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coolklimber
Jun 7, 2006, 3:43 AM
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I've been climbing with my cousin (a girl) for about 5 months now, we’ve done lead training, and almost everything climbing related together. When I took her to the local crags, (her first time with me), she was really pushy about setting anchors and she was being really competitive with everything we were doing, including anchor setup. Climbing is not something that I like to think of as competitive, I like to move at my own pace and do climbs to my personal best.
I was taught how to set anchors by an expert climbing friend at the local gym.
When I first asked my friend about setting anchors he gave me a 20 min overview, nothing in detail, about setting basic top-rope anchors, my cousin was present for that. Since then I’ve gone to the gym and had a few more hours of anchor setup training. I have been out a few times after that setting and climbing on my constructed anchors with no problems.
At the crags me and my cousin did about 5 routes; I set the anchors for all of them.
My cousin lives out of town and she only comes to the gym once every 2 weeks or so. She was unaware that I had gotten more teaching about anchors. I told her I had but she only says that I got the 20 minutes that she was there for.
So at the crags I would set up a simple TR anchor and then she would insist upon inspecting it. You might think she was just checking to make sure it was safe but to be honest she has little knowledge on the subject.
We shared the cost of getting a rope, now she insists that she wants to get her own so she can go to the crags with her family. I am worried because none of her family knows anything about anchors or climbing. She says she will be able to set up the anchors. I am worried because before I went home she was trying to get me to quickly show her how to set a top-rope anchor. She doesn’t know how to check bolts either.
She asked if I wanted to buy her half of our rope so she could get her own. She said she wanted to be able to go to the crags when I wasn’t around. I ended up buying the rope, probably so she wouldn’t end up hurting herself. I told her the next time we went to the crags I would show her how to set up anchors.
What should I do? I have another climbing buddy (a guy) that I go climbing at the gym with and he is an experienced climber but he lives away from me as well. Should I go climbing with him from now on or give my cousin another chance? I don’t like how she is making climbing with her competitive.
* In this post I was not trying to be sexist, I am concerned about my cousin, neither am I saying that she is a poor climber.
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grk10vq
Jun 7, 2006, 3:49 AM
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you give canada a bad name.
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guangzhou
Jun 7, 2006, 3:52 AM
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Sounds like you now have two partners. Climb with who ever is availaible when yu want to climb.
I always check ang=chors before I climb on them. I have bneen climbing 18 years now and some of my partners, have been climbing longer. I still check their anchors.
In all honesty, sounds like you are competive and she is curious and ready to climb.
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coolklimber
Jun 7, 2006, 3:55 AM
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I am concerned about her ability to set anchors. How is that being competitive?
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iamdooser
Jun 7, 2006, 4:02 AM
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I agree that climbing isn't a competitive sport. Even more so, safety is not competitive.
I don't think it matters how long anyone has been climbing, everyone should check everyone's anchors (Granted all have had training).
In your case, what I'd do is climb with who's available at the time. I'd actually be eager to go climbing with the cousin so that I might teach her some more safety options.
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guangzhou
Jun 7, 2006, 4:03 AM
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It's not rocket science.
If you are so concirned about her anchors, why are you complaining about her checking yours. Wouldn't she be learnig something evrytime she looks at yours.
You are competive because you are worried about her becoming better than you.
You worried about losing a partner?
Move on, deal with it.
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ahwoo
Jun 7, 2006, 5:17 AM
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i don't see how she's being competitive. even though she may have little experience setting anchors, her inspection of your anchors may do nothing more than giving her some peace of mind. you sound skeptical of her anchor building abilities, and maybe she is the same with you.
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ahwoo
Jun 7, 2006, 5:20 AM
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i don't see how she's being competitive. even though she may have little experience setting anchors, her inspection of your anchors may do nothing more than giving her some peace of mind. you sound skeptical of her anchor building abilities, and maybe she is the same with you.
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zenelky
Jun 7, 2006, 8:23 PM
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There are probably several factors leading to the cause of her competitiveness. I've seen this in many many many other female climbers who have this ingrained sense that they have to show people they are as good or better...ESPECIALLY in a male dominated sport like this (been there, done that, had to deal with it). This can be good and bad b/c it can push both of you to your limits, but can be bad b/c it's easy to loose sight of your limits.
Do yourself a favor, follow your instincts. If you don't like climbing with her, don't. It doesn't matter who you're with while you're climbing; be it a cousin, son, mother, best friend, or significant other; in the end you have to trust whoever is between you and the ground.
I would be honest with her and tell her your concerns. If she gets mad and never wants to climb with you again, what do you have to loose? She may be able to explain herself in an adequate manner that you can understand. Good luck!
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dingus
Jun 7, 2006, 8:59 PM
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Anyone asserting climbing isn't a competitive sport knows nothing of its history. Climbing has always had its competitive element from the very first climbs of Mt Blanc.
If climbing weren't competitive no one would give a rats ass who climbed 5.14 what.
Now many climbers internalize the competitive spirit... make it personal, them against themselves or the mountain or the route. Most really good climbers are fierce competitors, but most are also free enough spirits to define their own game rather than consulting a rule book.
This woman seems to have the climbing bug. If you want to encourage your cousin in a meaningful way, buy here a comprehensive how-to bible. Sounds like she has the gumption to take it from there.
She sounds pretty cool the way you describe her though. I like the fact she is eager to take charge of her destiny and isn't going to sit on her ass waiting for someone to hand her something she is perfectly entitled to gain on her own.
The question you may be wanting to ask in a year or 2 is... will she take YOU climbing?
DMT
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pro_alien
Jun 7, 2006, 9:16 PM
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You certainly shouldn't be offended if she wants to look at your anchors. Trust, but verify...
Instead of letting her loose on other climbers, how about taking the time to let her set anchors, and review / discuss them together ? Showing her will reinforce your own anchor skills at the same time.
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coolklimber
Jun 7, 2006, 9:23 PM
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Thanks to all who contributed some useful information. I am going to show her how to set anchors and all that good stuff.
I do not take climbing competitively so I don't like climbing with people that do. I was unaware of how competitive she was untill now.
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guangzhou
Jun 8, 2006, 1:08 AM
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Not copmpetive, but you are better than her right??
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dirtineye
Jun 8, 2006, 1:33 AM
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Some of you have had nothing to do with a PITA young womsn who will not listen lately.
But one has.
I've seen this same thing. I bet she is impatient to learn the anchors but does not pay close attention and want's to rush on to the next step.
I bet she seems impulsive., with a short attention span.
This is difficult to deal with.
If you can find a competent female clibmer to instruct her, that might be a good thing, cause some girls just do NOT want to hear anything from a guy, period.
Having the climbing bug is great, but setting anchors with out knowing what you are doing is bad.
The book idea is a good one.
maybe more than one woudl be good.
Also, a nice look thorugh ANAM might help.
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