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akclimber
Jan 9, 2005, 11:12 AM
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Evidence. :lol:
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jimdavis
Jan 9, 2005, 12:10 PM
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You do a double take at the hammers in the hardware store.
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euroford
Jan 9, 2005, 3:04 PM
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if you accidentally hit yourself in the head with a hammer your first thought is 'whoa, thank heavens, it could have been the adze'.
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brewtoad
Jan 9, 2005, 3:20 PM
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Your wife looks at you in nice schoeller softshell pants and says you should be on "Queer Eye for the Mountain Guy"...
And you consider your flask a part of your rack!
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akclimber
Jan 10, 2005, 8:40 AM
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you have attempted to coil your rope it it has some how come out with corners on it...
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lambone
Jan 10, 2005, 7:22 PM
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In reply to: Your wife looks at you in nice schoeller softshell pants and says you should be on "Queer Eye for the Mountain Guy"... And you consider your flask a part of your rack!
hahah nice!
ok,
You have had stainless steel stuck to your toung.
You have spent all day digging your car out of the snow...just to get FURTHER up INTO the mountains.
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cor
Jan 10, 2005, 7:53 PM
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The first thing you think when you see any garment is how warm it would keep you on a forced bivey
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lambone
Jan 10, 2005, 8:22 PM
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...including a string bikini and the female wearing it!
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creemore
Jan 10, 2005, 9:31 PM
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If you get a weird look from the girl at the Home-Depot when you ask for bamboo wands..... :wtf: Do I look like a gardner ???
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dead_milkman
Jan 10, 2005, 9:42 PM
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You think a tea bag and packet of dried soup makes a meal... for two.
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boulder_boy
Jan 13, 2005, 1:19 AM
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when people ask you if you like their jacket, you ask him what its used for....a layering jacket or your outershell then he looks at you like your a moron because it is a skating jacket.
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rendog
Jan 13, 2005, 2:28 AM
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...you see a member of the opposite sex and can tell that they have a wicked sexy body. under 6 layers of clothes, a blelaclava, and a helmet
...you get a hard-on/wet panties thinking about spending an entire day freezing you butt off on some remote climb, getting soaked, dehydrated, and half starving. Then making plans to do it again the week after
...winter camping is viewed as training so you only bring the barest of essentials with you. (see dead_milkman's comment above)
...the choice comes down to two things....new axe....or pay taxes....pfft that's an easy one.
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j_from_the_307
Jan 13, 2005, 3:08 AM
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I like the idea of keeping a female alpine partner...
It's like having a -40 degree bag that doubles as a belay slave/rope gun. That is of course as long as you emphasize the fact that you have to "keep moving" when you run into "unexpected" bivies.
"I know it looks like it's only 50 ft. to the summit, but that's only the.. uhh... south summit... yeah... so we're gonna have to bivy... yeah."
Next morning: "My bad..."
When your girlfriend asks why you get up so early in the morning to do a route, you simply explain that "she gets wet by 9 am every morning, so I want to be there for primo conditions".
You've ever had an epic on a 2 pitch 5.2 route.
You think that same route should be rated "IV 5.2 A3 M8 30M"
Your partners won't speak to you anymore after how much you laughed at how much more they suffered than you.
You've sent a V4 in Koflachs and down mittens.
You've ever climbed in Koflachs in a gym.
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jimdavis
Jan 13, 2005, 4:47 AM
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In reply to: You've ever climbed in Koflachs in a gym.
I'll second that one!
(Although it'd be a lot weirder if I didn't work there and we didn't rent them.) :?
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kachoong
Jan 13, 2005, 4:58 AM
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....you consider the head of the glacier to be the start of the hike, not the end....
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petsfed
Jan 13, 2005, 5:14 AM
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In reply to: Your partners won't speak to you anymore after how much you laughed at how much more they suffered than you.
You'll get yours fucker.
If you find out your routes are really only 5.6 in rock shoes.
If you've ever considered 4 am a late start.
If you've ever cut labels off your sox.
If you know how to hand jam in a mitten.
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kachoong
Jan 13, 2005, 5:55 AM
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....what about if you snap your toothbrush in two to save on weight?....
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jimdavis
Jan 13, 2005, 6:29 AM
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In reply to: ....what about if you snap your toothbrush in two to save on weight?....
No, that just makes your stupid. :roll:
:twisted: Real alpinists don't carry toothbrushs! :twisted:
(No harm ment, kachoong)
Jim
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j_from_the_307
Jan 13, 2005, 6:38 AM
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If you every picked up a box of those "Brushups" (rip-slip-brush-ahhh) because it looked like a super lightweight alternative to a toothbrush and toothpaste.
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akclimber
Jan 13, 2005, 8:48 AM
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Evidence. :lol:
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clmbrdancer
Jan 15, 2005, 4:43 AM
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When you think about living in the back of your Subaru for the next three months of winter to save money for gear/flight to AK even though :
you'rer two inches too tall for the back
you don't own a -20/-40 sleeping, just two 15 degree bags, one of which is old
Hopefully I'll be able to couch surf for said 3 months once I arrive back in Bozeman.
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adamtd
Feb 1, 2005, 3:54 PM
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You might be a true alpinist when...
everyone else is heading home and you and your partner and just starting out.
you haven't been able to feel your extremities for two days, but you still have a smile on your face.
you wipe your a$$ with sticks, stones, and snow balls because TP weighs way too much.
what started out to as a beautiful day, turns into a monsoon, and now you're starting to have fun.
a well protected route means that you're looking at 30' rather than 60' whippers
it's 80 degrees outside and your climbing rock with crampons and tools, dreaming about the next ice season.
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akclimber
Feb 1, 2005, 8:28 PM
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...you look at a waterfall in summer and wonder what it would be like frozen...
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rendog
Feb 4, 2005, 4:45 AM
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HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAH
I did that last summer driving through the Roger's Pass.
you might be an alpine climber if...
a nice hike for an off day is to shuttle food/gear caches up the mt for your next winter ascent of Mt. X
your hands look weird when they're not all waxy and peeling
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rendog
Feb 4, 2005, 4:46 AM
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HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAH
I did that last summer driving through the Roger's Pass.
you might be an alpine climber if...
a nice hike for an off day is to shuttle food/gear caches up the mt for your next winter ascent of Mt. X
your hands look weird when they're not all waxy and peeling
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all_that_is_rock
Feb 10, 2005, 11:46 AM
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when:
you pack 60 pounds into your pack and do laps on a 5.6 in the gunks in
-10 degree weather as practice.
you camp in your back yard in january just for fun.
you carry your boots, axes, and crampons in your car incase you see tempting ice on the side of the highway.
you always have a healthy supply of ramen for last minute expedition planning
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crag
Feb 10, 2005, 1:42 PM
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....after spending the past 36 hours on the move (with only a 2 hour nap/biviy) you reach your final destination beaten to a pulp the bottom of your feet feel raw you finally drop your pack, you’ve run out of all but the last bit of food, you no longer need to talk to your partner simple hand gestures and grunts suffice. You scurry around the trail head for your secret stash a bottle of 18 yr old single malt toast to your achievements and you couldn't feel anymore alive if you tried. With out hesitation as life begins to return to your body you start conjuring up your next adventure.
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lambone
Feb 10, 2005, 6:12 PM
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In various states of delerium you have seen small trolls taunting you from behind the talus.
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lambone
Feb 10, 2005, 6:12 PM
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In various states of delerium you have seen small trolls taunting you from behind the talus.
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refugee
Feb 10, 2005, 7:04 PM
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You're an alpinist if you chose a girlfriend by finding one with thick legs who can pack in 60+ pounds to your super sick proj in Mongolia
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jimdavis
Feb 10, 2005, 8:21 PM
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In reply to: You're an alpinist if you chose a girlfriend by finding one with thick legs who can pack in 60+ pounds to your super sick proj in Mongolia
Maybe I should invite her over....
Cheers,
Jim
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paulraphael
Feb 11, 2005, 5:19 AM
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When a cute girl at the gym notices you on the stairmaster in boots and a capilene shirt, wearing a large pack filled with iron from the weight room and a cammelbak filled with odd-colored carbohydrate drink, the hose spiraling out and into your mouth, tangled with your ipod headphones--and she asks you if you're "what ... a Ghostbuster?"
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simplistic
Feb 11, 2005, 5:40 AM
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you have just returned from a moderate 6 pitch rock route after a 7 hour work day that comes after 6 straight days of 8 hour days of physical work only to find your voice mail full....one message is from some pals who are looking for a third for an alpine traverse, you don't care about the others... but the key is weather is only good for three days....and you need to leave the next morning at 5 am. its now 10:30pm....your alpine gear is in another town 1.5 hours away at your girlfriends house...and you need to buy food in that town for the group cause all the stores are closed where you are now...so you do the drive...bribe the late night grocery store to stay open 5 more minutes so you have cheese and pep. to go with your bagels...kiss your girlfriend(knowing its probably the last time), grap the gear... drive back to the trailhead...sleep for what feels like 15 minutes...wake up and get your ass kicked for three days of 12-14 hours of alpine delight...and somehow have fun!
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billy
Feb 11, 2005, 6:14 AM
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You build a snow cave in a snow drift in your backyard then proceed to spend the night bivied in it while your partner is snuggled naked in your toasty bed. You wake up the following morning and find out you had a better nights sleep than her.
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ron_burgandy
Feb 11, 2005, 7:23 AM
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...If you decide to go on a climb one weekend instead of hanging out with your girlfriend, only to come home to the news that you have just been dumped. So what do you do? Go bouldering in your garage, call it a night, and at work on monday you tell all you buddies you had a fantastic weekend.
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all_that_is_rock
Feb 11, 2005, 8:15 AM
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you might be an alpinist if:
your sport climbing buddies think your a mad man when you call them in febuary and say "great weather huh, wanna go climbing today"?
you own more expensive shoes than your girlfriend does.
antarctica is a more apealing vacation destination than the bahamas
you dont have all ten toes (and think its a sighn of status) lol
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jeremy11
Feb 11, 2005, 3:19 PM
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it "could be worse!" is one of your favorite remarks
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jeremy11
Feb 11, 2005, 3:20 PM
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it "could be worse!" is one of your favorite remarks
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montafoner
Feb 11, 2005, 3:35 PM
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you're staring out your livingroom window at the icicles hanging from the eaves wondering if they would hold your weight.
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paulraphael
Feb 11, 2005, 4:14 PM
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"you own more expensive shoes than your girlfriend does. "
This one troubles me. Not just because it's true, but because I also saw it on the
"You might be gay if ... " message board.
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mother_sheep
Feb 11, 2005, 5:01 PM
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In reply to: In various states of delerium you have seen small trolls taunting you from behind the talus.
HAHAHAH! I laugh because my partner and I were descending a route and while on the talus, I was having thoughts of the rocks being alive and what they were feeling. . . Just one more example of sleep deprived, altitude induced, exhausted delerium.
You might be an alpine climber if you spent 22 hours hiking and climbing, cold, wet and a little freaked out on a Sunday and you go into work on Monday after having a whopping 2 hours of sleep smiling and already thinking about what to do the following Saturday.
You might be an alpine climber if you've mastered the art of timing your bowel movements (thanks to the input I received on this site months ago).
You might be an alpine climber if you choose peaks over sex. Never mind. . .that just makes you stupid.
You might be an alpine climber if your idea of fireworks is watching sparks fly whilst trundling big rocks and small boulders off the side of mounatins, while descending in the middle of the night.
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csgambill
Feb 11, 2005, 5:57 PM
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In reply to: "you own more expensive shoes than your girlfriend does. " This one troubles me. Not just because it's true, but because I also saw it on the "You might be gay if ... " message board.
I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'd imagine it'd be pretty tough to be gay with shoes that attach to big metal spikes.
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neurostar
Feb 11, 2005, 7:27 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: "you own more expensive shoes than your girlfriend does. " This one troubles me. Not just because it's true, but because I also saw it on the "You might be gay if ... " message board. I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'd imagine it'd be pretty tough to be gay with shoes that attach to big metal spikes.
Well.... I think that depends on what you're into. :shock:
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oafy
Feb 11, 2005, 7:50 PM
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You laugh at people with NorthFace Parkas, and wonder why they have such a nice jacket and never use it for what its made for, plus look at your own jacket and being F$%# I wish I could afford to own that.
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timmy_t
Feb 11, 2005, 8:58 PM
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You have ever been naked at Chasm View in December, voluntarily.
www.climbingboulder.com/rock/db/rmnp_alpine/the_diamond___long_s_peak/
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jimdavis
Feb 12, 2005, 5:34 AM
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In reply to: You might be an alpine climber if you choose peaks over sex. Never mind. . .that just makes you stupid.
PHEW! I thought I might not be cut out for Alpine stuff there for a second.
Cheers,
Jim
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cgailey
Feb 12, 2005, 6:50 AM
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If your idea of a warm nights rest is in a snow cave....
If your silverware consists of titanium sporks and the occasional oversized permaware spoon
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akclimber
Feb 12, 2005, 8:19 AM
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Your pot isnt dirty from cooking any REAL food in it. :lol:
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cgailey
Feb 12, 2005, 10:33 AM
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In reply to: Your pot isnt dirty from cooking any REAL food in it. :lol:
Yes, my pot cooks only water....and the occasional couscous....;)
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anykineclimb
Feb 12, 2005, 11:36 AM
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Posts: 3593
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your weekend climbing trip "menu" consists of 2 handfuls of GU packets
You actually use the headlamp clips on your helmet.
You buy a 50# bag of dog food for training weight in you pack
and you don't even own a dog
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