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thenose
Apr 26, 2010, 1:54 PM
Post #1 of 17
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Registered: Feb 20, 2009
Posts: 47
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NOW YOU CAN ALL JOIN UP AND LISTEN TO MY AMAZING TRIP REPORT ABOUT THE FIRST FREE ACCENT OF BOLTS ARE FOR BITCHES, VII 5.14C/D A5+ (X) ON THE WEST FACE OF EL CAP. I FINISHED THIS AMAZING CLIMB IN A STRAIGHT MAN STYLE WITH A 47 HOUR PUSH WITH MY GOOD FRIEND BURT. WE SWAPPED LEADS AND COMBINED PITCHES ON A SINGLE 80M 8.6 MM HALF ROPE. BURT MANAGED TO ONSIGHT THE WHOLE LINE WHERE I ONLY TOOK ONE 125 FOOTER. PITCH 48, THE CRUX, INVOLVES CONTINUES A5+ HOOKING WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PRO FOR 170 FEET (NO I WASN’T SCARED, THANKS FOR ASKING YOU VAG) DUE TO THE EXTREME SKILL REQUIRED TO CLIMB THIS UNREPEATABLE LINE I WILL NEED TWO DAYS TO FINISH MY REPORT AND POST IT SO JUST STAY CHILL.
http://www.facebook.com/...036490.4070622989..1
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qwert
Apr 26, 2010, 2:03 PM
Post #2 of 17
(2112 views)
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Registered: Mar 24, 2004
Posts: 2394
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go away
you are not even funny ...
qwert
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rubber_man
Apr 26, 2010, 5:00 PM
Post #3 of 17
(2084 views)
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Registered: Mar 7, 2010
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yeah no.
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chadnsc
Apr 26, 2010, 5:30 PM
Post #4 of 17
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Registered: Nov 24, 2003
Posts: 4449
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thenose wrote: NOW YOU CAN ALL JOIN UP AND LISTEN TO MY AMAZING TRIP REPORT ABOUT THE FIRST FREE ACCENT OF BOLTS ARE FOR BITCHES, VII 5.14C/D A5+ (X) ON THE WEST FACE OF EL CAP. I FINISHED THIS AMAZING CLIMB IN A STRAIGHT MAN STYLE WITH A 47 HOUR PUSH WITH MY GOOD FRIEND BURT. WE SWAPPED LEADS AND COMBINED PITCHES ON A SINGLE 80M 8.6 MM HALF ROPE. BURT MANAGED TO ONSIGHT THE WHOLE LINE WHERE I ONLY TOOK ONE 125 FOOTER. PITCH 48, THE CRUX, INVOLVES CONTINUES A5+ HOOKING WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PRO FOR 170 FEET (NO I WASN’T SCARED, THANKS FOR ASKING YOU VAG) DUE TO THE EXTREME SKILL REQUIRED TO CLIMB THIS UNREPEATABLE LINE I WILL NEED TWO DAYS TO FINISH MY REPORT AND POST IT SO JUST STAY CHILL. http://www.facebook.com/...036490.4070622989..1
I'M NOT READING THAT.
F*@CKING NOOB.
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epoch
Moderator
Apr 26, 2010, 8:05 PM
Post #5 of 17
(2054 views)
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Registered: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 32163
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chadnsc wrote: thenose wrote: NOW YOU CAN ALL JOIN UP AND LISTEN TO MY AMAZING TRIP REPORT ABOUT THE FIRST FREE ACCENT OF BOLTS ARE FOR BITCHES, VII 5.14C/D A5+ (X) ON THE WEST FACE OF EL CAP. I FINISHED THIS AMAZING CLIMB IN A STRAIGHT MAN STYLE WITH A 47 HOUR PUSH WITH MY GOOD FRIEND BURT. WE SWAPPED LEADS AND COMBINED PITCHES ON A SINGLE 80M 8.6 MM HALF ROPE. BURT MANAGED TO ONSIGHT THE WHOLE LINE WHERE I ONLY TOOK ONE 125 FOOTER. PITCH 48, THE CRUX, INVOLVES CONTINUES A5+ HOOKING WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PRO FOR 170 FEET (NO I WASN’T SCARED, THANKS FOR ASKING YOU VAG) DUE TO THE EXTREME SKILL REQUIRED TO CLIMB THIS UNREPEATABLE LINE I WILL NEED TWO DAYS TO FINISH MY REPORT AND POST IT SO JUST STAY CHILL. http://www.facebook.com/...036490.4070622989..1I'M NOT READING THAT. F*@CKING NOOB.
CAPS LOCK = cruise control. It's not even like you're thinking about it.
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bill413
Apr 27, 2010, 2:45 AM
Post #6 of 17
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Registered: Oct 19, 2004
Posts: 5674
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epoch wrote: chadnsc wrote: thenose wrote: NOW YOU CAN ALL JOIN UP AND LISTEN TO MY AMAZING TRIP REPORT ABOUT THE FIRST FREE ACCENT OF BOLTS ARE FOR BITCHES, VII 5.14C/D A5+ (X) ON THE WEST FACE OF EL CAP. I FINISHED THIS AMAZING CLIMB IN A STRAIGHT MAN STYLE WITH A 47 HOUR PUSH WITH MY GOOD FRIEND BURT. WE SWAPPED LEADS AND COMBINED PITCHES ON A SINGLE 80M 8.6 MM HALF ROPE. BURT MANAGED TO ONSIGHT THE WHOLE LINE WHERE I ONLY TOOK ONE 125 FOOTER. PITCH 48, THE CRUX, INVOLVES CONTINUES A5+ HOOKING WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PRO FOR 170 FEET (NO I WASN’T SCARED, THANKS FOR ASKING YOU VAG) DUE TO THE EXTREME SKILL REQUIRED TO CLIMB THIS UNREPEATABLE LINE I WILL NEED TWO DAYS TO FINISH MY REPORT AND POST IT SO JUST STAY CHILL. http://www.facebook.com/...036490.4070622989..1I'M NOT READING THAT. F*@CKING NOOB. CAPS LOCK = cruise control. It's not even like you're thinking about it.
What? I couldn't hear you over all that shouting.
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hugepedro
Apr 27, 2010, 3:45 AM
Post #7 of 17
(2016 views)
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Registered: May 28, 2002
Posts: 2875
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epoch wrote: chadnsc wrote: thenose wrote: NOW YOU CAN ALL JOIN UP AND LISTEN TO MY AMAZING TRIP REPORT ABOUT THE FIRST FREE ACCENT OF BOLTS ARE FOR BITCHES, VII 5.14C/D A5+ (X) ON THE WEST FACE OF EL CAP. I FINISHED THIS AMAZING CLIMB IN A STRAIGHT MAN STYLE WITH A 47 HOUR PUSH WITH MY GOOD FRIEND BURT. WE SWAPPED LEADS AND COMBINED PITCHES ON A SINGLE 80M 8.6 MM HALF ROPE. BURT MANAGED TO ONSIGHT THE WHOLE LINE WHERE I ONLY TOOK ONE 125 FOOTER. PITCH 48, THE CRUX, INVOLVES CONTINUES A5+ HOOKING WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PRO FOR 170 FEET (NO I WASN’T SCARED, THANKS FOR ASKING YOU VAG) DUE TO THE EXTREME SKILL REQUIRED TO CLIMB THIS UNREPEATABLE LINE I WILL NEED TWO DAYS TO FINISH MY REPORT AND POST IT SO JUST STAY CHILL. http://www.facebook.com/...036490.4070622989..1I'M NOT READING THAT. F*@CKING NOOB. CAPS LOCK = cruise control. It's not even like you're thinking about it.
I don't know. They worked for THE LAST BASTION, and this guy is claiming he's partnered up with him.
Does BRONSON have a protege, or is this just a prank? We may never know.
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clymbrchk
Apr 27, 2010, 10:14 PM
Post #8 of 17
(1987 views)
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Registered: Mar 25, 2007
Posts: 115
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I <3 BURT BRONSON
(dreamy sigh)
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granite_grrl
Apr 27, 2010, 10:19 PM
Post #9 of 17
(1984 views)
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Registered: Oct 25, 2002
Posts: 15084
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thenose wrote: NOW YOU CAN ALL JOIN UP AND LISTEN TO MY AMAZING TRIP REPORT ABOUT THE FIRST FREE ACCENT OF BOLTS ARE FOR BITCHES, VII 5.14C/D A5+ (X) ON THE WEST FACE OF EL CAP. I FINISHED THIS AMAZING CLIMB IN A STRAIGHT MAN STYLE WITH A 47 HOUR PUSH WITH MY GOOD FRIEND BURT. WE SWAPPED LEADS AND COMBINED PITCHES ON A SINGLE 80M 8.6 MM HALF ROPE. BURT MANAGED TO ONSIGHT THE WHOLE LINE WHERE I ONLY TOOK ONE 125 FOOTER. PITCH 48, THE CRUX, INVOLVES CONTINUES A5+ HOOKING WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PRO FOR 170 FEET (NO I WASN’T SCARED, THANKS FOR ASKING YOU VAG) DUE TO THE EXTREME SKILL REQUIRED TO CLIMB THIS UNREPEATABLE LINE I WILL NEED TWO DAYS TO FINISH MY REPORT AND POST IT SO JUST STAY CHILL. http://www.facebook.com/...036490.4070622989..1
It's true, RC.com is on facebook, but there's no way I'm clicking your link.
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thenose
Apr 28, 2010, 10:08 AM
Post #10 of 17
(1946 views)
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Registered: Feb 20, 2009
Posts: 47
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chadnsc wrote: F*@CKING NOOB.
hugepedro wrote: I don't know. They worked for THE LAST BASTION, and this guy is claiming he's partnered up with him. Does BRONSON have a protege, or is this just a prank? We may never know.
GOOD QUESTION. YES I AM PARTNERED UP WITH THE ELITE BRONSON. AFTER BURT GOT OVERWHELMED WITH THE EXCESS OF NOOBEY 5.12 SPORT CLIMBERS HE HAD TO FIND A PARTNER TO HELP DIVIDE THE WORK LOAD. FOR A TOTAL OF 13 YEARS BURT TRAINED ME IN THE WAYS OF MANHOOD. THE FIRST FOUR YEARS OF MY TRAINING INVOLVED MOTIVATION TRAINING AT THE BASE OF THE GREAT TRANGO TOWERS. BURT WOULD REGULARLY FLY PENGUINS IN VIA HELICOPTER TO THE TOP OF THE TRANGO TOWERS. IF I WANTED FOOD FOR THE WEEK I WAS FORCED TO FREE SOLO THE TRANGO TOWER BAREFOOT TO GET THE PENGUINS. I THEN WOULD SKIN THEM ALIVE AND BUILD A GLIDER OUT OF THEIR SKIN TO GET BACK DOWN. I HAD TO DO THIS A SUM TOTAL OF 520 TIMES DURING MY TRAINING. THE NEXT FOUR YEARS INVOLVED STRENGTH TRAINING. BURT REQUIRED ME TO ONSIGHT V13 AND HARDER BOULDER PROBLEMS WITH SPIKES IN PLACE OF A CRASH PAD. HE SAID THE SPIKES WHERE THERE AS A CONTINUANCE OF THE MOTIVATION TRAINING TO FORCE ME TO GO FOR THE SEND.
THE NEXT FOUR YEARS INVOLVED ONSIGHTING TRAD IN THE 5.14+ RANGE AND DOING GROUND UP FIRST ACCENTS OF X RATED GRADE VII+ A5 OR HARDER AID LINES. OVER THE COURSE OF THE FOUR YEARS I PUT UP A TOTAL OF 97 NEW FIRST ACCENTS WITH 135 REPEATS OF PREVIOUSLY UNREPEATED LINES. ALL THE LINES WERE GRADED A5 OR HARDER. ANY PITCH GRADED A3 OR LOWER WENT AT MANDATORY FREE.
THE LAST YEAR WAS MY FINAL TEST. BURT SAID IN ORDER FOR ME TO ACHIEVE FULL MAN STATUS I HAD TO FREE SOLO ONSIGHT THE NOSE AND DOWN CLIMB THE ENTIRE LINE IN LESS THAN FOUR HOURS WITH NO WATER OR FOOD. I MADE IT WITH ONLY 7 MINUTES TO SPARE. THUS BURT AWARDED ME THE STATUS OF KING OF THE NOSE AND GRANTED ME THE PRIVILEGE OF CLIMBING WITH THE ELITE BRONSON.
FOR THE PAST 8 YEARS WE HAVE BEEN PUTTING GIRLS, 5.12+ TRAD CLIMBERS AND PUSSY 5.13 SPORT CLIMBERS IN THEIR PLACE BY DOING SIT START GROUND UP FIRST ACCENTS OF NUMEROUS 5.15 TRAD LINES AND X RATED A5+ LINES.
CURRENTLY BRONSON AND I ARE WORKING ON WHAT WILL BE THE FIRST 5.16 LINE IN THE WORLD. STAY TUNED. WE EXPECT TO REDPOINT THE LINE IN LESS THEN FOUR TRIES.
clymbrchk wrote: I <3 BURT BRONSON (dreamy sigh)
I WILL TELL HIM YOU SAID THAT. DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS?
granite_grrl wrote: It's true, RC.com is on facebook, but there's no way I'm clicking your link.
THAT’S UNDERSTANDABLE, YOU’RE A GIRL. IT’S NORMAL FOR GIRLS TO BE AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN. BUT THE LAST BASTION TEACHES ONE TO EMBRACE THE UNKNOWN AND TO PUSH FORWARD WITH ALL GUNS BLAZING. HOW ELSE DO YOU THINK WE ONSIGHT 5.14?
REMEMBER CLIMBING IS A MANS SPORT. GIRLS AND PUSSY MEN NEED NOT PARTICIPATE. UNTIL NEXT TIME, THE NOSE OUT.
(This post was edited by thenose on Apr 28, 2010, 10:13 AM)
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macherry
Apr 28, 2010, 3:03 PM
Post #11 of 17
(1920 views)
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Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 15848
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you sir are no burt bronson
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edge
Apr 28, 2010, 3:36 PM
Post #12 of 17
(1914 views)
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Registered: Apr 14, 2003
Posts: 9120
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macherry wrote: you sir are no burt bronson
Not even close. BURT wouldn't tolerate editing.
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hugepedro
Apr 28, 2010, 3:40 PM
Post #13 of 17
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Registered: May 28, 2002
Posts: 2875
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thenose wrote: THE LAST YEAR WAS MY FINAL TEST.
Are you sure? I figured your final test would go something more like this . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynAzBVsWXUI
Because after all, "This isn't about sex, it's about trust".
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chadnsc
Apr 29, 2010, 2:41 AM
Post #14 of 17
(1887 views)
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Registered: Nov 24, 2003
Posts: 4449
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thenose wrote: chadnsc wrote: F*@CKING NOOB. I UNDERSTAND. YOU ARE JEALOUS OF MY EXTREME SKILL. THAT’S OKAY ITS NATURAL. IF SOMEONE I KNEW CLIMBED FOUR NUMBER GRADES HARDER THEN I DID I WOULD BE JEALOUS TOO.
BUT YOU DON'T CLIMB FOUR NUMBER GRADES HARDER THAN ME; YOU JUST SAY YOU DO.
F*@CKING NOOB.
edit to add:
YOU DON'T DESERVE TO EVEN MENTION BURT'S NAME YOU F*@CKING NOOB.
(This post was edited by chadnsc on Apr 29, 2010, 2:43 AM)
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rubber_man
Apr 29, 2010, 6:05 AM
Post #15 of 17
(1877 views)
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Registered: Mar 7, 2010
Posts: 273
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Do we need to take you somewhere to relax and unwind, or damage something? Either way it'll help with the anger. 
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j_ung
Apr 29, 2010, 5:45 PM
Post #16 of 17
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Registered: Nov 21, 2003
Posts: 18690
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Meh. Call me when Facebook is on RC.com.
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jt512
Apr 29, 2010, 6:01 PM
Post #17 of 17
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Registered: Apr 12, 2001
Posts: 21904
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thenose wrote: FOR A TOTAL OF 13 YEARS BURT TRAINED ME IN THE WAYS OF MANHOOD.
Too bad he didn't teach in the ways of humor. Give it up. You're not even remotely funny.
Jay
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