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carabiner96
Apr 17, 2006, 12:03 AM
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I really don't mind being the belay bitch, but this was just too much.
I was belaying this guy on a trip i was on, and he was about ten feet up when he let a huge one rip. Usually this wouldn't be a big deal, but there was no wind that day and this guy is infamous for his rank-ass rips. like, INFAMOUS.
All he said was "whoops" and pick his ass, followed by a nut scratch when he topped out. "Hey", he said once he came down, "My balls could use a little rub down. Eh?"
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dutyje
Apr 17, 2006, 1:07 AM
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I don't get it
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carabiner96
Apr 17, 2006, 1:08 AM
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well, i was kinda hoping this would encourage other people to share their worst belaying moments, but i guess the point was missed? oh well.
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republiclimber
Apr 17, 2006, 1:37 AM
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since i can vote today, i'll give you an A for effort
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j_ung
Apr 17, 2006, 1:31 PM
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I was belaying for a girlfriend in a climbing gym... she was at clip number three on a sharp arete. Legs shaking like the San Fran quake and forearms pumped like water balloons, she blew the clip and popped into the air. With so little rope in the system and most of it out for the clip, she hit that cord hard. I was instantly yanked off the ground and started flying forward toward the arete. I tried to cushion myself with my guide hand, but to no avail. Off balance and out of control, but with a death grip on the brake, I crashed into the arete balls first with one leg on each side. Held the fall, though. 8^)
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epoch
Moderator
Apr 17, 2006, 1:33 PM
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^^Awesome
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j_ung
Apr 17, 2006, 1:51 PM
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Dude, you are such an easy audience. :P
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matt17
Apr 17, 2006, 2:06 PM
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my friend almost mad me take a ground fall while he wasnt paying attention because he was looking at a camel toe
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corpse
Apr 17, 2006, 2:16 PM
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I had a rough one once...
I was belaying a leader on a nice 7 at my local crag - he's taking his time placing gear on a little bit of a tricky route.. Esepecially tricky only because of the 20+ wasps gracefully flying around - and wanted to keep them in a good mood :)
Well, half way through the route, a huge ass prairie dog decided he had a bone to pick with me.. Either I was guarding the food he wanted from my pack (in a tree), or he was mad I was nearby - and he kept trying to get at me, sometimes being as close as 5ft before running.. It took many thrown rocks to keep him away. All the while trying to give a leader (who was already a bit sketched from all the bees, a decent belay.
I just imagined the worst case scenario - I get bit in the ankle from some damn furry ankle biter whilst my partner falls from a dozen wasp stings, then he crashes on my head and we both die.
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epoch
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Apr 17, 2006, 2:17 PM
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I am proud that I am 190lbs, the fact that I can hold most falls without so much as coming off of the ground is great. However there are some occasions that I get the opportunity to belay a climber of size. One in particular was while out top roping, he was about 2/3 the way up and just couldn't hold on anymore. Well, being that gravity was definitely working that day, I took off on a course careening straight up towards my climber. We met about 15 feet off the ground. My head all up his sweaty, nasty ass. Literally. :shock: I felt like such a whore, for not giving him some satisfaction in our quaint meeting.
I'm glad that I had a skid lid on... The force of our meeting slowed him significantly down so that he landed with the softness and grace of a ballerina. I would have been anchored however the ground in the area was treeless, featureless, and had no rocks or boulders to tie myself onto.
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j_ung
Apr 17, 2006, 2:24 PM
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Did you get tea bagged? :lol:
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carabiner96
Apr 17, 2006, 3:32 PM
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In reply to: Well, being that gravity was definitely working that day, I took off on a course careening straight up towards my climber. We met about 15 feet off the ground.
Um yeah, being 105 pounds, thats exactly why i always try to find a tree to tie myself to!
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mrpants
Apr 17, 2006, 3:57 PM
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Climbing at Devils Lake, WI with my brother a couple years ago...I was about halfway up a route when a rather large, hungry rodent began lumbering toward our pack.
A little background before continuing...
About 30 min before, this same critter had made his way into one of our bags when our backs were turned and trundled off a bag of almonds. We turned just in time to see him disappear. Not only that, but that morning, we awoke to find our cache of tasty Wisconsin sausages plundered by nocturnal beasts. Said beasts were kind enough to empty our cooler and leave all the packing materials behind for us to dispose of.
Needless to say, my brother was not about to allow yet another act of pillaging by yet another overstuffed rodent. From up on the route, I suddenly heard my brother shouting obscenities at the top of his lungs. I looked down to see the totally unfazed gopher rummaging in our pack again. At this point my brother decides to start throwing every thing he can...with both hands... Honestly, I'm not sure if I was more upset at the rodent, my brother for dropping the rope, or my brother for wildly throwing two Nalgenes and missing....by a lot. So much, in fact, that the Nalgenes went flipping through the talus and down the slope.
In the end, an only slightly-peeved rodent marched off with the rest of our trail mix. My brother picked the rope back up as though nothing had happened and kept shouting and waving his fist at the thing while he put me back on belay.
Rodents 3, Us 0.
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corpse
Apr 17, 2006, 5:31 PM
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mrpants, I was at Devils Lake too with my story above - right at hte base of the Watermarks area/climbs.. Definitely a sneaky guy.. Although, he didn't get anything or destroy anything, so for my score is:
Big Rodent - 0, Corpse - 1 :)
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csproul
Apr 17, 2006, 5:46 PM
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In reply to: I really don't mind being the belay b----, but this was just too much. I was belaying this guy on a trip i was on, and he was about ten feet up when he let a huge one rip. Usually this wouldn't be a big deal, but there was no wind that day and this guy is infamous for his rank-ass rips. like, INFAMOUS. All he said was "whoops" and pick his ass, followed by a nut scratch when he topped out. "Hey", he said once he came down, "My balls could use a little rub down. Eh?"
Maybe that was his idea of flirting?
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carabiner96
Apr 17, 2006, 5:53 PM
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In reply to: Maybe that was his idea of flirting?
oh god, i hope not. you should see this guy..... :shock:
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jumpingrock
Apr 17, 2006, 8:26 PM
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It actually happened this bloody weekend. Grant (darkside), his roommate and I were on a two pitch 5.8. The roommate had lead the first pitch and Grant was to lead the second (I was being a wuss this weekend). The belay ledge had enough space for two climbers, so I hung out on another small ledge about 5 feet below the main belay ledge. While setting up for the second pitch the two fuckers started farting up a god dam storm 3 feet above my head. The wind was blowing pretty good so it wasn't stinky but it was disturbing as hell to hear the symphony of farts so close to my poor head.
Bastards, I hate them both. ;-)
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unreleasedenergy
Apr 17, 2006, 9:50 PM
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I was belaying a leader at the new. the leader was slotting a nut in a deep vertical to arching finger crack. A rat walks by my feet, I looked away from the leader for a second to look at the rat, then I hear "Nuts!!..I mean ROCK!!" from above. I look up just in time to see a number four nut in mid flight. I managed to resist the temptation to throw both hands in front of my face, as the trajectory looks like its going to hit me in the eye. It ended up falling a few feet from me but it still got my heart rate up a bit.
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highcamp
Apr 17, 2006, 10:48 PM
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Man, are those the “worst” belaying moments you folks have had? (Wow, I just set myself up with that comment, didn’t I?) Anyway, here goes:
It was the second and final day on the South Face of Washington Column and we were gunning for the top. It had rained earlier in the week so the rim was still dripping in spots, and when the breeze blew just right those drips would fan out and shower the first couple pitches above the Kor Roof - which was actually quite welcome since the temps that weekend were in the 90’s. But we’d passed those pitches and were now higher on the wall where, sadly, no waterfalls blew our way. We roasted. My partner was on lead – somewhere up and around a corner – and so I sat Gri-Gri in hand bored silly. Until a breeze brought the waterfalls again. Letting the water douse my scorched face, I looked toward the sky searching for the waterfall’s origin. (you already know where this is going, don’t you?). Still staring upward, looking for the drip off the rim, something struck me as different about these droplets. Why in their downward plummet did they look kinda…. Green? Yes, green. Since I was well coated by this time, I gave my lips a good lick and “MUTHERF%CKER!!!”
Never having tasted piss before, you’d think you wouldn’t know what it tastes like…. What I mean is, you’d think that because it is new to you, you wouldn’t taste it that first time and go, “oh, that’s piss”….. guess what though, it tastes just like you’d think.
“STEVE!?!?!”
[eerie]
“STEVE!!!!!?”
“yeah?”
“DID YOU JUST TAKE A PISS???”
[silence]
“PISS!!!…. DID… YOU…. JUST… PISS????”
[dead]
“HEY!!!”
[slowly] “ummm, yeah?”
And so goes the worst belay moment. Getting pissed on, staring like a duck up into the rain, and then licking my lips to see what the hell just showered me. Then the big decision came: do I use some of the remaining water in my nalgene to rinse off my face, or leave the water for drinking on higher pitches?
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dutyje
Apr 17, 2006, 10:54 PM
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In reply to: well, i was kinda hoping this would encourage other people to share their worst belaying moments, but i guess the point was missed? oh well.
I got the point.. Unfortunately, my dry sense of humor is often mistaken for being genuine. I was just sarcastically trying to imply that I didn't understand what was so bad or unusual about letting one rip, picking your ass, and scratching your nuts in the middle of a climb.
In actuality, I do find that very unusual. I typically wait to do that stuff when we're both hanging together at the next belay :lol:
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shanz
Apr 17, 2006, 11:17 PM
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Heh i remember i was out climbing at some chosspile in indiana and im leading this sport route (if you could call it this) and i go to clip a bolt and i thougt it was way too easy to get the slack i needed since it was a bit of a reach and i see my belayer packing a bowl. No hands on the rope just sitting there firing up a good one. Im like WTF are you doing and completely innocently without even batting an eye he yells back "hey man im smoking here" needless to say i havent climbed with him since
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carabiner96
Apr 18, 2006, 1:15 AM
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[quote="dutyje"
In actuality, I do find that very unusual. I typically wait to do that stuff when we're both hanging together at the next belay :lol:
OOOOOH baby, i can't wait to climb with you!
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kachoong
Apr 18, 2006, 1:36 AM
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Climbing while hearing a HUGE.... make that HUGE.... swarm of bees gathering momentum and humming a tune.... a bit like the sound you hear when you place your ear next to fifty Formula 1 cars revving up to begin the Monte Carlo.... then realizing both me and my girl are both tied to the mountain with no real place to 'run'.... climbing on.... belaying on, trying to ignore the fact that 568,493 bees are creating a swirling tornado of deafening proportions only 30 feet away.... "...ey.... at.... noi..... eez.....?" I faintly heard pieces of what my sweetheart was calling up to me at the peak of the beestorm.... she was the poor thing that had to belay, with no where to go.... All I could do was get to the next ledge and bring her up as quickly as possible.... thinking to myself, thinking back to the rescue chapter of "Freedom of the Hills".... what are the steps for self-rescue when attacked by killer bees?.... soon enough though, they'd headed for better pastures and quite possibly more climbers to freak out.
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