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pharmboy
Oct 20, 2005, 6:08 PM
Post #1 of 5
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Registered: Sep 26, 2002
Posts: 701
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Considering I didn't hit the $340million last night... guess I got to still work. Here's a list of the new protocol we now have to follow... what's next?!?! (warning... foul language follows below)
Subject: Another Memo
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: Human Resources
It has been brought to Management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of preferred new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
SO...
TRY SAYING
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF
When the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING
I'm certain that this is not feasible.
INSTEAD OF
No fucking way!!
TRY SAYING
Really?
INSTEAD OF
You've got to be shitting me.
TRY SAYING
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF
Tell someone who gives a shit.
TRY SAYING
Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF
Ask me if I give a shit.
TRY SAYING
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF
It's not my fucking problem.
TRY SAYING
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF
What the fuck?!?!
TRY SAYING
I'm not sure I can implement this.
INSTEAD OF
Fuck it, it won't work.
TRY SAYING
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING
Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF
Who the fuck cares?
TRY SAYING
He's not familiar with the problem.
INSTEAD OF
He's got his head up his ass.
TRY SAYING
Excuse me sir?
INSTEAD OF
Eat shit and die motherfucker.
TRY SAYING
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF
Kiss my ass.
TRY SAYING
I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
INSTEAD OF
Fuck it, I'm on salary.
TRY SAYING
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF
Shove it up your ass.
TRY SAYING
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF
This job sucks.
TRY SAYING
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF
Who the hell died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING
I see.
INSTEAD OF
Blow me.
TRY SAYING
Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF
Another fucking meeting!!!
TRY SAYING
I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF
I really don't give a shit.
TRY SAYING
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF
He's a fucking prick.
TRY SAYING
She's an aggressive go getter.
INSTEAD OF
She's a ball busting bitch
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pharmboy
Oct 20, 2005, 6:11 PM
Post #2 of 5
(1533 views)
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Registered: Sep 26, 2002
Posts: 701
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Damn.... opps! Will one of your wonderful mods move this to the correct forum... sorry, didn't realize where I was when I started it.
Commence spanking!
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rockhound71
Oct 20, 2005, 6:16 PM
Post #3 of 5
(1533 views)
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Registered: Dec 29, 2002
Posts: 225
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HA! Hilarious :lol:
Glad to see someone else is as bored as I am at work!
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chanceboarder
Oct 20, 2005, 6:18 PM
Post #4 of 5
(1533 views)
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Registered: Oct 6, 2003
Posts: 1348
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:lol: we could use this here in my office.
now off to community this needs to go.
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southtxtraveler
Oct 23, 2005, 1:15 PM
Post #5 of 5
(1533 views)
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Registered: Oct 22, 2005
Posts: 41
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http://www.erockonline.com/newforum/index.php?showtopic=640&st=45
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