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rockjock04
Sep 8, 2002, 2:20 AM
Post #51 of 68
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Registered: Aug 8, 2001
Posts: 517
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one time when I was like 5 My mom took me to the mall. I always wanted to go play in the arcade cause of the flashing colors and what not. So I went in without telling my mom and she didn't see me leave. So there I am walking around and all of a sudden this cop grabs me and starts walkin me back to my mom on the way back I look at his little whacky stick thingy and ask
"is that your gun?" He wasn't happy with me. Stupid rent-a-cop. (mall security)
ohh this is fun!
"look! a distraction" followed by pulling down his pants and running so he can't follow.
on C.O.P.S one time there was this guy that got pulled over for swerving and he was talking to the officer and said,
"hey its okay, Im CIA" then the cop was like "oh yeah? What does CIA stand for?" then the drunk was like, "Central.......... Oh, Im FBI". then the cop told him to say his alphabet backwards and he was like, "z p, c, l,l, g." they are all so dumb. Dont drink and drive.
"Im not drunk occifer"
BEES! BEES! THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE! THEY'RE RIPPING MY FLESH OFF! AHHH! IT HURTS!
tommy boy rocks!
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nikegirl
Sep 8, 2002, 4:39 AM
Post #52 of 68
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Registered: Sep 2, 2001
Posts: 5662
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*how could I have missed this thread???*
LOL!!!
T
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crux_clipper
Sep 8, 2002, 10:28 AM
Post #53 of 68
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Registered: Jun 14, 2001
Posts: 531
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"i'll come with you, just let me get my coat, it's on the back of the DOOR!!"
(slamming the door and running out the back)
"I told you, the guy fell on the bullet, and i was trying to dig out out with a knife, but it was dark, and i kept missing. You know how it is.
"It was self defense, he was goin to kill me!"
"Sir, he was in his pajamas, getting his paper"
"Did you see the size of the paper!?"
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justsendingits
Sep 8, 2002, 10:49 AM
Post #54 of 68
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Registered: Dec 29, 2001
Posts: 1070
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What? you guys got video of me sneaking in to Curry village buffet?
I had to put those 200+ bolts on El Cap,or I was gona die!!
Is this about doin the Yosemite loop road backwards on my motorcycle?
Im not paying that 1,000$ in back rent I owe at camp 4
I did not mean to start that fire in Cali. that burned 20,000 acre's,I was just burning some love letters.
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overlord
Sep 8, 2002, 8:36 PM
Post #55 of 68
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Registered: Mar 25, 2002
Posts: 14120
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i swear, he tripped and hit his jaw on my steel-capped DrMartens. and he did so 5 times, until it was broken. i mena the jaw and his sipnal cord.
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bumblesbounce
Sep 9, 2002, 1:55 AM
Post #56 of 68
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Registered: Dec 1, 2001
Posts: 472
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"So like this one time at band camp..."
OR
"Um, I'm busy doing 'something' please come back at an other time, buh bye!"
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daggerx
Sep 9, 2002, 3:23 AM
Post #57 of 68
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Registered: Sep 16, 2001
Posts: 761
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how about
" I got a boner, you got a sister?"
or
"Dam you got to hit this shit"
DAggerX
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wildtrail
Sep 9, 2002, 8:44 PM
Post #58 of 68
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Registered: Jul 6, 2002
Posts: 11063
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"She's only screaming because she has Turret Syndrome."
"Dead? No. She's just not breathing."
"Hey guys. You wanna help me bury this under the house?"
Steve
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diarmid
Sep 9, 2002, 8:47 PM
Post #59 of 68
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Registered: Nov 27, 2001
Posts: 1073
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"Aw guys, not on the rug ... sheesh, third time this week. You'd think they'd learn..."
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calamity_chk
Sep 9, 2002, 9:17 PM
Post #60 of 68
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Registered: Apr 23, 2002
Posts: 7994
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*embarrassed grin, still holding breath*
"uuum, hi .. "
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wildtrail
Sep 9, 2002, 10:29 PM
Post #61 of 68
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Registered: Jul 6, 2002
Posts: 11063
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"No, no officers. I wasn't stalking Sue. I was just trying to get in her pants!"
Steve
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calamity_chk
Sep 10, 2002, 12:33 AM
Post #62 of 68
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Registered: Apr 23, 2002
Posts: 7994
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maskokalover
Sep 13, 2002, 6:28 PM
Post #63 of 68
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Registered: Aug 3, 2002
Posts: 213
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i'm taking a deploma at a police collage, and a few of my professors were telling us stories about when people talk and the cop dosnt even know what they atre talkin about...
*cop pulls you over*
"you know why i ppulled ya over sir?"
"i swear, that weed in the bag under my seat is not mine!"
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oldandintheway
Sep 13, 2002, 7:41 PM
Post #64 of 68
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Registered: Aug 13, 2002
Posts: 2450
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It's ok Officer. I'm a minister in the Norman Church
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crux_clipper
Oct 12, 2002, 1:44 AM
Post #65 of 68
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Registered: Jun 14, 2001
Posts: 531
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To the cop when he busts down your door with his boot:
"Dude, you need to chill out a little.......here, these will fix ya up real good" (holding out some little pink pills)
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boz84
Oct 12, 2002, 2:11 AM
Post #66 of 68
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Registered: Sep 7, 2002
Posts: 473
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"I'm really forked up right now, so if you could come back later that'd be great, thanks."
"Omg, thank god youre here officers, i just found this dead body in my bathtub" (covered in blood)
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climbinganne
Oct 12, 2002, 1:46 PM
Post #67 of 68
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Registered: Apr 15, 2002
Posts: 11679
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, go ahead and bust me...i have friends in HIGH places...
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iridesantacruz
Oct 12, 2002, 2:41 PM
Post #68 of 68
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Registered: Aug 3, 2002
Posts: 594
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hey, is that a 9mm? well thats nothing compared to the .44 magnum i got here with me.
The donuts are in the kitchen.
Im suprised ur here! Dunkin Dognuts has a 3 for 1 sale.
Your NOT going to check under the bed are you?
You'll never get those cuffs on me you pussy!
Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?
Beer?
Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?
So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?
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