|
moabdirtgirl
Aug 8, 2004, 10:02 PM
Post #51 of 64
(6652 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 22, 2003
Posts: 29
|
How does the joke go?
What do you call a Single Climber in Moab:
Homeless.
:D
|
|
|
|
|
aayla
Aug 10, 2004, 5:39 PM
Post #52 of 64
(6652 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jul 26, 2004
Posts: 7
|
In reply to: i guess as one of the guys being talked about here, it is tough. i didn't have too much trouble pushing myself, but i had a hard time watching her push herself(even though i encouraged it) because i worried a lot. that manifested itself in other parts of our relationship, and i think i became overprotective. even worse, since i was way more experienced i took on an often unwarranted superior sort of role in nonclimbing issues. i don't think dating climbers is a problem, but being a partner in an unequal climbing partnership can become a pitfall - especially if one partner or the other spends a lot of time teaching. familiarity breeds contempt, which is heartbreaking.
Your relationship sounds like mine. I started climbing when I was 16 and dating one of my friends/climbing partners/(sometimes intructor?) when I was 17 and 1/2. He is way older than me, and has had many years of climbing experience. We broke up after a year and a half for similiar issues to yours, were apart for 10 months, and got back together for another almost two years. Our relationship suffered many of the same issues, namely the power balance of me being younger and much less experienced, proved to be unfixable. I think it is difficult when you want someone to succeed on the rock to keep that separate from you wanting them to succeed in life. I am hoping he will read your quote and think about it in application to us, but I doubt it. I guess with time comes insight.
|
|
|
|
|
changling
Aug 10, 2004, 6:32 PM
Post #53 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 29, 2002
Posts: 301
|
When I met my boyfriend, I was only starting out, while he had a lot of experience climbing, so he ended up teaching me a lot of stuff. We never had any problems though. He was always very encouraging and let me do whatever I wanted without ever being overprotective or macho. And after a year of climbing together, we took aid climbing courses together since neither of us had any experience with aid.
Now, 4 1/2 years later, he is still the best climbing partner I've ever had, and the relationship is still strong, in and out of the vertical world.
|
|
|
|
|
crazygirl
Aug 12, 2004, 6:10 PM
Post #54 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Aug 27, 2003
Posts: 595
|
why would you even want to date a non-climber? really, what would you do togever?
|
|
|
|
|
acacongua
Aug 13, 2004, 5:42 PM
Post #55 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Feb 14, 2003
Posts: 657
|
So what problems have you ladies encountered dating a climber? My first climber bf was awesome - he got just as psyched about a 5.7 trad line as he would for a 5.13 sport and in my gumby state, that was perfect for me. It was a blast to climb with him.
|
|
|
|
|
ecocliffchick
Aug 13, 2004, 8:37 PM
Post #56 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jun 4, 2002
Posts: 613
|
In reply to: So what problems have you ladies encountered dating a climber?
A couple of problems:
1. When you're climbing abilities differ by 8 or more grades (say 5.10+ to 5.13-) and you are planning road trips together, sometimes it's tough to compromise on what crags to go to.
2. Because you love and trust them you are far more likely to show emotions (scared, frustrated, crying behaviour) in front of them than you would just a 'climbing partner'- which may be less fun for them than if they were out with the guys!
3. Who's going to work to pay for all the road trips?
|
|
|
|
|
acacongua
Aug 15, 2004, 10:26 PM
Post #57 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Feb 14, 2003
Posts: 657
|
Point number 2 is definitely a tough issue.
|
|
|
|
|
gecko_girl
Aug 16, 2004, 1:56 AM
Post #58 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Aug 16, 2004
Posts: 40
|
from the mouth of a 13-yr-old: the only cute guys are the ones who end up working out in the climing gym. does it not make any sense??
|
|
|
|
|
granite_grrl
Aug 17, 2004, 2:21 PM
Post #59 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 25, 2002
Posts: 15084
|
In reply to: In reply to: So what problems have you ladies encountered dating a climber? A couple of problems: 1. When you're climbing abilities differ by 8 or more grades (say 5.10+ to 5.13-) and you are planning road trips together, sometimes it's tough to compromise on what crags to go to. 2. Because you love and trust them you are far more likely to show emotions (scared, frustrated, crying behaviour) in front of them than you would just a 'climbing partner'- which may be less fun for them than if they were out with the guys! 3. Who's going to work to pay for all the road trips?
1. true - but it makes me want to push myself more. Its also a good reason to climb with other people.
2. They may find the emotion showing thing less fun, but I'll wager at the end of the day they're happier with you sharing the back of their truck than one of the guys ;)
3. Better be 50/50, he does keep joking about his 'sugar momma' though... :(
What have me and my boyfriend argue about most: who gets to bring what from their rack ("hows about we use MY nuts this time....")
|
|
|
|
|
rock_junky
Aug 22, 2004, 9:29 AM
Post #60 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Aug 9, 2004
Posts: 29
|
my ex-boyfriend was into climbing when we first got together and then he got into ww kayaking and stopped climbing all together. that sucked cuz he never wanted to climb anymore and was always too busy kayaking to spend any quality time with me. i think that having a boyfriend that also climbs as much as i want to would be ideal because then there is just one more thing that we can share together. i know now that i want to have a boyfriend that climbs too so that we can climb together and take all those road trips together.
|
|
|
|
|
eyeclimb
Aug 25, 2004, 3:15 PM
Post #61 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Aug 17, 2004
Posts: 63
|
I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over 2 years and he is the one who got me into climbing. I think that climbing couples are good because it's a similar interest and I have a lot of fun when I climb with him. I notice that besides us, other climbing couples I've seen get along really well. I don't know why, it's just a trend that I've noticed. More laid back, I guess.
|
|
|
|
|
tuelly
Oct 8, 2004, 6:29 AM
Post #62 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Sep 14, 2004
Posts: 20
|
Since I started climbing about 11 years ago, I have dated both climbers and non-climbers. Most of the non-climbers ended up resenting the time that I spent climbing and wanted more of a time commitment from me. I wasn't too keen on compromising, though I would have been happy to have taken them along if they were interested. The climbers that I have dated have allowed me to create a sort of interesting cycle of climbing, climbing time-outs and partner adjustments. The first climber I seriously dated was my nearly exclusive climbing partner for about 2 years before we became involved. It didn't work out, and for a little while it was too hard to climb because I missed him too much when I did. Gradually I started to get back into it, because I had loved climbing before I ever met him, and I started to find new friends to climb with. Since him, I have dated other climbers, but not lost sight of the fact that I climb for me and not them. I try not to make a significant other my exclusive climbing partner anymore. I think I either have to date climbers, cyclists, or find a current non-climber/cyclist who is willing to convert. I spend so much time doing these activities that I would infrequently see anyone who didn't do one or the other.
|
|
|
|
|
missedyno
Oct 8, 2004, 12:49 PM
Post #63 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Nov 21, 2001
Posts: 4465
|
my life partner and i are also climbing partners.
it's good because we're both completely obsessed with the sport. i love him and regularly trust him with my life.
to add to ecocliffchick's points, here are a couple more.
1. taking their encouragement seriously. if he says "yes i think you can lead it, it's well within your ability, i'm not sure if he's serious or just being nice.
2. we've worked it out, but had some issues with honesty on route choices due to not wanting to hurt each other's feelings.
i got on the wrong trad route and ended up taking a fall after my handhold broke off. i had told him earlier he should wear his helmet even when belaying, but who wants a nagging girlfriend? he almost got hit by the rocks that broke off, i took my first trad fall and was really shaken up. later he said he didn't think the route looked safe, and i shouldn't have chosen it. it was definitely the biggest argument we've ever had. this was a year ago, and now we'll take the other person's feelings/opinion into consideration when choosing a route - even if only one of us is going to climb/lead it.
|
|
|
|
|
valerie
Oct 11, 2004, 2:57 PM
Post #64 of 64
(6650 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Feb 20, 2004
Posts: 31
|
In reply to: I could totally date a non climber. But he'd have to some interest in nature/wilderness- into hiking, snowshoeing or snowboarding or whatever. And have I mentioned how hot ski patrol guys are? Thanks.
Totally agree. The pool of climbers is quite small here so I've had to diversify slightly! But they'd have to be outdoorsy in some way - they'd have to appreciate how much it means to me to be outside far away from towns and cities, otherwise I don't think it would work. It's not just the sport aspect of it, it really is a lifestyle thing, corny though that sounds.
|
|
|
|
|
|
