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sharpie
Jul 7, 2003, 1:26 PM
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http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3616632118&category=30106
“I believe that this book will soon become the standard text for climbing courses and guided trips.” - Nancy Prichard, Ph.D.
Excellent, thanks to Stefani and Joe for your contribution to the climbing community; I think that more "Complete Idiots" out on the rock is a great idea... :roll:
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sillymnkee
Jul 7, 2003, 2:13 PM
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"There is even a heavy stock, tear away, quick reference chart containing climbing terminology and a pre-climb checklist just inside the cover for nervous beginners (I took mine with me)."
Very aptly titled. If you need a cheat sheet to remember how to respond to "On Belay", you're going to wonder why nobody wants to climb with you anymore.
"Take!"
"Hang on, let me consult my quick-reference.... Let's see. Oh, here it is. Take: v. To remove all slack from the rope so that the climber may put their weight on the rope without losing any distance they have climbed. Often used when a climber knows they're going to fall..."
SPLAT!
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bdawg
Jul 7, 2003, 2:46 PM
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WOW, now that is scary, I hope that I never see anyone reading that book at any of the crags around here :shock:
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dingus
Jul 7, 2003, 3:04 PM
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At least this book has an honest title.
DMT
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epic_ed
Jul 7, 2003, 3:54 PM
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My initial reaction was horror, but this is gonna make a great joke at the crags. I'm buying one and taking it with me next time I go sport climbing just to see the reaction I get. Maybe I'll find someone to donate it to.
Ed
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tenn_dawg
Jul 7, 2003, 4:00 PM
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Dude, I've got that book!!!
Dude, I'm a complete idiot...?
Dude...
Travis
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trillium
Jul 7, 2003, 4:02 PM
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Perhaps the book will help graduate "Idiots" to "morons", and the rocks will be safer for all of us concerned.
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timstich
Jul 7, 2003, 4:06 PM
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In reply to: At least this book has an honest title. DMT
The whole line of Idiot books is merely selling self-deprication as self esteem building, which is bullsh*t more or less. I got a copy of the "Idiot's Guide to HTML" assuming that it would cut to the chase and provide only what I needed to know. Most of the book is littered with cutesy prose to assure you that you aren't alone, that nerds are silly, that kind of drivel. I can only guess that this guide takes a similar approach to hand holding. I never consult that book now that I have other non-gimmicky guides.
I wonder if this book has a quickguide chart to mourning your dead climbing buddies?
In any case this sure will make a good joke gift.
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mikedano
Jul 7, 2003, 4:43 PM
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Classic!
I'll stick with my Mountaineering: Freedom of the Hills thanks very much. You won't find a list of nonsense climbing slang there...
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sharpie
Jul 7, 2003, 4:44 PM
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In reply to: Classic! I'll stick with my Mountaineering: Freedom of the Hills thanks very much. You won't find a list of nonsense climbing slang there...
Maybe they should have a Cliff's Notes for Freedom of the Hills :lol:
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scottcody
Jul 7, 2003, 5:27 PM
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The only problem with this book is where to start the jokes!!!
"How to knot your rope for success" :lol:
"Rappel... like a pro" :roll:
or my current favorite
"Conquer the indoor wall" :oops:
I really like the co authors credentials
"He writes the weekend warrior column for The New York Times and is curretly working on a book To The Top which details his experiences climbing the highest moutains in each of the 50 states."
JEEZ
I dont know if I should cry or scream :shock:
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bumblie
Jul 7, 2003, 5:39 PM
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I love a good old fashioned lynching. :roll:
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timstich
Jul 7, 2003, 6:04 PM
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In reply to: The only problem with this book is where to start the jokes!!! "How to knot your rope for success" :lol: "Rappel... like a pro" :roll: or my current favorite "Conquer the indoor wall" :oops: I really like the co authors credentials "He writes the weekend warrior column for The New York Times and is curretly working on a book To The Top which details his experiences climbing the highest moutains in each of the 50 states."
Well at least this guy is climbing something. I got the impression it was all ghost writers condensing other climbing books and regurgitating it in some book mill.
But the "Rappell like a pro" section should start with how to spell rappell for sure! "Pros don't spell the word repell! Don't make this common mistake. When in doubt, just write it "rap." The other climbers will know you didn't mean Funky Cold Medina style rap!
Hey, I should be writing these books!
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scottcody
Jul 7, 2003, 6:10 PM
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In reply to: Funky Cold Medina style rap!
From your posts on Texas Climbers I figured you were "old skool". But man, talk about getting the conformation.
You just made my day :lol:
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sharpie
Jul 7, 2003, 6:17 PM
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I like "Discover quick and easy ways to...Summon up enough courage."
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bumblie
Jul 7, 2003, 6:46 PM
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In reply to: “I believe that this book will soon become the standard text for climbing courses and guided trips.” - Nancy Prichard, Ph.D.
The quote and the source sum it up, nicely. :wink:
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timstich
Jul 7, 2003, 6:53 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: Funky Cold Medina style rap! Tim, From your posts on Texas Climbers I figured you were "old skool". But man, talk about getting the conformation. You just made my day :lol:
Oh hey, I know a lot more recent rap acts. I was just trying to find the right voice for the job. A reference to that act seemed just right for those books.
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neeshman
Jul 7, 2003, 6:54 PM
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Wait a sec.... !!! They forgot to put a re-enforced metal ring in the cover so that you could driectly clip it to one of your gear loops??? What the crap??? Or maybe even go directly to kinkos and have the dam thing laminated to my arm so I would never ever be parted from it. Cause all climbers need to be reminded on:
How to Rappell (come down) like a pro! (I sometimes forget ya know)
How to pack healthy snacks and drinks for climbing! (Whooppee!!! :D )
How to summon up enough courrage! :x :x :x
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT, and I mean IMPORTANT rule and practice of ALL expert climbers:
Buy affordable gear and clothes! (my god :shock: )
If anyone os interested I think I will be buying this book in bulk, and I would love to sell them to as many new RC.commmers as I can for 50% off!!! Fun for everyone!
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timstich
Jul 7, 2003, 7:01 PM
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In reply to: If anyone os interested I think I will be buying this book in bulk, and I would love to sell them to as many new RC.commmers as I can for 50% off!!! Fun for everyone!
We at CLYMBS "R" US would like to encourage you to apply for a full-time postion at our Northridge store. Here we ALWAYS sell the noob books to the noobs. We are all about that. We can't offer the 50% off, but we can give you a big commission for every noob book you sell. We can even give you commissions on the sales of egg-spurt books, too. Every noob becomes an egg-spurt one day, or YOUR MONEY BACK. You will one day read the egg-spurt books, too. That we promise.
-Karl Vablinski
General Manager of Clymbs "R" Us World Class Climbing Gear
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neeshman
Jul 7, 2003, 8:00 PM
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Sweet! I have been dirtbaggin for over 4 years now, I would love that job! I humbly accept, all I ask in return is all expense paid rock climbing trips where I will be taught in ONE! not two but ONE! day how to climb like chris sharma, wait.... maybe all I need is a pari of Anasazi Velcroes (since they are the only shoe able to climb 5.15) and some tips on how to Rapell (come down) like a pro!!! Give me those and youve got yourself a deal!!!
Love Always
Kyle Ernest Freckleton
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gravitysucks
Jul 15, 2003, 2:26 AM
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In reply to: ...I dont know if I should cry or scream :shock:
i'm thinkin i will intersperse my crying with abbreviated, yet convincing screams and maniacal spasms of laughter.
i once started a job where the last person actually left behind a Rolodex card filed under "E" that said:
EMERGENCY
911
nothing surprises me.
:roll: :? :shock: :wink:
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snowrocker
Jul 15, 2003, 3:13 AM
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Complete idiots and climbing, not a good combo.
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lpclimber
Jul 15, 2003, 3:16 AM
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Registered: May 28, 2003
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I saw that book on ebay today and thought "I may be a complete idiot but i dont even need one of those books to teach me how to climb. I'll just teach myself."
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climbsomething
Jul 15, 2003, 4:11 AM
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Oh, whatever. The Complete Idiots and Dummies series are working a schtick, a copyrighted phrase, to jokingly play with self-deprication. I like to think it's a bit tongue-in-cheek.
Besides, Complete Idiots got nuthin' on this quote... as overheard at Williamson (SoCal), by Mushroom/Voices Wall, natch:
"At the gym they teach this convoluted belay technique where you always keep your hand on the rope."
This is TRUE, peepz.
:shock:
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apollodorus
Jul 15, 2003, 4:17 AM
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Well, at least the market is ripe for my book:
A Gumby's Guide to Big Wall Climbing.
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