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enigma
Nov 6, 2002, 6:40 AM
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Is it better to be climbing with someone you're dating, or does it just get in the way sometimes? Curious about other climbing women experiences? Please share,
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katydid
Nov 6, 2002, 11:35 AM
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The dating part's OK. It's the breakup aftermath that sucks.
Kate
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rockwomyn
Nov 6, 2002, 2:18 PM
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My boyfriend got me into climbing and has been my partner since then. I really have not had an adverse things happen. I actually kind of liked it especially in the beginning because i trusted him to belay me more than other people. He's also very encouraging and relishes in seeing my progress and development. I may be in a just be in a good situation. Honestly it would be kind of weird to climb without him.
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climbchick
Nov 6, 2002, 2:22 PM
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I think it's fine and can add a lot to the whole experience but it's a good idea to have other climbing friends so that you're not left without a partner when the relationship goes to hell.
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ecocliffchick
Nov 6, 2002, 2:58 PM
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My first "climbing" boyfriend and I were not regular climbing partners. I already had regulars I liked to climb with, and he worked at the climbing gym and was likely working while I was climbing. We really only climbed indoors though. It seemed to work well having separate partners. He could still understand my joy at finally sending that problem, and my frustration after a crappy day.
My current boyfriend and I are basically exclusive climbing partners. We've roadtripped together, which is great, and we have complete trust in one another which is especially a plus on the road. The only time it sucks is when one of us is having a bad day, because it may just be that we're mad at ourselves, but we always find a way to take it out on each other. When you're frustrated and angry, sometimes the "relationship fixing" emotions take over and you just forget that "hey, it's just the climbing".
Just my two cents.
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russmanswife
Nov 6, 2002, 4:38 PM
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okay it may not really apply in my case but with russ i do trust him more and would rather he belay me than someone else and also he knows when i am having problems and the support and encouragement just mean more to me coming from him. i don't know if anyone else has ever noticed but when it is your s.o. up there and someone else belaying it makes you a little more nervous just knowing you would rather be the one in control than to have to put their life in someone else's hands.
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flashgirl
Nov 6, 2002, 5:39 PM
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I like to climb with cool guys who can chill and just be my friend. Guys that are real and sincere, and not just trying to sell themselves.
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enigma
Nov 6, 2002, 6:11 PM
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I think its nice to have both, climbing with guys your dating and ones your not.Sometimes its hard spending the days and nights together especially if your just with each other,seems to strain things a bit.Wouldn't you agree?
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mclee
Nov 6, 2002, 6:58 PM
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The relationship I have with my climbing partner is great. If we complicated things by getting involved and if things didn't work out, I'd be really bummed losing such a wonderful friend and partner.
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missedyno
Nov 6, 2002, 8:28 PM
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oh i am completely with ecocliffchick on this one.
we climb together, we're life partners, life is good, we get along... i trust him, i roadtrip with him, i'm used to belaying him, he's used to belaying me....
but when either of us is having a bad day, it can REALLY mess up the climbing. just turns into a bad night.
i'll even do sissy stuff like if i'm climbing TR and someone comes up and talks to him i (sometimes) feel pouty because he's not watching me. just admiting my non sensical REALLY retarded weakness.
yeah but all in all i love it.
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kcrag
Nov 6, 2002, 8:38 PM
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I dated a climbing partner for a while and loved it. We had a great time together. The problem was, climbing was just about the only thing we had in common, so the relationship didn't last long. Didn't have any problems afterwards, because there was no 'messy' break-up (no drama, here). We're still friends (well, I assume--I'm in another state now and we haven't exactly kept in touch).
Also, I was already a climber before we met, so I still had other friends to climb with. Definitely don't ditch other partners if a boyfriend enters the picture.
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bigevilgrape
Nov 7, 2002, 5:14 AM
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:: refraining from making a bitter statement ::
i've never done it but i would date a climbing partner. i mean you have to have something in common, why not climbing?
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nikegirl
Nov 7, 2002, 7:11 AM
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I have been climbing a year now...
I've met many people and climbed with them..
I have found that I have such a bond with my partner/soulmate...but, the unfortunate thing is my partner is 1017 miles away.
We are constantly avoiding talking about our events/climbing with others, because....well itSUCKS.
See...it's not that he's climbing with women or groups/gathering... it's not that he's having fun ( I truly want happiness for him)...It's truly the fact that it's not ME....I'm not there to share the fun, and adventure WITH him.
It's the hardest thing I beleive I've ever dealt with..this LONG distance relationship.
I am saddened that I don't get to do these things as readily with him.
We get together as often as we financially can...and we MAKE these trips happen.
I'm misserable without him. I want to explore life, camping travels, just being*...and it truly isn't happening soon enough.
I want to climb exclusivly with him...I love to watch him climb...GAWD!!!!!
I feel motivated to push my grades...and love his teaching, watching....melts me.
*sad* to be so far away.
someday we'll be in the same vicinity(sp)*
T
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rockwomyn
Nov 7, 2002, 2:37 PM
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Hang in there "T"-
my boyfriend lives out of town too, not quite 1,000 miles but about a 6.5 hours drive and with my job and other things we only see each other once a month or so for like 48 hours, if we are lucky. hang in there...at least you have that wonderful feeling about someone and you know he is there for you and you there for him despite the current miles apart. good luck and may you be together soon and out once again exploring, climbing and experiencing one another and the world around. Long distance sucks but it really kind of instills and reminds you of how much of a commitment you are willing to make to be with the "one" you love so dearly.
Goddess Bless,
~eryn
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missedyno
Nov 7, 2002, 2:48 PM
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wow. i'm lucky to have my guy so close. well, so close, we're shackin' up soon.
last night we climbed together and it was quite an experience! i was there for 5 hours and did 11 routes. he worked some really hard stuff on lead and i caught him caught him caught him. we were so excited for each other about our progress....
then we went for burgers at a really cool restaurant, tastes so good after climbing...
at night we fell asleep talking about our favourite moves from the night, best falls, the move we made when we thought we couldn't stick it, and what we have to work on.
So Cool.
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nikegirl
Nov 7, 2002, 3:34 PM
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*sigh*
soon soon soon*
I shall be that lucky Jess!
Thanks eryn, that means soooo much to me. Totally brought me to tears*
I have strong will...hope*
but, damn if I don't feel way emotional
and need strength* daily to get outta my misery. This truly helps.
Goddess Bless!
T
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rock_diva
Nov 7, 2002, 4:08 PM
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I've been climbing for 15 months and really had just one climbing partner for the first 10 months. We never dated, but had a great friendship. It was wonderful to have someone with whom to share all the exhileration, frustration, fears, and joy of climbing -- and other interests, too.
The last few months I've climbed with lots of different partners - which has been great! - but I miss the close climbing relationship.
Getting to the topic ...when I date men that do not climb, they just cannot understand why climbing is such a part of my life (and why I spend so much time climbing, talking about climbing, etc). Always seems to be a missing link. I'm all for dating climbing partners ...but also agree that you should continue to climb with others as well.
~Shelley
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soozn
Nov 8, 2002, 7:57 PM
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I totally agree with rock_diva. My last bf wasn't a climber, although he tried it a few times. He never understood why I felt so passionate about it, even though he felt the same way about hockey.
Having a bf who climbs is definitely awesome, and I also agree that climbing with other people is important, especially if the relationship ends badly.
And for the record, Jess and her bf are sooooo cute when they are climbing at the gym together
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the_elk
Nov 11, 2002, 1:50 AM
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I've been climbing for something like 6 years and only in the last 6 months have I been dating a climber. (although there was a very long period of NO-ONE) Anyhoo, We sorta hooked up because we knew each other from the climbing gym and it sorta blossomed from there. However, while he has become my climbing partner as well as partner in every other sense of the word, I do have other people I climb with. And so does he. Our lives don't have to be completely intertwined all the time, and I like that. He climbs with some other guys, and I climb with another chick and a couple of other guys as well. We all climb together too. It really is a great set up. I do freak out a lot more when I belay him on lead though, and I'm sure it's the same for him. (esp. considering a friend of his died in a ground fall while climbing. (belayer error!)
Must dash,
Work to do.
Cheers,
Elk.
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footoo
Dec 27, 2002, 3:10 AM
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not always the best idea
[ This Message was edited by: footoo on 2003-01-01 08:46 ]
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granite_grrl
Dec 27, 2002, 5:28 AM
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My first partner was a boyfirend. I climbed almost exclusivly with him for the first 8 or 9 months, and then he had to go away for awhile. Him being away sucked, but it forced me to get out and meet all sort of other people I could climb with (ie- him leaving was good for my climbing). He's living near by again, we're no longer dating, he's still a great friend and my main climbing partner. We made some bonds there when we both first started climbing, he's still my favorite to go out with.
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bouldertoad
Dec 27, 2002, 6:01 AM
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Well I started out by dating my climbing partner.....then we got married so I guess it works out just fine
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carnaged
Feb 19, 2003, 3:46 AM
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In my experience, it didn't work out the greatest. One of my climbing partners (I have three), and I started dating for a little while sometime last year. We were really close as friends before, and I believe we completely ruined that. After we broke up, we stopped climbing together for a while. It felt awkward to be with him at the crag with my other partners, and having nothing to say to him. After a while, we got over the childish behavior and became friends again. Although, we're still not as good as friends as we used to be, and probably never will be.
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tradaddict
Feb 19, 2003, 6:28 AM
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Eck, my one climbing partner that I dated was an amazing climber, but we had majorly different philosophies about climbing. That said, when it ended I was left in a hole because i'd been climbing with him and let my other partners fall by the wayside. Not good, it's been hard to find people to climb with since because now I realize it's difficult to climb with a partner who doesn't have a similar view of what climbing should be about, and it's difficult to find people who like to climb like I do. Plus, break-ups just suck anyways, so why loose a climbing partner and a boyfriend, when you should never have to loose both at one time.
Deirdre
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aimeerose
Feb 19, 2003, 3:30 PM
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I married my climbing partner!!!! It's been great. You always have someone to climb with. We climb with other people too which is nice. Sometimes I'll go climbing with someone else, cause my hubby's not a big trad climber. Sometimes he goes with someone else cause I'm in school. We're always happy to include a 3rd or more, but we have a great time when it's just the two of us too. It's great to have someone to motivate you and encourage you and be undersanding when you get pissed cause you didn't send for the umpteenth time! I fully atribute my climbing 5.12 to him. He's the one who encouraged me to start top roping them (instead of not climbing something if I couldn't lead it, which is how I started climbing) and I got stronger for it.
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