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jaylaka
May 28, 2003, 4:42 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: Hmm...might dump her to go out with you Jen.... :wink: 8) In reply to: Women are a pain in the azz... Still taking apps tho... LOL! Given the title of this thread and the above two quotes, I'm betting you won't be getting many "apps". Maybe you DO need to take wigglestick's advice and dump her. For her sake.
:lol:
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enitine
May 28, 2003, 5:21 PM
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Just got back from lunch, just read previous posts and wanted to add something....DO NOT TAKE THIS as a dating thread... :wink:
It's nice to know fellow climbers can joke around about stupid little things especially when it comes to bringing your chick to the gym or local crag.
Ahhh fine I guess I'll have to suffer tonight...looks like someone will be pulling there g/f up the wall to make her feel happy... :shock:
I love her end of story, CLIMB ON! Anyone in PA wanting to boulder let me know... 8)
As far as apps go...looks like I'm shI% outta luck huh?
Ah....Jen u are my one and only.........(supporter of this thread I mean).... :D 8)
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jipstyle
May 28, 2003, 5:26 PM
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In reply to: My advice to you would be: 1. Dump her. 2. Don't ever use the phrase "extreme activities" again.
LOL!
You're right on both counts. The first is unfortunate, but ... climbers dating non-climbers is a recipe for disaster. :(
With luck, she'll realise that climbing *is* life. ;)
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jipstyle
May 28, 2003, 5:27 PM
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In reply to: First off "Extreme s___" how's that sound??!? 2nd, Jen are you hot cause i'll sure as hell come to wisconsin and climb with ya... :wink: )
... and suddenly, we find the root of your relationship problems.
;)
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phitty
May 28, 2003, 5:37 PM
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Independent sports. Thats what I call them anyway. I thinks its usefull because alot of climbing is not extreme, same goes for snowboarding, kayaking etc etc. and its a not a team (with the exception of your belayer, and alpine ascents, mountainer..blah blah blah but mostly) so i like that one. Its you competeing against yourself.
As for the girlfriend. My gf didnt climb, now she does. Its pretty handy because i can spend time with her climbing and it accomplishes 2 goals.
1. i dont have to spend the afternoon shopping, walking, looking at flowers etc etc
2. I get to spend time with her so she doesnt make me spend the afternoon shopping walking, etc etc
When I want to climb hard, i go with a different partner. When i want to avoid shopping walking looking at flowers i go with her. She enjoys climbing but only the "up" part and hates steep downhikes, rappels, and anything where you have to look down. Otherwise she is a great partner.
I would say to get your gf started in climbing, just make sure she knows there are times when she cant come. Works for me.
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enitine
May 28, 2003, 5:42 PM
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Sounds good....I'll have to try that suggestion....thx
Thanks to all who have given me some sorta advice whether it be positive or negative....thx... 8)
Climb ON!... :lol:
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cracklover
May 28, 2003, 6:15 PM
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I think I have your solution: Grow up. Sounds to me like your problem has nothing to do with climbing, your problem is that you are a self-centered assh*le. Don't take it personally, though. Your "chick" probably is too! :)
GO
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rocksolid
May 28, 2003, 6:17 PM
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I can totally relate to what you've been saying in this post. I have dated numerous women who don't get certain areas of my life - usually climbing, running, or working out. Eventually, they offer to try one of the actives (usually running or working out - way too many women I know have this strange fear of climbing...). Normally, if their interest were genuine, I'd be ecstatic. But in most cases, they didn't share my enthusiasm of the activity, and the whole thing becomes more of a pain in the ass then anything. It's often like they are doing something to make me happy (that they are participating in something that I love), when in reality, were I not in the picture, they would never even consider trying that activity. Unfortunately, as it's been said in a ton of other posts, all of these activities that I enjoy are things that you either get, or you don't. For example, you might try to explain why you love climbing so much, but until she gets on the wall, she can't possibly grasp what you are saying. My advice for tonight, don't push your girlfriend too hard. Explain things carefully, don't put her on any routes that won't be able to do, and don't show off and go climb something so intimidating, that it'll make her feel like she's holding you back. In other words, take things slow. It might not be a ton of fun for you, but hopefully it'll give your girlfriend a positive experience, and she'll be interested in going again. And if she doesn't fall in love climbing after one night, don't dwell on it. Your goal tonight should be to spark a little bit of an interest in the sport. And, as time goes on, you can hopefully turn that spark into a fire. Good luck!
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bishop
May 28, 2003, 6:17 PM
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In reply to: My advice to you would be: 1. Dump her. 2. Don't ever use the phrase "extreme activities" again.
agreed
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enigma
May 28, 2003, 6:27 PM
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In reply to: Sounds good....I'll have to try that suggestion....thx Thanks to all who have given me some sorta advice whether it be positive or negative....thx... 8) Climb ON!... :lol:
When I dated a non-climber.I tried to structure my time with him around evenings. If by chance a day date was ahead. I climbed the day before so not to be resentful.
Well sometimes non-climbers are good at other things.
Did you check out some of my old threads on the subject.????? After 5 years together,you must at least enjoy your time together in bXd. :twisted:
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ladybug84105
May 28, 2003, 7:24 PM
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OK, Im having a hard time understanding.
How long have you been together? And hasn't she known of your outdoor shennanigans before now and she is recently bitching? And is she bitching that you climb at the gym and she doesn't get invited? Do you go all the time? And she wants to go climbing outside, although she doesn't like the outdoors??? I know these are a lot of questions but perhaps they well help you think about things.
As a girl I have loved to try things that my boyfriends have liked. I have even stuck with most of the activities. I dated a man who liked hunting. I went with him all the time. I don't hunt but I can certainly help prepare the carcass after the job is done and I love camping because of it. Guys also introduce me to music and things like that and while I may not constantly listen to it, I always have fond memories of it. Those are just a couple things that my b/f's have introduced me to that have really become part of my life and my character.
Maybe she is not really bitching about the climbing thing, but the time you are spending with your buddies. But back to the outdoor thing, she knows you love the outdoors and if she loves you she is going to have to learn to love what you love or she's gonna have to be happy doing her thing while you are doing yours. The situation is cut and dry. However if you love her then you are going to have to do the same. If you can see that she has a legitimate reason to gripe and you can make some sacrifices to spend more time with her then do it. If it seems that its not working either way then maybe you should both sit down and figure out what interests you do have in common, spend time doing those things and then she can be content doing her own thing while your at the gym.
And wouldn't you rather go outside anyway and climb???
If she hasn't climbed before then I would definatley suggest ditching the freinds and going with just her a couple times.
And my one last question is this, does she like your freinds and does she hang out with them by choice and peacably??
Maybe it's a stupid question but believe me it does matter..
Hope you find what you are looking for.
Bobbi
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roc_klimber
May 30, 2003, 6:25 PM
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Dont force her to do anything, girls dont like to be pressured to do anything, they like making their own decisions, most of them anyway. I would only encourage her to be a part of the group. Maybe she will see how cool our sport is and then she will participate
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joemor
Jun 2, 2003, 5:51 AM
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hey man im in the same situation.... 6 years and all that.....
take her out on a super easy multi pitch scramble, pack a picnic and have lunch up on some belay ledge with a nice view. dont rush just spend the day on the route. it might not be the hardest rout youve done but sharing climbing with some one you care about is awesome.
and she doesnt have to be able to climb hard to enjoy it. hell i see school groups get up similar routes and have the time of their lives and there not climbers at all.
joe
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enigma
Jun 2, 2003, 6:04 AM
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In reply to: hey man im in the same situation.... 6 years and all that..... take her out on a super easy multi pitch scramble, pack a picnic and have lunch up on some belay ledge with a nice view. dont rush just spend the day on the route. it might not be the hardest rout youve done but sharing climbing with some one you care about is awesome. and she doesnt have to be able to climb hard to enjoy it. hell i see school groups get up similar routes and have the time of their lives and there not climbers at all. joe
Poor Guys, hope she's has other redeeming qualities. :lol:
Just so you know it doesn't get better once you're married either. She'll be calling and annoyed at you for climbing and give you a guilt trip every chance she gets. Believe me I've seen it with countless partners. Its no fun :( for anyone.
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mr_phelps
Jun 2, 2003, 6:55 AM
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This is kind of a useless post. It sounds like this guy was just in a bad mood and his girlfriend was unhappy he decided to go climbing without her, and he heard about it from her. I am even willing to bet that she feels climbing is more important than her, or some nonsense like that.
Take her climbing. Screw your friends. I had friends that didn't support my choices, and note that I said had. If they don't like her, tell them to get over it, stuff like that.
Other thoughts: Climbing can be great to share with your partner. However, there are downsides to sharing climbing with your significant other. Sometimes it is nice just to be apart from your person, and climbing can do that for you. Other times you'll want that person with you. I know that sleeping in a tent at night, in the woods by yourself is pretty lonely as I have done it many times.
The other downside is that you won't be able to call her a little bitch like you would your friends when she can't finish a climb. Note: I would not recommend ever referring to your girlfriend as a little bitch, I have never done it and am not sure what would happen, but the consequences could be disastrous. Let's put it this way, more extreme then any extreme activity you have ever lied about participating in.
Overall: Get her involved. It will save you all kinds of trouble, and she'll feel better about letting you leave for a weekend if she doesn't go along.
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timstich
Jun 2, 2003, 12:40 PM
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In reply to: screw it. i no longer deal with head trips. just road trips. :D
Just wait until you get the head trip on the road trip. Then comes the bus trip just to get da hella way.
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wonderwoman
Jun 2, 2003, 2:24 PM
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Before I met the love of my life, I used to have to deal with 'climbing and bringing the pain in the ass boyfriend'... I used to say that my relationship was getting in the way of my climbing. But then I dumped the dead beat non-climbing guy (of 4yrs) and vowed that I would only get involved with climbers from that day on...
Then I ran into Blueeyedclimber bouldering in the woods, and we will be climbing happily ever after for the rest of our lives! :D But now he climbs harder than I do and I had to learn to accept it... :shock:
If you are introducing your gf to climbing, you need to be more positive about the whole thing. It sounds as if you are dreading the event and treating it as an ordeal. That's a self fulfilling prophecy. You should celebrate and welcome the new experience, or it's just not gonna work.
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gretchino
Jun 2, 2003, 2:47 PM
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In reply to: It sounds like she wants to join you and be a part of your life, so take her!
My sentiments exactly....she's bitching because you're not including her. Maybe if you take her with you, she'll see all the other girls around climbing and want to participate!?
If you take her and she doesn't enjoy it and you really think you have a future with this girl, then you both need to sit down and agree on some comprimises.
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kevlar
Jun 2, 2003, 4:26 PM
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take a blanket....an climb the twin peaks....an do some canyonering.... :D :lol:
an then rope up an hit the crag.
rock on
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wildwombat
Jun 2, 2003, 5:08 PM
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In reply to: Ahhh fine I guess I'll have to suffer tonight...looks like someone will be pulling there g/f up the wall to make her feel happy... :shock: I love her end of story, CLIMB ON! Anyone in PA wanting to boulder let me know... 8)
Sooo... enitine, how'd it go?
T
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salami
Jun 2, 2003, 6:02 PM
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If there is tension between your g/f and your friends than that usually means bad news. I know that every g/f that I have had that my friends did not like turned out to be a pain in my a$$. My last g/f was my worst climbing partner ever (she was pushing me too hard, I was new to climbing at the time), I even left her in Yosemite one time, I said " I am going back to the tent" then I hopped into my truck and drove home. :P Now she is dating one of my old climbing partners (poor guy). :P
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straightedgeteen
Jun 2, 2003, 9:22 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: My advice to you would be: 1. Dump her. 2. Don't ever use the phrase "extreme activities" again. Ha, that is good advice. What about the term adventure sports?
Good advise but biff never use adventure sports eather, thats worse
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caligrrl
Jun 3, 2003, 5:02 AM
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I was with my ex-boyfriend for 2 years before I realized that we will never be compatible.
He's not outdoorsy at all, and doesn't even fake interest in my outdoor exploits.
It hit me during a trip to Havasupai last fall. I will wantted to eventually share my passion for the outdoors with my kids and my family.
He wasn't the person I saw that happening with.
I decided to cut bait cause I was tired of compromising my weekends away doing stuff we could "both" do.
Now I'm single and having a blast climbing/camping/backpacking/hiking/snowboarding on my weekends instead of water down activities on someone else's schedule.
Best decision I ever made.
:) Cali "Single and loving it" Grrl
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tobincreek
Jun 3, 2003, 6:12 AM
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My wife is not outdoorsy at all, she doesn't even exercise. She bitches about how I don't take her climbing or hiking or anything, she complains about being tired walking around the mall for too long, I know I'd really be hearing it if I took her even up mission gorge. It wouldn't be fun for her and especially not me cuz I wouldn't even get one climb in as soon she became the slightest bit uncomfortable (pay attention to me!). And if she saw a snake that'd be it. I've been getting out of taking her so far, but I take everyone else I meet with an inkling for it and she's getting pissed. I think I will just make it miserable for her so she wont' go again and ruin my relationship with the rocks, that's "me time" and I don't get it often enough. :(
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enigma
Jun 3, 2003, 7:22 AM
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In reply to: My wife is not outdoorsy at all, she doesn't even exercise. She dawgs about how I don't take her climbing or hiking or anything, she complains about being tired walking around the mall for too long, I know I'd really be hearing it if I took her even up mission gorge. It wouldn't be fun for her and especially not me cuz I wouldn't even get one climb in as soon she became the slightest bit uncomfortable (pay attention to me!). And if she saw a snake that'd be it. I've been getting out of taking her so far, but I take everyone else I meet with an inkling for it and she's getting pissed. I think I will just make it miserable for her so she wont' go again and ruin my relationship with the rocks, that's "me time" and I don't get it often enough. :(
Out of curiousity "why did you marry her???" Was she pregnant???? :shock: Or did you all of a sudden like the great outdoors???
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