I awoke this morning with the irresistible urge to be one with the gummbies. I wanna get all up in it, single pitch epics, cellphones, dogs, ropes tossed on my head while soloing, someone to blame my sunburn on, cut ropes, first time trad climbers, wanna be guides, etc...
So, I have a week (at a minimum) long trip coming up next week and I'm trying to find the biggest nOOb magnet I can. So far I've narrowed it down to the Gunks or Seneca but I'm open to suggestions.
10 hour or less dive time, high concentrations of people intent on getting me or themselves killed and all kinds of shiny gear in the hands of first timers are my only requirement. Also, I'm gonna want to climb with the locals so if you've only climbed in the gym but want to get on the real stuff, send me a PM. Dont worry if you've only ever used a GriGri, I've got an extra ATC and its basically the same thing, you just gotta keep one hand on the rope.
Make sure to write a trip report! With pictures of the dent that a cam made in your head when it fell on you... sunburned nose in the same picture is a plus!
My vote goes with Bubba City at the New, your choice of Sandstonia or the Beer wall. A quick runner up being Pilot Mountain in NC. Pilot would take 1st by a landslide but there's just not enough real estate there for enough massive groups to collect.
By itself no, but I think the vaseline lubricates it up, so that sand and dust can work it's way in and saw the core of your belay loop from the inside.
That's also why I don't let anyone step on my belay loop.
So hypothetically speaking, I'm mid route or higher, lets say Big Sandy ledge on Half Dome and I need my crotch area mercilessly stepped on and stomped on while getting told that I'm a bad boy and I deserve to be punished. I see this as an unavoidable part of climbing. Anyway, am I supposed to take my harness off first? Is that safe?
I hear Rumney is good for the sort of thing you are looking for.
Sport climbing is the minor league of gummby fucking, not to mention it being their home turf. There just arent enough variables, it kinda limits there potential for creating really memorable moments. Its gotta be trad.
Not to mention that Rumney is kind of a pile. Yeah, yeah I know, I dont klimb .12b so I can't appreciate the beauty of the place. Bla, bla, bla...still a pile.
So hypothetically speaking, I'm mid route or higher, lets say Big Sandy ledge on Half Dome and I need my crotch area mercilessly stepped on and stomped on while getting told that I'm a bad boy and I deserve to be punished. I see this as an unavoidable part of climbing. Anyway, am I supposed to take my harness off first? Is that safe?
No no. That'd be dangerous. Just take off your belay loop. Back yoursself up with a clove hitch to the grundle.
Seneca has gumbies? No wonder I feel so at home there.
Ooooo, you sound like just the man I need.
{hands WVU and ATC, points at brake end of rope with a clenched fist, takes blank look on face as sign of understanding and commences to lead route...}
Sport climbing is the minor league of gummby fucking, not to mention it being their home turf. There just arent enough variables, it kinda limits there potential for creating really memorable moments. Its gotta be trad.
Very true. Also, trad tends to have more gumbies, because sport almost always requires that you be able to climb AT LEAST 5.8 moves between boltz.
Trad, on the other hand, can enable an overweight gear-whore to think he/she can sew up a 5.2, or whip on a 5.4.
Now, see, you're leaving out a lot of really high gumbage potential locales like the Delaware Gap, Rocks State Park, Carderrock and Great Falls. Ya gotta create a formula that integrates w (the places recently revealed in the climbing rags), multiplied by x (places whored out by F*ckon Press), divided by y (crags just published on Supertopo/Dr. Topo) raised to the power of z (anything within a three-hour drive of the biggest- and most-poser/"expert"-staffed gyms of NoVa, the District, and MD).
To be fair, you'd probably need to include a variable for road-trippin' wannabes with a full rack of color coordinated draws and shiny new Link Cams (who've never placed a wired stopper- or a cam- in their lives), dressed in matching Prana/Verve and walking up to the crag in Tevas, driving the latest fusion vehicle with a back glass fulla digme stickers and one of those Yakima bling coffins that screams "I'm a rock climber, break into my car!" who think they're roughing it if they can't get soy milk, Starbucks, internet service and vegan food for every meal and will fight to the death to take their unleashed voted-best-crag-dogs anywhere, anytime, calling you a Nazi bigot anti-environmental hater if you even hint that they shouldn't.
But I'm not sure where you'd insert that in the equation. Not a problem, tho... I'm sure the individuals indicated would take care of insertion... they seem to do so pretty well at every crag I've ever visited that lay within fifteen minutes of the road.
What is an ATC? I only have a petzl grigri because it automaticly lock when someone falls. I find this really helpful because I'm rarely paying any attention. Also, how can you tell which end is the brake end? That always confuses me.
The break end is the part of the climber that makes contact upon impact....
Gear climbing certainly has more...colorful...gumbyism, what with all the clanking gear tinkling up the trails and such, that's true. Sport climbing, like a less glamorously plumed female bird, is nonetheless fully capable of incredible displays.
I'm thinking nothing says gumby better than a dogging pull me show as some 5.9 sportie clawing their way up a 5.12 route, huffing, puffing, grunting, groaning and making primal screams every time they attempt to find their wings...
And the droppage factor that occurs between the communication difficulties of the words "lowering" and "rapping." I mean - they both end in "ing," so it's easy to see how the confusion can arise....
I don't like rapping. I'm more of a bluegrass fan. In the future can you please use less big words/intelligence. You are really startin to vag up this sausage-fest. Thanks.
I hear Rumney is good for the sort of thing you are looking for.
Nahh...Now, don't me wrong, there are plenty of Gumbies up there, but not very many epics. You have to be a true moron to F up single pitch sport. And usually all them are concentrated in one or two areas.
I vote for the GUnks, since I have never been to Seneca. Lots of first time tradders, shiny gear, guide wanna-bes, gym star turned leader overnight, with tons of moderately graded climbs to last a lifetime. It has it all!
Now, I love the climbing there, and never have a problem avoiding climbs that are Gumby magnets, but they are always there.
The break end is the part of the climber that makes contact upon impact....
Well played!
Your a 100% right that the sportsters are capable of full on clustering and the death rate might actually be higher due to (as you mentioned) the higher rate of falls/lowers and the corresponding dropages.
Kinda reminds me of the time I saw a guy get lowered off a bolt hanger 2/3rds of the way up a 70 ft. route because he didnt want to leave a draw. Naturally he didnt have any extra biners (read: nonbrand new, high dollar biners) to leave behind. Why in gods name he didnt atleast rap instead (actually he might not have know how...seriously) of lower is beyond me but he was half way down before I saw what was happening, at that point all I could do was laugh. Oh and hey Ronin, this will make ya cringe but it was on BSC there at Franklin.
Still, when it comes to more bang for the buck, its gear routes all the way.
I'm thinking nothing says gumby better than a dogging pull me show as some 5.9 sportie clawing their way up a 5.12 route, huffing, puffing, grunting, groaning and making primal screams every time they attempt to find their wings...
...or perhaps the gear climbing equivalent: a seasoned “vet” that peaked out in their climbing career at 5.6 ledge hopping and yet looks down on 5.11 sport climbers having a go at 5.12.
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