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hangerlessbolt


Jan 29, 2004, 10:22 AM
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So you think you want a climber girlfriend/ wife…
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So you think you want a climber girlfriend/ wife…


A few things to take into consideration:

· You still deal with the same dynamics as you do in any relationship…climberchicks tend to be a little more passionate about everything…which can be both a blessing and a curse
· You’re likely to spend a great deal more time together than a typical couple. This can be taxing for some.
· Arguments that you have with your friends on the rock usually stay on the rock. Not so when your SO is you climbing partner.
· Jealousy will have to take a backseat, more so here, than anywhere else. If most of your friends are climbers…then the chances are that they are mostly male…same goes for her. Make sure you can handle that. It will be an issue.
· One of the perks of coming home to your wife/ girlfriend is nice, soft hands rubbing your sore muscles…again, not so when your SO is a climber…her hands are as rough as yours. Nothing like having man-hands massage your back.
· If things don’t work out, you’re still likely to cross paths (often)… and even if you don’t cross paths…every climbing trip will remind you of trips with her…and that can suck.

With that said…it can be great experience as well…but only if you’re matched up well

(I've had a few...and some just ended up bugging the sh*t outta me)

So take your time…and remember… there are plenty of athletic, hardcore women out there who have yet to be introduced to climbing…so keep your eyes peeled.


-Hanger


rokshoxbkr19


Jan 29, 2004, 10:48 AM
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I love my lady, but she said she was into climing and wanted to learn. She was stationed out in Sacramento and I got her all the gear to climb indoors. She was psyched. Fastforward 6 months. My dream climbing trip X-Country from Zion to PA. She didn't like climbing anymore and I didn't like her anymore (for the trip anyways) cause she never wanted to stop and climb or check out the rock and do all the stuff we had planned. I am still pissed about that. If I wasn't at work I would write several pages on this, but I can't. AHHHHHHHHHHHH :x


mtman


Jan 29, 2004, 10:51 AM
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my GF is a climber and i love it it is just one of the things that bond us together though, even though climbing is big in both our lives. i actually asked her out to prom wile rock climbing ( a note attached to the top of the route) that really set the stage for a good relation ship.

also about the trust issue and jealously, i find that i trust her more than i have other GFs for when you are climbing your life in in the other's hands so trust is essential, once you have your first big wipper with your SO on the other end the trust just goes though the roof, at least for me.


wc


Jan 29, 2004, 11:03 AM
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In reply to:
One of the perks of coming home to your wife/ girlfriend is nice, soft hands rubbing your sore muscles…again, not so when your SO is a climber…her hands are as rough as yours. Nothing like having man-hands massage your back.
·
-Hanger

...or your front!!! :shock:

And beware the mighty CRAG WHORES... they are everywhere and will do ANYTHING for attention from other climbers (which are mostly men, which means...)


madmax


Jan 29, 2004, 11:04 AM
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I just broke up with a gorgeous intelligent non-climber girlfriend. While we had a great relationship and did a considerable number of things together, over time my addiction to climbing became an "issue." At first I tried to tell myself it was alright that she didn't climb and it was nice to keep parts of our live separate. Of course, she wouldn't ever admit the "issue" was the climbing, but that was ultimately the issue. It's hard for non-climbers to understand the climbing ain't no hobby or sport; it's a lifestyle. I also have a highly addictive personality, so I get pretty involved in my climbing. Anyways, the point is that I wish she did climb because we would probably still be together.

P.S.

It's important that the girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband climbs before the relationship begins.


Partner baja_java


Jan 29, 2004, 11:05 AM
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i say if she's a climber, great. if not, not. just bec she doesn't climb, does that mean she isn't passionate about certain things that you might get into too, and get totally turned on by it, maybe even more so than her? if you only care about your passion and not hers, what does that say about you? besides, if anna kournikova wants you in every way, loving you bec of who you are, and you're going to hold her not being a climber against her, then you're one big lying sack of dung beetle dung


madmax


Jan 29, 2004, 11:13 AM
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Whoa, Sean, settle down on the tone. I participated in many of "her" activities and the things that she was passionate about and I took plenty of flack from my friends about being "whipped" (which isn't something I cared about). But after some time, I wanted her to do some of "my" things and she could never get into climbing. I never held not being a climber against her, but that difference just became a wider and wider gap between us.


andy_reagan


Jan 29, 2004, 11:13 AM
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In reply to:
It's important that the girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband climbs before the relationship begins

Why? Isn't it possible to introduce your SO to climbing in a way that doesn't put massive pressure on him/her to continue participating or break up? That's rhetorical by the way.


Partner baja_java


Jan 29, 2004, 11:15 AM
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whoa max, settle down. that wasn't directed specifically at you :)


howdidshedothat


Jan 29, 2004, 11:16 AM
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:shock: :shock: good thread!!


hangerlessbolt


Jan 29, 2004, 11:16 AM
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*laughs*

Looks = very little in the overall scheme of a long-term relationship. (i.e. 2+ years …not 15 minutes of mind-numbing fornication.)

In l.t. relationships…continuity is everything.

For the average climber (someone who gets outside once a month or so and hits the gym every-so-often) climbing doesn’t have to be a “deal killer” in a relationship…but for those who have chosen climbing as a life-style (climb 2-3 times a week at the gym…and just about every weekend outside) it means everything.


Partner baja_java


Jan 29, 2004, 11:19 AM
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oh don't tell me the right looks doesn't help

you are one big lying sack of.....























haha gotcha


hangerlessbolt


Jan 29, 2004, 11:22 AM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
It's important that the girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband climbs before the relationship begins

Why? Isn't it possible to introduce your SO to climbing in a way that doesn't put massive pressure on him/her to continue participating or break up? That's rhetorical by the way.

In deed it is...

However, in my experience, and obviously that of the poster, once the novelty wears off...they don't find it as enjoyable as we do.

Case in point...my ex-wife used to be my best climbing partner. We were hitting the gym and the crag on a relatively regular basis. We even did some multi-dayers together.
Then one day, I suggested hitting the gym and she shocks me with,

"You know what baby...I've never really liked climbing."

A year and a half...and she's never really liked it.

The fact is that I was too self-absorbed to really notice


crazygirl


Jan 29, 2004, 11:26 AM
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i don't think you can get someone into climbing unless that's something they want to do for themselves


bighigaz


Jan 29, 2004, 11:29 AM
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I've been married almost 4 months now, and it's been a year since I proposed. We're as happy as can be, though I can't say climbing hasn't been a hurdle occasionally. Don't get me wrong, my wife loves to climb... but I've learned that in a committed relationship, it is important to treat hobbies, and even passions such as climbing is for me, on an individual basis. We both love to climb, but there are times where she does not feel up to it, and if I expect her to go climbing with me every time I have the urge (which is all the time), then I am being unfair. That's why I have a number of climber partners!!! It's very important to keep your climbing friendships open, and not rely on your mate to be your partner 100% of the time. Finding balance isn't always easy, but if you love her and want to keep her, then you must be willing to support her in whatever hobbies she pursues... even when it doesn't involve climbing. Only then will you deserve to have her there at your side! (And you'll also find that your friendships/climbing buddies don't dissipate after you're married/committed.)
Good Luck out there!


hangdoggypound


Jan 29, 2004, 11:34 AM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
In reply to:
It's important that the girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband climbs before the relationship begins

Why? Isn't it possible to introduce your SO to climbing in a way that doesn't put massive pressure on him/her to continue participating or break up? That's rhetorical by the way.

In deed it is...

However, in my experience, and obviously that of the poster, once the novelty wears off...they don't find it as enjoyable as we do.

Case in point...my ex-wife used to be my best climbing partner. We were hitting the gym and the crag on a relatively regular basis. We even did some multi-dayers together.
Then one day, I suggested hitting the gym and she shocks me with,

"You know what baby...I've never really liked climbing."

A year and a half...and she's never really liked it.

The fact is that I was too self-absorbed to really notice
That's interesting, and quite noble of you to admit this to yourself. I don't know if this connects with what your point of view is or not, but my wife is my best climbing partner. She started climbing before we even dated. I don't know if that has as much to do with our successful relationship as the fact that we are marriage partners first - the other stuff (like being climbers and wilderness freaks) comes next in no particular order.


greyicewater


Jan 29, 2004, 11:35 AM
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my girlfriend is a climber too, i love it, we is patnas


silmaril


Jan 29, 2004, 11:39 AM
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Hi,
I want to say, as a women climber, that everything you said works for the other way around, (except the jealousy issue for obvious reasons). My bf and I live togheter and climb a lot togheter a lot and we really have a grate time mostly because we just behave as friends when we are climbing and because we climb at the same level, he does not climb better than me and I have to say that I am more psyched. I think is very important for a relationship to work, is that no matter what you have to be sure of yourself and of what you want. I know I want to climb the rest of my life and keep pushing my limits and if at some point he cannot keep up with me we will have to split as partner or split as a couple. None of them is terrible anyway.

Anyway, I don't think I could go out with someone who does not climb. What would we talk about after sex?!!!


outhere


Jan 29, 2004, 11:42 AM
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man, a good long term relationship is not looking good in my life. from this thread it seems that if ur living a climbing lifestyle, always on the road and rock, it seems too complicated for marriage. oh well, im happy with friends.


fitzontherocks


Jan 29, 2004, 11:51 AM
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Let's get Beth 'n Tommy to comment on this issue. Anybody got their digits?


hangerlessbolt


Jan 29, 2004, 11:54 AM
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I was thinking Tiff and Jason...

Again...continuity





I couldn't date Lynn, Tiff, or Beth...I simply don't share their devotion to the sport...

I enjoy climbing...but it's not my life. (Although it seems like it at times.)


gblauer
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Jan 29, 2004, 11:55 AM
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My SO is a climber. We have the most bestest time together on and off the cliff. We train together, climb together, and plan climbing trips. Yeah, occasionally we do other stuff...but we are equally obsessed with climbing and wouldn't have it any other way.

I broke up with a non climber (after 4 years of living together) bcause he was a non climber (among lots of other issues).


hangerlessbolt


Jan 29, 2004, 11:57 AM
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In reply to:
Let's get Beth 'n Tommy to comment on this issue. Anybody got their digits?


You just used Tommy...and...digits in the same post...

LOL

Dude cranks major hard...saw him at the PBC...insane


indigo_nite


Jan 29, 2004, 12:02 PM
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this topic is so complicated. some important things are equal commitment to a relationship (raising a family brings more challenges) and equal commitment to hobbies (like climbing or separate hobbies; each person being busy/happy enough not to miss the other when separate).

for raising a family (???), I've started to think, it's better not to look on the rock for a climbing partner as a life partner. climbing is too demanding of a passion. I know there's the exception to the rule.


floridaputz


Jan 29, 2004, 12:30 PM
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My Wife is my Climbing Partner. We met two years ago. It is fantastic in a lot of ways. 1) Every vacation we take is climbing. We don't even have to debate this. Our work out schedules perfectly match. 2) When sleeping in a small tent in the back country, we can sleep face to face, or share a sleeping bag. (VS toe to toe with smelly he-partner) On the down side, I can never make plans with old climbing partners because she will always wants to go, then we have more than 2 on a rope. But at this point in my life I would not have it any other way.

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