Do I have to copyright my posts?!

Jay

I climb some mountains nude..class 5 even... how many points?

although I'll admit I usually cheat and use worn out walmart cheepo shoes and have clothes stashed in a pack somewhere below.

looking forward to shasta next weekend...cmon decent weather..

risk factor 9: facial hair
full beard to protect them from the elements -15
skinny mustache +5
Kain style mustache -10 (-another 10 if they rock the pipe Kain style, too)
sideburns +5
-5 if it's grey.

Um, even for the women?

I climb some mountains nude..class 5 even... how many points?

although I'll admit I usually cheat and use worn out walmart cheepo shoes and have clothes stashed in a pack somewhere below.

looking forward to shasta next weekend...cmon decent weather..

skinny mustache +5
Kain style mustache -10 (-another 10 if they rock the pipe Kain style, too)
sideburns +5
-5 if it's grey.

Does this include pubic hair?
There are several possibilities here. To list a few...the hitler stache, the landing strip, all natural, trimmed, shaved, the bonzai tree, the joe dirt, the lightning bolt, fuzzy peaches, and my favorite- the unibrow.

point ratings please?

A late summer scramble up a 14er?......sounds lame, I think I'll stay at home, get drunk, talk sh*t on the web, then do some bouldering.

A third lung -50

Gotta wonder with some of those guys.

I don't climb ice very often (not since i made the switch to foam come to think of it) and tend towards steeper and cleaner rock routes. These also tend to have harder free moves and as such i feel flipping in a fall is a bigger worry then getting hit with anything.

Well, that's fair enough then. I guess whenever I think of alpine climbing I also think of ice climbing as part of that.
I guess on stuff like hard routes in the Bugaboos a foam helmet would be best, but when I think of alpine, I always think of Ben Nevis ice rain and Caingorm death blocks.

of course, if you do get smoked by a rock/ice or bangy your mellon in a fall, i bet you'd rather have a helmet that doesn't need to be replaced mid-route. +99 for carrying an extra foam helmet on your harness incase the other gets cracked.
-10 if helmet has cool stickers that are all scratched to shit.

Fine additions omfgwtf@ me forgetting to put something in about tools and poons, but "stunned by the view"...
First time to, say, the Bugaboos always stuns. It's just so freaking awesome.

Nuff said.

I prefer sticker free helmets. If I'm going to have a bunch of stupid advertisement stickers on my helmet, I better be getting fucking paid to.
Anyways, I don't wanna cover up the sexy pink colour:

you make a good arguement. if my helmet was pink, i wouldn't cover it in stickers either. why waste good stickers on a helmet i'd never wear in public? +10 for spelling color with a "u".

-5 for lamented cut out.

What if you're not sorry that you cut it out?

You know the drill.

Risk Factor 2: Footwear
Trendy approach shoes +15 points

Risk factor 4: Belay devices
Any autolocker +25 points

risk factor 5: rack
+10 points for each cam below camalot .5, unless specially needed

Risk factor 6: uneccasary shit on harness
no "oh shit" beaner +25

Risk factor 7: topo
+10 for full book

Risk factor 8: clothing
+50 for each piece of cotton clothing (unless it's a T in the backpack for a summit shot)

Risk factor 10: pack
+15 if there's no removable backplate.


>100 = cutz the rope and run
>75 = newb
>50 = sketch
>25 = iffy
>0 sounds good
0 or less - good partner.
<-50 fuck yeah.

You know the drill.

Risk factor 1: Helmet
Foam only helmet +25 points
Non-climbing helmet +100 points

Risk Factor 2: Footwear
Trendy approach shoes +15 points
Plastics +5 points
Has to remove climbing shoes during route from fit, +25 points
cotton socks +25 points

Risk factor 3: Harness
Less then 4 gear loops +n points, where n= 4-number of loops

Risk factor 4: Belay devices
Any autolocker +25 points

risk factor 5: rack
Uneccasary cams - +10 points for each cam above camalot 3 or below camalot .5, unless specially needed
Hexes, as replacment for 2nd set of cams -25 points, uneeded, +25 points
Nuts -5 points for having WC ultralights in the smaller sizes.
+10 points for each sport draw.
+5points if they double up their double shoulder length slings and put them over their should instead of clipping them to themselves around the shoulder for easy removal.
+50 points for any gear they haven't already used twice (not the exact piece, but that type).

Risk factor 6: uneccasary shit on harness
Nalgene +5
pertex windcheater (a la montane) clipped to the back -5
no "oh shit" beaner +25
chalkbag attached with anything but full-strength cord or bootlace +15
Daisy chains wrapped around +10

Risk factor 7: topo
+10 for full book
+5 for torn out page
-5 for lamented cut out.
-another 5 points if they already read over it several times and barely have to glance at it.

Risk factor 8: clothing
+50 for each piece of cotton clothing (unless it's a T in the backpack for a summit shot)
+15 if they start the approach with all their clothes on.
+10 for anything down filled other then sleepingbag
+5 for cheapo walking poles

risk factor 9: facial hair
full beard to protect them from the elements -15
skinny mustache +5
Kain style mustache -10 (-another 10 if they rock the pipe Kain style, too)
sideburns +5
-5 if it's grey.

Risk factor 10: pack
-25 if it's cold cold world or gilogear
+10 if it has side pockets
+5 for each thing hanging off the side.
+10 if it's not made by a reputable brand
+15 if there's no removable backplate.

>100 = cutz the rope and run
>75 = newb
>50 = sketch
>25 = iffy
>0 sounds good
0 or less - good partner.
<-50 fuck yeah.

I failed your n00b test at 160 points.

Approach shoes to save weight (on most routes). Does ATC Guide count for autolocking? Camalots 0.3 and 0.4 are very handy on rock pitches. I used them both on the first pitch of Fitzroy for crack jumaring and they are very light weight. Oh shit biner is extra weight - I can afford to leave my ultra-lights. I always carry a full book in case I get off route. I love my old school army cotton shirt although I know it takes ages to dry. Why would I need a removable backplate?

Okay I'll try this.

+0

Kain style skinny mustache with sideburns?

I know what Kain looks like. I was just having fun with numbers...

skinny mustache +5
Kain style mustache -10
sideburns +5
equals zero :)

+10 for anything down filled other then sleepingbag

Just being curious, why the hate towards down jackets? I tend to get cold easily at altitude, and sure loved having one for walking around camp or even during breaks in the day.

-10 if helmet has cool stickers that are all scratched to shit.

Again, with the approach shoes - if it's rock with an easy approach then those are fine, but if there are glaciers or ice involved, then I don't wanna sit around while you switch to yore approach shoes.

This summer I also saw a guy glissading 30-40 degree snow couloir wearing Guide Tennies. He definitely was no beginner.

Number of friends who died climbing: N x -50 pts

No friends died climbing? 100 pts

Number of friends who died climbing: N x -50 pts

No friends died climbing? 100 pts

Great, at last some easy way to lower my score!

Great, at last some easy way to lower my score!

I simply didn't think people would overreact like that.

FWIW I was piss drunk when I posted that. Apologies if you got offended.

On the other hand, death IS part and parcel of alpine climbing. Within a year of alpine climbing, thrice I've witnessed choppers doing body recoveries. If you're so sensitive about death, perhaps you should stick to the crags.

On the other hand, death IS part and parcel of alpine climbing. Within a year of alpine climbing, thrice I've witnessed choppers doing body recoveries. If you're so sensitive about death, perhaps you should stick to the crags.

On the other hand, death IS part and parcel of alpine climbing. Within a year of alpine climbing, thrice I've witnessed choppers doing body recoveries. If you're so sensitive about death, perhaps you should stick to the crags.