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planetgranite_climber
May 19, 2004, 6:02 PM
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Yesterday, I was suddenly hit by a brilliant idea. I'm never into jewelries. If my bf had to spend money on a diamond ring when he proposes (you know what I mean, that one knee down thing), I'd rather he proposes to me with a rack. (He has a full rack, but once in a while, we climb separately with our friends.) I don't really know if or when he is going to propose. He is the romantic type and I have a feeling that if he does, he will make it a surprise. How do I convey this idea to him without making him feel pressured?
Or, committed folks, what do you think? Is a diamond ring really important?
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jerrygarcia
May 19, 2004, 6:30 PM
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In reply to: Or, committed folks, what do you think? Is a diamond ring really important?
The ring is a symbol of your love you wear 24/7, the rack you wont wear 24/7. Dont let your want for cams cloud your idea of marriage. I think you will regret it down the road.
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boss
May 19, 2004, 6:31 PM
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If he goes for the idea, that is going to be one hell of a rack! :shock: I could only imagine the look on my mom's face when she found out that I bought a rack instead of a 1ct. in a platinum setting HAHAHAH. I can see it now.........bride to be walking down the isle wearing a full rack complete with doubles of the largest BD hexes...clank clank clank :lol: :lol: :lol:
Edit for spelling
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taualum23
May 19, 2004, 6:31 PM
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Diamond rings are a throwback to when a man had to buy his wife, why would you want one? Then there's the social irresponsibility of the diamond industry, which I won't get into. Unless you can sling that rock and use it to protect a sketchy traverse, the rack is the better option, IMHO.
Diamond rings are only as important as you make them. My wife (we lived together and shared all $$ already) told me that if I proposed with a diamond, and spent that much $ that we could use on a kick-ass honeymoon on a ring, she's hurt me. i believed her.
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granite_grrl
May 19, 2004, 6:47 PM
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In reply to: The ring is a symbol of your love you wear 24/7, the rack you wont wear 24/7. Dont let your want for cams cloud your idea of marriage. I think you will regret it down the road.
My mother never got an engagment ring, I don't think she regrets it.
And wear it 24/7?? sure wear it climbing, sounds like fun. And I can't wear rings at work due to the machinery and the potential to scarpe the manufactured parts. I'd go for a rack.
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uasunflower
May 19, 2004, 6:58 PM
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what about climbing the diamond? gets you both committed, no major $$ involved anyway, the honey moon thing sorted out as well...
(Long's Peak)
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jbell2355
May 19, 2004, 7:04 PM
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My wife has a fat ring and she loves it...but you're smart and you don't care about that crap. If I were your bf, I would be happy to hear that you would rather have something utilitarian (like a rack) than a big ol' diamond. Tell him that he should go Black Diamond instead of sparkly diamond. You'll still have a wedding band to show your committment, but instead of a useless rock on your finger, you'll be able to lead to your heart's content.
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deleted
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May 19, 2004, 7:05 PM
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[quote:c782b3a98e="taualum23"]Diamond rings are a throwback to when a man had to buy his wife, why would you want one? Then there's the social irresponsibility of the diamond industry, which I won't get into. Unless you can sling that rock and use it to protect a sketchy traverse, the rack is the better option, IMHO.
Diamond rings are only as important as you make them. My wife (we lived together and shared all $$ already) told me that if I proposed with a diamond, and spent that much $ that we could use on a kick-ass honeymoon on a ring, she's hurt me. i believed her.[/quote:c782b3a98e]
So true. (Throwback? Sad that a lot of men still DO buy their wives. But then I live in L.A., so maybe it's a regional thing.) And your wife sounds cool. :D
If you're a girly girl, I guess the symbol is important. But I would much rather DO something with that kind of money. Go climbing somewhere! I salute your idea & think you should wear the rack down the aisle... :D
[Damn, that was post #70! I was enjoying my 69 status...]
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sarcat
May 19, 2004, 7:14 PM
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I got my wife a big a$$ ring. She loved it. But after 12 years we now have both ditched the gold for some thin bomber titanium things we got for $45 each. Maybe you could do that right from the beginning and cash in on the rack and have both.
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crazygirl
May 19, 2004, 7:24 PM
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i think a divorce lawyer will advise you to get the ring.
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fenix83
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May 19, 2004, 7:47 PM
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In reply to: My wife (we lived together and shared all $$ already) told me that if I proposed with a diamond, and spent that much $ that we could use on a kick-ass honeymoon on a ring, she's hurt me. i believed her.
Now that is a lady with an attitude! (the right one IMO)
The diamond thing is also suppose to symbolize the eternity of your commitment (diamonds are forever and all that good stuff), and I know my mother would skin me alive if I proposed without the ring. Why not compromise, get an engement ring with a smaller rock, or a rock that has some significance to you, but is not necesarily as expensive, and spend the diference on a trip or a rack,,,
editL: is eternity the right word for this context?
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crazygirl
May 19, 2004, 7:53 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: i think a divorce lawyer will advise you to get the ring. Incorrect. Big ring = happy wife (work with me, it's for arguments sake) happy wife = no divorce (see above paranthetical) no divorce = no $$ for divorce lawyer. lawyers encourage a big rack. As your legal counsel, I recommend you buy a set of aliens.
In case of divorce, the wife keeps the ring
If she gets the rack instead of the ring, the couple might have to divide it in half.
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taualum23
May 19, 2004, 8:02 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: My wife (we lived together and shared all $$ already) told me that if I proposed with a diamond, and spent that much $ that we could use on a kick-ass honeymoon on a ring, she's hurt me. i believed her. Now that is a lady with an attitude! (the right one IMO) The diamond thing is also suppose to symbolize the eternity of your commitment (diamonds are forever and all that good stuff), and I know my mother would skin me alive if I proposed without the ring. Why not compromise, get an engement ring with a smaller rock, or a rock that has some significance to you, but is not necesarily as expensive, and spend the diference on a trip or a rack,,, editL: is eternity the right word for this context?
Eternity is pretty close to the right word, it gives the idea correctly. You were looking for an adverb, something to describe the "eternal nature" of the commitment. Like I said, no one except an english teacher would correct you (or a pain in the a$$ lawyer! (me))
"Diamonds are forever" is an ad campaign. You should have heard my mother when I told her I wasn't buying shannon a diamond, it took me moths (and Shannon a few hours!) to convince my mother that Shannon really didn't want a rock, and the money would be better spent elsewhere (climbing trip).
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maculated
May 19, 2004, 8:17 PM
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Engagement rings always seemed silly to me. I want the guy, not a month of his salary in a diamond.
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heather2004
May 19, 2004, 8:21 PM
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In reply to: Diamond rings are a throwback to when a man had to buy his wife, why would you want one? Then there's the social irresponsibility of the diamond industry, which I won't get into. Unless you can sling that rock and use it to protect a sketchy traverse, the rack is the better option, IMHO.
Hear hear! I agree 100% 8^)
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tedc
May 19, 2004, 8:40 PM
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I was probably going to buy a pretty big diamond for my wife (wife to be at the time). I just tend to go big and sort out the money later. One day she just out and said, "You better not go and by me a big diamond!" So, I didn't. She got a band and I got a band (Lost mine in like 2 months). We bought a kickin white water setup. 14" self bailing AIRE and didn't have to skimp on any of the rigging. Sorry, not exactly climbing related. Oh. Yea. she just got a new pair of Mythos today. I bet we still have several thousand bucks left from the "ring fund".
Her mothers side of the family was not ammused. One of her aunts actually called the engagement ring "divorce insurance". Blah, Blah
Her dad thought it was cool and has been on several river trips with us.
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fiend
May 19, 2004, 8:48 PM
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The 'tradition' of the diamond engagement ring is a bullshit story started by DeBeers (the diamond monopoly people) to get people to buy more diamonds.
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indigo_nite
May 19, 2004, 9:38 PM
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I'd suggest saving up for a rack yourself. you can do it in small chunks over a length of time.
is a diamond ring really worth the value of a rack? did not know this.
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gottarock
May 19, 2004, 9:49 PM
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very good Fiend! Although wedding bands have been around since the early Egyptians... the diamond engagement ring is an incredibly successful marketing scam kicked up by the DeBeers Co. of So. Africa around the turn of the last century (1900). Obviously it worked because many people think the diamond ring tradition has been around forever.
I've been in the jewelry biz for 20+ years and will be the first to tell you that a woman who doesn't need a diamond is a wonderful gem!
my suggestion is toss the diamond idea... and take a rippin vacation/honeymoon someplace exotic. I hear the climbing in Thailand is excellent.
as I reread this post I'm crackin up... makes me wonder how I can make a living designing engagement /wedding rings with an attitude like that... go figure.
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maculated
May 19, 2004, 9:56 PM
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In reply to: your first question is a biggie. you're asking how to ask someone for an engagement gift when you have no idea when and if they're going to propose. I have no idea.
Typical male.
Scene: Her lying on her beau's chest in the dark, watching movie in the dark? Movie? Something that strategically happens to have a wedding scene in it. Preferably an engagement ring. Nothing too girly, or he won't be on the couch. Take, for example, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
Her: That was a cool scene.
Him: Yup.
Her: I wouldn't ever want an engagement ring.
Him: Uh huh.
Her: I'd MUCH rather have (insert something mutually desirable here, for instance, a threesome).
Him: (Perks up after hearing about threesome) Really?
Her: Yeah, wouldn't want to waste all that money on something like a ring. That dress really makes her look like a cow.
Point made. He'll remember, even if he's really dense because:
(1) Guys are motivated by the ability to save money
(2) Guys are motivated by threesomes (or other mutually desirable things)
And while he'd ordinarily ignore your babble because you're babbling about weddings and watching a wedding movie, he'll file that away.
/sneaky conniving maculated who would NEVER do this because HER man would be enraptured by her every word
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maww
May 19, 2004, 10:01 PM
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In reply to: Engagement rings always seemed silly to me. I want the guy, not a month of his salary in a diamond.
AMEN!!! I'd be happy to just know I was with him and I was in his heart. Screw it girl, get yourself the rack...
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kimble
May 19, 2004, 10:04 PM
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you're dangerous
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kingjawsh
May 19, 2004, 10:07 PM
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damn.. now where can i find a lady who would prefer a rack to a stone... cuz when i do thats gonna be the keeper...lol
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fenix83
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May 19, 2004, 10:10 PM
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In reply to: Point made. He'll remember, even if he's really dense because: (1) Guys are motivated by the ability to save money (2) Guys are motivated by threesomes (or other mutually desirable things) And while he'd ordinarily ignore your babble because you're babbling about weddings and watching a wedding movie, he'll file that away. /sneaky conniving maculated who would NEVER do this because HER man would be enraptured by her every word
Ok, which one of you guys spilled the beans? Now they'll be getting EVERYTHING they want, no fair!
maculated, you scare me, in a good way i think... :lol:
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