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climbinggirl33
Nov 21, 2003, 9:02 PM
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I moved to Seattle last spring and have met a lot of climbers via this site and others. I always try to meet people first in a gym . . . which I've found limits who's willing to meet/climb with me (I mean, everyone would rather be outside right). Hoping I have better luck in the winter . . .
Now that I know my way around the area a bit more, I've met people out at local crags - because I know the area and feel safe. I always bring my own car . . .just use common sense and listen to your gut!
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puppypower
Nov 21, 2003, 10:04 PM
Post #27 of 41
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[quote="roseraie]Yeah, the people who post regularly probably "get" your sarcasm, but there are thousands of users here, and, as maculated's example proves, there will definitely be guys who think you're calling out to them to teach you to climb and, ahem, other things. I've gotten those messages too.
Just be picky who you meet off the internet, and be careful. I e-mailed with a guy I climbed with off this site for upwards of two months, and it turned out very well. BE PICKY, AND CAREFUL! Good luck.
Meg
Thanks. Ummm... Would you have any suggestions about how to "pick"???
It's like all I have to go on is what they've said and maybe check out some of their postings. And actually (gawd, hope this doesn't jinx me now) haven't gotten any of "those messages". I mean the best I can probably do is talk to them on the phone, meet them in a public place, and leave info with friends.
.
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moabbeth
Nov 22, 2003, 12:55 AM
Post #28 of 41
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In reply to: [Thanks. Ummm... Would you have any suggestions about how to "pick"??? .
It's pretty easy. Ask them about their history, how long they've been climbing, what grade they are confortable leading at, what their level is in trad/sport, throw in a couple safety questions for good measure. Arrange to meet them at a crag so if they turn out to be b*llshitting you once you get there and don't know how to tie a figure 8 then you're free to bail. Chances are 90 pct they'll be able to back up their words with their skills on the rock. Not that many people would spray overrated abilities to a newbie cause a newbie wouldn't know how to get them out of a bad situation should it arise.
And don't fret so much about partners. Climbers are good people. People on the site are good people. Just get out on the rock and climb.
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robmcc
Nov 22, 2003, 4:06 PM
Post #29 of 41
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In reply to: And don't fret so much about partners. Climbers are good people. People on the site are good people. Just get out on the rock and climb.
I was gonna let that slide, but then I finally broke down and read the "Why is PTPP still here" thread that I'd been ignoring.
Climbers are not, a priori, good people. Nor are people on this site good people just because they're on the site. Climbers are people, and people come in all flavors. I don't buy that there's anything in climbing that would deter bad people from participating. I think it's just common sense and realism to assume that if there are people in the general population who you couldn't trust yourself to, there are certainly people in the climbing population you can't trust yourself to. Odds are good you'll never meet one, climbing or otherwise, but that's no reason not to stay safe.
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timstich
Nov 23, 2003, 12:16 AM
Post #30 of 41
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A few weeks back I drove up to Ft. Collins to have drinks with another climber that I knew from the internet. Sitting there at the bar of the Rio Grande, I started to get bored waiting for the guy to show up. This young woman was also sitting at the bar waiting for her friends and we began to talk. I mentioned I was waiting for a guy.
"Is it for business?"
"No. We are both climbers."
"Did you bring any flowers?"
"Ah, no."
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enigma
Nov 23, 2003, 5:56 AM
Post #31 of 41
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In reply to: [quote="roseraie]Yeah, the people who post regularly probably "get" your sarcasm, but there are thousands of users here, and, as maculated's example proves, there will definitely be guys who think you're calling out to them to teach you to climb and, ahem, other things. I've gotten those messages too. Just be picky who you meet off the internet, and be careful. I e-mailed with a guy I climbed with off this site for upwards of two months, and it turned out very well. BE PICKY, AND CAREFUL! Good luck. Meg
Thanks. Ummm... Would you have any suggestions about how to "pick"???
It's like all I have to go on is what they've said and maybe check out some of their postings. And actually (gawd, hope this doesn't jinx me now) haven't gotten any of "those messages". I mean the best I can probably do is talk to them on the phone, meet them in a public place, and leave info with friends.
.
Well I would try these ideas first, take your own car, try to meet first at a public place ex.Starbucks, talk to the potential partner for a while, and try not to plan on climbing in a remote area initially where it will take some time to leave if you want to, if you get a creepy feeling at any time, leave the situation.
Also I would recommend to try to climb in a group setting if possible as well.
Do Not rely on the fact that someone is on rc.com or any other climbing group as automatically safe either.
Try to climb in some areas which are more crowded with climbs nearby , a top rope wall or a sport areas.
If you are planning on a weekend of climbing try to find camping areas where there are other climbers, or campers are around close by.
Keep your wits about, try not to put yourself in a situation where you will become more vunerable. :idea:
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moabbeth
Nov 25, 2003, 1:58 AM
Post #32 of 41
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In reply to: In reply to: And don't fret so much about partners. Climbers are good people. People on the site are good people. Just get out on the rock and climb. I was gonna let that slide, but then I finally broke down and read the "Why is PTPP still here" thread that I'd been ignoring. Climbers are not, a priori, good people. Nor are people on this site good people just because they're on the site. Climbers are people, and people come in all flavors. I don't buy that there's anything in climbing that would deter bad people from participating. I think it's just common sense and realism to assume that if there are people in the general population who you couldn't trust yourself to, there are certainly people in the climbing population you can't trust yourself to. Odds are good you'll never meet one, climbing or otherwise, but that's no reason not to stay safe.
I meant it in a lighthearted kind of way since she seemed to be kinda stressing a lot over the topic. Of course not all climbers are good, but in my experience a solid 97 percent of all climbers I've met are. As far as PTPP goes, I stay out of that fray. In the 13 months I've been on this site I've never had a lewd, scary or perverted PM from someone I didn't know (once I know them well, then it can be another story :wink: :lol: ). Overall, it tends to be really positive, good people.
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fyreflii
Dec 4, 2003, 2:32 AM
Post #33 of 41
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Just to add my personal experience, I've met some awesome people from this site. I could be taken advantage of so easily as an 18 year old girl in SoCal, but I've never once felt threatened or uneasy around anyone I've met through rc.com. Last guy I met from came and picked me up every weekend from school to climb with his friends at JTree and stay at his house, and then drove me back so school on Sunday night. Now he and his wife are letting my boyfriend live in their guesthouse rent free because money got tight. I'm there every weekend hanging out with them, we've become part of the family.
I'm not saying everyone is totally trustworthy, but I've had nothing but great experiences and made nothing but good friends from this site.
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curt
Dec 4, 2003, 3:16 AM
Post #34 of 41
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In reply to: And don't be afraid to ask a guy who wants to climb with you if they've ever climbed with anyone from the site before. If someone just shows up out of nowhere and says they want to climb with you, it's okay to be distrustful. Not only are you trusting that person to not physically harm you in any way, you're trusting that that person knows what he's doing climbing. I've heard some nasty stories about people saying they knew more than they did.
Curt
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missedyno
Dec 5, 2003, 2:14 PM
Post #35 of 41
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it's okay to tell someone you don't want to climb with them.
trust me, it's very awkward, and you may feel "bad" about it... but feeling sorry for someone (someone without a partner) is not a good enough reason to put your life in their hands.
i've met and climbed with a few people from this site.... PM'd a lot first, some i never ended up meeting - didn't feel right. follow your instinct.
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spider_woman
Dec 16, 2003, 2:33 PM
Post #36 of 41
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Registered: Aug 17, 2001
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For the most part I think it is relatively safe, I have yet to hear anything about it being unsafe. If you're going to meet someone from the site, check out their profile, and their posts. Ask probing questions (not an interrogation) using your pm's and meet in a public place like a gym or busy crag. Most of the time I think climbers are cool, hopefully you and no one else will not have any problems finding a partner. Good luck!
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calamity_chk
Dec 16, 2003, 6:08 PM
Post #37 of 41
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Registered: Apr 23, 2002
Posts: 7994
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i've probably met close to 100 users from this site and have never felt threatened/scared. one user made me feel slightly uncomfortable, but it was at a gathering so i just rounded up another partner for the next day.
as always, though - keep your wits about you and go with your gut feeling. if something doesnt feel right, dont question the feeling. it also helps to pm users who've climbed with him/her. i would tend to do that on longer trips just because i didnt want to waste my time/money to spend the weekend with a total jerk.
they used to have a rating thingie so that you could rate people that you've met. this was helpful because you could look at a user's profile and pm anyone who'd rated the person with a low score to get the skinny. generally, people were rated low because they slammed somebody in community or something retarded.
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jumpingrock
Jan 5, 2004, 5:10 AM
Post #38 of 41
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Registered: Dec 16, 2002
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Something I don't think anybody has mentioned yet is start climbing below your limit to start. Maybe a couple easier climbs so that you feel comfortable with the person belaying you b4 you start taking massive whippers. Or are starting a massive multi-pitch.
Just my 2 cents. I have only met one person so far who I climbed with from the internet and it went really well.
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monkeygirl
Jan 7, 2004, 6:29 PM
Post #39 of 41
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Registered: Oct 22, 2003
Posts: 5
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There are some really great suggestions here, some of which I will take on practicing (meeting at a gym or for coffee). I've trusted my gut thus far and haven't been disappointed and met my regular partner through a site (who is absolutely great).
I follow these general guidelines: Google them. Talk by phone. Leave info with family. Definitely take your own car no matter if carpooling makes sense. Know the location that you'll be climbing. Start on easy climbs.
Thanks for bringing the subject up!
Happy Climbing!
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robmcc
Jan 7, 2004, 6:49 PM
Post #40 of 41
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In reply to: T've trusted my gut thus far and haven't been disappointed and met my regular partner through a site (who is absolutely great).
A roll of the dice. I invited someone from this site not too long ago. Talked on the phone and I just got a feeling she wasn't going to show. She didn't. I can only assume she "went with her gut", which happened to be dead wrong, but hey, I'll take it as a learning experience. Never again will I use my serial killer voice and suggest she bring a big tarp and lots of duct tape.
I think the simple fact is that MOST people are good people, so you can have a bad selection algorithm and not get bitten.
I think if you _really_ want to avoid the 1 in 10,000 or so (guessing) bad climbers out there, you start slow and build trust. Go to the gym. Climb with the new person in a group setting, etc. Foolproof? Course not, but it's kind of like putting the club on your car. Pretty easy to defeat, but you're no longer the easy target.
That's where I am with my current partners. We climbed in the gym, then outside, etc, etc, and I would trust them with anything...for that matter, I already have... and without presuming to speak for them, I'm pretty sure that's reciprocated.
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lehrski
Jan 17, 2004, 4:02 AM
Post #41 of 41
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Registered: Aug 29, 2003
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Along the same line, I met a guy this summer while I was cragging. I climbed with him several times and we both have a common interest in mountaineering, so he asked if I'd like to go on a longer alpine trip with him. I agreed initially, but kept getting a really bad feeling about him even though he seems like a nice guy so I bailed on him. He's asked several times since about other trips. How do I explain to him that even though I've been on trips with other people (he knows some of my friends) that I don't feel comfortable in the backcountry with him?
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