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qdiggety
Sep 29, 2005, 6:52 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: Who knew HB was a poet? "Yeah, the b---- dig that s---" -Jay & Silent Bob
Man, you two are blowing all kinds of preconceived notions here........
BTW, good to see that you two BooBoo Kitty Fucks aren't totally heartless bastards...... :D
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hangerlessbolt
Sep 29, 2005, 6:57 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: Who knew HB was a poet? "Yeah, the b---- dig that s---" -Jay & Silent Bob Man, you two are blowing all kinds of preconceived notions here........ BTW, good to see that you two BooBoo Kitty f--- aren't totally heartless bastards...... :D
Damn straight...I take the size of the kitten's rectal cavity into consideration...whoa!...what were we talking about here?
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climbingbetty22
Sep 29, 2005, 7:20 PM
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In reply to: climbingbetty22, how old are you?
I'm 25.
I found wjca's post quite interesting, about growing up and putting away the party girl.
Here's the problem though. Everyone is saying that you've basically got to be a happy person and like who you are before you can be successfully involved with someone. OK, so what if climbing in the buff on the rare occassion is something I enjoy and makes me happy? Am I suppose to change, become something I'm not and be unhappy, just to be the kind of girl some guy can bring home to Mom? If that's the case, fuck that. I don't want to meet anyone's mama. There has got to be a middle ground where you can be completely happy being who you are, even if that is a bit wild, and yet still be worthy to be loved by someone of the oppostie sex. (Or same if that is your bent.)
I guess this is why I find this whole subject frustrating. I think I am a fun person and I trully believe that I have alot of offer someone. I love do special things for someone. Just ask my ex-boyfriend who is going to see his favorite band in concert courtesy of the birthday present I got him. I once hauled two cups and a bottle of favorite wine 3 pitches to the summit of Seneca Rocks to do something special for the guy I was dating at the time. I'm not saying these things to brag, but I am saying it because I got as much enjoyment out of doing these things for them because I cared about them as they did from receiving them. I also mention them to point out that I think its possible for me to be true to who I am and the things I love, yet, still be a little sweet sometimes.
What frustrates me is the lack of people who seem to want to get to know that about me; All the guys that practically line up to date the cute little blonde chicks that they have to "protect." But because I'm independent and I can think for myself, I have to be a loser in life. Whatever. I guess if that is the way its going to be, if I'm going to have to pretend to be something I'm not, if I'm going to have to pretend to be retarded to get a date because I'm too intimidating or whatever, then no thanks, I don't want to be in a relationship. If I really have to choose between being happy with who I am and having a relationship, then its going to be A, everytime.
*steps down off soapbox*
Oh yeah, way to go HB, nice thing about the waves. Very fitting.
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hangerlessbolt
Sep 29, 2005, 7:41 PM
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In reply to: [.I'm independent and I can think for myself...
SOMEBODY STOP THAT WOMAN!!
The older we get, the harder it is for us to become “happy”.
We get so programmed in thinking that all of these “things” have to happen for us to feel “happy”.
Happiness comes from the mind. If you can learn to control your mind…you can control your happiness.
A wonderful example is expressed in the following story:
A friend of mine bought his 6 year old daughter some new clothes. She was so excited…running around telling everyone what her daddy had done for her.
Some of the older kids looked at the “new” clothes and started taunting her.
“Those clothes aren’t new…they’re from the Goodwill store!”
“Eew, you’re wearing somebody else’s old clothes!”
Her heart was broken.
She’s eleven now and her father tells me that nothing short of the mall is good enough for her these days.
He can’t afford to buy clothes at the stores in the mall…so she doesn’t get new clothes very often.
Hers wasn’t the only heart that broke that day, five years ago.
Her dad was trying to do the best he could for his daughter and she was overjoyed…until someone else looked and said you can’t be happy because you have not met our preconceived notions of what it takes to be happy.
Years of that “brainwashing” brings about a lot of frown lines.
Work towards capturing the happiness that is yours and yours alone.
Anything else; that new car, that new house, a new girlfriend or boyfriend will only be short-lived and when the initial high is gone...you're back to where you started.
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jumpingrock
Sep 29, 2005, 7:46 PM
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HB... :shock: ...
You will be an amazing father. (unless you already are one... but I dunno about that, in which case you must be an amazing father.) It's too bad that kids are generally too stupid to understand the wisdom that you have been preachin today.
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wjca
Sep 29, 2005, 7:49 PM
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I hear ya betty. I'm not saying to go and change every aspect of your life and become unhappy. Not at all. I think that people should do whatever makes them happy. However, it sounds like from reading your posts that you are not completely happy now. What is it that is causing that. Determine that, and fix it. You don't have to change everything, but if your current situation is making you unhappy, you do have to change something, maybe two or three things. I don't know you well enough to really know what that is or should be. If you are totally unwilling to change anything, and are unhappy with your life, you are destined to remain in the same unhappy rut.
At 25, certain things in your life will start to change whether you want them to or not. For example, I bet you have friends that are starting to or have gotten married. These same friends aren't the same people you knew and hung out with just a few years ago are they? This is change in your life that your are reacting to, and it seems like you are reacting in a not so positive way. Try to be proactive and choose what changes in your life. If you don't like it, change it back and try something else. But at least your taking the control.
Oh yeah, for Q, just so nobody starts getting the wrong impression about me...I was reading in that other thread about "posture" where someone mentioned climbing caused overdevelopment of certain muscles. I was thinking how much of a shame it is that it doesn't work the same way for penis size. And to round it out: shit, piss, fuck.
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yanqui
Sep 29, 2005, 7:52 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: climbingbetty22, how old are you? I'm 25.
Give it time. I found the right one at the age of 37. Actually, that's not quite right. Certainly a part of what happened was that I wasn't really ready to BE the right one until I reached the age of 37. And then I happened to meet someone whose chemistry was right (important, no doubt) and who was ready to BE my right one at that point in her life. Now we've been married more than 9 years and it seems to me our relationship works on so many levels.
But don't sweat it if it doesn't come right away. The first 37 years of my life were hardly what I consider wasted time. In fact, I had a blast, really.
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qdiggety
Sep 29, 2005, 8:52 PM
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In reply to: And to round it out: s---, piss, f---.
Whew! That's better! I was getting a little worried.
For Betty:
I'm 27 and there's no place I'd rather be. When I was just about to turn 22, I came real close to getting married to a girl I'd known since I was a little kid. Looking back on that now, I am so glad that didn't happen. There's no way that I would have been able to experience or do the stuff that I have in the last five years.
Of course some people will say that is a bit of a selfish point of view. Eh, fuck 'em. Just because I am not living up to their preconceived notions of what a "grown" up should be, doesn't mean that I should feel guilty about it. I totally agree with the other folks that you have to find out what makes you happy before you can be in a fulfilling relationship. Currently, things are going quite well. I have a great dog (which probably makes up for a lot), lots of hobbies and plenty of friends who share in those hobbies. Gosh darnit, people like me. :wink:
Like Dubya said, step back and take a look at what is driving you to feel the need for a relationship. When it comes to being in a long term relationship, I am in the same boat. I don't think I've ever dated anyone for over 6 months solid. Maybe that's a sign that someone is not ready for that "grown" up committment needed between two people. Does it bother me? No, because I sure as hell know that I don't want to meet someone and get married, have kids, etc. blah blah blah, because that is what is "expected". There are a lot of unhappy people in this area because they followed the societal norms.
Based upon what a lot of the other folks have said here, they never figured they would be in a relationship like they are currently. It just kind of happened. That sure sounds like a plan to me. Have fun, live life to the fullest, enjoy the ride and when someone comes along (finally?) that I can't live without, I sure as hell hope that I'm not too stupid to let them go.
Look at where you are in life. I'd say it sure sounds like you have a lot going for you. Don't get too upset that you don't have an intimate partner to share these with, they just haven't come along yet.
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wjca
Sep 29, 2005, 9:06 PM
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In reply to: Currently, things are going quite well. I have a great dog (which probably makes up for a lot),
[insert] favorite dog fucker joke here [/insert]
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qdiggety
Sep 29, 2005, 9:13 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: Currently, things are going quite well. I have a great dog (which probably makes up for a lot), [insert] favorite dog f--- joke here [/insert]
Durr!!!!! I guess I fell right into that one. No, I do not have a jar of peanut butter either. Just in case you were wondering......
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unabonger
Sep 29, 2005, 9:22 PM
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In reply to: it seems like some of the guys who do some real crazy life-threatening outdoors stuff would get what i'm talking about.
Goddamn you are right. I read your post, and I didn't get it. So then I jumped off my roof face first and maybe its my head injury but damned if all of a sudden with you don't make perfect sense now!
In reply to: spent 3 hours bouldering today. whew.
Well there's your problem. People's climbing styles are an expression of their values and talents. If you're tired after a mere 3 hours of bouldering maybe you should develop more endurance and full blown love relationship will seem easier. Or just go with your strengths and have an eternel string of weekend relationships, the bouldering of romance you know...
UB
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lagr01
Sep 29, 2005, 9:53 PM
Post #87 of 129
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In reply to: In reply to: climbingbetty22, how old are you? I'm 25. I found wjca's post quite interesting, about growing up and putting away the party girl. Here's the problem though. Everyone is saying that you've basically got to be a happy person and like who you are before you can be successfully involved with someone. OK, so what if climbing in the buff on the rare occassion is something I enjoy and makes me happy? Am I suppose to change, become something I'm not and be unhappy, just to be the kind of girl some guy can bring home to Mom? If that's the case, f--- that. I don't want to meet anyone's mama. There has got to be a middle ground where you can be completely happy being who you are, even if that is a bit wild, and yet still be worthy to be loved by someone of the oppostie sex. (Or same if that is your bent.) I guess this is why I find this whole subject frustrating. I think I am a fun person and I trully believe that I have alot of offer someone. I love do special things for someone. Just ask my ex-boyfriend who is going to see his favorite band in concert courtesy of the birthday present I got him. I once hauled two cups and a bottle of favorite wine 3 pitches to the summit of Seneca Rocks to do something special for the guy I was dating at the time. I'm not saying these things to brag, but I am saying it because I got as much enjoyment out of doing these things for them because I cared about them as they did from receiving them. I also mention them to point out that I think its possible for me to be true to who I am and the things I love, yet, still be a little sweet sometimes. What frustrates me is the lack of people who seem to want to get to know that about me; All the guys that practically line up to date the cute little blonde chicks that they have to "protect." But because I'm independent and I can think for myself, I have to be a loser in life. Whatever. I guess if that is the way its going to be, if I'm going to have to pretend to be something I'm not, if I'm going to have to pretend to be retarded to get a date because I'm too intimidating or whatever, then no thanks, I don't want to be in a relationship. If I really have to choose between being happy with who I am and having a relationship, then its going to be A, everytime. *steps down off soapbox* Oh yeah, way to go HB, nice thing about the waves. Very fitting.
I asked your age because, by your post, I got the impression that you feel like you failed in the romantic department and there's no hope for you, and that would make sense if you were like 60 and felt that you can't connect with anyone. But at 25 you're too young to feel that way, you have plenty of time to fix whatever you think you should fix to have the kind relationship you want.
But by the things you said in your latest post I don't think there is anything you should fix. Maybe you should date a different type of guys? guys self confident enough to not to be intimidated by a girl that doesn't need to be protected by them.
Have you been feeling some sort of peer pressure lately? because at 31 I know how annoying some people can get with the "will you ever settle down?" crap.
People's needs are different. Just because someone is happily married at 30 doesn't mean there's something wrong with the 30 year-olds that aren't involved in a serious relationship. There's no such a thing as a right age for settling down. You just do it when you feel like it, not when other people expect you to.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. So if you ask me, it's not you, it's them.
BTW, I remember you said on a previous post that you didn't see yourself as a sweet girl, I think you are completely wrong.
You said :"I love do special things for someone"
And that's what sweet girls do.
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wjca
Sep 29, 2005, 10:07 PM
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In reply to: But by the things you said in your latest post I don't think there is anything you should fix. Maybe you should date a different type of guys?
Two completely contradicting sentences. Yes, there is something to fix, she should start dating guys that want more than just to F*ck her. She's way too cool a chick to be stuck in that role (no joke intended, but still a little funny don't you think? :D ). Also, she needs to stop buying so many pairs of shoes. That's right, betty, I know you probably have shoe buying issues.
I wish you luck. Unfortunately, you caught up with me nine years too late. That's right, I'm a hella of a catch. There is more to me than the charming personality everyone on this site has come to know and love.
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lagr01
Sep 29, 2005, 10:43 PM
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In reply to: Two completely contradicting sentences.
Yeah, I guess there's a contradiction there, but it's because english is my 2nd language.
What I meant by her not needing to fix anything was that she shouldn't change who she is just to satisfy some loser's expectations of what a "sweet" girl is supposed to be.
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charley
Sep 29, 2005, 10:46 PM
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I have been married to the same woman for 39 years. I don't know if that's lucky or not. I was an 18 year old kid when I got married but it has worked.
Betty, growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional. Never change who you are. As a trad climbing,independent, intelligent woman you are prolly dawm intimidating to insecure guys. Hell even to secure guys. When the right guy comes along, you'll know it. You may climb naked with him, or with someone else and maybe someday you won't be doing that anymore. Be happy where ever you are, just enjoy life.
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climbingbetty22
Sep 29, 2005, 11:40 PM
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Perhaps the root of my frustration is really the fact that two weeks from Saturday, I will have to be the bridesmaid in my sister's wedding. My younger sister's wedding.
My only shoe fetish is for mountaineering boots, running shoes and climbing shoes. I own three pairs of dress shoes total and even that is a bit excessive.
Yes, I am a bit unhappy right now. Not with who I am, but just my situation. I'm tired of school, ready to graduate. Ready to be seeing patients. Actually have a little bit of money. And really, I think alot of the frustration that comes across is from my location. From a soul perspective, I need to live in the mountains. I hate the fact that I only get to climb once a month outside. After graduation, I plan to move to Colorado and live somewhere where I can be outside every weekend, and even after work. Once that happens, I'm convince that a truck and dog will be all the companionship I really need in life. If I a wonderful man should come into my life, great. If not, that will work to do.
And because I love you all for the sick twisted minds you are, I already know what you are thinking. The dog is for companionship only. I will not be fucking the dog. That's what they make vibraotrs for for God's sake!!!
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discolegsyndrome
Sep 30, 2005, 1:17 AM
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In reply to: My only shoe fetish is for mountaineering boots, running shoes and climbing shoes.
I need to live in the mountains.
What else would any guy want in a girl?
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clausti
Sep 30, 2005, 1:49 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: My only shoe fetish is for mountaineering boots, running shoes and climbing shoes.
I need to live in the mountains.
What else would any guy want in a girl?
apparetly "sweetness, kindness, and gentleness," or hes gonna fuck her and go home.
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happiegrrrl
Sep 30, 2005, 2:05 AM
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Someone once told me that if I was an orange, I had better just be the best damned orange I could be, and not try to be an apple, thinking everyone wanted apples. Because if I pretended to be an apple, the one who was really hoping for an orange would pass me by on the lookout for that orange.......
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discolegsyndrome
Sep 30, 2005, 2:12 AM
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In reply to: apparetly "sweetness, kindness, and gentleness,"
IMO, overrated.
If a girl is is better at pitching a tent or killing a wild boar with her teeth then why on earth would "sweetness, kindness, and gentleness" come in the picture. I say be who you are, if they don't accept you for that then let them walk. You are better off.
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climbingbetty22
Sep 30, 2005, 2:23 AM
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^^^
True, but seeing so many backsides gets really old after awhile.
Oh yeah, I like it better when the guys do the tent-pitching. :twisted:
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dirtineye
Sep 30, 2005, 2:32 AM
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The answer to your question is, "All the good ones are taken.".
So if you're not taken...
And just because you are taken does not imply that you are good.
But, on the bright side, just remember that nothing is better than something you don't really want.
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discolegsyndrome
Sep 30, 2005, 2:32 AM
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I hear you, it sucks ass having people walk on you. But one just has to go on believing that there is someone out there that will not pee in one's corn flakes. It maybe a bleeding-heart optimistic view of things but it beats the hell out of thinking that it's one's fault the dude/dudette walked out in the first place.
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climbingbetty22
Sep 30, 2005, 2:44 AM
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Well, Dirt, that certainly explains why *you're* not taken.
Meh. Screw boyfriends. You know what I really want right now??? Ice tools. MMMMMmmmmmmm...... :righton:
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