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Things which are that important in trad climbing
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Partner tradman


Aug 25, 2004, 3:15 AM
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Things which are that important in trad climbing
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1. Boasting.

2. Exaggerating wildly.

3. Imaginatively reinventing your own minor technical cock-ups as balls-out epic self-rescues.

4. Boasting.

6. Bashing "sportos", "bouldering punks" and "gym rats".

7. Boring everyone half to death with how "hard" and "dangerous" the 5.6 stepladder you flailed up at the weekend was.

8. Boasting.

9. Squealing about bolting of routes you can't climb and will probably never see.

10. Boasting. A lot.

11. Lying about how little gear you used when you started climbing.

12. Lying about how long you've been climbing.

13. Boasting. Constantly.

14. Refusing to take any "gumbies" climbing with you unless they kiss your arse, suck your dick, haul all your gear, clean every pitch, do all the cooking and carry you when you get tired.

15. Proving how good a climber you are by shouting "advice" from the bottom of the crag to others climbing lines you can't actually even touch.

16. Have I mentioned the boasting yet?

17. Seeing no irony at all in the fact that you talk about gear constantly but almost never talk about actual climbing.

18. Making slings out of water-knotted webbing and screamers out of beer-can ties then criticising everyone else for being "unsafe".

19. Just for safety: boasting.

20. Most important of all: getting on your high horse and criticising everyone incessantly, but being incredibly sensistive about anyone making jokes about you or about trad climbing.


wildtrail


Aug 25, 2004, 4:20 AM
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

21. Drinking entirely too much beer (if there is such a thing).


unabonger


Aug 25, 2004, 6:40 AM
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22. Be wildly and unreasonably opposed to the GriGri.

22a Finally learn to use GriGri. Realize you were mistaken. Never admit prior ignorance. Brag about how you've used one since 1990.

23. Get good enough to climb 5.11 and then decide sport climbing is fun after all. Humiliate self by asking 13 year old for beta on a Rifle 11c. Make all sorts of excuses that do nothing but make everyone nearby uncomfortable.

24. Finally, become a full fledged sport climber late in your climbing career and then spout endlessly about how hard climbing used to be back when you had balls and how these young whippersnappers have no respect for the boldness of yesteryears blah blah blah.

Hope this helps.

UB


robbovius


Aug 25, 2004, 6:47 AM
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25. Spraying exactly what gear you placed on a route, and where, ruining the onsight possibilities for anyone else, and then claiming that onsights are "highly overrated". Route grade cannot be over 5.6.


unabonger


Aug 25, 2004, 6:59 AM
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26. Insist on climbing the one nice looking crack at Shelf Road on gear. Subject partner to carrying heavy pack, followed by 2 hour belaying session, whence you realize that the crack is a friable piece of sh!t that is terrifyingly dangerous, upclimb, downclimb, upclimb, whimper, complain, get wildly pumped, refuse to admit mistake, sabatoge your relationship with your partner, end up too thrashed and retreat on manky #7 stopper. Hangdog your way up the beautiful 11a to the left of the crack, taking hours because you are so pumped out from crack. Piss off various parties at crag because you occupy classic route for hours, having epic trying to reach abandond #7 stopper. Core shot rope swinging to get it. Get back to camp and get blotto on cheap bear and ramble about how this place is a chossy pile and all these sport climbing faggots don't know what they are missing by not going to the South Platte, where you are going in the morning if you can find a partner, and f**k it if you can't you'll just go bouldering at the Garden of the Gods.


bumblie


Aug 25, 2004, 7:08 AM
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27 Carry a stitch plate on your harness.


shakylegs


Aug 25, 2004, 7:38 AM
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28. Join the local online climbing forum, post enough to ingratiate yourself into the clique, boast (tm tradman) about your exploits (even though youíre never seen at the cliff), insist (insist goddammit!) that aliens are the best piece of gear ever used, plaster your $40 000 Suby with label-whoring stickers, makes plans online every Friday afternoon to meet the rest of the clique at the local watering hole the next night so you can sit around and pass judgment on climbers who donít look familiar. Then, on the Monday, bullsh!t about your weekend exploits and how drunk you got on the Saturday night.

Edited because this is now in General


Partner philbox
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Aug 25, 2004, 2:59 PM
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philbox moved this thread from Community to General.


the_pirate


Aug 25, 2004, 4:44 PM
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29. Buying gear that you will never need because it fills a supposed hole in your rack.


petsfed


Aug 25, 2004, 4:55 PM
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30. Never climb harder than 5.8.

31. Laugh at sportos from Rifle when they visit Indian Creek, but never actually visit Rifle yourself.


alpnclmbr1


Aug 25, 2004, 5:38 PM
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In reply to:
Ooooh, you're so big and tough I just admire you. You make beginners cry, wow that must be a challenge, you must be an amazing climber to be able to do that.

Have you ever thought about teaching people to climb by showing them how to climb, instead of just bullying them to make yourself feel good?

What a complete and utter coward you are.

By your own admission, too pathetic to climb with experienced climbers.

By your own admission, so weak that you need to have your ego and energy boosted by beginners.

And by your own admission, too selfish to teach without considering what's in it for you.



Congratulations alpnclmbr1, you are officially top of the list of the most embarrassingly effete and cowardly people who I've ever seen post their self-justifying whining.

Well done, you pathetic little weasel.


paganmonkeyboy


Aug 25, 2004, 6:09 PM
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you people have issues...


architect


Aug 25, 2004, 6:17 PM
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Sh!t.
your telling me that I'm a TRAD Climber?!?
I need another beer...


naw,,,,,
I think I'm still a trad C.I.T. cuz i'm the one still carrying the gear and rope... and water.


moeman


Aug 25, 2004, 6:37 PM
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I think you forgot boasting. Thats another important one.

Oh wait...


rcaret


Aug 25, 2004, 6:57 PM
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Belief that more gear makes you a better climber


valeberga


Aug 25, 2004, 6:59 PM
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96. Insist that all face climbing above 5.8 is irrelevant, because it only exists "off-route."


chalkyhandsman


Aug 25, 2004, 7:42 PM
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Sounds like one of the prerequisites of being a sport climber is being overly sensitive, insecure, and egocentric. Oh and also not enjoy the sport of rock climbing, but only the activity of exploiting others in the sport as to gain recognition. :D PS-I enjoy sport climbing, and give the activity itself, and those who participate in it respect due, but am frustrated by the bitter, sophomoric, and pathetic attempts of slander within the climbing circle. Thanks.


dingus


Aug 25, 2004, 7:43 PM
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Killing Me Softly With His Song
( Roberta Flack )

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style.
And so I came to see him to listen for a while.
And there he was this young boy, a stranger to my eyes.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on ...

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair.
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there.
But he just came to singing, singing clear and strong.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

He was strumming, oh, he was singing my song.
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...
With his song ...


tradmanclimbs


Aug 25, 2004, 7:48 PM
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:shock: Fourtunatly for me I don't know the words to that song so I cant verrify. Dingus, If those are the real words to that seventys sap song and you have them memorized, YOU NEED HELP :shock: :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


hacksaw


Aug 25, 2004, 8:37 PM
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Gee, you guys really don't get it about "trad climbing."

Its all about the beer at the end of the day. :D

If you can't make it to the bar before closing time, you might as well bivy.......... If you've never climbed without a hangover, you've never lived. :shock:

There are a number of great climbs that would never have been done with out a major hangover driving on the first ascent party upward (Bridwell & Stump = East Face of the Moose's Tooth, etc...). :wink:

Cheers,
Halsted


dingus


Aug 25, 2004, 10:16 PM
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In reply to:
:shock: Fourtunatly for me I don't know the words to that song so I cant verrify. Dingus, If those are the real words to that seventys sap song and you have them memorized, YOU NEED HELP :shock: :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I need help? What about the tard who doesn't know about 'cut and paste?'

Ooops! Hehe. I meant TRAD!!!

Cheers
DMT


jefffski


Aug 26, 2004, 12:32 AM
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97. making fun of the newbie--"you used cams on that? when i started leading all i used were nuts."

98. maimg fun of sport climbers--"oh, you're ONLY a sport climber. have you tried trad?"

99. showing off my bloody hands

100. laughing at sportos who tape up for crack climbs

101. pulling out my rack. yeah


cgailey


Aug 26, 2004, 1:52 AM
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In reply to:
18. Making slings out of water-knotted webbing and screamers out of beer-can ties then criticising everyone else for being "unsafe".

What!? This is unsafe!!? Jeez...what was I thinking!? :lol:


unabonger


Aug 26, 2004, 7:40 AM
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philbox moved this thread from Community to General.

Whoa! Did I just wake up in Bizzarro world?

UB


kimmyt


Aug 26, 2004, 7:46 AM
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