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maculated
Feb 21, 2006, 5:25 AM
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Which is it? Do you live your life for the here and now, or do you live your life investing on the future? How's it worked out for you?
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climbinginchico
Feb 21, 2006, 6:19 AM
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Both.
I love what's happening here and now. My life is pretty good, I have a great job and I get to have a lot of fun.
But I'm also definitely looking forward to my life with the woman I love.
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zozo
Feb 21, 2006, 6:26 AM
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I dont understand this thread.
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t-dog
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Feb 21, 2006, 6:35 AM
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here and now, for sure!
I can deal with the "later" part when it gets here and becomes the "now", :lol:
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mowz
Feb 21, 2006, 6:44 AM
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a little bit from column A and a little bit from column B
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maculated
Feb 21, 2006, 7:40 AM
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In reply to: here and now, for sure! I can deal with the "later" part when it gets here and becomes the "now", :lol:
Ahh T-dog - how I dig you. And this coming from the guy always asking about my future plans. :)
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epoch
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Feb 21, 2006, 12:35 PM
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Sometimes here and now. Other times it's an investment.
Today it's a mix. Tomorrow, I dunno???
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jammer
Feb 21, 2006, 1:29 PM
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That depends on what you are talking about. Take a house, for example. It's an investment in the future that you enjoy today!
Now, if your talking about a gigantic nest egg ... I'd opt for today and put less into tomorrow. Hell, tomorrow may never come. :)
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charley
Feb 21, 2006, 1:45 PM
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Like most things in life, you must find a balance. If you do everything for the now you may suffer like the grasshopper in the future. If you put all you hopes in the future you will someday find yourself old and wishing you had done whatever it was that you didn't do. As you age you, or at least I, lean more towards the now cause there is less of the future. I would tend to live for the now cause I don't want to be old and wishing I had tried this. I also save for the future. This would also depend on what you are talking about.
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t-dog
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Feb 21, 2006, 2:47 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: here and now, for sure! I can deal with the "later" part when it gets here and becomes the "now", :lol: Ahh T-dog - how I dig you. And this coming from the guy always asking about my future plans. :)
lol, that's because it's obviously about what's happening "later" for you, over what's happening now. Unless you count injury recovery, in which case it's the other way around :lol:
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styndall
Feb 21, 2006, 4:13 PM
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You probably already know that for me, it's later.
I know that I want to be a professor and, more importantly, to be able to write and think about indo-european reconstruction in an intelligent manner. There is no way to go about this that is extremely pleasant. So I go to school, take out loans that will hurt in a few years, spend half my day staring at sanskrit poetry, and get maybe a climbing day every two weeks.
But hopefully it'll be worth it. My friend John, just finishing his MA here this semester, got notice that he's fully funded and welcome for a classics PhD at Cornell, starting in the fall. I'm hoping for something similar.
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maculated
Feb 21, 2006, 5:20 PM
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In reply to: lol, that's because it's obviously about what's happening "later" for you, over what's happening now. Unless you count injury recovery, in which case it's the other way around :lol:
Touché. You'll be glad to know I'm injury free at the moment. Shoulder still says, "You be careful now" but :PPPP
Okay, not getting the responses I need, so I'm going to ask in a more clear manner. I'm FAR more interested in what people in their 40s and beyond think, people who've achieved or not acheived their goals - I could ask this of my friends in town otherwise.
I'm at a crossroads, and I'm living for the "now" right now, at least until June. But here's the thing. I have decisions in my life to make that affect the rest of my life when I make them.
Do you make choices based on what you like now, or what you think you may want in the future? Like, if my number one goal (hypothetically) is getting married within five years and popping out a young 'un and I don't think my life is going that way - is it my duty to change my life in the hopes of making it go that way? Or do you say, "I will be the person I'm inclined to be and hope it works out?"
I mean, this applies to family, career, hobbies, etc. I wonder how much of the pressure I put on myself to "succeed" is artificial or what, I guess. Is it truly enough to merely "get by" and never amount to anything spectacular (which is kind of how I feel the "right now" philosophy leads one)?
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waynew
Feb 21, 2006, 5:37 PM
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Going up the middle works - some days more for the now and some days more for the later. When the kid(s) pops out your perspective will likely shift a bit(!) and you'll begin to see more of what you have to offer other people. Guaranteed that this question will fade in significance...
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tonypurmal
Feb 21, 2006, 6:01 PM
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I'm a member of your target response group (I'm 48) and I agree with the balance responses. I live both for now and for later. I'd say I put more emphasis on the now than the later though.
I think that the now and later question really isn't the root of my decision making however. My philosophy of living is based more on a combination of doing what feels right along with being open to possibilities. It involves being aware of what is important to me and allowing things to come into my life rather than deciding there is only one set way to achieve my goals.
On the other hand I also know that there are certain skills or knowledge that one must acquire in order to achieve certain goals. Choosing to prepare ones self for the future to me isn't inconsistent with my philosophy. Although I am making a choice to acquire a skill or knowledge (because it feels like the right thing to do) I also know I may end up using it in a way totally unrelated to any goal I had in mind when I embarked on the learning. In addition, sometimes in learning a new skill one finds out that the allure of something thinks is important isn't really there.
For example with the hypothetical example of wanting to be married in five years and pushing out a kid, I'd ask how much experience the person had with kids if that were their goal. If they didn't have any experience, I'd recommend spending time around a bunch of kids to determine if they really enjoyed kids to the point of wanting one. Otherwise it might be they wanted a kid because they'd picked up on a family or societal pressure that it's what they should want.
Overall I'm generally very happy with my life now. I certainly am not in a situation I'd have seen as successful when viewing the future in my 20's. But I've also discovered parts of myself that I didn't know existed when I was in my 20's. I genuinely believe I found those parts of myself by not sticking to a given vision of success and satisfaction.
My wife and I have been able to achieve things were didn't expect to be possible by being open to the possibilities. We find that when we run our life this way we tend to be rewarded with wonderful surprises. We shoot towards specific goals and desires and allow ourselves to flow off course. We often achieve our goals and also end up experiencing things we wouldn't have dreamed of doing.
Best of luck on your journey and I hope you find peace and serenity along the way.
Tony
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madriver
Feb 21, 2006, 9:08 PM
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guilty of being in your target group.....so here goes...
After I got married and started having kids everything changed for me. My whole outlook on life and success. To a fault I do almost everything for "the later" or my kids. I tend to take less of a risk in both buisness and life. I invest for the long term. I live for creating a worry free life for my kids not me. I encourage my kids to challenge themseves and alow them to take risks where I may not. I have been somewhat succsessful and continue to pursue that sucsses with my kids in mind. In other words I changed my outlook on life after I had kids. I really don't need or want much more. My life is driven by my pusuit of creating the best in opportinuties for my children. While I am comfortable in life, I am by no means what might be called rich. I am comfortable with my modest means becuase it allows me to grow with my children rather than being a workaholic that rarely sees his wife or kids (obviously you twit...you hang out here). I can travel with them at will and facilitate their pursuits.
So in a nutshell, I justify my humble life knowing that my kids still tolerate me and continue to have fun with me becuase I have fun with them. Anyway, as you can tell I love my kids, they are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. So for now it's all about the later. However...as soon as the Rat Bastards are off in College....WHEEEEEE HAW....I'll be Bach and you can be Mozart!!!
Best of Luck
Bob
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e_free
Feb 21, 2006, 9:12 PM
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In reply to: Which is it? Do you live your life for the here and now, or do you live your life investing on the future? How's it worked out for you?
Both! :D
http://www.ebulkcandy.com/...res/1nowandlater.jpg
I used to love this candy when I was a kid. My mom got me hooked on the stupid jokes/facts inside the wrapper.
Anyway, you can only really live in the moment you're in. But, we will all need "stuff" as long as we live: now, in 5 years, in 15 years, and in 30 years. You might not know how things will turn out, but you can at least have some resources (material and immaterial) available to you for as long and far as you're willing to go to pursue those things that matter most to you :)
So live now AND invest for the future!
Living now, itself, is an investment for the future :D
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rmsusa
Feb 21, 2006, 11:28 PM
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In reply to: Do you make choices based on what you like now, or what you think you may want in the future? Like, if my number one goal (hypothetically) is getting married within five years and popping out a young 'un and I don't think my life is going that way - is it my duty to change my life in the hopes of making it go that way? Or do you say, "I will be the person I'm inclined to be and hope it works out?"
Mac,
I'm certainly in your target range. Maybe a bit over.
IMHO, the only way anybody achieves anything is by deciding where they want to go and then heading there. The only way anybody knows where they want to go is by being aware of possible futures and having some opinion about them. That's not to say that your ideas about where you're going can't change. Just be aware of where you are and where you want to go. It's just basic wilderness navigation. You have to live in the present and have some idea of where you want to go in the future.
I may get flamed for this, but I'm going to suggest some reading:
1. Tony Robbins - Awaken the Giant Within
This is a book about decisions and their consequences.
2. Stephen Covey - 7 habits of highly effective people
This is a book about techniques for getting where you're going
Both of these books are highly inspirational and we all need inspiration now and again. They won't tell you what to do, but they'll give you a new way to think about things.
One of the most important lessons I ever learned is the importance of a decision. Generally, it doesn't matter what it is, but deciding and sticking to it (till it becomes untenable) is incredibly important. Don't try to map your life out, but decide on a general direction. And yes, if you have a number one goal, you definitely should change your life to get there. Otherwise it's a fantasy rather than a goal. If you don't decide, other people will decide for you. You can control or be controlled. The world is full of controlled people with a victims attitude. Don't be one of them. Just do it!
Personally, I think you should move into a bigger social, intellectual and genetic circle to expose yourself to a lot of possible futures. San Luís Obispo is just too small for a person with your potential. I guess I've said that before. I believe in your potential, otherwise why would I write?
rmsusa
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maculated
Feb 21, 2006, 11:40 PM
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In reply to: Personally, I think you should move into a bigger social, intellectual and genetic circle to expose yourself to a lot of possible futures. San Luís Obispo is just too small for a person with your potential. I guess I've said that before. I believe in your potential, otherwise why would I write?
Thank you everyone.
I guess I need to answer this. Much like Madriver's drive to improve his children's lives, my father has done the same for me. He's worked his entire life and is still my safety net when things don't go well if I need it. The biggest lesson I've ever learned from him is that I don't want to work hard and give up everything I love without good reason.
I live in San Luis, and I want to stay here, because while it's not a place for me to realize whatever this potential is that everyone sees in me, it's a place I am happy. It is beautiful, it is not the city (I hate cities - and I also have the peculiar hobby of rock climbing as well as teaching dogs to herd sheep - so that means giving up both of those pretty much).
That's the thing, it's this "potential" thing that makes me feel like I should be living for the "later' though I don't know what to do with this "potential." It's the hobbies and the place that makes me live for the now.
Make sense? Advising me to move is advising me to give up the solid things I know I DO like in favor of stuff I don't know anything about. I'm not afraid of moving, but moving simply because is not good enough for me.
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aaronbr86
Feb 22, 2006, 1:31 AM
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Definitely now. I'm in a committed relationship and plan to marry my g/f down the road (after college and part of grad school for her) but I live life now. I know I will be tied down in a desk job in a few years so I'm enjoying college life and having fun while I can.
-Aaron
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wes_allen
Feb 22, 2006, 4:21 AM
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Ever read the tao of pooh? If not, I would suggest it, as it is something I read when I feel like I am not sure about my life, or the direction it is heading.
Not quite in your target group yet, but I don't fight to hard one way or the other, just sorta let the future come to me, and make my decisions as they need to be made. I don't really have plans for the future, just ideas. Ideas are easy to change or drop or pick up new ones. Plans are a bit more rigid.
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rmsusa
Feb 22, 2006, 5:35 PM
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In reply to: I don't want to work hard and give up everything I love without good reason.
You're engaging in hyperbolic thinking. You'll certainly work no matter where you're physically located. Is EVERYTHING you love simply unavailable anywhere else in the world? Don't be ridiculous.
In reply to: Advising me to move is advising me to give up the solid things I know I DO like in favor of stuff I don't know anything about
Exactly!! Down deep, you're starting to see. Scary things are worth more, once accomplished. Go ahead, step out of your comfort zone. It'll expand to fit a new situation. It's like making a first ascent and stepping around that corner.
The most scary things I've ever done: Move, marry and start a business (not all at the same time). Life changes are hard and with each change we grieve for what we left behind. I felt bad about leaving academics, horrible about moving to San Diego, terrified about giving up a paycheck to start a business. All of these things have enriched my life beyond anything I might have believed before it happened.
In reply to: ...it's a place I am happy.
It's been pretty abundantly shown that people are capable of being happy wherever they are.
Life IS change. At some point most of us leave school, stop doing gymnastics, start ballroom lessons, learn a foreign language, give up doing woodwork for playing an instrument. For everything that we stop doing, there's something else we start. It's just shifting life-stages, priorities and time-management.
Please analyze your feelings about cities. Hate is a very strong word and I'm surprised to see it in your writing. Have you ever lived in a big city? There are a few hundred thousand people who really love Seattle (for instance) and wouldn't consider living anywhere else. There are huge numbers of people who just love living in NYC. Are they all stupid? What do they see in the place? Why can't you appreciate the same things they do? The same can be said for any big city you can name. Would you mind living in Paris, Berlin or Rome?
Look for the positive in the world.
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maculated
Feb 23, 2006, 2:01 AM
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oops
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maculated
Feb 23, 2006, 2:13 AM
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rmsusa, you're treading ground that's not yours to tread.
In reply to: You're engaging in hyperbolic thinking. You'll certainly work no matter where you're physically located. Is EVERYTHING you love simply unavailable anywhere else in the world? Don't be ridiculous.
Do you know what I love? It's not rollerskating.
In reply to: Life IS change. At some point most of us leave school, stop doing gymnastics, start ballroom lessons, learn a foreign language, give up doing woodwork for playing an instrument. For everything that we stop doing, there's something else we start. It's just shifting life-stages, priorities and time-management.
Maybe for you. I commit to my interests more so than others. Do you have any interests that you've maintained for fifteen years? I do.
In reply to: Please analyze your feelings about cities. Hate is a very strong word and I'm surprised to see it in your writing. Have you ever lived in a big city? There are a few hundred thousand people who really love Seattle (for instance) and wouldn't consider living anywhere else. There are huge numbers of people who just love living in NYC. Are they all stupid? What do they see in the place? Why can't you appreciate the same things they do? The same can be said for any big city you can name. Would you mind living in Paris, Berlin or Rome?
Yes. I would mind.
*Your* hyperbolic thinking is offensive to me. I don't hate people who choose to live in cities. They have different interests than I do. People should not simply become sheep because it is easy.
I asked a question about now versus later. That is all. You don't know why I've asked or what I'll do with that information. But telling me that my thought process is incorrect and that I should do what you say or I am a fool is stupid.
Condescending to me about moving to a new city or starting a business is ridiculous. I've done both. Perhaps I am not the person you're projecting me to be who doesn't want to leave the town she grew up in because she's afraid.
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gene723
Feb 24, 2006, 10:54 PM
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I used to live my life wholly in the future but that's understandable when you're a student but now that I'm out of school....well.....I still live a lot of my life in the future but I leave a little (which is becoming a lot) of time to live in the present - i.e., the pursuit of hedonistic activities.
during my off time and "living in the present" I learned rockclimbing, geopolitics, ancient classics, and more about people as well as myself. I never cared much about socializing because I thought it was a waste of time but I love it now that I have a more hedonistic lifestyle. I actually didn't even discover the "funess" of message boards such as these till recently even.
hedonism is the best! (no irony here).
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