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coach
Sep 25, 2002, 5:19 PM
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Registered: May 11, 2001
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Three guys were returning home after a night of drinking when they ran off the road and were killed in the accident.
When they arrived at the Pearly Gates there was a backlog of a thousand waiting. St. Peter told them that the Lord had said they could return to Earth for 30 days while the backlog of souls cleared. The only catch was that since everyone thought they were dead they could not go back as themselves.
The first guy says "I always though dolphins were cool so I would like to be a dolphin". St. Peter snaps his fingers and the guys disappears.
The second guy says "I always wanted to fly so I want to be an eagle". St. Peter says "No problem", snaps his fingers and the second guy disappears.
The third guy is standing there with a big grin on his face and says "I want to go back and be a STUD". St. Peter says "No problem", snaps his fingers and the third guy is also gone.
Thirty days later the Lord calls in St. Peter and tells him that the backlog is taken care of so he should bring those three guys on up. He asks "Do you know where they are right now?".
St. Peter replies, "Well the first one is swimming off the north shore of Hawaii right now and the second one is at 3000 feet above the Grand Canyon so we can get them back soon". The Lords says "Well do you know where the third one is"? St. Peter replies, "No problem at all, I got him stuck between two sheets of dry rock in Phoenix, Arizona".
Climb On
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krack-head
Deleted
Sep 25, 2002, 5:54 PM
Post #2 of 8
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What's red white and silver, and walks into walls?
A baby with forks in his eyes.
[ This Message was edited by: krack-head on 2002-09-25 10:55 ]
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wildtrail
Sep 25, 2002, 5:56 PM
Post #3 of 8
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Registered: Jul 6, 2002
Posts: 11063
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What's red, white, and sprays out in chunks?
A kitten dropped in a wood chipper!
Steve
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frogirl
Sep 25, 2002, 7:15 PM
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Registered: Dec 19, 2001
Posts: 63
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aw, that's mean! who would kill a poor kitten. sorry, I'm really touchy on the subject of cats because my cats dying.Well she is 20 years old but still...
Funny jokes guys.
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pinnaclechick
Sep 25, 2002, 7:42 PM
Post #5 of 8
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Registered: Aug 7, 2002
Posts: 1890
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Two Mental Patients:
>
> Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim
suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom & stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he
now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged
because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses."
The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
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toobigtoclimb
Sep 25, 2002, 7:58 PM
Post #6 of 8
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Registered: Dec 14, 2001
Posts: 426
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What is black, and white, and red and can't turn around in an elevator?
A nun with a spear through her head
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wlderdude
Sep 25, 2002, 10:06 PM
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Registered: Aug 8, 2002
Posts: 1123
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What is the hardest part of eating vegetables?
Swallowing the wheelchair!
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deafclimber
Sep 25, 2002, 10:44 PM
Post #8 of 8
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Registered: May 4, 2002
Posts: 653
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who is playing baseball on halloween night ?
it is a bat.
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