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bmxer
Mar 7, 2005, 6:21 AM
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Registered: Feb 13, 2005
Posts: 220
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"Oh yeah, feel that crack up."
"I can't feel you belaying me."
If anyone can think of more please post. Two just isn't good enough.
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ufdigga
Mar 7, 2005, 8:24 AM
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Registered: Feb 6, 2005
Posts: 36
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community forum?
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climbinginchico
Mar 7, 2005, 8:38 AM
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Registered: Mar 24, 2004
Posts: 3032
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"What's a cordelette for?" :roll:
This thread has been done a million times.
Do a search, and go back to riding your undersized bike.
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phatcat
Mar 7, 2005, 8:43 AM
Post #4 of 60
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Registered: Aug 30, 2004
Posts: 598
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"hey, i'll just belay you by standing on the rope!"
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jffknapp
Mar 7, 2005, 9:21 AM
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Registered: Mar 6, 2005
Posts: 8
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Oh look, a bear!
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nonick
Mar 7, 2005, 11:34 AM
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Registered: Oct 28, 2001
Posts: 174
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Is that a snake in the crack?
This has happened before..
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overlord
Mar 7, 2005, 12:05 PM
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Posts: 14120
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am i on belay yet????
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simplesoul
Mar 7, 2005, 1:23 PM
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Registered: Nov 10, 2004
Posts: 116
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"am I going the right way?"
"YES!!! UP!!!"
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jackhammer
Mar 7, 2005, 1:41 PM
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Registered: Dec 22, 2004
Posts: 255
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1. Woops
2. Oh Oh
3. Oops
4. Could you hold what you got for a second?
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azrockclimber
Mar 7, 2005, 1:42 PM
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Registered: Jan 28, 2005
Posts: 666
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"yeah, it's the climb with the bloodstain at the base"
alrighty then!??
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ropesologuy
Mar 7, 2005, 3:22 PM
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Registered: Feb 6, 2005
Posts: 23
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'oh shit my back is broken.......again" quoting Jack Tackle
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cchildre
Mar 7, 2005, 3:28 PM
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Registered: May 5, 2004
Posts: 671
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"How do you tie a figure 8 again?"
"motherf*&$ing, c*$sucking, fence painting, ball knocking, rusty trombone playing, whorebag of a route. Who bolted this?" all the while a group of cub scouts watches in amazement, they got their cursing badge that day.
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angry
Mar 7, 2005, 3:29 PM
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Registered: Jul 22, 2003
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I got herpes from her but it's OK, she's my sister.
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jammer
Mar 7, 2005, 3:36 PM
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Registered: Jun 25, 2002
Posts: 3472
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Oh Man ... I thought i just had to fart! :shock:
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j_ung
Mar 7, 2005, 3:43 PM
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Registered: Nov 21, 2003
Posts: 18690
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To your belayer:
In reply to: I've been waiting for the right time to tell you this and this seems like as good time as any. (insert confession here)
Conversely, the above is precisely the right time to confess transgressions to your climber. But it should look a little more like this:
In reply to: I've been waiting for the right time to tell you this and this seems like as good time as any. (insert confession here) Do you forgive me?
For the prefect moment, keep your eye on the leader's Screamer clipped to an out-of-the-way section of the rack. When he or she moves to grab it, start confessing.
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8flood8
Mar 7, 2005, 4:48 PM
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Registered: Nov 10, 2004
Posts: 1436
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so... i pull on the rope right?
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areuinclimber
Mar 7, 2005, 4:59 PM
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Registered: May 29, 2004
Posts: 436
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... hey can you finish this thing yourself? im late for a meeting..
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t-nutz
Deleted
Mar 7, 2005, 5:50 PM
Post #18 of 60
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The climber: hey do know that girl you were tring to get with last night
The belay: ya, but she didn't come home with me last night
The climber: I know because she went to my house
The climber: hey why did the rope go slack?
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galt
Mar 7, 2005, 6:01 PM
Post #19 of 60
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Registered: Jan 3, 2002
Posts: 267
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T-Nutz... yours was good, but I prefer:
Belayer: Hey, you know that chick you hooked up with last night?
Climber: Yea, dude she was HOT. We got trashed and she ended up at my place. Man, I didn't know a girl could be that rough in bed.
Belayer: Yea, that was my sister. Off belay.
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speedywon
Mar 7, 2005, 7:15 PM
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Registered: Jan 5, 2005
Posts: 182
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At the beginning of pitch 2-3, after the leader has just placed 1st piece of pro:
Belayer: This may not be the best time to tell you, but your rope is really looking freyed down here.
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bmxer
Mar 7, 2005, 7:27 PM
Post #21 of 60
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Registered: Feb 13, 2005
Posts: 220
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Good ones people, I just thought of this:
After the climber has reached about halfway up the sport route:
Belayer: "Hey dude, I've been reading the guide book and it said not to climb this route. The bolts are supposed to be really bad."
Climber: "Dude! You've been reading this whole time!?!"
Belayer: "Umm..."
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bmxer
Mar 7, 2005, 11:09 PM
Post #22 of 60
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Registered: Feb 13, 2005
Posts: 220
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"Hey dude, there's a native american looking fellow at the top of this route, and he looks PISSED."
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terragirl952
Mar 8, 2005, 12:13 AM
Post #23 of 60
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Registered: Mar 7, 2005
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climber: CRAP! HOLY MOTHER F***ING CRAP!
belayer: WHAT!
this actually happened to me, i being the belayer. Turned oyut the dude has just found out his water bottle was leaking. the team learder almost called the rescue people because he thought the guy was hurt. :shock: it was bad for me because the leader thought i had let slack in the rope.
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gunksgoer
Mar 8, 2005, 1:29 AM
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Registered: Sep 27, 2004
Posts: 1290
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"dude, i lubed your cams last nite, how do they feel?"
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labrat0065
Mar 8, 2005, 1:53 AM
Post #25 of 60
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Registered: Oct 6, 2004
Posts: 122
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In reply to: Good ones people, I just thought of this: After the climber has reached about halfway up the sport route: Belayer: "Hey dude, I've been reading the guide book and it said not to climb this route. The bolts are supposed to be really bad." Climber: "Dude! You've been reading this whole time!?!" Belayer: "Umm..."
i seriously can't stop laughing, the worst part is i know people like that
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