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How can I get my non-climbing boyfriend to try climbing?
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turtlewomyn


Feb 26, 2003, 5:22 AM
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How can I get my non-climbing boyfriend to try climbing?
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He's afraid of heights, although I was too when I started climbing a little over a year ago. We have other activities that we enjoy together, but it might be fun to get him to climb with me once in a while. We have discussed the possibility of him becoming a belay slave, because he really wouldn't mind looking at my backside all day long. But where is the fun in that? Are there any women out there who got their non-climbing boyfriends or husbands into climbing? Any men who got into it through their girlfriends or wives?


sroehlk


Feb 26, 2003, 8:51 AM
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How can I get my non-climbing boyfriend to try climbing? [In reply to]
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Start out bouldering - you won’t have to worry about his fear of heights. :wink:


arrettinator


Feb 26, 2003, 12:27 PM
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Don't want to be a snoop in the ladies room, but I find the tone here better than the other forums. Anyway, I'm having trouble getting my wife to climb, also. She's gone on trips w/ me and watches, but she doesn't want to try it, yet. I can't even get her to belay. She might never climb, which is ok with me, but not as fun. I don't think it's a fear thing for her, more than an embarrassment thing. I'm building a wall in the garage, so hopefully she'll try it out, since it's a bit more private there.

Anyway, I used to guide a little for small groups and one way I got first timers to overcome their fear of heights was rappelling. We use a top belay and cover all the strengths of each piece of equipment, just to give them an idea just how safe everything is. I think explaining to them just how safe the system is eases their minds more than just jumping right in to it. I'm afraid of heights, myself. Knowing how safe everything is eases my mind a whole lot. Hope everything works out.
Ryan


grigriese


Feb 26, 2003, 12:47 PM
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How can I get my non-climbing boyfriend to try climbing? [In reply to]
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The first time I ever roped up I cried once I got to the top of the climb - I was terrified of heights - I would not let go of the rock, I would not lean on the rope I just completely freaked out. As a result, I always explain everything to a new climber and most importantly when they are only a couple of feet off the ground I have them let go of the rock lean back on the rope and the weight the rope. I tell them to not grab the rope and that their hands should be at the sides or behind them to minimize the desire to grab the rope. This always them to build their confidence in the equipment while the ground is only a couple of feet away. This has always seemed to work to overcome the fear of heights that seems to grip some people.


mwbtle


Feb 26, 2003, 1:02 PM
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I can help! I got my boyfriend (who has the height phobia thing) to climb with me. He's now as addicted as I am, and a better climber (the darn dirty rat :) ). Anyways, he said he'd try it as long as I went up first so he could see how it was done, and that lowering isn't such a big deal. So maybe take him along with you when you climb sometime, so he gets a feel for it. A lot of height phobics are more concerned about not being under their own power at a height, and climbing is all about your own power, so he may enjoy it.
Just show him what its like, and he'll be more likely to want to try it. If he doesn't just want to go hang out at the gym with you, entice him with promises of the view of your backside for long periods of time. :) Don't worry, he'll come around eventually. Or if not, at least he is more educated in his decision not to climb.

Good luck! Climbing with your partner is one of the best things in the world. :)


yppah


Feb 26, 2003, 5:05 PM
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When I met my husband he had no interest in climbing. I had been climbing for 3 years and loved it. I really had no interest in taking him climbing because I had so many climbing bf before that always wanted to get into fights at the crag. Since then, the husband has been out climbing with me a few times and has started going to the gym, mostly on his own because we have conflicting schedules. He mentioned the other day that we should go out climbing together but I was not sold on the idea. I just can't get all of the bad experiences out of my head.

The most important thing to remember is that you are out climbing to have a good time and you are out with your significant other to have a good time. And try not to be disappointed if things don't work out the way that you imagined they would.


katydid


Feb 27, 2003, 4:11 AM
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I started out by teaching my husband to belay in the gym with a Gri-Gri. He belayed me for a few weeks and watched me and other people climb. He's now starting to climb in the gym, but I don't force him to go. I just tell him I'm going to the gym and ask him if he wants to come along. If he does, great. If he doesn't, he gets to spend an evening without me. (Sometimes I'm not sure which is the bigger prize! :p)

So I'm keeping it low-pressure, and he seems to be more interested that way. I'm also "conveniently" leaving mountaineering epics and various other climbing books lying around so he can pick them up and leaf through them to get that vicarious adrenaline rush. :twisted:

In addition, it turns out my hubby was worried that I wasn't going to be able to hold him if he fell (he weighs at least 100 pounds more than I do), so I explained how Gri-Gris work and how I counter the weight difference by holding him with my legs, not my harness or my arms. I've never "gone up" belaying him, and I think that's added a bit of confidence for him that I'm not going to get him killed. :D

As far as the afraid of heights thing, one thing I've found seems to work well is to let 'em climb up to the height where they start worrying about what happens if they fall (usually where they start wanting down), then have them lean back and lower them back to the ground. Then let 'em climb a little higher, lean back, lower, etc. Eventually the trust thing comes into play, and the fear of heights thing seems to wane quite a bit. (Props to my friend Sara, who is afraid of heights, for teaching me this.)

Kate


estherator


Feb 27, 2003, 2:24 PM
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How can I get my non-climbing boyfriend to try climbing? [In reply to]
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Slip him a mickey. While he's out, oyu and a few of your closest climber friends slip him into a harness, haul him out to the nearest crag, tie him in to a toprope, haul him halfway up, tie him off and wait. When he comes to, tell him he must top out b4 you lower him. Be prepared for much spitting and cursing. Happy climbing! :twisted:


jughead


May 1, 2003, 6:58 AM
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Re: How can I get my non-climbing boyfriend to try climbing? [In reply to]
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tell him youll be climbing in a mini-skirt :wink: only jokin!!! :lol:

P.S. i know i'm a dude but women can easily understand blokes so I'm trying to understand women... its hard


overlord


May 14, 2003, 8:28 AM
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promise him a full body massage after he climb the route. and start with small ones. you kno, not too high, lots of big holds, not much exposure...


enigma


May 18, 2003, 6:58 PM
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Re: How can I get my non-climbing boyfriend to try climbing? [In reply to]
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---I honestly think you should not waste your time trying to talk anyone into climbing, male or female :? :shock: .
If someone is self-motivated to climb they will, especially if they are involved with a partner who does. :roll:

Stop trying to make others into climbers, some people just don't want to. :idea:
Interestingly enough I had this discussion recently with a climbing partner, he repeatedly tried to get his girlfriend to climb, instead she ended up in tears. :evil:

Instead just climb with other partners, or get a new boyfriend or girlfriend if you want to be involved with a climber. :roll:


trkrunner03


May 20, 2003, 10:13 PM
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Re: How can I get my non-climbing boyfriend to try climbing? [In reply to]
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I would say wear a small pair of shorts an small top around saying loudly "this is my climbing outfit, see youlater after im done hangin withthe other hot guys at the crag" if the outfit alone doesnt work other guys ogling your bod at the crag will bring him around.

Haha
If not slip something in his drink like mentioned before
Dave


robmcc


May 21, 2003, 6:56 AM
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Climb naked. You'll have no problem getting lots of people to climb with you. In fact, I might be free... :roll:

Seriously, I'd have to go with "don't try". Just make sure he knows you'd like to have him come with you to try it out. I've climbed with a lot of people, and one thing I've found invariably true is that if you have to exercise any degree of persuasion, you probably won't enjoy climbing with them enough for it to have been worth the effort. Forgive the cliche, but there are 3 kinds of people in this world. There are climbers, some of whom don't know it yet, who just have it in their blood, and once exposed you'll need a crowbar to get them off the rock. There are non-climbers who you'd need a crowbar to get them on the rock. There's a narrow, narrow band of people in between who'll do it, but it doesn't really grab them. I don't find those last two groups to be much fun to climb with.


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