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northcave
Jul 2, 2008, 4:40 PM
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Just looking to get into Aid and just curious. You're on a big wall, theres not room for you and a turd on your portaledge.
Discuss
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lambone
Jul 2, 2008, 4:50 PM
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you do what you gotta do man, you'll figure it out.
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northcave
Jul 2, 2008, 4:52 PM
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lambone wrote: you do what you gotta do man, you'll figure it out.
yeah i mean it gotta happen but free falling turd has gotta hurt. Especially if you'ven been on the peanuts.
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lambone
Jul 2, 2008, 4:54 PM
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freefalling turds are not acceptable, pack it up and out.
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northcave
Jul 2, 2008, 5:07 PM
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hahaha
i'm gonna get a t-shirt made
front:
"freefalling turds are not acceptable"
back:
"pack it up and out"
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brianinslc
Jul 2, 2008, 5:31 PM
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northcave wrote: Just looking to get into Aid and just curious. You're on a big wall, theres not room for you and a turd on your portaledge.Discuss
Ever see folks with a dog pick up dog poo? You can do the same thing on a ledge. Turn the bag inside out on your hand, poop in your hand, turn the bag back in, clean up with a wet wipe, good to go (so to speak).
With one of the WAG bag kits (Restop 2 is my favorite), pretty easy.
Or, you can just hang the bag below you and aim.
-Brian in SLC
(This post was edited by brianinslc on Jul 2, 2008, 5:32 PM)
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dingus
Jul 2, 2008, 5:45 PM
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Don't play the bombadier game with a paper bag sitting betwixt yer feet on yer bedding. Your aim will let you down.
Rather, hunch over with paper bag in hand, held firmly (not not too firmly mind you, don't want'r to rip with a load therein) sealed around your pale ass. Hard to miss the target zone then.
Wrap it up and stick'r in the poop tube.
Screw the damn lid on that contraption ASAP WILL YA? Yer killin me over here.
Funny side story (don't throw yer shitbags in a dumpster when you get down either!)
My buddy Kevin and I came down from a Yosemite wall with a tube well-stuffed. We're both environmentally sensitive enough not to toss that shit in the garbage nor dump the stained and smashed paper bags in a latrine (VERY UNCOOL).
We're also not the kind to pick our shit out of wet paper bags either, mind you.
Nor did we possess EPA Hazmat equipment, nor blue bags.
So we ambled over to the RV sewage tank dump. No one was around so we uncrewed the cap to the tank, whence the RVers stick their drain hoses in the hole in the ground?
Sitting there on the concrete apron of the septic tank we disasseble the poop tube and using a handy stick push the contents out.
Mmmmm, smells good!
Then we started pushing the mushed up bags into the hole in the ground. But one problem Batman.... our poop tube had a slightly larger circumference than the septic tank hole - the smushed up bags wouldn't quite fit.
So there ensued this comical situation where we'd position a bag over the hole and then use the same stick to smush them into the hole, ramming them home like a bullet in a black powder rifle.
Or more like a cannon ramrod, haha.
Well, the bags aren't made of kevlar, they're rather composed of soggy brown paper. And they quickly breakdown when, um, poked.
So after ramming the 3rd bag in the hole I was nearly over come by the fumes and needed to be spelled. I gave the shit soaked stick (looked like a giant shit-dip-stick haha) to my bro and 'backed away from the hole' for some more wholesome air.
Keep in mind what we were doing is strictly illegal OK?
Anyway, as I stepped back I noticed a giant RV in the turn lane about to enter the septic station. So I uum, well I er, I (hehe) just stepped into the bushes, out of sight. I didn't bother telling my buddy either, he had a job to finish damnit.
By then my buddy had crammed the last of the bags in the hole, one after another like a shit-train, and they were all jammed up in there.
He needed some liquid plummer by god!
But all he had was that stick. As the RVer pulled in he spies my climbing mate ramming that stick in the hole in the ground for all he's worth, little klingons of shit sticking to it as he broguth it up each time.
Hahahahahaha! Imagine yourself in the driver's seat! What he had to be thinking???? Oh I howl to this day, LOL!
So intent was Kevin on completing his task he failed to notice the 50 foot RV idling behind him. Finally, distasteful task complete, he screws the cap back on the tank, screws the caps back on the shit tube and looks up to see a pot-bellied open-mouthed tourist staring at him though the windshield of his motorhome.
"Wassup Bro?" He smiled as he walked right past the driver's window, like nothing was the matter, like he did this sort of 'shit' every day, poop tube in one hand, shit-stick in the other.
Me? I'm DYING! Convulsions, I can't breathe, I can't even MOVE!. He hears me, sees me and says just as conversationally as he saunters back toward our gear -
"Dingus you BASTARD!"
Haha.
True.
DMT
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northcave
Jul 2, 2008, 5:50 PM
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dear lord thats funny... what have i started
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climbingaggie03
Aug 28, 2008, 3:39 AM
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So hilarious, I laughed so hard i cried! I have a question though, I thought you were supposed to put the bags in the latrine, if your not, where are you supposed to put them, although after reading dingus's account of their interaction with the tourist, I'm tempted to reenact it.
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chossmonkey
Aug 28, 2008, 1:56 PM
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lambone wrote: freefalling turds are not acceptable, pack it up and out.
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markc
Aug 28, 2008, 2:39 PM
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Dingus, this may trump your goat fart story from the wreck days.
I've cleaned up after a backed-up sewer stack overflowed in my basement, so I think I have an idea of the smell you were dealing with. There's nothing like seeing the olives from your housemate's side of the pizza post-processing.
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flipnfall
Aug 28, 2008, 8:48 PM
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lambone wrote: freefalling turds are not acceptable, pack it up and out.
Ditto!!!
I am NOT a fan of climbing near, on or in people's poo. Bring a few garbage bags and do it in the bag. It's bad enough that people pee and poo in parks with a port-a-potty nearby. It's common courtesy to bring bags to haul it out. If that sounds too rough for some people, then they should climb in those situations. I'm assuming that you're probably in the more polite category because you're bothering to ask rather than just assume that it's a "pee for all" fest up on the 10th pitch.
Thanks for taking the time to ask.
GT
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holdplease2
Aug 29, 2008, 4:39 PM
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One great way to do this was invented by Cybele B, a regular here in Yosemite.
Poo into a large brown grocery bag (you won't miss your target, scent and nastiness wont escape and it provides...fuel.)
Place this bag, rolled into burrito shape, in a mesh bag and trail it behind your pigs.
The bags will dry out, becoming much ligher in your haul, you can burn them in a Pre-Established fire ring on top of El Cap, check your local formation for regulations of fires, you may not be able to burn or you may be in an excessife fire risk area. If this is the case, just carry down your lighter poo loads in a garbage bag.
You can also separate your trash, burning the burnables, such as cardboard etc.
Again, not meaning to encourage fires where they aren't allowed!
-Kate.
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canterbury
Aug 29, 2008, 4:47 PM
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i'm guessing nobody cooks anything over that fire?
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holdplease2
Aug 29, 2008, 4:59 PM
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Haha...um, no. Although one night inearly October after topping out, I did enjoy the valley lit by an amazing full moon. Warming my hands over the fire I...
Realized just how nasty this was.
BTW - It is VERY important to use large grocery bags and extra trash if you have it. Just ask Dan Opp., who had the joy and pleasure of pointing a series of butane lighters at clumps that didn't have quite enough burnign material and which had been "re-moistned" by a mild storm before top-out. We did burn it all, soas to not leave a mess, but it wasn't a pretty. I was happy to be stuck with the ropes and pig packing as my summit job. :)
-Kate.
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ryanb
Aug 29, 2008, 5:00 PM
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From : http://www.backcountrygear.com/...mbdetail.cfm/MET7409
In reply to: Metolius' Waste Case disposal system makes waste elimination on big walls a breeze! Metolius held a naming contest last summer to name their big-wall disposal system and "Waste Case" won. Here are some of the other entries: The Crapsule, Orange Poop-sickle, Number 2 Bag, Coiler Can, Sooper Pooper, Safe Deposite Box, The Vault, Stool Tool, The Dumpster, The Crap Chute, The Log Jam, The Honey Bucket, El Crapitan, The Toilenator, Devil's Tower, #2 Friend (a good one), South Chute, Sharma's Last Move, Lil' Squirt, El Pupero Chico, Lunch Sack (sick), Business Bucket, Tube of Doom, The Drop Zone, Master Cylinder, The Grand Poo Bah, Hershey Haul Bag, B.D. Crapalot, The Hung Bung, The Loo, The Ranger's Lunch Bag. |
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climbingaggie03
Aug 29, 2008, 5:17 PM
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That is effing hilarious!
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ncclimber
Oct 24, 2008, 11:57 PM
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I use gallon ziplocks (easier to hit) with a little blue crystal cat litter in each for the smell. All I smelt was crap all the way down with the metolius poo powder.
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thatguyat99
Oct 25, 2008, 12:13 AM
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That's some funny shit...
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tedde
Oct 26, 2008, 9:08 PM
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flipnfall wrote: lambone wrote: freefalling turds are not acceptable, pack it up and out. Ditto!!! I am NOT a fan of climbing near, on or in people's poo.
About ten years ago a friend to me were doing a one day ascent of the swedish route on Norways Troll wall. At the end of one of the middle pitches he was running up a corner and jumped up, landing sitting at the belay ledge. After putting in two pieces and putting his partner on belay he felt the smell. He had landed in the remainings after a prevuis party. There was no time to do anything about it as clock was running away. On the descent it started to get dark and chances to hitch a ride were decreaseing. At the same moment they reached the road they managed a car (the only on the road) and had completley forgotten the poo. It didnt take long before the lady in the frontseat opened the window.
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robbovius
Oct 28, 2008, 4:10 PM
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ryanb wrote: From : http://www.backcountrygear.com/...mbdetail.cfm/MET7409 In reply to: Metolius' Waste Case disposal system makes waste elimination on big walls a breeze! Metolius held a naming contest last summer to name their big-wall disposal system and "Waste Case" won. Here are some of the other entries: The Crapsule, Orange Poop-sickle, Number 2 Bag, Coiler Can, Sooper Pooper, Safe Deposite Box, The Vault, Stool Tool, The Dumpster, The Crap Chute, The Log Jam, The Honey Bucket, El Crapitan, The Toilenator, Devil's Tower, #2 Friend (a good one), South Chute, Sharma's Last Move, Lil' Squirt, El Pupero Chico, Lunch Sack (sick), Business Bucket, Tube of Doom, The Drop Zone, Master Cylinder, The Grand Poo Bah, Hershey Haul Bag, B.D. Crapalot, The Hung Bung, The Loo, The Ranger's Lunch Bag.
OMFG that's funny! I am cryin' heah!
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altelis
Oct 28, 2008, 6:21 PM
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wait, can we talk about how metolius picked waste case over hershey haul bag!?!?!?!?!?!
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anthonymason
Oct 29, 2008, 3:50 AM
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Leave the EX-lax at home, just eat beans and canned chicken and you will be fine, the turds will be soft and easy to crap out.
Basically crap into a piece of foil or non- wax paper if you don't won't to recycle the foil.This will work best if you are not freehanging in space.
Wrap the soft turd like a burrito and stuff it into you're shit tube(works best with foil).
Just remember not to wipe with the foil, because paper cuts hurt, but foil cuts can take off you're scphinter.
Foil is the best, it will basically preserve the turd forever, and in few thousand years a lucky scientist will find it and procliam this turd went up El CAP
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sparky
Nov 24, 2008, 1:07 AM
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As a good buddy of mine once told me the morning of day 2, when I was reluctant to get out of my cozy sleeping bag...
"You know what day two on a wall is all about?"
"Nope."
"Getting psyched again, then trying not to shit your pants"
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