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cuber


Feb 21, 2009, 6:58 PM
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marriage and climbing
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Not even sure if I would get answers here or whether its appropriate to post here..
Started climbing about a year back in the gym and got hooked onto it doing 2/3 times a week. Planning to finally boulder outside in the coming days..
In the meanwhile fell in love with a woman-shes not into climbing-- but thats ok as I love her..
Fast forward- we are planning to get married... The only thorn seems she thinks I love climbing too much and thinks I should cut down on it.
I was thinking of getting a finger board and boulder a few times a month outside, but am afraid I will lose touch.
Has anyone been through a similar situation-- how the hell did you adjust...


rhythm164


Feb 21, 2009, 7:01 PM
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Re: [cuber] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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I ditched her


(This post was edited by rhythm164 on Feb 21, 2009, 7:01 PM)


caliclimbergrl


Feb 21, 2009, 7:01 PM
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Re: [cuber] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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You're only climbing in the gym and thinking about bouldering outside? And she's already saying you're too into it!! I don't mean to sound rude, but I don't even think of climbing in the gym as climbing. It's just what I do to get me through the winter and hang out with my friends. I climb outside just about every weekend when I'm working and when I have summers off (I'm a teacher) I usually climb outside all day just about every day. If my boyfriend (who's not a climber) had a problem with that, we probably wouldn't be together.

You really don't climb very much by climbers standards.


subantz


Feb 21, 2009, 7:04 PM
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Re: [cuber] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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Get rid of the chick man. She's starting the training process on you. Run, Run fast. Pretty soon your going to be washing her clothes and doing her chores while she's out spending your money on her nails and Gucci bags.


brownie710


Feb 21, 2009, 7:20 PM
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Re: [cuber] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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if her feelings are an issue for you and your seeking advice on Rc.com instead of addressing this with her your relationship with her, and all future ones are doomed...so go climbing... outside, with a rope and harness and pro


Sin


Feb 21, 2009, 7:27 PM
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Re: [subantz] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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Wait till you start buying gear and shit! ohhh then its gonna be a lot of bs. I tell my wife that it's just like going to one of those lame ass bally/24 hour gyms and she doesn't bother much. I make it out at least once a week, too. Ask her if she would rather prefer you being drunk in bar, or mesmerized at watching tig ol bitties in some bitty joint,lol.


jeepnphreak


Feb 21, 2009, 8:04 PM
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Re: [cuber] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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Well you have a choice
either dump her. Shes bad for your climbing addicition

OR

do what I did, turn you girl in to a fellow dirt bager. Now I my wifey almost as adicted as me.
She was susposed to be studying for an exam for monday, but she helped me tackle a 3 pitch today.


climbingtrash


Feb 21, 2009, 8:30 PM
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Re: [cuber] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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cuber wrote:
Not even sure if I would get answers here or whether its appropriate to post here..
Started climbing about a year back in the gym and got hooked onto it doing 2/3 times a week. Planning to finally boulder outside in the coming days..
In the meanwhile fell in love with a woman-shes not into climbing-- but thats ok as I love her..
Fast forward- we are planning to get married... The only thorn seems she thinks I love climbing too much and thinks I should cut down on it.
I was thinking of getting a finger board and boulder a few times a month outside, but am afraid I will lose touch.
Has anyone been through a similar situation-- how the hell did you adjust...

Yur DOOMED...I was married to a non-climbing chick...emphasis on WAS.


Hennessey


Feb 21, 2009, 8:31 PM
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Re: [subantz] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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subantz wrote:
Get rid of the chick man. She's starting the training process on you. Run, Run fast.

First she'll take climbing from you. Next she's gonna take your balls.


kmc


Feb 21, 2009, 8:43 PM
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Re: [Hennessey] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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Hennessey wrote:
subantz wrote:
Get rid of the chick man. She's starting the training process on you. Run, Run fast.

First she'll take climbing from you. Next she's gonna take your balls.

Or dont they both go at the same time?


N_Oo_B


Feb 21, 2009, 8:59 PM
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Re: [kmc] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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hook, line and sinker?


ditch her, or make her adapt.


curt


Feb 21, 2009, 9:42 PM
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Re: [cuber] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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Run away, run away...Cool

Curt


timd


Feb 21, 2009, 9:42 PM
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Re: [N_Oo_B] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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She is a control freak, if you don't ditch her now you will be on a leash.


N_Oo_B


Feb 21, 2009, 10:03 PM
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Re: [timd] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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I could rant on and on, but again...this seems to be a troll


slavetogravity


Feb 21, 2009, 10:27 PM
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Re: [cuber] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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Well as the wife of a climber (an avid on at that) I have been in your wife's position MANY TIMES!!! I don't climb and although I can understand the lingo, I'm not always the biggest fan. What she wants is to know that she is number one in your life and that climbing is just something that you do, not who you are. Don't try to convert her, it'll never work. find the balance and always put her first. It took me a while to figure out that climbing helps my man stay sane; in shape and happy. I'm sure she will figure it out too, with your help.

Cheers
Wife of Slavetogravity!


Hennessey


Feb 22, 2009, 5:31 AM
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Re: [slavetogravity] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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slavetogravity wrote:
Well as the wife of a climber (an avid on at that) I have been in your wife's position MANY TIMES!!! I don't climb and although I can understand the lingo, I'm not always the biggest fan. What she wants is to know that she is number one in your life and that climbing is just something that you do, not who you are. Don't try to convert her, it'll never work. find the balance and always put her first. It took me a while to figure out that climbing helps my man stay sane; in shape and happy. I'm sure she will figure it out too, with your help.

Cheers
Wife of Slavetogravity!

Nah, climbing definitely comes first.


static_endurance


Feb 22, 2009, 7:28 AM
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Re: [Hennessey] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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Well, she could be testing you, to see if you'll put her first. You could of course, but then again, not climbing sucks. Instead, turn it around and see if she can handle the fact that, though you guys may be spending the rest of your lives together, she's willing to put up with the fact that climbing is something you have to do to stay happy in life. Cause if she can't, sure you can still get married, but less climbing might make you miserable.

I definately know couples that make it work, and quite well. On the other hand, My girlfriend from a few years back stated "it's either climbing or me".

That ended for the better.


rockandlice


Feb 22, 2009, 7:36 AM
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Re: [static_endurance] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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Personally, I highly recommend to ran far and fast. If this is what you are getting BEFORE marriage, you're in for hell if you actually go through with it.


Azure


Feb 22, 2009, 8:02 AM
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Re: [cuber] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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Climbing is only the first thing she is going to ask you to cut back on.

All of my friends who used to climb and no longer climb have one thing in common..... You got it.


Partner angry


Feb 22, 2009, 8:36 AM
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Re: [Azure] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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I wouldn't marry someone who wanted me to stop doing something that fundamentally makes me me. And if I did stop, I'd fill the void with bike racing, take up even more time, a lot more money, and shave my legs.

Maybe you're not me. Do you love her enough enough to stop climbing?

Yep, run.


mturner


Feb 22, 2009, 9:22 AM
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Re: [angry] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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I had some issues with my girl for a while and I basically told her I love her but if she wants to spend time with me she's going to have to start climbing or hanging out while I climb...

...she's been climbing for over a year now Sly


Partner rgold


Feb 22, 2009, 11:44 AM
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Re: [mturner] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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I don't have any answers, but remember that relationships are complex. The woman in question seems to want to change they guy in some way, at least that's the way he's presenting it, and a number of folks are proposing that his response is to change her. Seems like everyone wants to remake their significant others into a better model, eh?

Well, maybe that works and maybe it doesn't. First of all, climbing is hard, strenuous, scary, and dangerous. You can't really get someone interested in it (for very long) if they don't have some intrinsic attraction to it. For others, it would simply be torture.

Second, it helps to be careful what you wish for. I see absolutely no evidence that climbing couples fare any better in life than couples in which only one person climbs. One member of a climbing couple may turn out to be a lot better than the other or, after an initial period of mutual infatuation with the sport, like it a lot more than another. Climbing provides a perfect context for exacerbating various general relation issues, enough so that some climbing couples I know don't climb with each other any more.

Whatever is really going on, I suspect that climbing is perhaps a symptom but not the real issue. The gf feels a bit insecure. The bf doesn't want to give up on a newly emerging passion. They have some things to work out there.

By the way, climbers and others with abiding passions can be incredibly crappy to their mates. My sympathies do not automatically go out to the climber in such circumstances.


k.l.k


Feb 22, 2009, 11:49 AM
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Re: [rgold] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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rgold wrote:
By the way, climbers and others with abiding passions can be incredibly crappy to their mates. My sympathies do not automatically go out to the climber in such circumstances.

Bingo.


mturner


Feb 22, 2009, 12:14 PM
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Re: [k.l.k] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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k.l.k wrote:
rgold wrote:
By the way, climbers and others with abiding passions can be incredibly crappy to their mates. My sympathies do not automatically go out to the climber in such circumstances.

Bingo.

then I question your dedicaiton Wink


i_h8_choss


Feb 22, 2009, 12:29 PM
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Re: [cuber] marriage and climbing [In reply to]
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non climber chicks are better in the sack.....and keep climbing man, if she loves you truley, then she'll have to get used to it.

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