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bgraham
Mar 16, 2006, 2:55 PM
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i have a total crush on a guy at my local outdoors shop. he is a climber as well. i would love to ask him to go climbing but i fear him thinking i'm a freak. it really isn't the rejection i fear, but that i am a frequent customer there and i'm not sure i would have the guts to show my face there again if i make an ass out of myself. and it's not as if i can find another store because there isn't another one around.
am i just over analyzing? what shall i do?
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kimmyt
Mar 16, 2006, 3:23 PM
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Strike up a conversation with him. Alot of times I've found that if you're talking to a salesman and they climb and you climb you'll come to the topics of where you climb. Then you can casually slip in, 'Oh we should climb together some time! I'm always looking for more partners'. You have the benefit of being a girl, and guys almost always want to climb with girl partners. If he has a girlfriend (hopefully) he will let that drop casually to you so that you don't get all worked up over someone who's taken.
I used to have a major crush on this guy that worked at my REI. I used to go in like once a week to browse and he would always be there. Numerous times I totally could have asked to climb with him, but I was too shy. Bummer. He was a hottie. Ah well.
Anyway, good luck!!
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kasharp
Mar 16, 2006, 3:35 PM
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yea, you're probably overanalyzing :lol: but i do it too. i don't know that i'd have the guts to ask him out, but hopefully you do. i always kick myself after missing out on an opportunity.
good luck let us know how it turns out :D
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pink_chalk
Mar 16, 2006, 11:55 PM
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a very close friend of mine met his current wife while working at REI. she had a crush on him and some would say midly stocked him. we laugh about it today, but she took a chance and they agreed to go climbing one day. now its been over two years of marriage and they are expecting their first child. so, ya never know. keep talking w/ him and see what happends. ask him who he climbs with or what his partners are like. this way you can fish around for info. on whether or not he is spoken for. good luck!
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redlegrangerone
Mar 17, 2006, 3:22 AM
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As a guy, I wold say go for it. We can be shy too. He might even want to climb with you, but does not ask because you are a customer. I know when I worked in a store, we were not supposed to ask customers out.
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aimeerose
Mar 21, 2006, 4:45 PM
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Did you do it? Did you ask him to go climbing with you? You really should. Just going climbing can be a totally platonic way to find out more about him. See if he really is all you imagined and if he's already taken. Even if it doesn't work out as a relationship, you may find yourself a new climbing partner. You only live once, so don't let any opportunities pass you by.
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clausti
Mar 22, 2006, 6:22 PM
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one caveat....
find out if he has a normal day off before you ask him out. that way, if things go sour you can still go in there without seeing him.
-girl who now only patronizes the local bike shop on mondays.
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bgraham
Mar 23, 2006, 2:48 AM
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so i have not yet asked, but i do "need" to go there very soon so i hope he is there. i thank you all for your wonderful advice, especially the one about finding out if he has a set day off....smart thinking.
i will keep you all posted!!!
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heximp
Mar 24, 2006, 4:27 AM
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I would just give him my number and tell him that I always need partners.
Life is to short not to take the straight line.
If he calls, good...
If not, I would just act the same in the shop and move on.
We win some and lose some... In the end, we won't remember or care about the details.
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indyj
Mar 24, 2006, 5:25 AM
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OK, here is a little unwanted guy's perspective here...
You are making too much out of it. I agree with previous post in that you should keep it quick and casual after asking some gear geek questions. Maybe have a light bulb moment that he would be a good, informed climbing partner to have along on a climb. Have a business card with email and phone number on it. Then see what happens. Seems like the best you can do with asking someone out at their workplace.
I personally would not do the "move out of the state" approach if you get shot down . I don't work with the public but have been asked out a few times at work, for sure. My "knee jerk" response always is to just play it off and essentially shoot them down because I'm at work and it's really not the time or place for that stuff. I will mull it over later though. He may change is mind after he has time to think about it.
I'd be much more inclined to ask out someone who still stopped in with a big smile on her face than a paper bag over her head and hiding behind the coat racks. Shows allot of confidence/ security vs. lack of confidence/insecurity.
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rhythm164
Apr 15, 2006, 4:11 PM
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Speaking as a guy AND a shop employee, I say do it. There have been a couple of girls that I've met that I would have loved to ask to go climbing, but there's definitly politics involved being as how I work there, not to mention I'm shy, but that's besides the point. Go for it, what's the worst that can happen?
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nola_angie
Apr 15, 2006, 9:21 PM
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better to regret something you did do and now feel kinda silly, than to regret something you didn't do and lost your chance...just leaves you with too many 'what ifs' in the cold of the night! :lol:
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littlejames
Apr 16, 2006, 12:45 PM
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In reply to: Speaking as a guy AND a shop employee, I say do it. There have been a couple of girls that I've met that I would have loved to ask to go climbing, but there's definitly politics involved being as how I work there, not to mention I'm shy, but that's besides the point. Go for it, what's the worst that can happen?
So what's the female perspective on this? If, hypothetically speaking of course, I was to ask out a rather gorgeous customer who has been seen in my workplace, is that creepy or awkward or anything?
(If I'm hijacking the thread, plz ignore.)
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rhythm164
Apr 16, 2006, 12:53 PM
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I, for one, was kinda worried about the whole creepy and akward thing. So instead of asking her out I just stood in the corner watching her until she left. KIDDING! kidding kidding kidding
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bgraham
Apr 22, 2006, 12:20 PM
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i think he is gone! i haven't seen him in awhile!! ahh well, it must be a sign.....guess i will have to find another crush! and thank you all for the splended advice!!
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syc007
Apr 23, 2006, 6:21 PM
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Hi-
speaking as a gal and past shop employee, he can't do the asking because it's his "work" place. But I always saw a lot of flirting and underhanded "passing of the digits". It was like a big joke at the store. We would rib each other about it. "He's looking for a climbing partner" or "she wants to learn the mt. bike areas around here" was often the guilty explanation. Yeah, right! Good luck romeo!
Just keep it casual. Talk him up. If he's friendly, give him your contact info. You have to get to know him outside of the work area.
Take it from someone who had guys try to pick me up at work: when your manager has their laser-beam eyes on you is not the time to be flirtatious. Just give him your contact info, keep it brief, keep it friendly. If he follows up with an email or phone call, you know he's interested in getting to know you!
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