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ricardol
Nov 7, 2003, 4:42 PM
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recently some aid climbing ethics came into question .. and the debate raged on and on -- and probably will still be going on even as the internet decays into the nothingness that it came from ..
.. a bunch of posts came about trying to explain what aid climbing is like -- so i though it would be great to post aid climbing analogies ..
... post your favorite..
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"aid climbing is like wrapping a raw steak to your head, and then sticking it into the mouth of a hungry lion... repeat for several days without feeding said lion"
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-- ricardo
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camhead
Nov 7, 2003, 4:46 PM
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aid climbing does nothing more than take hangdogging to its ballsiest extreme.
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mother_sheep
Nov 7, 2003, 4:55 PM
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aid climbing = wall masochism
You know that dream that you sometimes have when your trying to run as fast as you can but it seems like you're running in slow motion, I liken this to aid climbing but in a vertical sense.
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epic_ed
Nov 7, 2003, 5:03 PM
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"Aid climbing is a lot like working on a ship dock...but without the floor." --Russ Walling
Yep. A whole lotta freight hauling. It's also a lot like vertical chess -- always planning and strategizing for the next several moves. The more experienced a player you are, the better you plan and win your battles.
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pete_the_eskimo
Nov 7, 2003, 5:05 PM
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Aid climbing is like hugging your girlfriend.
If by girlfriend I mean toaster. And by hugging I mean sticking a fork into.
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junnos
Nov 7, 2003, 5:12 PM
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Aid Climbing is like my job, except it's a lot harsher and harder!
Hard Aid is like having a loaded gun pointed at your head with a twitchy trigger finger.
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dsafanda
Nov 7, 2003, 5:15 PM
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Aid climbing is like defusing a time bomb. It often includes hours of boredom punctuated my moments of sheer terror.
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mother_sheep
Nov 7, 2003, 5:17 PM
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Just thought of another one. I'm truly sick.
"An aid climber is like an old man without his Viagra. It takes a lot of work to get him up. " tracyroach
he he
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vertical_reality
Nov 7, 2003, 5:29 PM
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In reply to: "An aid climber is like an old man without his Viagra. It takes a lot of work to get him up. " tracyroach
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 5:30 PM
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"....kissing your sister - it's nice, but it don't mean nothin'."
Spoken by yours truly in the early 80's, when I was busy making first free ascents all over the province
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 5:32 PM
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"Aid climbing is like kissing your sister - it's nice, but it don't mean nothin'."
[This quote was spoken by yours truly in the early 80's, when I was busy making first free ascents all over the province]
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ricardol
Nov 7, 2003, 5:36 PM
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In reply to: "Aid climbing is like kissing your sister - it's nice, but it don't mean nothin'." [This quote was spoken by yours truly in the early 80's, when I was busy making first free ascents all over the province]
i guess now it means something to kiss your sister?
:?
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russwalling
Nov 7, 2003, 5:58 PM
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AID CLIMBING IS LIKE: A scared and unsure amateur trying autoerotic asphyxiation for the first time.... it's fun and scary and every now and again you feel real good after passing out.
Yeah.... that's the ticket!
Russ
http://www.FishProducts.com
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dingus
Nov 7, 2003, 6:11 PM
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Scotty trying to do a last minute save on the Enterprise.
"Captain, I do na think she can handle the strain!"
"Scotty, I need a trenched head in 3 minutes!"
"Ah Captain, that's impossible! I can na trench heads that fast!"
Spock: "Captain, the hook edge we are standing on will fail completely in approximately 2 minutes and 12 seconds. Correction, 2 minutes and 10 seconds."
"Scotty? You have two minutes to get that head in!"
"All right Captain, I'll do it. But I can na guarentee it will hold!"
(1 minute 59 seconds elapse)
"OK Captain, I've got the head in the trench. Go ahead and stand on it. Brace yourselves lads!"
Spock: "The head apprears to be holding Captain. But I estimate complete head failure in 3 minutes 7 seconds."
"Scotty, I need a blade in that hairline crack up there in two minutes!"
"CAPTAIN! I can na do tha! The blade is too wide! The crack is too narrow! She won't go in! It wasn't designed for this! It'll never handle the strain!"
"Scotty, you have two minutes!"
"I suppose I could drive it in as far as she'll go, tie it off and hope for the best. That's our only chance!"
"Do it."
Spock: "The blade is holding Captain. We now have 22 moves left on this mission. We have 3 hours, 13 minutes and 12 seconds to sunset."
"Scotty, I need to be up to that ledge in 3 hours flat!"
"Captain! Are you out of your fucking mind! It took us 2 hours for the first 10 moves of this mission! We can na fly you know!"
Aid climbing is like that... Mission Impossible, over and over and over.
And then you get to do it over again.
I do na think I can handle the strain.
DMT
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gravitytheory
Nov 7, 2003, 6:16 PM
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Hard Aid Climbing is like playing Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic pistol.
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flamer
Nov 7, 2003, 6:21 PM
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There's not much deference between doing alot of acid and climbing hard aid- they both fry your brain.
josh
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 6:24 PM
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Aid climbing is, without doubt, the slowest form of human locomotion.
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crotch
Nov 7, 2003, 6:26 PM
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Getting that VD test where they put the toilet brush up your caulk.
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 6:29 PM
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Aid climbing is, without doubt, the slowest form of human locomotion.
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tucsonalex
Nov 7, 2003, 6:35 PM
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LOL, dingus is funny.
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bspisak
Nov 7, 2003, 7:09 PM
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I don't know who said it:
Aid climbing is just vertical baggage handling.
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iamthewallress
Nov 7, 2003, 7:19 PM
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Aid climbing is, like, the best way to spend a day by yourself getting vertical when you won't free solo.
Aid climbing is, like, the best way to get places where you can camp on the rock for days on end.
Aid climbing is, like, the best way to justify buying a whole new rack when you already own one.
Aid climbing is, like, the best way to become blood friends with someone over the course of a single climb.
Aid climbing is, like, the best way to put yourself in a situation where you are accutely focused on a the tunnel of view inches in front of your face for hours at a time.
Aid climbing is, like, the best way to keep the rest of the world in a place where you do not even consider it's existence for days at a time.
Aid climbing is, like, the only type of climbing that makes me cry on the summit because I'm at once so grateful to have finished the climb and so sad that it is over.
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 8:29 PM
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She's, like, starting to sound like a Hoser.
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flamer
Nov 7, 2003, 8:54 PM
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In reply to: She's, like, starting to sound like a Hoser.
Wow, if she's starting to sound like a hoser(and I don't think she is), then she must have started listening to you.
ATTENTION!! We have an emergency!!
Someone MIGHT actually be listening to the KING OF THE HOSER'S!!!!
josh
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