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androids
Jul 7, 2006, 4:45 AM
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so which would you choose... im in a tight spot... a 6 week expedition to the bugaboos, or my girl who i love way too much, shes headed back to school in 8weeks and i wont see her for 3months.
just curious... im headed out on expedition and she wont come with. says she doesnt wanna wait for me at camp all day while "i stick my hands in some other crackb than hers"(her words)... it would kill me to loose her but id loose my head if i say no, any advice people???
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secretagent
Jul 7, 2006, 4:49 AM
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I'd go on the expedition.
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alaskazach
Jul 7, 2006, 4:55 AM
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i just had a friend get devorced over climbing, it is worth it go climbing man.
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sick_climba
Jul 7, 2006, 4:58 AM
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Well two sides here. First of all if you really love her then you have the rest of your life to spend with her maybe if thats where its going. So you might as well take advantage of your youth and live it up! If she really loves you she'll understand because this is your life you are a climber, in the same way you should understand that she is going to have things like school that are important to her to. Love always finds a way. or you could look at the other side she might be hurt that you are putting climbing before her when you don't have that much time. And she might feel like your time with her doesn't really matter ( most likly not but hey it happens). In that case maybe go on this expedition aother time, you have a lot of time to climb and maybe just a little with this person.
Best thing to do talk to her and ask her to honestly tell you wether she would be hurt or not. Look her dead in the eye, I beleive eyes are portals to the soul and all of a persons emotion truly lies in their eyes, so you will be able to tell if she is being completely honest.
just my 2 cents
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kantkatchme
Jul 7, 2006, 5:07 AM
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dude...go climb.
if she gets it then shell understand. if she doesnt...well that sucks
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ozoneclimber
Jul 7, 2006, 5:08 AM
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Ultimately what any of us say it doesn't matter, because you are the one that has to wiegh the options. I broke up with girl that I had been with for three years recently, and my climbing played a big part in that, plus it was our personalities.
Anyway, I think that if she truely does love you she will take climbing as a part of you, she'll take it as a part of who you really are. In which case she might be pissed that you're going on this expedition and not with her, but she'll get over it... Or she won't...
Just remember, those rocks are not going anywhere anytime soon, but she is.
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curtis_g
Jul 7, 2006, 5:10 AM
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6 weeks is a long time, but as long as you don't leave on a bitter note, those last 2 weeks should be the best of your life. I would go climbing, but that's me, to some people climbing is a fun hobby, not an obsession. The rock would never leave you because you wanted to take a 6 week vacation with your girlfriend. I think the rock loves you more.
If she loves you, she will understand that this is a very important life experience to you. If you want to go climbing, then she should understand that you love to climb and she should let you live your happy life without you having to second guess and ruin your trip wondering how she REALLY feels.
But then you have to ask youself a more important question. What do you really want to do? Do you want to go on an awesome climbing trip or do you want to stay home and spend some fleeting time with your girlfriend. Once you decide what YOU want to do, your loving girlfriend should understand your decision and accept it whole-heartedly.
But don't make any decision with doubts or unanswered questions. Whatever you do, do it without regrets and make a decision that you can be committed to.
I can understand how you feel. I'm leaving for college soon and my sweetheart will be 3 hours away back at home for two semesters but I keep spending weekends out climbing and backpacking. It's hard, just make the decision for yourself and if she loves you she will understand that it's what you need and what you love.
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grk10vq
Jul 7, 2006, 5:12 AM
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i'd stay with the girl if i were you.....the bugaboos are tough and you sound like a puss.
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blazesod
Jul 7, 2006, 5:27 AM
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Is there any chance you can take your trip while she is away at school?
(No, I didn't think so) Go climb! Then and ask her to love you for who you are.
I would regret spending 6 weeks with my girlfriend instead of following my dreams.
do nothing I will regret
-Miyamoto Musashi
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b.stach
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Jul 7, 2006, 5:36 AM
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If you have to ask, you are not serious about this relationship...go climbing. And from the looks of your profile, I'd say you are not at a point in your life where you are ready for a committed relationship yet anyway. Be honest, if you missed this opportunity, you would resent her for it.
IMHO, you need to have a heart to heart with yourself and then your gf. If you are both serious about each other, you will come to a compromise in which you both love and honor each other by putting the other's desires above your own - think you two are mature enough for that? This is what a committed relationship is about. If neither of you can see beyond your own selfish desires, you don't have a relationship worth saving... just an arrangment that provides predictable, mutually satisfying sex (if she is lucky, heh).
OK, I'm sure someone will suggest it is worth saving if the sex is good enough... lets not go there, people.
My wife suggests you climb for 4 weeks and take your gf on a non-climbing vacation for 4 weeks.
Hope this advice helps.
PS
I am happily married and still climbing.
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dingus
Jul 7, 2006, 5:36 AM
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Are you master of your domain?
DMT
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sliianna
Jul 7, 2006, 5:59 AM
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go climbing! 3 months is not a big deal in the big scheme of things. meet up after for a nonclimbing trip.
different people- different interests. you've both got to do what you love to do.
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ahwoo
Jul 7, 2006, 6:02 AM
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In reply to: i just had a friend get devorced over climbing, it is worth it go climbing man.
it's worth it if you want a divorce. i'll have to tuck that one into the memory banks.
i say go for the climbing. if she doesn't understand your passion for the sport, then go ahead and show her the door. granted, 6 weeks is a long time, but love is patient, no?
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squierbypetzl
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Jul 7, 2006, 6:18 AM
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You´re leaving for 6 weeks, and she´s leaving in 8, that still gives you 2 weeks to see her afterwards right?
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builttospill
Jul 7, 2006, 6:23 AM
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It really depends on the girl, your age and the relationship. Did she know this was something important to you when you got involved? Are you 18 or are you 26?
I've become involved in a serious relationship, and we see each other A LOT. She encourages me to go climbing though. I frequently say no, cause I'd rather see her right now, but she is always encouraging it. She wuld never stop me from going someplace, unless she was scared for my safety. She would miss me a lot and I would do the same, but she would want me to do it.
And I know that when I got back I'd take her someplace cool, we'd have a lot of fun doing other stuff, etc. I'm hoping to get her interested in climbing (she hikes and stuff now) so she can at least experience it somewhat.
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obsessed_newbie
Jul 7, 2006, 6:26 AM
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(from a girls point of view) I say if she loves you as much as you love her, she would understand how important this is to you and you should go...if she doesn't understand how great that crack is, r u sure you want her?
Either way, she should understand this is a great opportunity and its in your blood...you have no choice but to go. If she doesn't get it then i would reevaluate if you can be with somebody who knows so little about your passion. I personally would choose climbing over boyfriend in that case...but then again, he would jump at the chance and join me.
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omegaprime
Jul 7, 2006, 6:36 AM
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More or less echo what others have said -
Pro girlfriend
- The rock will be there for the next 100 years maybe, she might not.
- You can always go on another trip in your lifetime
Pro climbing
- If you have to ask others about your priorities, then most probably your gf is not important. Ditch her.
- If she doesn't understand, then she's not worth it. Then again if you can't understand her needs, the you're not worth it either. :lol:
So, which one has more weight dude? :wink:
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rock_junkie
Jul 7, 2006, 9:15 AM
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Get your ass in gear! Have one last horizontal ho down and head out to Canada!
PS dont forget to bring a Hustler; June was a great issue.
Happy Sending
Ryan
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mcgivney_nh
Jul 7, 2006, 10:24 AM
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dude, did you honestly think there would be a majority of people who said "o you bvetter stay with your girlfriend, because I wouldnt go climbing if I was you..."
This is a climbing website. Why don't you post on Oprahs website and see what kind of responses you get. (just a thought)
-Sean
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c4c
Jul 7, 2006, 11:34 AM
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Since its "just" a girlfriend I would say go climb. If you were married there is a whole 'nother level of comittment there and some other considerations need to be looked at but, at your stage in life I would say go climb! If she is still around when it is time to get married then marry her! your chances of going on climbing expeditions (most likely much shorter ones) will be better.
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reg
Jul 7, 2006, 11:54 AM
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a good women can be hard to find so....I was gonna say keep the girl but after reading your post and hearin what she had to say and think (about hangin around camp) she sounds to "high maintenance" - it's all about her! - move on
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rastafari
Jul 7, 2006, 11:58 AM
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I would go climbing. If she would have left me cause of that then ''be gone h*e!''
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noobpsykro
Jul 7, 2006, 12:16 PM
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climb, bro. if she loves you, she'll still be there, because she'll understand that you're a climber, and it's your passion. and honestly, if things fall apart (whether it's now or later), climbing will still be there for you.
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euroford
Jul 7, 2006, 12:18 PM
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wtf, go climbing.
besides, the girl needs to understand your future decision making patterns. get her started off right.
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rhythm164
Jul 7, 2006, 12:21 PM
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Climbing taps your wallet in a good way. My rack never got whiney about not being taken out to dinner. Go climbing.
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