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arrettinator


Sep 10, 2003, 9:18 PM
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What if they got married?
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If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.

If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.

If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.

If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it's the '90's!, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.

If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.

If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.

How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.

If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.

Nog (Quark's brother on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. IF he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.

If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.

If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.

If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician) she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy."


hangerlessbolt


Sep 10, 2003, 9:20 PM
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That was entertaining.

:D

lol


arrettinator


Sep 10, 2003, 9:23 PM
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If Kate and Hillary got married their new screenname would be katydidclimbsomething.


Partner philbox
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Sep 10, 2003, 9:31 PM
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Should this be under the gay marriages thread all these men marrying men and women marrying women. :lol: :lol:


elvislegs


Sep 10, 2003, 9:32 PM
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If Whoopi Goldberg married Yahoo Serious, they would be Whoopi and Yahoo Serious.


arrettinator


Sep 10, 2003, 9:42 PM
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If U2's Bono married Sonny Bono he'd be Bono Bono


mother_sheep


Sep 10, 2003, 10:03 PM
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If I married unabonger, I'd be Tracy Roach Bonger.


charley


Sep 10, 2003, 11:18 PM
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and your getting paid for this right?


arrettinator


Sep 10, 2004, 8:37 PM
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One year ago today:
Yep, I'm getting paid for this.


Partner calamity_chk


Sep 10, 2004, 8:50 PM
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you get paid for resurrecting threads?


edge


Sep 10, 2004, 8:52 PM
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A job well done is it's own reward.

Which, of course, has nothing to do with any of this.


Partner calamity_chk


Sep 10, 2004, 10:01 PM
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if kelly and i hooked up, we'd be amberclimbschks4fun.

... which might necessitate her re-invoking the kinky sig.


slablizard


Sep 10, 2004, 10:40 PM
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MAN: Good evening sir your...name please?

007: My name is Bond...James Bond

Ok Bond James Bond,..Last name?

007: Bond

MAN: Ok, so Bond James Bond Bond.

007: No. James! James Bond

MAN: Oh ok. James Bond Bond James Bond..Correct?

007: Noooo James James Bond ! James Bond.

MAN: Sir..I only work here..

007: (pulls the gun out and shoots the guy )


Partner calamity_chk


Sep 10, 2004, 11:00 PM
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so, um, who's on first?


jt512


Sep 10, 2004, 11:33 PM
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if kelly and i hooked up, we'd be amberclimbschks4fun.

Now that's something people would pay to see.

-Jay


climbs4fun
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Sep 11, 2004, 12:18 AM
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if kelly and i hooked up, we'd be amberclimbschks4fun.

Now that's something people would pay to see.

-Jay

Dirty old man :wink:


Partner calamity_chk


Sep 11, 2004, 12:32 AM
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if kelly and i hooked up, we'd be amberclimbschks4fun.

Now that's something people would pay to see.

-Jay

pffft. it only seems kinky the first time. ;)


jt512


Sep 11, 2004, 12:45 AM
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In reply to:
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if kelly and i hooked up, we'd be amberclimbschks4fun.

Now that's something people would pay to see.

-Jay

Dirty old man :wink:

pffft. it only seems kinky the first time. ;)

Kelly, please listen to Amber. She speaks wisely.

-Jay


Partner calamity_chk


Sep 11, 2004, 12:50 AM
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:wtf:

whoa. did jay just say that i speak wisely?


jt512


Sep 11, 2004, 1:39 AM
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:wtf:

whoa. did jay just say that i speak wisely?

Yes, but keep in mind that the subject was performing pornographic acts with Kelly, which is not to say that you do not speak wisely on other subjects, only that I may not be as motivated to comment on those subjects as I am on this one.

-Jay


Partner calamity_chk


Sep 11, 2004, 4:19 AM
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jay, i'll have you know that if kelly and i were to hook up, it would be ART - not pornography.


jt512


Sep 13, 2004, 3:47 PM
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jay, i'll have you know that if kelly and i were to hook up, it would be ART - not pornography.

Indeed.

*heads for cold shower*

-Jay


mother_sheep


Sep 13, 2004, 3:51 PM
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jay, i'll have you know that if kelly and i were to hook up, it would be ART - not pornography.

I got confused and thought it said "with art". For a second there I thought you just made art a very happy man!


jt512


Sep 13, 2004, 4:58 PM
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jay, i'll have you know that if kelly and i were to hook up, it would be ART - not pornography.

I got confused and thought it said "with art".

So did I. I was jealous.

-Jay


Partner sauron


Sep 13, 2004, 6:11 PM
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jay, i'll have you know that if kelly and i were to hook up, it would be ART - not pornography.

So now you're hooking up with Art(m) as well?

amberclimbschicks4funart

- d.

[Edited to acknowledge that I jumped on an old joke.. That'll teach me to finish reading before replying. -d.]

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