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'THE' Big Wall Spoon
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copperhead


Dec 22, 2002, 12:33 AM
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'THE' Big Wall Spoon
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Another atifact from the copperhead files:


Got a stylee big wall eating utensile?

Yes, 'THE' Wall Spoon is a truly fashionable item; when venturing upon the largest of stones, be sure you are prepared. (You can still eat your 'Chef Boooy I'm Hungry' at home with it, kids.)

While trying to return my faithful wall spoon to its rightful stuff sack one night on the water wall, I miss-placed the unit, it bounced off the inner portaledge tubing and slipped between my ledge and the wall. Silence. Dink. clank...clank...tink..tink. Yup, it was gone.

"Dude, what was that?"
"Uhhh. My wall spoon..."

Yup; A5 stamp, clip-in loop and crust, it was gone. My guess is that it already has a proud new owner; otherwise, it's hiding at the base, waiting for the next big-wall-booty seeker. It was a good spoon.


The beginnings:
Wall Master JMIV decided that the well-equipped wall climber must carry a proper eating utensil to be proper on a wall. The first spoons (notice I don't say original because he probably has something up his sleeve) were stamped with two separate stamps; 'A' and '5', just as the corner pieces of portaledges were stamped. 'Custom' to say the least. As time, refinement, and technology would prevail, each received its own trademark. The A5 Beak and the BWS were hand (trust me) stamped with the classic 'A5 with a circle around it' logo. This was a considerable revolution in hand-stamping-logo technology. The portaledge corners (once copper plumbing corners) were milled with 'A5' on the sides (vs. the original hand stamps). These corners were much sleeker.

Anyway, legend has it that Dr. A5 has crates full of such wall spoons and seeks willing wall-willies to stamp these many spoons. If you can contact him, maybe he will set you up. I have two left, and trust me, I'm gonna' hold on to 'em! The best in big wall style (but bring your SAN) and the best for big wall chow, you've got to get one.

A ridiculous bit of trivia:

I stamped and I stamped and we stamped and we stamped and I got bored of stamping so I stamped one (and only one) beak with two (yes 2) A5withthelogo stamps. There were 2000 beaks. They went to heat treatment. They came back. We swaged and we swaged and I swaged and I swaged. Where was the sacred beak? Have you seen the sacred beak, I asked? No one had seen it. I swaged and I swaged and ...!!!... there, there was the sacred beak!!! Yes. It had gone to heat treatment and survived and there it was, the sacred beak. I swaged it with a perfect swage and took it home (I paid for it), home to the place for the perfect beak. The perfect beak it is.

If you have read this far, my apologies.


-----Grab a soup spoon at the cafe and be on your way. That is the moral of the story.-----

[ This Message was edited by: copperhead on 2002-12-22 00:56 ]


climbsomething


Dec 22, 2002, 1:18 AM
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Copperhead,

I am not a wall climber. I am, in fact, a sport climbing "woosie" (at least, currently). But still, I am finding your anecdotes here wicked entertaining! Keep 'em up


passthepitonspete


Dec 22, 2002, 5:09 PM
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[Point]clarification - she is actually a sport climbing hottie.]

Bryan is a familiar [or should I say "notorious"?] Yosemite Wall Rat, and you can tell he "gets it" just by looking at the bold text in his post.

My Big Wall Spoon has been with me since my first post-divorce renaissance trip back in '95. It's some big ol' soup spoon I grabbed from the kitchen, and to which I tied a hunk of 3mm clip-in cord.

While true aficionados might actually drill a hole in their Big Wall Spoon in order to tie the cord on, I instead choose my usual way - a self-tightening knot that has been secured with duct tape.

While my Big Wall Spoon does hold some sentimental value for me, it wouldn't break my heart if I ever dropped it. I am far more attached to my Big Wall Cup, which is an old yellow plastic Tim Horton's coffee mug that I got no later than 1979.

Up until September of this year, it still had a piece of grey tape stuck to it that I used to identify it as mine when I went caving in Belize 23 years earlier. Man, that's some sticky tape, eh?

As for Big Wall Spoons - there is something you should know:

It is emphatically not cool to actually wash your Big Wall Spoon. The most you can and should do is wipe it on a serviette [that's "napkin" for you Merricans] after use. You might even wipe it on your pants.

Personally, I just lick the worst off of it, and let it dry. You can always recognize my Big Wall Spoon - it's the one with the bits of chili or tomatoe sauce sticking to it that you have to scrape off with your thumbnail the next day.

[I mean, you don't have to scrape it off with your thumbnail. You could use the end of your copperhead chisel, too. Generally speaking, I don't bother picking off the crusties. I'm usually too darn hungry to care!]

Cheers,

Pete

[ This Message was edited by: passthepitonspete on 2002-12-23 09:25 ]


alpinelynx


Dec 22, 2002, 9:09 PM
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Do not be fooled people. You too could have your own A5 Ghetto wall spoon for FREE. Here's the Better Way.

Steal spoon.
Drill hole thru handle.
Scratch "A5" on other side of handle.




spoon


Dec 22, 2002, 9:34 PM
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I have an awsome pack spoon. A massive plastic thing, it stirs serves and prods. It has a big nick in it where I dropped it off a small cliff (of course I went to get it) a bunch of holes drilled for weight (yes i'm that anal) and a giant bubbly scar where the handle was melted off and then reatached while it was still smoking (my buddy left it leaning against a hot pot rim). I would die without it, I have no doubt.


krustyklimber


Dec 22, 2002, 11:24 PM
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While it is OK to pick off the "crusties" it is not cool to pick on the "Krusty"...

A cool variation of the friends and nose joke...

Jeff


passthepitonspete


Dec 23, 2002, 9:28 AM
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Only a BWT would drill holes in his spoon to lighten it.

Next thing he'll tell us is he actually cleans his spoon.

Sheesh.


dirko


Dec 23, 2002, 9:53 AM
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...titanium spoon...Pale Ale...Curry Village...carrot cake...Pale Ale...Pale Ale...girls...talk...forget...spoon...Pale Ale...bed...spoon...gone.................



wonderbread


Dec 23, 2002, 11:35 AM
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And I thought this topic was going to be about a miserable night you spent with your partner. Wrong big wall spoon I guess.


kevlar


Dec 23, 2002, 11:53 AM
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i am saddened an sick to my stomach...i thought all the real wall climbers ate with their hands...

oh well...next thing i will learn...there is not santa claus


kevlar


Dec 23, 2002, 11:53 AM
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i am saddened an sick to my stomach...i thought all the real wall climbers ate with their hands...

oh well...next thing i will learn...there is not santa claus


eclarke98


Dec 26, 2002, 7:25 PM
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I still have some A5 beaks that have the A and the 5 stamped separatley, along with some with the A5 circle logo. I'm just curious, when was it that he switched the design?


elcapbuzz


Dec 26, 2002, 7:52 PM
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Great thread Copperhead.

Wwoooaaa, that rymed. Uuuhhh, cool topic... Bryan.

Yeah, I once had one of those "special spoons". Yep, I lost it too (either a partner ended up with it... or it hit the deck).

Now I use a fat LA. It works.... oh, and I open my cans with a KB. Serious.

LOL, Ammon


smallwallmonkey


Dec 27, 2002, 8:45 PM
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Ah yes, the elusive A5 spoon. I first came in contact with it last summer, when nanuk moved into huff house. It is the ultimate in spoon technology, and I wish so very much that I could own my very own. I used eriks many times, and it resided in my cabin/stuff sack more than he knew.

The can opener is genius, the scoop big enough for my hungry tummy, and th clip in loop o so convenient. Arrrrr....

max


atg200


Dec 27, 2002, 8:50 PM
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i love the big angle idea. i'm all set for my next can of dinty moore.


passthepitonspete


Dec 28, 2002, 8:43 AM
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Ammon writes,

Quote:Great thread Copperhead.

Wwoooaaa, that rymed. Uuuhhh, cool topic...

See? SEE? He's only been married a few weeks and look what's happening to his brain! [DDEL]

Quote:oh, and I open my cans with a KB. Serious.

Now I'm not sure if buddy is trolling here or not.

See, for those of you who haven't lived on the wall as many days as some others, there is a not-too-hard way to open cans with a piton, and a fiendishly hard way! It all depends on whether you are on a natural rock ledge or on a free-hanging portaledge.

If you are on a rock ledge, you can set the can on the rock, and open it with a piton - no worries.

But if you're on your portaledge and you try to hammer the pin into the can, about the only place you can rest the can is on the aluminum framework at the edge of the ledge, which totally sucks. The can rattles and you just can't get the pin to penetrate the can very well. I mean, you can, but it's not very easy.

If you're lucky, there will be a little flat rock ledge next to your portaledge - this I always try to find if for no other purpose than to set my beer can. [Note - I have a hanging beer can holder if such a ledge is not available]

And you sure can't turn the can sideways and hammer against the wall! All the stuff comes out the end of the can!

So DO TELL, oh Master Of Yosemite Walls, how do you open a can with a KB when you don't have a natural rock ledge? Is this Big Wall Theory, or is it Big Wall Fact??

Inquiring minds [with nothing better to do] wish to know.....

Note: I carry a Swiss army knife which built-in can opener - I can open a can in about ten seconds with no mess. Since I keep the knife assembly with me on lead, I can even enjoy a lunch of canned food in the middle of a solo A4 pitch by simply pulling up my Solo Tag Rack.





smallwallmonkey


Dec 28, 2002, 5:15 PM
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All that is well and good, but a can opener fits very well on the end of a spoon, and facilitates so easily the rapid transition from opening to eating, my main perrogative when handling such devices...

I wonder if maybe I could fashion a can opener on any old spoon. Has anyone tried this? Seems simple enough...

swm


climbhigher


Jan 2, 2003, 11:02 AM
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Hey!! who know's where get a wall spoon that has a can opener on one side and a spoon on the other side. It's a very Tricked out wall spoon. My wall partner has one and i am very jealous.


copperhead


Jan 2, 2003, 11:08 AM
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The A5 spoons were made by OLicamp. You can probably find one (or something similar) at a mountain shop or in some mega-catalog. Personally, I use my Swiss Army Knife to open my dinner; breakfast cans are usually just a pop-top.


iamthewallress


Jan 2, 2003, 12:37 PM
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I'm partial to the Swiss Army Spork emblazebed w/ "Yosemite" that they sell at the lodge store. It's heavy but so multifunctional.

And, once you discover the way of the Tastee Bite you'll never worry about a can opener again!


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