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KANSASCLIMBER taking Colorado by STORM!!!!!!!
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dingus


May 2, 2006, 5:15 PM
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CRUSH!

KILL!

DESTROY!

Sadly, I can name the TV show this quote comes from.

DMT


wjca


May 2, 2006, 6:06 PM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
CRUSH!

KILL!

DESTROY!

Sadly, I can name the TV show this quote comes from.

DMT


Wasn't that the Lost in Space episode where the robot went nuts and tried to kill Will Robinson?


leinosaur


May 2, 2006, 6:13 PM
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Re: KANSASCLIMBER taking Colorado by STORM!!!!!!! [In reply to]
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Go KSClimber, Go KSClimber!

Allez!

The lack of humor of some on this site, is frightening.

I, for one, think climbing in the 11's is pretty kick-axe for a danged ol' Kansan. I mean, even our killer granite here in OK is a long drive, for those guys.

So, look out! Home slice gon' show y'all how it's done.


wannabe


May 2, 2006, 7:06 PM
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Re: KANSASCLIMBER taking Colorado by STORM!!!!!!! [In reply to]
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Storm eh? More like tsunami of bullshi*t. 8^)

PS. Your reverse psychology is lame.


discolegsyndrome


May 2, 2006, 8:03 PM
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Re: KANSASCLIMBER taking Colorado by STORM!!!!!!! [In reply to]
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I love this thread!


leinosaur


May 2, 2006, 8:32 PM
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Storm eh? More like tsunami of bullshi*t. 8^)

PS. Your reverse psychology is lame.

Unlike the reverse psychology of the username, "wannabe."
THAT is uber-fit reverse psychology, of course. Yes.

What's important here is that we feel free to release our unresolved inner conflicts, by lashing out at a parodic enthusiast. I expect he was expecting us to expect just that, and then some!


cosmiccragsman


May 2, 2006, 10:54 PM
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The STORM hasn't affected us here yet in California. If the STORM does reach Calif. in the future, I'll just have to resole my hip-waders in 5.10
rubber, so I can still climb if he is around!:lol: :twisted:

Cosmiccragsman


boombewm


May 2, 2006, 11:26 PM
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Re: KANSASCLIMBER taking Colorado by STORM!!!!!!! [In reply to]
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HEY, only stephen is good enough to climb with stephen. He offered yall belaying/spotting/spectating posistions, you should be honored...if you're lucky, maybe you'll get to sit next to Sharma or Graham during the sendblitz. Colorado, watch out!


tradmanclimbs


May 3, 2006, 1:16 AM
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I would love to watch him pee his britches if you get him on someting taller than 30meters :D must be someone from eldo or lumpy/Black caynon etc. who can hook him up with a sweet 5.9+ that will send him crying home to mamma :lol: :lol: :lol:


Partner macherry


May 3, 2006, 1:29 AM
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PM me.

I'll redefine what you think hard is. If you've got half the motivation that you've got s----talk, I'll have use for you.


this reminds me of the time fshizzle almost slept with his sister.


Partner angry


May 3, 2006, 3:45 AM
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Kansas, I'm not kidding.

I want to climb some really hard stuff and I'm always looking for partners who won't cry at the prospect of pushing their limits.

Yes, I'll climb with you. Yes it will be hard. Yes, I mean 5.12 and harder. No, there aren't any bolts to clip.


kansasclimber


May 3, 2006, 3:45 AM
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hmmm what a response. I guess that you guys dont know my potential. And i guess there is no talk that can prove it obviously. So im coming out on the 14th, and I will wreck everything i get on, through sheer freakin motivation, i will succeed. l'll post and update this post, make sure to put this on your favorites, becasue im sure ALL of you will be checking it for my latest sends. For all of you that have made fun of me.... judge all you want, we all know who the judge is in the end...... ME!

Stephen


miavzero


May 3, 2006, 4:03 AM
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...So im coming out on the 14th... For all of you that have made fun of me.... judge all you want...

Don't worry Stephen, you were born that way, and we applaud you for your courage.


Partner angry


May 3, 2006, 5:03 AM
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hmmm what a response. I guess that you guys dont know my potential. And i guess there is no talk that can prove it obviously. So im coming out on the 14th, and I will wreck everything i get on, through sheer freakin motivation, i will succeed. l'll post and update this post, make sure to put this on your favorites, becasue im sure ALL of you will be checking it for my latest sends. For all of you that have made fun of me.... judge all you want, we all know who the judge is in the end...... ME!

Stephen

Failure to respond to me indicates fear.

You can even have a few FA's, they are there, waiting for someone strong like you to send them.


curt


May 3, 2006, 5:21 AM
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hmmm what a response. I guess that you guys dont know my potential. And i guess there is no talk that can prove it obviously. So im coming out on the 14th, and I will wreck everything i get on, through sheer freakin motivation, i will succeed. l'll post and update this post, make sure to put this on your favorites, becasue im sure ALL of you will be checking it for my latest sends. For all of you that have made fun of me.... judge all you want, we all know who the judge is in the end...... ME!

Stephen

Be sure to look up "bobd1953" when you're in Colorado. I'm pretty sure he's still looking for someone young and stupid to accompany him on a FA of a new free route in the Black Canyon of the Gunnison. Got sack?

Curt


flamer


May 3, 2006, 5:24 AM
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Be sure to look up "bobd1953" when you're in Colorado. I'm pretty sure he's still looking for someone young and stupid to accompany him on a FA of a new free route in the Black Canyon of the Gunnison. Got sack?

Hmmm...going to have to give bob a call on that one..

josh


mistymountainhop


May 3, 2006, 11:48 PM
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I'd watch out Stephen, word is that Chuck Norris himself is going to be touring and tearing up Rado. Be careful, he leaves no prisoners and can redpoint at least 2 grades higher than sharma or caldwell.


kansasclimber


May 4, 2006, 4:45 AM
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Welp as to you angry, ill pm u once i get out there, i really will, im ALWAYS looking for a challenge. And to be honest, i might not onsight these hard grades but i will get up them in due time, maybe a day or 2. Nad sas to curt and robd.... sounds awesome, i climb better without much pro.... that just makes you not fall! the only pro i need are my 10 fingers. If your good, you dont need pro, and NO one can argue that!!

Stephen


sidepull


May 5, 2006, 7:09 PM
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Nad sas to curt and robd.... sounds awesome, i climb better without much pro.... that just makes you not fall! the only pro i need are my 10 fingers. If your good, you dont need pro, and NO one can argue that!!

The level of maturity demonstrated by kansas reminds me of another ignominious member of rc:

http://www.rockclimbing.com/...hp?p=1053863#1053863

I hope it's sheer randomness that both of these idiots have screen names from the heartland.


tradrak


May 5, 2006, 8:03 PM
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There's nothing in Boulder that's hard enough for you, and there are probably no climbers here that are good enough to keep up with you. Also, there are no hot girls and the beer sucks, so you'd be better off going someplace else.

Seriously dude, have you got the ghey?


miavzero


May 5, 2006, 8:41 PM
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There's nothing in Boulder that's hard enough for you, and there are probably no climbers here that are good enough to keep up with you. Also, there are no hot girls and the beer sucks, so you'd be better off going someplace else.

Seriously dude, have you got the ghey?

kansasclimber is so badass, I heard he can out climb Chuck Norris.
In fact...

Kansasclimber's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Kansasclimber has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Kansasclimber can kill him and take it.

Kansasclimber once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Kansasclimber doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Kansasclimber what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Kansasclimber only masturbates to pictures of Kansasclimber.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Kansasclimber instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Kansasclimber appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Kansasclimber lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Kansasclimber was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Kansasclimber sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, he roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Kansasclimber does not sleep. He waits.

Kansasclimber built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, he met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Kansasclimber is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Kansasclimber Kansasclimber was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have him omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Kansasclimber smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Kansasclimber.

Kansasclimber does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Kansasclimber once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. He roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Kansasclimber--more than meets the eye, Kansasclimber--robot in disguise," and starred Kansasclimber as a gym rat who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

The chief export of Kansasclimber is pain.

Kansasclimber is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Kansasclimber plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

It was once believed that Kansasclimber actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Kansasclimber himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Kansasclimber recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Kansasclimber.

If you can see Kansasclimber, he can see you. If you can't see Kansasclimber, you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Kansasclimber took over.

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Kansasclimber plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Kansasclimber.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Kansasclimber, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Kansasclimber.

God offered Kansasclimber the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

When Kansasclimber was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Kansasclimber drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A duck's quack does not echo. Kansasclimber is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Kansasclimber once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When kansas lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.

Kansasclimber' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

Kansasclimber doesn't believe in Germany.

If you want a list of Kansasclimber' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Kansasclimber has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

When Kansasclimber' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, he said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Kansasclimber."

Kansasclimber once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Kansasclimber doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Kansasclimber.

Ironically, Kansasclimber' hidden talent is invisibility.

Kansasclimber eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Kansasclimber owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

Kansasclimber invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Kansasclimber is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

Kansasclimber invented water.

Kansasclimber went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Kansasclimber yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Kansasclimber accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Contrary to popular belief, Kansasclimber, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Kansasclimber is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Kansasclimber does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Kansasclimber roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.


tarzan420


May 5, 2006, 8:48 PM
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miavzero, you need a little more practice with search-and-replace...


miavzero


May 5, 2006, 8:56 PM
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no, I just need more buisy work


cowpoke


May 5, 2006, 9:14 PM
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I'll certainly be checking for updates. Remember, however, that blowing into CO from the low plains and sending all the undone projects could be reciprocated by a COClimber taking Kansas by STORM...or, maybe not. Doesn't seem to be much interest in sending undone Kansas projects these days. Must be cause you already grabbed all the goodies, right?


tharlow


May 5, 2006, 9:49 PM
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Wow,
that has to be the longest post I have seen, one of the funiest also, no matter how many times I've seen it.
Nice work.

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