the skull is a T-Rex head, as Diego was fond of pirates and dinosaurs. I got a couple of red and black nautical stars on my upper chest near my shoulders since we were there. I hung for a bit at my old coffeehouse and saw many friends, some of whom almost broke me in half with hugs... Made me sad to realize how much I am missed, and all the friends I've left behind.

Justice doesn't really understand death, as he asked if Diego had wings, and when we were flying back to SoCal he asked if we were flying to Heaven.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 06, 2009 04:27 PM, CST
Today is really hard. I don't know if it is tomorrow being the memorial or driving by the school seeing the kids get out and boys of varying ages as I went to shop for clothes for my 5 year old son's funeral. Or the Carousel ride Lilia had to take at the mall. The reward for both kids anytime I had to drag them there. Lilia rode on her horse called Lucy and pointed out Diego's horse. Maybe trying to type into words that will never be able to convey my love for my son to be read at the memorial or finalizing the video for Diego's Memorial. It is all just too much. I want him back. I want to glance back in my rear view mirror and see him throw me a kiss as he catches my glance. I want him to tell me he loves me more than chocolate and throw his arms around me and give me a million kisses.

Diego's favorite color was green. If you want to wear it but he would be happy if you wore your favorite color as well. Dress as you like. I will be wearing slacks but jeans are fine too.

Diego's Memorial will be on Wednesday January 7, 2009 at 4 PM at :
Parkcrest Christian Church

5950 Parkcrest Street
Long Beach 90808
http://www.parkcrestheartwell.org/...ge.asp?page_id=49011


Nearest cross streets are Carson and Woodruff

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 07, 2009 10:21 PM, CST
What Frank, Diego's Daddy, read at the Memorial Tonight. I'll post mine tomorrow.

November 12 is the day I witnessed the miracle of life, manifested through Diego's birth. Before he took his first breath on this Earth I had a deep love for him. I was proud as any father would be. When I saw his first ultrasound and the pictures before he was born it really shook me. His profile looked just like him when he got older. His birth was a normal natural childbirth. He was long and really thin but with out complications. I felt very fortunate that he was OK. Diego's physical development was normal. From early on he was very attentive to what we said and smiled very often. It took him a while to crawl because of the congenital problem with his right arm but he found a way. He always kept very busy with either his toys or anything else he became curious with..

Some of my fondest memories of Diego are from 18 months and up. His energy, his smile and uncontrollable laughter that was so contagious. Together with those sparkling brown eyes he just melted hearts. I remember our second camping at El Capitan with our friends. Diego had to be around 23 months or so. He literally had me jogging for about 3 miles one way. People that we passed thought it was hilarious how this little dude was just leading the way. They were rooting us on when we went and on the way back too. How embarrassing. I was pretty tired too.

Diego was very passionate about many thing including things he enjoyed to learn about. Dinosaurs and animals in general were one of his true passions. This demanded I brush up on an overwhelming amount of information. For example: He knew the difference between a Mutaburrasaurus and an Iguanadon. Does anyone know? Didn't think so! This passion was not just a faze. I remember taking him to Toy's R Us and instead of wanting an extravagant toy he would pick out a whale or some reptile or dinosaur. After I let him watch the movie transformers that his grandparents bought I took him to KB toys down at the Lakewood plaza. Instead of picking a couple of 10 dollar transformers takes two 5 dollar dinosaurs. That was great!! His love for sea life and other animals took us to numerous fun filled trips to Sea World, the L.A. Zoo and the LB Aquarium.


While Diego was in treatment for his disease, I still tried to fit in as much father and son time as I could. I took him to the theater to see Kung- Fu Panda and WALL-E. I also took him to see Walking with Dinosaurs which he really enjoyed because they were so life-like. He would remind me, "Remember Daddy, they look real but there only robots and the small ones are controlled by humans, so they are not really scary." When ever I took him I would ask him if he wanted to eat and of course we were either going to Island's or CPK which were his favorites.

At play time Diego was the orchestrater. He loved to role-play. He was the lead man, always setting up and preparing what his friends or I were to play with him. Sometimes he liked my suggestions which I really appreciated. One night I let Diego watch Pirates of the Caribbean. I know it's not the best film for a 4 year old to watch but from there he just went bezerk for anything pirate. That really made him a big fan of the next 2 POTC movies especially the one with the Kraken. Before Pirates he was into Peter Pan for a while but after Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones, Captain Hook look like a fool!

Diego's vocabulary, timing, and thoughts were very well developed for his age. You felt like you were talking to an adult. Many people who met Diego and experience his essence called him an old soul. I think of him as an exceptional soul sent here to change hearts. Although his stay here on earth was short, his purpose was fulfilled. He touched many lives with his wit, charm, silliness,strength and faith in God. He came to fill his family with love of which he had plenty of, and gave me a especial gift. His coming brought me many things to be thankful for. Diego taught me patience, caring, strength, persistence, never giving up and no matter how bad things get. Letting laughter, drown out your sorrows and pain.

I will miss the precious moments he and I had, just the two of us. I made a bad habit of laying in bed with him early on. After Mom sang and prayed with him she would tuck him in. After that I would pray with him too and lay in bed with him. It made the nights longer than they really needed to be but now I don't regret it one bit. We would lay there and share stories and play guessing games most of the time or just talk about anything that came to mind. One night, just out of the blue he started telling me how he is going to be a scientist when he grows up. I told him that was great but first you have to go to school for a long time. This is what he told me "Well first before anything I want to be a kid, then a teen-ager, then I going to be a Paleontologist which is a scientist and Doctor then I will be a Daddy
with a goat-tee." I told him if you keep doing good in school and try as hard as you can on everything you do, I don't know how this can be a problem to accomplish.

I so wished and prayed that this could of happened for Diego, but that was not the plan set forth for him. I know he could been great scientist and Father. To me, he was great friend and of course son. I will miss him very much. Although his passing has been very tough, and I have not fully felt the effect of losing him. I feel very blessed that I was with him in his last hours and that he was in my arms as he left this earth. He left Lilia, Michelle, and I with some much love and good memories, his spirit will always be an inspiration to our lives.

Hey Adam,

Coincidentally I have a green shirt on today. I would hope that you share the heartfelt condolances of this community and the support that we have shared with you through this ordeal. I know it would mean much to myself and I bet several others who have been following this story.

Celebrate Diego's life. For it was a great one.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 09, 2009 08:26 AM, CST
Frank read his own and added a bit too his like how Diego would at playtime say OK Daddy I'm a lion and you are a lamb!

This is what I wrote to be read for me at the Memorial:


My words will never convey the love I have for Diego. From the moment you were in my belly I loved you. On the day you were born I realized an incredible new kind of love and I wept with joy as I held you for the first time. You made us a family as our first born child. We never knew the love and joy that you would bring. From the very beginning you loved being held and would gaze endlessly into my eyes as I nursed you or held you in my arms. Your favorite place was laying on Mommy or Daddy's chest. As you learned new things we were always amazed. I was always so protective of you. I felt uncomfortable when you were not at my side. I could not wait for Daddy to get home to tell him all we did that day and share anything new you did. As you got older your favorite place was still our chest. Always full of hugs, kisses and I love you's throughout the day. You had to cuddle for at least a half hour every morning. The simplest things amazed you like an insect or squirrel. During our Make-A-Wish trip besides seeing his best buddy Justice and family Diego's favorite things were going to Gatorland and petting a baby crocodile, finding a baby lizard at Disneyworld and the raccoon that came to our porch and found the half eaten cookie that Lilia left on the rocking chair and came to the window and gave him high fives. You loved going for walks and talking. When Lilia was born Diego instantly fell in love with her. He never let her out of his sight. The day at the park when Lilia was old enough to sit I took her out of her sling and put her on a blanket. A little boy came to look at Lilia and you got right between them with your with legs and arms out and said, NO!! That is my sister. I told you it was OK and you said no it is not! As she started venturing off the blanket you were never far behind. When she was walking you always made sure the kids she was playing with were nice before you went to play with your friends. Diego cherished his friends and family. At the grocery store Diego would remind me to buy Daddy's tea or Lilia's favorite snack. He knew your favorites and always had an entertaining and endearing story to tell about you too. When you asked if he had a sister the answer was much more than yes. Diego would talk about how silly or crazy she was and add a story that that proved it. He loved to laugh and his big belly laugh was so contagious. Diego also would do anything to make you laugh. He had this wit about that was very mature. He would catch adults off guard with his wit and humor. Diego loved going to the park and playing in the wading pools. He also loved to learn. He seemed to have an encyclopedia in his head. Diego loved learning everything possible about animals and dinosaurs. He then would teach you about them and quiz you. When we found out Diego had cancer just before his 3rd birthday it was really hard on him at first. He did not like the hospital, but later learned to have fun there too although he always wanted to be home. He met a special friend Pandie. She was the resident therapy dog. A tiny little black and white pomeranian. Pandie would do a few tricks but Diego just wanted to give her cheerios. He always ordered a box just for her on Wednesday. Pandie soon had a little sister Bella Trix. Diego loved hearing about how crazy she was and when he met he reminded her of his own sister. Once Diego was home from the hospital he was 98% of the time his energetic self. We found a park in Long Beach called Pan Am where there was hardly anyone else there and his friends joined us unless they were sick. We had had Sea World passes and went many times. We lived everyday to the fullest. Diego also loved school and his teachers. He was so motivated to learn that he was reading 3 and 4 letter words at 4 and a half. Mrs. Moons cool animal beanie babies were a great motivation as well. He was so proud of his work at school. When Diego relapsed and lost his arm I was a little worried how he would handle it. Dr. Femino the surgeon said I know Diego, he will do very well. Boy was he right. Diego had a sense of freedom like never before. We all fell in love with his little arm and were amazed at how much it could do. Unfortunately the amputation only extended Diego's life rather than saving it but his quality of life was great. The Saturday before Diego died the intensivist Dr wanted him to try a high flow nasal cannula. Diego wanted to go to the coffee shop and get a brownie. He tried the cannula and hated it. It was bigger and had too much air pressure. We left the room to talk to the Dr outside the door and he told the respiratory therapist look this is what is going to happen. I am going to the coffee shop first. Then when we come back up I will try the cannula on without the air. Then you can slowly turn it up and I will tell you if I like it or not. The therapist came out, told us and said wow, I feel dumb! That is exactly how I should of done it! We were all laughing. In the end we lost Diego. We told him in his last hour it was OK to rest. That he did not have to fight anymore. That Jesus was waiting for him and we too would be there one day. He said I want to fight. Right before he took his last breath he let out a final dinosaur roar. Just as he did every time he was sedated. I told him go to sleep, we are here. You are OK. We love you. Diego taught us so much and gave so much in his five years 1 months and 12 days. His spirit and strength gave us no choice but to be strong and spirited. Diego lives within our souls and hearts forever.







SATURDAY, JANUARY 10, 2009 07:12 PM, CST
This is another piece I wrote to be read. A few words were left out when read. See previous posts for our personal memories.


Special Thank You From the Fuentes Family

We were surrounded by the most incredible people through most of our cancer journey. We will never forget those of you who were right by our side. Everyone who prayed, brought food and donated money and gifts. It really meant more than you could ever imagine. Parkcrest Preschool you guys surrounded us in love which extended into the church. Sandy Moons and Christa Chavez for the Diego Fund and so much more. Also special thank you to my cousin Kelly who works at Drive Savers and made our slideshow possible by getting the pictures out of the hard drive. I would be lost without our photos. Our parents who were there at a moments notice.

Dr. Calderwood for being so compassionate and honest. He truly cared for Diego and our family from the start . Dr. Femino or as Diego called him, Dr. for Nemo who was with us from the beginning and gently broke the news that our son had cancer on a Friday at 7 PM and has us set up to see a Dr. in Long Beach on Monday morning. Diego and us trusted you every step of the way. We will never forget how you stayed through our sons 15 hour surgery that we thought would be 4-6 hours and gave us updates long after your 2 hour part was over. Then you met us at 2 am in the PICU to tell us he would be fine. Dr. Sato also for being so compassionate and brilliant. You stood by us never giving up on Diego. Going to bat for us as if Diego was your child and putting up with his poop talk. Sarcoma patients at City of Hope are so blessed to have you as their Dr and Sarcoma patients around the world to have you working in the field trying to find a cure for this rare and aggressive disease. Child Life at Miller Children's Hospital really taught us how to cope and help Diego every step of the way. Child life at City of Hope for making sure we were all OK. The nurses at Miller Children's Hospital and City of Hope, you guys are the most amazing people on this earth. Social Workers at Miller Children's Linda and Tammi, always there to listen and help. We really needed that. Valerie you pulled out all the stops. You are awesome. Amy, we hold you dear. You always seemed to be around when we needed to see a familiar face, especially the last day. So many other Dr's that were so kind and caring. We could of never made it without you all. Words are not enough to express our gratitude.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 11, 2009 08:39 AM, CST
Drummer-boys and butterflies

By Christa Chavez


When I was a child, my favorite Christmas show was “The Little Drummer Boy.” Sure, Rudolph, Frosty, and the rest were magical, but there was something about the little drummer boy playing for baby Jesus that mesmerized me, and my heart nearly burst from the joy of it.

This past Christmas day, I got word via email that a little boy I knew died from cancer. Five-year-old Diego Fuentes, who had been battling cancer in various forms for most of his life, had succumbed Christmas Eve at The City of Hope. His parents, Frank and Michelle, were at his side, quietly encouraging him to go to sleep, to go to Jesus. “I want to fight,” Diego countered as he struggled to breathe. Moments later, Diego gave out one final dinosaur roar before he was whisked to heaven.

I spent a couple of days muddling through the misery and mystery of Diego’s death and struggling to find words to comfort his parents. His mother had kept a regular journal of Diego’s life on a Caring Bridge website since his cancer diagnosis at age 3. The site invited all friends and family to post comments, to sign the “guest book.” What on earth could I possibly say to comfort Diego’s parents, whose lives seemed a perpetual torture chamber and, now, had lost their only son? What could I give?

Then, that powerful image emerged in my mind: the drummer boy, playing before the tiny infant in the stable, as Mary and Joseph smiled radiantly at him. I had to believe that I could give something of value. I had to be humble enough to give what little I could.

I hopped on the Internet and found a Huntington Beach woman who makes custom jewelry. One of her designs was a silver disk pendant overlaid with a sterling butterfly. Just below the butterfly, she engraves your name of choice. Bingo. I emailed her, asking her to please rush my order and engrave the name “Diego.” Within two days, the delicate, shining necklace was in my hands.

But, doubts came afresh. Should I mail the gift to Michelle? Knock on her door and hand it to her? Give it to her at the memorial? I suddenly felt silly again. How on earth could this piece of jewelry do any good? Who was I to think that I would know how to comfort her? After all, I had never even met Diego’s mother; I had only communicated with her several times via email.

I put all of those questions aside last Saturday morning, jumped into my car and drove to Diego’s house. A couple newspapers sat in the walkway; an arrangement of fresh flowers had been left on the porch. The house was silent. I pushed my card and ribbon-tied box through their mail-slot and heard them plunk to the floor on the other side.

On the card, I explained that the gift “represents transformation and new life.” Diego, like the butterfly, had become his most beautiful self.

Afterward, I found myself frequently checking my email to see if Michelle had gotten the gift. Again, I struggled: Of course she does not have time to email you, Christa; she is overwhelmed with profound grief. A day went by, then two, three, and four. I realized my expectation was unrealistic and that I probably would not hear from Michelle for many weeks, if at all. I had given what little I could, and that was all I needed to know.

Last night was Diego’s memorial at Parkcrest Church in Long Beach. I arrived a few minutes early and found a seat. In the front of the church, I could see the backs of Diego’s parents as they sat quietly. Although I had never met either of them in person, I recognized them from photos. I turned to an acquaintance, Gloria, next to me. “I wonder if I should introduce myself?” I asked Gloria, knowing I could not attend the reception afterward. Gloria strongly encouraged me. “Yes,” she said. “Michelle would want to meet you.”

Goodness! I felt exactly like that drummer boy as I stood and, in front of the packed church, made my way to the front pew. I fully expected Diego’s parents to be weeping inconsolably. There was a bench in front of them. I took a deep breath, sat down, and turned towards them.

“Hi, I’m Christa,” I whispered. I looked at Michelle’s face for the first time; it glowed with a peacefulness that filled me with calm. Michelle smiled and grabbed the pendant at her neck. “Thank you,” she said, as the silver butterfly caught the light. “I love it.”

Then, something happened that I did not expect. As I sat through Diego’s memorial and witnessed the incredible strength, love and faith of his parents, grandparents, caregivers and all of those who knew him, I realized that Diego was not the only butterfly: We all were. All of us who adored this child had been transformed by his journey – by his relentless determination, his iron will, his light, his faith, his sweetness. All of us who dared to intertwine our hearts with his and to journey with him through this disease had undergone a metamorphosis: We had all become our most beautiful selves. The cocoon of suffering had been shed, and what emerged was that which endures all things: love.

Like the little drummer boy, Diego had humbly brought his gift, and my heart nearly burst from the joy of it.

This will appear in The Sun Newspaper

SUNDAY, JANUARY 11, 2009 02:40 PM, CST
I haven't written in the guest book since before Christmas eve. I have attempted many of times but always find myself deleting each sentence, and then just deleting the whole thing. There are so many things I can say about Diego.

I met him and Michelle when he was just nine months through a moms group. There was always something about Diego that was special. Something in his eyes and the way he would talk. My son Justice was only three months older and they became best friends. They made a great pair, with Diego laughing at how clumsy and silly Justice was. For years we would meet at the park, almost three times a week. With other moms joining us as well. We found great friendships and love for each others children, as they were our own. We would move from one park to the next but by far going to Natalie's was the best. We would all sit around and talk while the kids played. Michelle and her family became a huge part of my life. Family is what I call them! I see people write about Michelle and Frank and say all these great things. It's all true plus more! They are great people and I'm so happy to have them in my life. Michelle you have been like a big sister to me! You and Frank are great parents.

Finding out Diego had cancer was the worst thing. I was so sad and not knowing what would lie ahead. He had a good prognosis and things seem to go ok for the first year but when he relapsed it was so hard. Why him, why Michelle, Frank and their family?? I had all these questions but no answers then. I tried to keep my kids well so that Michelle, Diego and lilia could come to my house and be safe. It made me feel better that I was doing something. Michelle went from going to the park almost every day to being stuck at home. I wanted to be an outlet.

We moved to North Carolina last May and I was heartbroken to leave them. I was happy that Parkcrest was lending their support to them. They are such great people there and have opened there hearts to Diego and his family. Thank You Parkcrest!

The Disney trip was keeping me going, knowing that we would be meeting them there. Of course it was great to see them and it was just like old times. Diego laughing at Justice! Diego and Lilia made it easy to say good bye with them laughing and calling me poopy head. I smiled and called them my little poop nuggets and kissed them good bye.

Christmas eve at about 12pm I had this weird feeling in my heart and decided to call Michelle. Michelle started to cry and I followed. Not understanding what she was saying I heard I love you and we hung up. I went to church that night and prayed my heart out for a miracle.

The next morning we opened gifts and I decided to check the caringbridge site. I saw the news and broke down! My husband and I immediately started checking into flights. I wanted to be there for my friend, my family! We spent a week in California and wish it could be more.

I didn't get the miracle that I had asked for but I did receive a gift. My view on life has changed because of Diego. I know he has touched so many people around the world and his name will live on. I will tell everyone I know about Diego and his family. So they can be touched as well!

Thank you Frank and Michelle for letting me be apart of your lives and giving me a gift!

Love Karen and Family

MONDAY, JANUARY 12, 2009 09:42 AM, PST
I am going to continue with the memories read at Diego's Memorial after today.

While in the hospital with Diego my cousin Margaret had a baby boy named Lucas. A few weeks later his mother noticed his eye bulging. After numerous tests he was found to have retinoblastoma a cancer of the eye and his eye was removed. We are hoping his other will be spared. They live in Georgia. I would like you to add Lucas to your prayer list. Here is his site address:www.caringbridge.org/visit/lucasasselin
The site was set up by his Grandmother, my Aunt.

I have so such to say but wanted to include all of these memories first. I will post the poem my sister read and possibly what my parents shared if they would like and our dear friends the Bingel's memories in the near future. Read Karen's guestbook post yesterday if you get a chance. I guess it is time to rewind to Christmas Eve. Can't we really rewind to Diego's birth and really be there again? We arrived home from the hospital after 7 PM and Lilia was so happy to see us and then looked around for Diego and said you left Diego all alone at the hospital!?! How do we tell her Diego left us while we were at the hospital? Not reading the grief manuals yet I told her he fell asleep and could not wake up again and that he was in heaven with our cat Jack. That night I read the how to explain to you child there brother is not coming back and it said you have to say DEAD! UGH! I guess she would never want anyone to sleep again or go to sleep herself if it was about sleep. So we told her and she asked questions. We explained how his body no longer works and as she asks more each day we talk more about it. On Christmas day we woke up to open the enormous amount of presents from a group of ladies associated with the pre-school and City of Hope. We were sitting in a circle and Lilia grabbed my Mother and my hand and said let's pray. She prayed, "Dear God please let Diego come back from the sky and be with us again. In Jesus name AMEN!" We are all crying she immediately gets up and sings shake your booty while dancing. A song and dance she would repeat anytime we would cry, even with the pastor present. We opened Lilia's gifts and they were all so perfect and wonderful! She loved the potty doll and actually is now potty trained except at night! The dollhouse was also better than imagined and this dog that grows and knows you name. She loves it! She chose Chi Chi out of all the names for the dog. It is really pretty cute and not creepy like a lot of those type of toys. There were also cute clothes and stuffed animals. It took forever to open all the presents as there were many and she needed to play with each toy for a while before opening the next. She was and is still so happy to have them. Mommy also got a fabulous basket full of much needed stuff to pamper with. Frank also loved his basket of goodies. We put Diego's gifts in his room and when everyone went home and Lilia was in bed we opened them. They were so perfect. He would of loved them all. I am sure a child at the hospital will enjoy them just as much. Frank had to keep a few and Lilia loves the camera and is getting quite good at taking pictures. The next day one of the Mom's we met at Miller's and who spoke at the funeral about meeting Diego for the first time brought over gifts from a group of Mom's that she talks to. There was a stuffed dog for Diego and the lady who gave it said she would like it too. I told her it was from Diego and she sleeps with him. One game they played involved walking and feeding there dogs and Lucy Lilia's snow leopard stuffed animal so it was really fitting. We were sad that Diego was not with us on Christmas but feeling blessed that Lilia had gifts and that so many people truly cared enough to do this for our family. Lilia still prays that same prayer everyday and ask questions about Diego being dead. She tells us she wants him and we tell he we do to and that he did not want to leave but is very happy now. We all miss him so terribly. Things are not the same. Our hearts ache. We hold each other close.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14, 2009 09:53 AM, CST
Ode to Diego



Farewell brave and gentle warrior.

You fought valiantly and though your road was hard, you

did it with a smile in your eyes and a radiant light emanating

from your heart that touched and changed all who encountered you.

The pain we all feel from losing you is overshadowed by

the legacy of strength, bravery and love you left behind.

You are and will always be at the very center of my heart.

Your rest is well deserved.

Be at peace, littlest warrior and know that we all carry on

for you

because you showed us how to be strong.

Written by my sister Jen


Better than Chili's- Claim Jumper and Curesearch an outstanding funder for childhood cancer research on January 20th:
https://giftshop.curesearch.org/c-66-.aspx

THURSDAY, JANUARY 15, 2009 09:01 AM, CST
Diego " My Little Darling"
When you arrived into this world from the love your mommy and daddy have for each other you opened your eyes and I said "Welcome to your world, Diego!"
You opened your eyes and I saw for the first time those beautiful brown eyes. You were so little you fit into this tiny diaper. You had my heart completely.
Your daddy was so proud that day that he stood a little taller and his crest looked like a soldier at attention. Mommy beamed with the blush and glow of a new mommy looking at the miracle she just given birth to.
My favorite time with you as a baby was when mommy would let us fall asleep together you would lay candled in my left arm and you would look up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and I would sing "This little light of mine" circling my one finger above your eyes and stroking your eyebrows until we fell asleep.
As you grew we find out we had quite a jokester in the family. You have given us all many happy moments of laughter and joy.
We were all crushed to find out you had cancer, it was like a heavy boulder rolling over my body. Darkness set in and tried to steal my faith, joy and hope.
My heart was broken, how can God allow My little darling to suffer?
My little Darling, in your short 5 years you have show all of us what standing up to our biggest foes is all about.
As a little one you loved sea creature especially sharks and whales, and then it was dinosaurs. But as the cancer developed you became the "Littlest Warrior" after running in your first Cancer Run and then later took on the fight with the Kraken with a capital "C" as "Diego the Pirate"!
What a courageous little pirate you have been! You have touched more lives in your life time than many do in their whole adult lives, you have taught us all how to live each day more bravely, how to put on our armor and fight the good fight.
Your testimony of how you could still pray to God with your little arm has show us, if a small boy who has lost an arm can still pray what's the matter with the rest of us?
You asked for prayer and love when you were afraid, what about the rest of us?
You reached across the world with your mom's writings in Caring bridge and showed us how a pirate of God never gives up never let's go.
30 mins before you passed you said you wouldn't stop fighting.
God gave you the most loving and caring parents in the world, for such a brief moment in our time. By the grace of your parents I watched you come into this world and take your first breath and I watched you take you last in your daddy arms.
My little darling I am honored to be your grandma and will always remember our time together as the best years of our lives as a family.
As I watched you leave the loving arms of your earthly daddy and tenderness of your sweet mommy I knew that your heavenly father was taking up into his arms and welcoming you into paradise.
Until we meet again my little darling you will always be in my heart.
I love you, Diego, Grandma.