|
enigma
Jan 7, 2011, 3:04 AM
Post #1 of 37
(11668 views)
Shortcut
Registered: May 19, 2002
Posts: 2279
|
If you could find your climbing ideal significant other what would he/she be like?
It seems for example I meet a great guy he says he climbs and then he doesn't and we end up doing other activities and he doesn't want me to climb either.
So those ladies who have found it all in one person , climbing partner, provider, and friend shed some light to help solve this puzzle.
|
|
|
|
|
kiwiprincess
Jan 7, 2011, 5:29 AM
Post #2 of 37
(11646 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 26, 2007
Posts: 307
|
There's no such thing as perfect!
If you have kindness, understanding, friendship and find each other hot you'll work the rest out.
If a guy is outdoorsy you can teach him to climb, but be prepared to try his stuff too!
|
|
|
|
|
nessie
Jan 7, 2011, 3:33 PM
Post #3 of 37
(11619 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 21, 2010
Posts: 61
|
Ha, excellent questions there! Unfortunately I haven't got the answer but I do know that the guy who I am looking for should be just as mountain and climbing loving as me cause it is a fundamental part of my character and I have no intention of changing into another life mode for a relationship seeing as that would change me!
|
|
|
|
|
dan2see
Jan 7, 2011, 4:02 PM
Post #4 of 37
(11612 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Mar 29, 2006
Posts: 1497
|
With people, you cannot place an order, and expect delivery!
But I have the perfect wife:
She enjoys shopping, social, and work. She likes nature, but is afraid of heights.
I enjoy nature and the outdoors, and I study. I visit the mountains frequently for climbing, scrambling, and camping.
Together, we like entertainment and tourism. At home we find ways to treat each other, and we like each other's company.
So you see, it's great living together, and living separately. It keeps the involvement going, and the interest, too.
|
|
|
|
|
wonderwoman
Jan 7, 2011, 4:06 PM
Post #5 of 37
(11610 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 14, 2002
Posts: 4275
|
enigma wrote: climbing partner, provider, and friend shed some light to help solve this puzzle.
Provider, huh? I guess it depends on the dowry. For instance, if your parents give you goats as a wedding present, you may end up having no time to climb anymore because you have too many goats to milk.
Sorry, I could not resist. My partner has crazy a idea that someday I'll strike it rich so that he can become a kept man. He's delusional, obviously.
(This post was edited by wonderwoman on Jan 7, 2011, 4:07 PM)
|
|
|
|
|
lena_chita
Moderator
Jan 7, 2011, 4:13 PM
Post #6 of 37
(11605 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jun 27, 2006
Posts: 6087
|
Describe "a lady" first.
As far as I know, they don't come in one-size-fits-all pattern, either.
|
|
|
|
|
smallclimber
Jan 7, 2011, 6:29 PM
Post #7 of 37
(11584 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Nov 11, 2003
Posts: 301
|
Being a couple before you start climbing might help. My husband and I learnt to climb together,and it was just a natural progression from enjoying day hikes, to backpacking, to major treks, to non tehcnical mountaineering and then technical climbing. We never got very good, but as we are both similar ability we can climb togehter happily. It gives us a common interest and for the last 5 years most of our holidays have been climbing related. He is my perfect climbing partner, friend and sole mate, but the friend and sole mate bits were well established before climbing came along.
|
|
|
|
|
erisspirit
Jan 7, 2011, 9:27 PM
Post #8 of 37
(11556 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 15, 2004
Posts: 3770
|
I found a climber to date by peeling off a bouldering problem and spraining my ankle right in front of him :P
Talking over ice we found out we had a lot in common. He isn't perfect... neither am I... but so far we find a good balance together
|
|
|
|
|
clee03m
Jan 8, 2011, 7:41 AM
Post #9 of 37
(11525 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 29, 2004
Posts: 785
|
wonderwoman wrote: enigma wrote: climbing partner, provider, and friend shed some light to help solve this puzzle.Provider, huh? I guess it depends on the dowry. For instance, if your parents give you goats as a wedding present, you may end up having no time to climb anymore because you have too many goats to milk. Sorry, I could not resist. My partner has crazy a idea that someday I'll strike it rich so that he can become a kept man. He's delusional, obviously.
I'm married happily to a non-climber who supports me in every way including my need to climb, but I do pay most of the bills. But a belay bitch pal who pays your bills as your SO? Can't beat that, right? Hey, good luck with that search.
|
|
|
|
|
enigma
Jan 8, 2011, 8:53 AM
Post #10 of 37
(11518 views)
Shortcut
Registered: May 19, 2002
Posts: 2279
|
clee03m wrote: wonderwoman wrote: enigma wrote: climbing partner, provider, and friend shed some light to help solve this puzzle.Provider, huh? I guess it depends on the dowry. For instance, if your parents give you goats as a wedding present, you may end up having no time to climb anymore because you have too many goats to milk. Sorry, I could not resist. My partner has crazy a idea that someday I'll strike it rich so that he can become a kept man. He's delusional, obviously. I'm married happily to a non-climber who supports me in every way including my need to climb, but I do pay most of the bills. But a belay bitch pal who pays your bills as your SO? Can't beat that, right? Hey, good luck with that search.
Some women climbers do have babies and do work and climb and nurse their children. Without a significant other to be financially supportive how is this possible?
|
|
|
|
|
carabiner96
Jan 8, 2011, 3:24 PM
Post #11 of 37
(11502 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 10, 2006
Posts: 12610
|
enigma wrote: clee03m wrote: wonderwoman wrote: enigma wrote: climbing partner, provider, and friend shed some light to help solve this puzzle.Provider, huh? I guess it depends on the dowry. For instance, if your parents give you goats as a wedding present, you may end up having no time to climb anymore because you have too many goats to milk. Sorry, I could not resist. My partner has crazy a idea that someday I'll strike it rich so that he can become a kept man. He's delusional, obviously. I'm married happily to a non-climber who supports me in every way including my need to climb, but I do pay most of the bills. But a belay bitch pal who pays your bills as your SO? Can't beat that, right? Hey, good luck with that search. Some women climbers do have babies and do work and climb and nurse their children. Without a significant other to be financially supportive how is this possible?
Well, you just say they're working...
|
|
|
|
|
granite_grrl
Jan 8, 2011, 4:08 PM
Post #12 of 37
(11498 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 25, 2002
Posts: 15084
|
enigma wrote: It seems for example I meet a great guy he says he climbs and then he doesn't and we end up doing other activities and he doesn't want me to climb either.
|
|
|
|
|
wonderwoman
Jan 8, 2011, 7:08 PM
Post #13 of 37
(11487 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 14, 2002
Posts: 4275
|
carabiner96 wrote: enigma wrote: clee03m wrote: wonderwoman wrote: enigma wrote: climbing partner, provider, and friend shed some light to help solve this puzzle.Provider, huh? I guess it depends on the dowry. For instance, if your parents give you goats as a wedding present, you may end up having no time to climb anymore because you have too many goats to milk. Sorry, I could not resist. My partner has crazy a idea that someday I'll strike it rich so that he can become a kept man. He's delusional, obviously. I'm married happily to a non-climber who supports me in every way including my need to climb, but I do pay most of the bills. But a belay bitch pal who pays your bills as your SO? Can't beat that, right? Hey, good luck with that search. Some women climbers do have babies and do work and climb and nurse their children. Without a significant other to be financially supportive how is this possible? Well, you just say they're working...
Agreed! Housework & raising kids IS work. It's just as hard, if not harder, than your average day job & a whole lot more meaningful. It's just that no one values it so you don't get paid. A husband who works is part of a partnership rather than a fiscal sponsorship.
|
|
|
|
|
happiegrrrl
Jan 8, 2011, 9:01 PM
Post #14 of 37
(11478 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Mar 25, 2004
Posts: 4660
|
"If you could find your climbing ideal significant other what would he/she be like?"
I actually have found him; just think maybe he hasn't found me.
But, here's my ideal:
- Climbs harder than me, but happy to climb WITH me; seems to enjoy it and doesn't act like he's doing me a favor when he does.
- Actually is a safe, competent climber
- Strong enough emotional presence that I can actually be comfortable being vulnerable with them(Believe me, this has been an extremely elusive quality to find. I think I have met 2 men my entire life(that I have felt an attraction to) who I feel are emotionally stronger than I am.
- Kind
- Does not treat me with disdain or patronize me; considers my opinion/perspective valid even if it is one that differs from his
- Earthy sensuality
- Intelligence well above average
- Needs time to self and isn't clingy(I require an inordinate amount of time alone)
- Philosophical bent
- Has a sense of humor that is NOT focused on the pain, embarrassment/humiliation/deprecation of others
- Has TIME to climb that is not a squeeze job between work or other obligations
But -
It is important to not be too focused on looking for the "ideal," because we may not see/appreciate the "real" one when they cross our path.
And -
It is also important to keep the focus on ourselves. Instead of looking toward another to be "ideal," what am I doing in my life that is subpar, as a partner/potential partner to another. I have to admit, I am often shocked to see how selfish in my thinking I can often be.
(This post was edited by happiegrrrl on Jan 8, 2011, 9:03 PM)
|
|
|
|
|
nessie
Jan 10, 2011, 10:49 AM
Post #15 of 37
(11403 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 21, 2010
Posts: 61
|
- Climbs harder than me, but happy to climb WITH me; seems to enjoy it and doesn't act like he's doing me a favor when he does.
- Actually is a safe, competent climber
- Strong enough emotional presence that I can actually be comfortable being vulnerable with them(Believe me, this has been an extremely elusive quality to find. I think I have met 2 men my entire life(that I have felt an attraction to) who I feel are emotionally stronger than I am.
- Kind
- Does not treat me with disdain or patronize me; considers my opinion/perspective valid even if it is one that differs from his
- Earthy sensuality
- Intelligence well above average
- Needs time to self and isn't clingy(I require an inordinate amount of time alone)
- Philosophical bent
- Has a sense of humor that is NOT focused on the pain, embarrassment/humiliation/deprecation of others
- Has TIME to climb that is not a squeeze job between work or other obligations
Check, check, check....Pretty much sounds like every woman's ideal!!!!Unfortunately, havibng resigned myself to the fact that I am nowhere near perfect means that I understand that my (hopefully)future partner probably won't be perfect either....
|
|
|
|
|
blueshrimp
Jan 11, 2011, 2:58 PM
Post #16 of 37
(11336 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jun 24, 2008
Posts: 147
|
happiegrrrl wrote: "If you could find your climbing ideal significant other what would he/she be like?" I actually have found him; just think maybe he hasn't found me. But, here's my ideal: - Climbs harder than me, but happy to climb WITH me; seems to enjoy it and doesn't act like he's doing me a favor when he does. - Actually is a safe, competent climber - Strong enough emotional presence that I can actually be comfortable being vulnerable with them(Believe me, this has been an extremely elusive quality to find. I think I have met 2 men my entire life(that I have felt an attraction to) who I feel are emotionally stronger than I am. - Kind - Does not treat me with disdain or patronize me; considers my opinion/perspective valid even if it is one that differs from his - Earthy sensuality - Intelligence well above average - Needs time to self and isn't clingy(I require an inordinate amount of time alone) - Philosophical bent - Has a sense of humor that is NOT focused on the pain, embarrassment/humiliation/deprecation of others - Has TIME to climb that is not a squeeze job between work or other obligations
I found him!
And now you gals are going to hate me, cuz I'm marrying him in 6 weeks' time! 
To be fair, we didn't meet climbing. We met at work and when he said he climbed I didn't believe him and when I said I climbed he didn't believe me. So I guess we just *had* to climb together then to find out. But the point is, even though climbing is very important to both of us, it never was the center of our relationship. WE were.
So my advice to the girls: find the MAN you want to climb with, not the CLIMBER you want to convert into your man. Reverse the search, and you might be surprised at the results....
|
|
|
|
|
happiegrrrl
Jan 11, 2011, 4:41 PM
Post #17 of 37
(11325 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Mar 25, 2004
Posts: 4660
|
Yay for you, Blueshrimp, and congratulations!
|
|
|
|
|
erisspirit
Jan 11, 2011, 4:49 PM
Post #18 of 37
(11321 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 15, 2004
Posts: 3770
|
happiegrrrl wrote: But, here's my ideal: - Climbs harder than me, but happy to climb WITH me; seems to enjoy it and doesn't act like he's doing me a favor when he does. - Actually is a safe, competent climber - Strong enough emotional presence that I can actually be comfortable being vulnerable with them(Believe me, this has been an extremely elusive quality to find. I think I have met 2 men my entire life(that I have felt an attraction to) who I feel are emotionally stronger than I am. - Kind - Does not treat me with disdain or patronize me; considers my opinion/perspective valid even if it is one that differs from his - Earthy sensuality - Intelligence well above average - Needs time to self and isn't clingy(I require an inordinate amount of time alone) - Philosophical bent - Has a sense of humor that is NOT focused on the pain, embarrassment/humiliation/deprecation of others - Has TIME to climb that is not a squeeze job between work or other obligations
My guy is pretty much all these things. I guess I'll have to keep him 
He climbs harder than me on burly climbs, but I kill him on little crimpy delicate climbs... It's actually a fun dynamic because he can push me where he excels and vice versa.
|
|
|
|
|
wonderwoman
Jan 11, 2011, 7:34 PM
Post #19 of 37
(11300 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 14, 2002
Posts: 4275
|
blueshrimp wrote: happiegrrrl wrote: "If you could find your climbing ideal significant other what would he/she be like?" I actually have found him; just think maybe he hasn't found me. But, here's my ideal: - Climbs harder than me, but happy to climb WITH me; seems to enjoy it and doesn't act like he's doing me a favor when he does. - Actually is a safe, competent climber - Strong enough emotional presence that I can actually be comfortable being vulnerable with them(Believe me, this has been an extremely elusive quality to find. I think I have met 2 men my entire life(that I have felt an attraction to) who I feel are emotionally stronger than I am. - Kind - Does not treat me with disdain or patronize me; considers my opinion/perspective valid even if it is one that differs from his - Earthy sensuality - Intelligence well above average - Needs time to self and isn't clingy(I require an inordinate amount of time alone) - Philosophical bent - Has a sense of humor that is NOT focused on the pain, embarrassment/humiliation/deprecation of others - Has TIME to climb that is not a squeeze job between work or other obligations I found him! And now you gals are going to hate me, cuz I'm marrying him in 6 weeks' time! To be fair, we didn't meet climbing. We met at work and when he said he climbed I didn't believe him and when I said I climbed he didn't believe me. So I guess we just *had* to climb together then to find out. But the point is, even though climbing is very important to both of us, it never was the center of our relationship. WE were. So my advice to the girls: find the MAN you want to climb with, not the CLIMBER you want to convert into your man. Reverse the search, and you might be surprised at the results....
Awesome advice! Congrats and and much happiness to you, sister!
|
|
|
|
|
blueshrimp
Jan 11, 2011, 10:20 PM
Post #20 of 37
(11272 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jun 24, 2008
Posts: 147
|
Thanks wonderwoman and happiegrrrl for the good wishes. You're lovely!
|
|
|
|
|
nessie
Jan 12, 2011, 3:14 PM
Post #22 of 37
(11178 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 21, 2010
Posts: 61
|
Congratulations!
|
|
|
|
|
camhead
Jan 13, 2011, 2:48 AM
Post #23 of 37
(11132 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Sep 10, 2001
Posts: 20939
|
blueshrimp wrote: happiegrrrl wrote: "If you could find your climbing ideal significant other what would he/she be like?" I actually have found him; just think maybe he hasn't found me. But, here's my ideal: - Climbs harder than me, but happy to climb WITH me; seems to enjoy it and doesn't act like he's doing me a favor when he does. - Actually is a safe, competent climber - Strong enough emotional presence that I can actually be comfortable being vulnerable with them(Believe me, this has been an extremely elusive quality to find. I think I have met 2 men my entire life(that I have felt an attraction to) who I feel are emotionally stronger than I am. - Kind - Does not treat me with disdain or patronize me; considers my opinion/perspective valid even if it is one that differs from his - Earthy sensuality - Intelligence well above average - Needs time to self and isn't clingy(I require an inordinate amount of time alone) - Philosophical bent - Has a sense of humor that is NOT focused on the pain, embarrassment/humiliation/deprecation of others - Has TIME to climb that is not a squeeze job between work or other obligations I found him! And now you gals are going to hate me, cuz I'm marrying him in 6 weeks' time! To be fair, we didn't meet climbing. We met at work and when he said he climbed I didn't believe him and when I said I climbed he didn't believe me. So I guess we just *had* to climb together then to find out. But the point is, even though climbing is very important to both of us, it never was the center of our relationship. WE were. So my advice to the girls: find the MAN you want to climb with, not the CLIMBER you want to convert into your man. Reverse the search, and you might be surprised at the results....
Gongratulations!
|
|
|
|
|
cracklover
Jan 14, 2011, 9:32 PM
Post #24 of 37
(11040 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Nov 14, 2002
Posts: 10162
|
enigma wrote: If you could find your climbing ideal significant other what would he/she be like? It seems for example I meet a great guy he says he climbs and then he doesn't and we end up doing other activities and he doesn't want me to climb either. So those ladies who have found it all in one person , climbing partner, provider, and friend shed some light to help solve this puzzle.
I don't know how you will solve it, but my wife and I met bouldering (thus guaranteeing that I do, in fact, climb), we were immediately attracted to each other but didn't really learn that until later. We were both in a serious relationship with others, so we became friends and occasional climbing partners. I'm older than she, so it's not surprising that I provide more of the income. I dunno - it doesn't seem like such an enigma from this side of the coin.
GO
|
|
|
|
|
boymeetsrock
Jan 19, 2011, 10:50 PM
Post #25 of 37
(10928 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Feb 11, 2005
Posts: 1709
|
wonderwoman wrote: Agreed! Housework & raising kids IS work. It's just as hard, if not harder, than your average day job & a whole lot more meaningful. It's just that no one values it so you don't get paid. A husband who works is part of a partnership rather than a fiscal sponsorship.
My wife doesn't climb so I can't help you in this particular quest. I would agree with dan2see wholeheartedly though!
[hijack]
wonderwoman, I agree with what you say above, but I take issue with the bolded part. To say no one values the stay at home parent's work is patently false, unless you have a truly heartless partner. As for getting paid... who is supposed to pay you a check? Riddle me this, do you not have a bank account with money in it? A roof over your head? Food on the table? Go shopping and take vacations some times?
IMO, if you are a stay at home parent, and you answered any of the above questions 'yes', then you are indeed being paid for your work. It may not feel the same, but it is in all reality. Divorced stay at home parents are the most pure example of this, but that is almost another story all together.
And, I'm not trying to be rude or misogynistic here. It just bugs me when I hear the bolded sentence. I'd say a husband who works (or a wife who works) is not only a partner but a fiscal sponsor as well. Unless, of course, they are withholding food, home, spending money, etc.
[/hijack]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
1
