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fullahsiffur
Jun 3, 2003, 7:24 PM
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HERE IS HOW THIS WORKS: I will start a story. I will write one paragraph and abruptly stop in the middle of a sentence. The next person can continue with ONLY ONE OR TWO SENTENCES. Similarly, they will stop in the middle of a sentence.
HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND: Use good GRAMMAR, PUNCTUATION, and SPELLING. Try to stay ON TOPIC. Do not take it upon yourself to END the story PREMATURELY.
IF THIS WORKS, it may be the next GREAT CLASSIC, up there with Les Miserables and David Copperfield.
Here goes:
DAVE had not climbed in many moons. He lay wide awake on his bed, eyes staring at nothing. The moonlight filtered through the wrinkled and broken blinds on his window. The past week had been truly devastating: getting fired by his boss for 'lack of commitment', getting dumped by his girlfriend, and an infinite number of other things small and not so small. Apart, they might have been handled and recovered from, but together they multiplied until their weight was too crushing to bear. Dave had stayed at home for two days, going nowhere and sinking deeper into the dark hole that had become his life.
Suddenly, he jumped up off the dilapidated spring mattress and ran to his closet. He reached up into the dark and yanked down all his climbing gear onto the floor. After gathering it up into a large plastic bag, he threw it into the back of his old van. He dumped some clothes into a basket and put by his gear. He started the engine and sped off into the dar night. He had to get away, to do anything but drown in his misery and sorrow. He didn't know where he was going...
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vertical_reality
Jun 3, 2003, 7:30 PM
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Registered: Jun 19, 2002
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... but his sense of adventure was to much to bear any longer. He knew somewhere off in the horizon he could fulfill his desires by finding the perfect peice of rock. Thoughts of.....
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cyberclimber
Jun 3, 2003, 8:10 PM
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...a place he had once heard about, where the rock was vertical and every hold was bomber, rattled around his head to match the sound of the empty beer cans rattling around as the old van shook and groaned from the unaccustomed speed forced upon it as Dave fled into the night. The road stretched away before him...
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crazywacky
Jun 3, 2003, 8:18 PM
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like a long black snake winding through the desert. Highway 95, long the shortcut to Vegas, was once again...
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crag
Jun 3, 2003, 8:41 PM
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Registered: Jan 29, 2003
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…his tributary to a world that always gave back more than he could handle. Then all of a sudden a large crashing sound was heard was it the axel breaking on his van, no it was his girlfriend awakening him from his beer induced slumber; a dream…
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moeman
Jun 3, 2003, 8:47 PM
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But what is a dream? Is it merely a reflection of our everyday subconcious thoughts and desires. Or was it the spirits of the cliffs, calling him back to them, after so long a wait...
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crazywacky
Jun 3, 2003, 8:50 PM
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to once again run his hands caressingly over their full and rounded slopers. With sweaty palms and a nervous stomach he rolled over to face his girlfriend to tell her that it was time..
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fullahsiffur
Jun 3, 2003, 8:53 PM
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WAIT JUST A SECOND 'Waking up from a dream' is NOT allowed in this story!!!
Now, the story was going just fine. Let's keep it going, okay? AND NOW, back to the story
like a long black snake winding through the desert. Highway 95, long the shortcut to Vegas, was once again...
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xanx
Jun 3, 2003, 8:56 PM
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Registered: Aug 6, 2002
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omfg... stupid slow computer... it was such a great passage too... oh well. oh and yes, this has gotten very stupid (and very over-sexed) very fast. i suggest we kill it. too many immature people here.
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crag
Jun 3, 2003, 8:56 PM
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I don't know, I was hopping Dave could get in a little grudge f'n before his departure. Just to remind his GF what she was going to miss.
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clymber
Jun 3, 2003, 9:36 PM
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Dave knew for a fact that after the grudge F he wouldnt miss that skanky whore anymore. After climbing off her he was ready for the real challenge, her hot roommate and the rommies even hotter lesbo girlfriend. He called the sexy couple minutes after the grudge F left. The phone rang twice and ahot sexy voice says "Hello". Dave a bit shocked says "Liz is that you". She says that it is. After some small talk Dave asks Liz if her gf and herself would like to have a.......
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tenn_dawg
Jun 3, 2003, 11:56 PM
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...hit of off his crack pipe, and a dip in the jello filled bathtub. You see, Dave had an affinity for cat fights, and he hoped that he might be able to introduce one into this last night of feminine companionship before he departed to...
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collegekid
Jun 4, 2003, 12:17 AM
Post #13 of 132
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Registered: Jul 7, 2002
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...canada. He'd had enough of the good ol' usa. It was time for a change, a major change. So he loaded up his van and drove North. While he was filling his gas tank 30 miles from home...
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tradmanclimbs
Jun 4, 2003, 12:18 AM
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Registered: Apr 24, 2003
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Dave fought off the sexual demons and took another drag of sweet sticky green, searched arround the sordid mess of his dilapitated pad and located the whisky bottle. "I have got to get out of this shithole and do something with my life" he screamed as he slammed the door in Linda's shocked face. The old buss shuddered alive as he worked his way through the gears and brought her up to highway speed. Dave hit play on the tape deck and settled into a good highway groove with the sweet sounds of HELP ON THE WAY sliding into SLIPNOTT. " Vegas " he said. It has a sinister sound to it but I feel the pull. It just the occured to him that he was going to solo PRINCE OF DARKNESS 5.10c It all made perfect sense now.
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collegekid
Jun 4, 2003, 12:28 AM
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i'm sorry but this is just stupid.
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collegekid
Jun 4, 2003, 12:29 AM
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(double post)
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tenn_dawg
Jun 4, 2003, 12:30 AM
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okay, so while stopping in vegas on the way to Canada, dave spied a shake junt called "Captain Nemo's House of Boobies". He was going to make a stop in anyway, but on closer look, who did he see stepping in the employee entrance. Well it was none other than professional female climber...
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mnutz
Jun 4, 2003, 1:01 AM
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Lauren Lee, with Emily Harrington and Torri Allen in tow. Seems, the girls were out for a cross country climbing trip (supported by their new mutual sponsor, God of Everything Cool) when their transpo got a flat tire. They ran in to the nearest business to use a phone and the facilities.
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timstich
Jun 4, 2003, 2:32 AM
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Registered: Feb 3, 2003
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Then Dave spied a scene he had seen before unfolding before his eyes. He grew weak and collapsed to his knees and began to weep.
"Sweet Jesus. Not again...." The icepick entered the top of his head from out of a small cloud that followed him.
Then it went black.
-THE END
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raindog
Jun 4, 2003, 5:04 AM
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Registered: May 22, 2003
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OR IS IT?
Dave woke up and found himself in a place that was strangely familiar, yet very new. Ahead of him was a towering crag of the finest granite.....
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philbox
Moderator
Jun 4, 2003, 5:25 AM
Post #21 of 132
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Registered: Jun 27, 2002
Posts: 13105
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soaring far into the clouds. Awesome splitter handcracks long ago cleaned of their tropical epyphitic vegetation, away off in the distance howler monkeys screamed their raucous mating calls, fabulous parrots winged their way past huge buttress rooted forest giants, immense lianas festooned every tree in sight.
Dave gathered his thoughts as he placed his pack on the soft forest detritus......
...Phil...
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timstich
Jun 4, 2003, 10:29 PM
Post #22 of 132
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Registered: Feb 3, 2003
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Dave was suddenly whisked away by gnomes who threw him into a deep well. Down, down he went until he hit a pool of floating bodies. The stench was horrible and the feeble light from the pinpoint above him barely lit his way. Then a hemp rope was lowered and a booming voice commanded, "Fill the basket."
Dave was horrified. He looked at the arms, torsos, legs, and floating heads in the immense pool. It was too much to consider this request from the ominous voice. He stared upwards.
"Fill the basket," the voice again commanded.
Dave again hesitated. Streams of acid poured down from unseen holes. Dave screamed in pain and began to put body parts into the basket. Weeping with grief and choking in the foul air, the days went by. Occasionally, more acid was poured from the unseen holes when Dave again was slow to fill the basket. Weaker and weaker Dave grew until he could fill the basket no more. His last thoughts were of how one day, he too would be put into the basket.
-THE END
You realize you didn't play the game right, don't you? It's a non-linear story. This is ending 4.
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rockmx
Jun 4, 2003, 10:50 PM
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Registered: Jan 15, 2003
Posts: 201
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Dave was so depress that he blow is head with a 44 Magnum… end of Story:twisted:
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fullahsiffur
Jun 5, 2003, 12:07 AM
Post #24 of 132
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Registered: Jun 2, 2003
Posts: 376
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OKAY, this was getting very strange. I salvaged as much of the good writing that I could and stitched it all together. PLEASE, do not get weird, sexual, off course, etc. This has great potential. HERE IT IS :
DAVE had not climbed in many moons. He lay wide awake on his bed, eyes staring at nothing. The moonlight filtered through the wrinkled and broken blinds on his window. The past week had been truly devastating: getting fired by his boss for 'lack of commitment', getting dumped by his girlfriend, and an infinite number of other things small and not so small. Apart, they might have been handled and recovered from, but together they multiplied until their weight was too crushing to bear. Dave had stayed at home for two days, going nowhere and sinking deeper into the dark hole that had become his life.
Suddenly, he jumped up off the dilapidated spring mattress and ran to his closet. He reached up into the dark and yanked down all his climbing gear onto the floor. After gathering it up into a large plastic bag, he threw it into the back of his old van. He dumped some clothes into a basket and put by his gear. He started the engine and sped off into the dar night. He had to get away, to do anything but drown in his misery and sorrow. He didn't know where he was going | but his sense of adventure was to much to bear any longer.
He knew somewhere off in the horizon he could fulfill his desires by finding the perfect piece of rock. Thoughts of | a place he had once heard about, where the rock was vertical and every hold was bomber, rattled around his head to match the sound of the empty beer cans rattling around as the old van shook and groaned from the unaccustomed speed forced upon it as Dave fled into the night. The road stretched away before him | like a long black snake winding through the desert. Highway 95, long the shortcut to Vegas, was once again | his tributary to a world that always gave back more than he could handle. Then all of a sudden a large crashing sound was heard | as the old van swerved and flew of the road way. Dave's head smacked against the windshield and his vision went dark. |
Dave woke up and found himself in a place that was strangely familiar, yet very new. Ahead of him was a towering crag of the finest granite | soaring far into the clouds. Awesome splitter handcracks long ago cleaned of their tropical epiphytic vegetation, away off in the distance howler monkeys screamed their raucous mating calls, fabulous parrots winged their way past huge buttress rooted forest giants, immense lianas festooned every tree in sight.
Dave gathered his thoughts as he placed his pack on the soft forest detritus...
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ronamick
Jun 5, 2003, 2:59 AM
Post #25 of 132
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Registered: Nov 28, 2002
Posts: 476
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"Dave" reflected upon the many and complex reasons for the arduous medical ordeal which he had voluntarily undergone, and only recently completed. He still had some pain whenever he tried to stem too far, not as a result of the sex change operation, but due to the misfortune of buying his gore-tex pants too tight. It would have been funny were it not for the intensity of pain which occurred when a too-perfectly installed anatomical add-on became irrevocably wedged in the fearsome vise of fabric which could unexpectedly capture and compress at any time- a phenomenon which all men, Dave now included, knew and feared.
"I should have gone with the doctor's reccomendation" thought Dave as he pulled through the searing pain of yet another gonad-crushing high step, "and gone with a pair of nitrile-butadyne inserts instead of insisting on the real deal". But in fairness, how was Dave, who at that time was still Gwyndolyn, to know? She had always been one to go for the best and biggest, no matter what the situation. She had insisted on the complex and expensive transplant option, and was now paying the price in spades.
A flood of relief washed through Daves body as he finally weighted his high foot, allowing his injured part to drop and pendulum back into place.
A yell from far below broke Dave's reverie. It was his partner, Uncle Chapparo, who had begged Dave to teach him how to climb, and was getting more than he bargained for. "Chappa", as Dave called him, was hanging 160 feet below on a pair of rusty rurps oppositioned behind a loose block. Dave wondered why he had decided to make the first ascent of the Pablajholughatto de Friesta Chappa's first climb, then reasoned that guys always make dumb decisions and fixed the line.
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