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maculated
Mar 21, 2006, 6:35 AM
Post #26 of 37
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In reply to: Does this ever really happen? I have yet to experience this sort of thing...I seriously doubt that guys get this excited over a chick...or least normal chicks like myself- not the kind that appear in movies and stuff.
Ahh, don't lower your expectations so much, my dear. My best friend/climbing partner got a crush on a guy that lives in LA over a weekend skiing with him, told him, and he's now been DRIVING UP THE PAST two weeks, and TAKING OFF WORK to hang out with her. I am like, "Damn, this is the kind of stuff girls dream about and guys actually do that!" AND he's phenomenal in bed, too! Lordy!
Largo, that's basically my approach here - I don't need a dude, and I don't need a dude that puts me off for whatever excuse. I got "dumped" by a guy this summer who was stringing me along with ambiguity by telling me one night that he couldn't go to a party - he had to hang out with his "whatchamacallit." I have IMPECCABLY bad luck with dudes. I wouldn't even bother if I had not accepted this fact by now. :) I honestly agree he's probably got me as a backup.
Also, you know, Rufus and followers, you're falling into what is known as stereotype traps. Girls DO love to overanalyze dates after the fact, but no one takes it seriously that I know of. You know, I'll say something dorky on a date and be like, "Woah, probably not okay to say until he knows my personality" (and then think that's stupid as I say that stuff all the time and people still seem to like me) but it's not like, "He's not touching me, is he touching me? His fork is pointing at me, what's that mean? Does he like me?" I think I spend more time thinking about how he's cute and what I'd like to do to him if we got somewhere more private. The overanalysis comes later - like after you get fucked up emails from them. :)
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rockguide
Mar 21, 2006, 12:16 PM
Post #27 of 37
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Ambiguous mixed messages used to confuse me, until I realized that no message is more clear than a mixed message.
Mixed messages mean "it" isn't there.
Stop. Drop. Roll.
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tradman
Mar 21, 2006, 12:29 PM
Post #28 of 37
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Mac, have you considered asking him what he thinks and wants instead of asking us?
(not that we're not flattered)
:wink:
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maculated
Mar 21, 2006, 4:38 PM
Post #29 of 37
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I did in a roundabout way. It pisses me off when people hide behind email so I just said he was sending mixed messages. No response, not that I expected one.
It's never been my policy to find these guys from the hole they're hiding in and ask them, "Why? WHY??" I am pretty sure that more than 75% of the time, it has nothing to do with me, so whatever.
:)
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irish_ice
Mar 21, 2006, 7:47 PM
Post #31 of 37
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Mac, long time not chat. It's hard to get relationship advice because everyone does things and thinks differently. If you need/want clarity the best place to get it is straight from the horses mouth. My guess would be things just didn't click, guy obviously seems too preoccupied to have time for the kind of relationship you want/deserve, and he's got your number and your email. Relationships should be 50-50 and if it's starting out with you making all the effort, it's very doubtful that will change. If he made that much of an impact on you that you want to see him again, shoot him one last note telling him how you feel and that he knows how to get in touch with you, then move on (easier said than done, I know). There is nothing anyone can say that will make you understand because once you think you've got it figured out you'll meet a new guy and it will be a completely different deal, maybe better, maybe worse, but always different. Unfortunately we usually go through a lot of practice runs before we find what we didn't know we were looking for and you still won't understand everything he does! :wink:
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madriver
Mar 21, 2006, 7:56 PM
Post #32 of 37
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Registered: Oct 17, 2001
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...aren't relationships like a "Box of Chocolates"?
F. Gump
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climbingbetty22
Mar 22, 2006, 12:56 AM
Post #33 of 37
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In reply to: In reply to: Does this ever really happen? I have yet to experience this sort of thing...I seriously doubt that guys get this excited over a chick...or least normal chicks like myself- not the kind that appear in movies and stuff. Ahh, don't lower your expectations so much, my dear. My best friend/climbing partner got a crush on a guy that lives in LA over a weekend skiing with him, told him, and he's now been DRIVING UP THE PAST two weeks, and TAKING OFF WORK to hang out with her. I am like, "Damn, this is the kind of stuff girls dream about and guys actually do that!" AND he's phenomenal in bed, too! Lordy!
I thought I had had that too....until we broke up. :cry: :wtf:
At any rate, I find your comment quite interesting given the number of guys, whom, earlier in this thread, confessed that when you like a girl, the best way to act is aloof intially and to not be too accessible, lest she get scared by a guy who is "too interested."
:boring: Different strokes for different folks I guess.
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caughtinside
Mar 22, 2006, 12:59 AM
Post #34 of 37
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Registered: Jan 8, 2003
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Different 'strokes' indeed! :boring: :boring: :boring: :boring: :boring:
I love wanking smiley.
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slobmonster
Mar 22, 2006, 4:43 AM
Post #35 of 37
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Registered: Jul 28, 2003
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In reply to: I love wanking |
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cindylou
Mar 22, 2006, 5:11 AM
Post #36 of 37
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Registered: Mar 17, 2005
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In reply to: Ambiguous mixed messages used to confuse me, until I realized that no message is more clear than a mixed message. Mixed messages mean "it" isn't there. Stop. Drop. Roll.
O wow, I just had an epiphany.
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jemco
Mar 25, 2006, 3:56 PM
Post #37 of 37
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Registered: Jan 17, 2005
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Mac (and others) I thought I would share some advice that my wife took way back when she was "interested" in me and I didn't know it. She asked her friend if she should call me and leave a message on my phone or if that was too "forward". Her friend noted, "if he can't handle you leaving a message on the phone than he certainly can't handle you" We are happily married and are expecting our first child in two months. The moral of this story is that you need to do what makes you feel right. Eventually, you will find the guy that can not only handle that, but will love you for it.
jemco
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