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maculated
Feb 8, 2006, 1:25 AM
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So, in the ongoing drama of maculated unable to get her masters' degree, I need a little advice.
You see, I'm really trying to not get mad.
Last count, the department head and I got into a spat about the exam I'm required to pass to graduate. I said, quite reasonably, that I would be willing to work with him if he were to try to make a rubric for the exam as well as ensure us that questions on the exam were an accurate reflection of class material offered. In exchange, I would teach one course the next two quarters on good faith for an overextended writing department.
Rumors are flying that the MA exam was handled even worse than previously expected. Rumors are flying that the grad advisor, who administers the exam is threatening people with questions on material SPECIFICALLY not covered. Etc etc. It's getting worse. I am getting scared.
For a while there I thought he'd reneged on both parts of his agreement, I haven't heard whether he's pursued my requests, and I never received notice of teaching assignment this quarter - until last week. Typically they send out a schedule request and meet your needs.
Well, he assigns me a schedule of 12-1 pm four days a week which effectually renders me unable to hold another job and one class isn't enough to even pay my rent at the moment. But I have to meet with him.
I've already sent him three emails over the past three weeks asking to schedule a non-office hour appointment that coincides with my work schedule and received no word.
When the scheduling thing came up, I emailed him again, this time saying that if he hadn't responded by today I would take off a day of work to meet him in his office hour.
Which I had to do today. So, I show up at his office hour and everyone's like, oh no, he's cancelled his office hour and he should be in by 3:30, he's incredibly busy. yes, I know.
So I spend the rest of the day waiting, and now here I am in my office after sitting outside the office for four hours and I'm on the verge of anger when really I'm feeling kind of impotent.
I know the guy is busy, but I gave up my day to show him how much I needed to speak to him and I advised him of this. I know he's checked his emails since he still sends emails to others.
I can't pull that again financially. What should I do? Should I deal with the scheduling thing through other means (talk to the helpful secretaries, though he is supposed to talk to him)? Should I just let my demands slide and take the exam again fully knowing that if things are messed up again I am utterly denied an MA forever and ever? Should I send him an email reminding him of my situation?
I'm pretty upset right now, but I don't know how to handle conflicts very well - I'm pretty easy going and work hard not to make others' lives harder but in this case I'm so uncomfortable with where I am in life and it's all to do with him . . . can't pursue anything else until that chapter's closed, and can't feel better until I know what he's got planned for me.
So, advice?
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tattooed_climber
Feb 8, 2006, 1:48 AM
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hummm...like i said in one of your earlier threads in regards to school, you need to smoke more pot...or self-medicate with sour mash (guys will find it classy/sassy :P )
my med student sis attempted to pull a bitchfest on me the other day......ok..,...hum, its her 7th year of post secondary school (or 8th), i'm immune...i've heard it all...and i do sympathize though....
me>>>i start school in 3 months, i have 5,000 worth of debt (THAT I HAVE TO PAY NOW), 9,000 of tuition and books...its a two year course...and at the end of it, i'll have to pay 1500 to 2000 to redo my industral level 3 first aid ticket and all my welding tickets.......i've been doing alot of gear whoring lately (i didn't plan to get into the course this early)...YAHHHH ME....and hell no i ain't sellin my truck and i'm not working weekends...maybe i should try them scratch 'n wins and the lottery
just think of your next move in front of you...don't worry, be happy (as mr marley so put it)
just look past all the shiney shit and look for the good...in two years my starting wage will be 30+ an hour, i'll be debt free, i'll still have an aid rack, and i'll be a young dead sexy machinist
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maculated
Feb 8, 2006, 1:49 AM
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OMG . . . I had a question to posting that. i didn't want "look for the shiny stuff." Come now.
What do I do about that situation? I just lost $100 and I'm a day behind in work because of this.
And Mr. Marley, didn't say "Don't worry, be happy." You are like, totally, like, raping anyone who likes reggae by saying that.
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macherry
Feb 8, 2006, 2:23 AM
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stop jumping through hoops. seems that this guy has you doing "the dance" for him, dangling the ma as the carrot.
tell you what.........after all that shit, i would walk.
or, continue to jump through the hoops, it's your call.
what kind of advice are you looking for, or do you need support and validation in your decision.
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rufusandcompany
Feb 8, 2006, 2:43 AM
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In reply to: stop jumping through hoops. seems that this guy has you doing "the dance" for him, dangling the ma as the carrot. tell you what.........after all that s---, i would walk. or, continue to jump through the hoops, it's your call. what kind of advice are you looking for, or do you need support and validation in your decision.
I agree with Marge. He is dangling the carrot, because you are allowing him to do so. I completely understand your desire to procure your MA, but you should not allow yourself to be taken advantage of in the process. My advice is to prepare as best as you can, and then retake the exam and let the chips fall where they may.
I wish you well with whatever you decide to do, and I am sorry that you have to endure this person's inconsiderate behavior.
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organic
Feb 8, 2006, 3:07 AM
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Hey Mac I find the same thing a lot with the head of my department at school. A true leader knows how to delegate, busy should not be an excuse. I also think so many people are wussies nowadays and avoid conflict at all costs. I suggest you find his phone number and call him, numerous times and/or go behind his back, email other people in the department you are on good terms with and tell them the troubles that you are having.
Mac also do you have test taking anxiety? If so that might be an issue to be addressed. I think you need to believe in yourself! I am sure you have amassed a wealth of knowledge studying for this thing twice. What does it hurt going for it again? Believe in yourself kmac and you can accomplish anything!
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styndall
Feb 8, 2006, 3:15 AM
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I don't know which university you're at right now, but it might be worth your time to send a tentative email or two to other universities with MA English programs around California. It sounds like you've been given a really raw deal from some of the faculty at your place, and another university might be a bit sympathetic. I know transfer once you've started grad school is practically impossible, but you might get some advice from people who have some actual (read: non-random internet people) insight into your options in dealing with your department.
I know the MA is a really big deal; I'd have a near heart attack if I were going through what you are. I'll light you a candle.
EDIT: What organic said. An ally on the faculty would help a lot. If it weren't for Jared Klein pulling some strings for me, I might be back in my tent at Yosemite right now.
not that there's anything wrong with that
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climbingbetty22
Feb 8, 2006, 3:45 AM
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If this guy is being a complete dick, can you go over his head to the dean of the department? Appeal your case all the way up to the president if you have to. Perhaps having the people who hold his job in their clutches will provoke a more immediate response from him...
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maculated
Feb 8, 2006, 4:45 AM
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In reply to: Mac also do you have test taking anxiety? If so that might be an issue to be addressed. I think you need to believe in yourself! I am sure you have amassed a wealth of knowledge studying for this thing twice. What does it hurt going for it again? Believe in yourself kmac and you can accomplish anything!
I think not. It's already been proven that the stuff I'm generating for these exams has qualified me for graduation with distinction *IF* I pass the exam again. But the fact that I got high passes (which qualify the distinction) and fails on the same exam means that while I have confidence in my ability, I have zero confidence in the test graders.
Anyway, I *DID* sort of take yours and Styndall's advice and emailed the interim dean of the College of Liberal Arts - but only as a friend. She's an old prof of mine that is the reason I really got into grad school and wanted a PhD. I ran into her today while I was waiting for the department head and she was so nice to me (again) that I decided I'd lay it out for her advice.
I feel like that's a breech of professionalism, but I'm about to give up so what do I care?
Also, side note: I 'm so tired of the fluffy "anything can happen if you go for it" shit people toss around when they are doing okay in life. So far this year I've tried to open a gym, only to be stymied by people not willing to put in enough work to help me; I've tried to open a co-op, only to be told by much richer friends than I that they aren't willing to contribute money, nor time (because time is money); and I went from having the goal of getting a PhD to thinking that maybe I'd rather just be a desk jockey with no particular future goals so I never have to feel like this again. There's a glass ceiling and it hurts to hit it, especially when you were the person always pointing out the shiny silver lining.
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macherry
Feb 8, 2006, 5:21 AM
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mac, you're going to get the "sunshine blown up your ass" response when you shop around for advice.
sorry about your situation, but you're young, healthy and you'll persevere.
being, ahem, quite a few years older than you, i've seen what shit life can throw, not necessarily to me, but to others.
biggest life lesson was watching my brother and his wife lose their daughter to cancer. My brother lost his job due to all the time he took off and my sister-in-law barely made enough to get them through. They lost everything.........especially the most precious thing in their life. This happened in their forties.
I saw them piece their lives back together........definitely my heroes. There's always time for a fresh start.
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dirtineye
Feb 8, 2006, 5:46 AM
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"But the fact that I got high passes (which qualify the distinction) and fails on the same exam means that while I have confidence in my ability, I have zero confidence in the test graders. "
This could not happen in a subject such as Mathematics. You really should go to higher authority and ask for an explanation.
I had the same sort of grading trouble with Education 'professors' and philosophy 'profesors'.
The people who suggest looking at other schools might be right if you can change without losing too much. Sounds like some of your department has a grudge against you.
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maculated
Feb 8, 2006, 6:56 AM
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Trust me, there's no grudge. It's just how the school is, I guess. I am pretty sure that everyone universally likes me.
My father is telling me to just walk and give up. If I fight, I can't win. These are not lessons I want to be learning, I guess.
He reminded me it's like the thing with Geo. That guy was such an ass, never showed up to a single court appearance and nothing I did would help. He tried to get me in trouble with the school by saying I was threatening him on letterhead (which I wasn't), eventually I just gave up. He was going to win . . . and you fight for what you think is right, but in all reality, I'm out much more now and have nothing to show for it and this guy goes around telling people I'm making false claims about him.
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tgreene
Feb 8, 2006, 2:47 PM
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Have you consider looking into Phoenix University..? Both my sister and father work there, and have been transferred around the country to 3 different campuses. My father teaches the Masters in Business Administration online program as well as a few on-campus classes, and if you would like, I would be happy to send you his contact info.
He's actually had a few pro ball players under him, that he's worked very closely with. Also, since it's an online curriculum, he's pretty much always available via phone, and has on occassion had students come to their house for 1-on-1 tutoring.
It does sound to me like your particular school seems to specialize more in drama than reality, so looking elsewhere may very well be in your best interest.
Good luck with whatever path you choose.
-Tim
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wideguy
Feb 8, 2006, 3:00 PM
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In reply to: If this guy is being a complete dick, can you go over his head to the dean of the department? Appeal your case all the way up to the president if you have to. Perhaps having the people who hold his job in their clutches will provoke a more immediate response from him...
Exactly what I was going to say.
Beyond that, start looking at the state education board. When a good friend of mine had trouble with a professor, (Whos daughter he was boinking :lol: ) holding up his exam to finish his Bachelors in culinary arts/restaurant management, he was able to get the state to force the school to appoint an independant panel, excluding the professor in question, to create and administer his exam. The board made certain the exam was in keeping with the established guidelines of the school and the class material that had been covered. When he passed that the school overruled his prof and passed him on the class. Diploma in hand he went into the real world, managed a banquet service at Wyndham Hotel in Oregon. which he promptly quick and now makes a tidy living as an auto mechanic. 8^)
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maculated
Feb 8, 2006, 4:12 PM
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You know, thanks guys. My father and I had a serious fight about it last night and told me to basically just roll over because fighting this will never win and I need to stop trying to because obviously it's not in the cards.
I kept going, "But you think it's fair that I spent two years of my life and a lot of money on this to just walk away because they screw me?" "Well, God knows you can't do anything about it."
I hope you're right that I can.
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gene723
Feb 8, 2006, 11:02 PM
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I will read the other posts on this thread but haven't yet because I gotta go but I always assumed that the politics of academia weren't that different from the politics elsewhere. I think yanqui brought this up on your other thread: "I failed...."
Yanqui mentioned something about there being "expectations" (more like obedience to what they want) that the professors had and yanqui asked if maybe this "facist" kind of relationship wasn't adhered to. I'm not sure if anyone noticed what yanqui said in that thread and I wanted to press him on it but didn't want to change the subject. But in my experience (when there is a disagreement of ideas) I let my professor "be right" (in my own patronizing sometimes sardonic way) just to get my grade. Chomsky pointed this out too when he talks about academia.
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rufusandcompany
Feb 8, 2006, 11:16 PM
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In reply to: You know, thanks guys. My father and I had a serious fight about it last night and told me to basically just roll over because fighting this will never win and I need to stop trying to because obviously it's not in the cards. I kept going, "But you think it's fair that I spent two years of my life and a lot of money on this to just walk away because they screw me?" "Well, God knows you can't do anything about it." I hope you're right that I can.
You need to ask yourself what is most important - getting the paper or your pride?
If there is fair margin of possibility that you will get the paper by jumping through hoops, then it comes down to how much you really want it. Nothing stops me from enduring all obstacles when I really want something.
If your comfort, peace-of-mind, pride, etc are more important, then just walk away.
It is time for you to live in the here and now. Forget what you have already invested, unless you are using it as a driving force to get you to your goal of procuring the piece of parchment. Your choices in the here-and-now are simple: You want it badly enough or you don't. Focus on those two options and you will find your answer.
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climbingnurse
Feb 9, 2006, 12:02 AM
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tatoo dude: What kind of a moron thinks that Bob Marley could have possible written or sung "Don't Worry, Be Happy"? You are a disgrace.
Mac: This whole thing seriously sucks! I really think you should do what you can to get people higher up at the school to listen to you. I have to believe someone will have the integrity and balls to make this whole thing right.
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apolobamba
Feb 9, 2006, 12:29 AM
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I would push on, take their crap, and take their exam again. If you pass and get into a great PhD program, your years of misery will slowly dissipate. Then when you are a Department Head at some small college hosting a Graham Greene’s Retrospective, you can call your professor an SOB in front of your peers. Better yet, forget to pick him up and make him catch a bus from a piss-stinking shelter off campus.
When doing engineering economics, we don’t factor what we paid for the equipment. That money is already gone. We only look at continued maintenance costs vs. replacement costs and the new maintenance costs. You can not look at your time invested as having any worth. Your time and money is gone: you are starting new. If you want this degree, go forward – if not, move on.
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charley
Feb 9, 2006, 12:41 AM
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get on jeopardy.
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maculated
Feb 9, 2006, 1:09 AM
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What has Kristin already done for 100, Alex? College Jeopardy - it was a major goal for me. Unfortunately I forgot to say "What is" too much and got cut - but I made the initial tests.
Anyway, my friend the dean said she's checking into the situation for me. We'll see. This is no longer a question of pride, but sanity. I have no problem going in and taking the test again, but I know that right now that no matter how I study, my odds are only 50/50. I cannot live with that. We'll see how it goes.
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blonde_loves_bolts
Feb 9, 2006, 1:41 AM
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You seem to know the extent of bureaucratic BS in the time you've personally dealt with higher education. You definitely have more experience here than me, and I'm not pretending to identify with your situation, but maybe what might help is if you made yourself less available, eg. what macherry alluded to.
Unfortunately, while I have no advice in dealing with grad school obstacles, I have been to more colleges and universities than most grad students. When UCB tried to charge me nonresident tuition for the 9 months I spent living in a dorm elsewhere (while still registered to vote in CA, with CA driver's license, etc.), I tried contacting the department head to no avail. After several weeks with no word, even with repeated one-sided email correspondence, I did the Let's-look-up-every-number-in-the-entire-&*^%ing-administration and called every one of them down the list and emailed every applicable address, pseudo-threatening legal action, until SOMEONE got back to me. I then was gracious and accommodating to what they needed from me to rectify the situation. So this particular asshole could care less about you - talk to his secretary, talk to people over his head, talk to anyone you have to in order to get through.
Last semester, I had an emergency situation involving the police and a $1000 repair job on my car the morning of my first final. I emailed my TA immediately and requested an extension, as I had all corresponding evidence to justify my reason for missing the exam. I also told a friend in the class to pass on the information. He didn't get back to me for 5 hours, then told me at 1 PM that I had one hour to get to campus and take the exam. After negotiating the wonders of public transportation, I showed up at his office, only to find that he'd gone to lunch (but would "be right back"). After waiting for 4 hours, I talked to everyone left in the department about the situation, whether they gave a damn or not. I wrote down everything that had happened that day, including his absence, made a zillion copies and left them where they needed to be left and retained a copy for myself. The next day, he told me that I had missed my window of opportunity and I would get an incomplete for the course (which I had an A in prior to the final). So I passive-aggressively threatened to take the issue wherever I could, and I finally got to make up that exam and the others I missed.
Anyway, the bottom line is something like this: Be an asshole on paper, if you have to, and be a sweetheart when you're dealing with them in person. Don't let them see you flustered, but don't be afraid to work the situation when the moment arises. Good luck.
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slobmonster
Feb 9, 2006, 3:07 AM
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In reply to: You need to ask yourself what is most important - getting the paper or your pride?
You can be right, or you can win.
Given my own experience, and what I know of your own, I doubt you can do both. However it turns out, you will have to live with it; though it may not bolster your confidence hearing me say it, IT WILL ALL WORK OUT. The End is a long ways away.
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nikegirl
Feb 9, 2006, 4:18 AM
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In reply to: Mac also do you have test taking anxiety? If so that might be an issue to be addressed. I think you need to believe in yourself! I am sure you have amassed a wealth of knowledge studying for this thing twice. What does it hurt going for it again? Believe in yourself kmac and you can accomplish anything!
BLAh blah BLAH...^^^^^^^^
xanax...yes, I said xanax and Yoga...day of test.
yoga, practiced, two days before the test.
just kiddin about the ^^^
BLAh blah BLAH... ;)
~T
did this on the first day my divorce mediation...kicked ass.
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