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eminem
Jan 16, 2007, 10:26 PM
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His sequin jumpsuit reflected the flickering casino lights. The ice skates cut smooth lines in the ice, sounding like helicopter blades, as he delivered me my dinner of crackers.
It was two weeks before I realized the ice skater wasn’t real. I gradually woke.
The days passed slowly as I festered. I should be happy to be alive. The doctors told me I was a “miracle.” They had welded my body into a jigsaw puzzle of titanium rods. My mother was convinced that angels had caught me, but that it was the devil who had pushed me off.
Joshua Tree had maintained its normal winter weather: windy, cold, and miserable. Saturday, December 18th was an unusually good day. The sun shone warmly as the wind blew across the desert.
I ran up the formations around the campground, warming up for a redpoint attempt on a finger crack later that day. I was enjoying the uncertainty of onsight soloing, stepping into an insecure world where one’s emotional control outweighs the physical. I moved fluidly and felt solid as my momentum built.
The North Overhang slices across the top of Intersection Rock disappearing into the skyline as it skirts beneath a bulge below the summit. Memories of John Yablonski's naked ropeless ascent reaffirmed my belief that it was mere scrambling.
The beginning of the route went smoothly. A short hand crack led to a ledge where the route went out left to a roof. I moved out cautiously, feeling the jams. I sunk my hand in the crack around the corner of the roof and pulled over. I felt secure knowing I had sent the crux of the route. A hundred feet of space swam below me as I moved slowly up to the summit. I moved my feet underneath my body, a slight miscalculation. I started to barn door. My balance was suddenly gone.
I didn’t want to scream. I had too much pride. Death was imminent though and there would never be a more appropriate time. I wanted to survive. Seventy feet of air rushed by. A second later I hit a ledge. I was ecstatic and felt invincible. I started to sit up and promptly rolled off the ledge striking the ground thirty feet below.
At that moment, all I needed was to climb. I stumbled to my feet trying to walk it off. A seizure bolted through me and I started convulsing. My body crumpled into the ground. I tried to focus. I had onsight free soloed harder routes; I’d be fine. The crater I had made began to pool with blood. I heard the faint thud of a helicopter’s blades as I blacked out.
It was 381 days, seven surgeries, and eleven weeks in the hospital before I was able to climb the North Overhang again. My friend guided me up the route as flashes of my recovery came into my head. There was nothing inspirational about learning how to walk again. I relived the pain of the ordeal as I struggled past my previous high point.
I expected to find a panacea on the summit but the answer to my medical bills, the limp, and the haunting dreams have eluded me. The scars across my elbow, ankle, back, and skull draw permanent questions. Perhaps, if I keep ascending they will fade.
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http://www.supertopo.com/...msg=302512#msg302512
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James Lucas
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gunkiemike
Jan 16, 2007, 11:40 PM
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A poignant counterpoint to all the "soloing is great" writings out there.
Glad you survived.
Just one question - do you still solo?
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jsj42
Jan 17, 2007, 12:06 AM
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James, we met in Tuolumne this past summer. I too fell soloing 5.9. If only we could go back in time to those moments before we left the ground...
Your bro,
Josh
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flowin
Jan 17, 2007, 12:19 AM
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sorry to hear that you had the fall, and you are lucky to be alive! be alittle safe and enjoy the rest of your life.
Do you still free solo?
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bill413
Jan 17, 2007, 1:21 PM
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eminem wrote: an insecure world where one’s emotional control outweighs the physical.
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overlord
Jan 17, 2007, 1:26 PM
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wow, great story.
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wanderlustmd
Jan 17, 2007, 3:02 PM
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I'm really glad to hear that you are still walking and climbing. I'm not sure I would have been able to climb after something like that.....glad to see that you have recovered so well.
Best,
Matt
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cracklover
Jan 17, 2007, 3:37 PM
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Thanks for cross-posting this here.
An incredible story.
Glad you're doing, um, is "okay" the right word? Anyway, you seem to have achieved a crystal clear focus, and I'm sure that's helpful in moving forward. Thanks again for sharing.
Cheers!
GO
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eminem
Jan 17, 2007, 7:24 PM
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Josh,
Hope you're doing well and getting after it still.
I still solo but it's a different experience. Much of the pleasure has been robbed.
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reg
Jan 17, 2007, 8:08 PM
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eminem wrote: Josh, Hope you're doing well and getting after it still. I still solo but it's a different experience. Much of the pleasure has been robbed.
ummmm...........why? seriously, "if the pleasure has been robbed...." ?
i've always been against soloing. i really would like to understand your thoughts on returning to that side of our sport.
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eminem
Jan 18, 2007, 10:25 PM
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"Much", not all, of the pleasure has been robbed. There's something in soloing. It's difficult to describe and I'll leave the task to the more articulate but what's there is priceless.
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rendog
Jan 18, 2007, 11:22 PM
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eminem wrote: Josh, Hope you're doing well and getting after it still. I still solo but it's a different experience. Much of the pleasure has been robbed.
That's a shame man. Happy you're alive but I know what it's like to have the enjoyment taken away from you. Two close calls Ice Climbing and I don't have the same pleasure that was once there.
Keep it up man, never give up
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sjm915
Jan 18, 2007, 11:24 PM
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Awesome writting skills! Seriously.
Fall about 5 to 10 more times, and you could have a top selling book.
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socalclimber
Jan 19, 2007, 2:07 PM
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Hey James, glad to here you're doing better.
I was on SAR at the time and the one who called for your helicopter ride and aided with EMS and evac. You took quite a ride. Your recovery was impressive. Again, glad to hear your back on your feet and climbing again.
Robert
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notapplicable
Jan 20, 2007, 1:52 AM
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eminem wrote: There's something in soloing. It's difficult to describe and I'll leave the task to the more articulate but what's there is priceless.
I'm glad to hear your one of the few whose love of climbing recovered along with there body.
I dont think that "something" can be articulated, or explained to someone for whom an understanding of it is not a part of there default setting. My brother has never been able to convince me that there is great joy in playing Halo or Smash and he will never understand the brilliance ( not in the intellectual sense ) of a long and moderate solo. Some people are open to it and some arent, there's not much logic involved, it seems more physiological to me.
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healyje
Jan 20, 2007, 2:01 AM
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James and Josh,
You're both miracles - big dives, long recoveries, got back on the rock. I hope I'd be able to claim the same under similar circumstances but one never knows.
Kudos to you both.
Joseph
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