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foodlovur
Dec 14, 2006, 10:02 PM
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Okay, so, I've decided I want to go up the nose this spring. It will be my first big wall. And maybe I'll want to celebrate the momentous occasion, mid-route, with some hot buttered rum followed by a little nookie. Can it be done? I know I'll be exhausted and filthy and smelly. And I imagine that, at the end of the day, it will be the last thing on my mind (probably it'll be more like, 'I think we need some time apart; I'll take the portaledge tonight, dear').
BUT, I still want to know - can it be safely done? And, if so, what do I need to know?
{Mostly directed to the gentlemen} I'm not asking whether you think I should or not. I'm not asking for the private details of your (un)successful attempt. I'm not asking you to be my climbing partner. I don't need beta on how the birds and the bees operate; I'm just looking for the technical details and/or words of caution (and I know about STDs and the chance of pregnancy).
Thanks
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capcom1701
Dec 14, 2006, 10:32 PM
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Ahem, make sure your anchors are completely bomber...
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macherry
Dec 14, 2006, 11:35 PM
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foodlovur wrote: {Mostly directed to the gentlemen} I'm not asking whether you think I should or not. I'm not asking for the private details of your (un)successful attempt. I'm not asking you to be my climbing partner. I don't need beta on how the birds and the bees operate; I'm just looking for the technical details and/or words of caution (and I know about STDs and the chance of pregnancy). Thanks
then, why are you asking this in the ladies' room?!?!?!?
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foodlovur
Dec 14, 2006, 11:38 PM
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You know men read this, even though it's The Ladies' Room. It's only my request for mature responses that's directed to the gentlemen, not the question itself.
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wjca
Dec 14, 2006, 11:53 PM
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foodlovur wrote: I'm just looking for the technical details and/or words of caution. Thanks
So when you say technical details, do probably don't mean something along the line of: the two of you would need to get naked, lay in a pile and wiggle, right? Beyond, that, I'd just be guessing.
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foodlovur
Dec 15, 2006, 5:14 AM
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This post contains nudity or adult content. To protect the innocent we require that you register and turn off your Adult Content Filter to read it.
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pro_alien
Dec 15, 2006, 7:27 AM
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Please refer to the excellent book "Close Calls" by John Long...
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chadnsc
Dec 15, 2006, 4:10 PM
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Uh, not to be rude but I assume that since this will be your first big wall your boyfriend is an experienced big wall climber. If so then he should be able to figure this out, if he can't than he's not very experienced, in either area.
Now if you're planning on surprising him then have him adjust his harness, or untie. He goes on the bottom. You go on top and keep your harness on. Commence nookie in the gentlest way possible. Be careful not to shock load your anchor.
Keep in mind that despite all the rigging and safety lines you still may die. I'd recommend nookie once you top out, less physical danger but more kinky since you may get caught.
Have fun. I have a feeling this will be an interesting trip report. 
(This post was edited by chadnsc on Dec 15, 2006, 4:11 PM)
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redpointron
Dec 15, 2006, 6:08 PM
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chalkfree
Dec 16, 2006, 4:34 AM
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Try it once in bed with harnesses on...
To quote Jurassic Park, "Nature will find a way."
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stymingersfink
Dec 16, 2006, 10:22 AM
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don't forget your pro!
personally, if I were going for a sesh on a portaledge, I wouldn't wait till half-way up the nose after 3 days of hot sweaty work and not a shower in sight. Yuck!
how about a moonlit night at the top of your favorite trad or aid line (insert crass joke about a splitter crack here). I would suggest the climb is begun in the late afternoon, such that the anchor is reached and ledge is hauled as darkness settles in, followed by a nice dinner preparation by the light of a couple of candle-lanterns, a little wine, an iPod for mood-music...
and when you decide you really don't want to spend the entire night there you can slide down the ropes and hit the car. Pick the gear up tomorrow morning.
(This post was edited by stymingersfink on Dec 31, 2006, 9:44 AM)
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foodlovur
Dec 16, 2006, 3:37 PM
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chadnsc wrote: Now if you're planning on surprising him then have him adjust his harness, or untie. He goes on the bottom. You go on top and keep your harness on. Commence nookie in the gentlest way possible. Be careful not to shock load your anchor. Keep in mind that despite all the rigging and safety lines you still may die. I'd recommend nookie once you top out, less physical danger but more kinky since you may get caught. Have fun. I have a feeling this will be an interesting trip report.
Hey, thanks for the beta. Much appreciated.
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foodlovur
Dec 16, 2006, 3:40 PM
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redpointron wrote: maybe you could set your portaledge up at the climbing gym and work all the bugs out just a few feet off the ground
chalkfree wrote: Try it once in bed with harnesses on...
You all are bloody brilliant! Thanks!
(This post was edited by foodlovur on Dec 16, 2006, 3:40 PM)
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colotopian
Dec 16, 2006, 8:32 PM
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foodlovur wrote: colotopian wrote: breath mint & untie  Ok, that's more inline with my questions... you don't really untie, right? I don't want to die. But can you tie-in some other way? The harness is definitely a problem. On the female side, you could work around the harness by changing position. Not so much for the male. The man's harness/tie-in knot is definitely the major obstacle. Surely, somebody out there has figured out how to get around this. If only you could turn the harness around.
no. i mean untie. take your harness off. get naked. have fun. if your anchor blows you're fucked. if your anchor stays you will be fucked. either way. you're fucked. you are setting yourself up to get fucked. its a cosmic thing. don't try to use the left side of your brain for this. it wont help. actually it will just get you two into trouble i predict. have sex, make love then tie back in and look at the stars
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clausti
Dec 16, 2006, 9:27 PM
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ok, what i have heard is that you tie a line around your ankle, and get naked.
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clausti
Dec 17, 2006, 5:12 AM
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stymingersfink wrote: clausti wrote: ok, what i have heard is that you tie a line around your ankle, and get naked. don't even need to leave the ground to try that one out! 
LOL
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squierbypetzl
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Dec 18, 2006, 8:30 AM
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colotopian wrote: if your anchor blows you're fucked. if your anchor stays you will be fucked. either way. you're fucked.
Well done (stands and tips hat).
Try doggie style, seriously it´s great.
What was this thread about? Oh yeah...
Once again, doggy style. Wiggle your pants down a little, keeping harness on. He unzips pants, keeps his harness on, pulls knot upwards and out of the way (either hold it or rest it on your back).
Or you could grab the rope just above his harness and hitch it to a carabiner, which you then clip off to the side on a gear loop. No need to untie, if he falls he´ll blow a gear loop but stay tied in, and it works if you wanna keep him in the dark until the last possible minute.
You´re very welcome.
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krusher4
Dec 19, 2006, 6:23 PM
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Never un-tie, anchor in with supertape around your ankles.
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wanderlustmd
Dec 20, 2006, 6:10 PM
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squierbypetzl wrote: colotopian wrote: if your anchor blows you're fucked. if your anchor stays you will be fucked. either way. you're fucked. Well done (stands and tips hat). Try doggie style, seriously it´s great. What was this thread about? Oh yeah... Once again, doggy style. Wiggle your pants down a little, keeping harness on. He unzips pants, keeps his harness on, pulls knot upwards and out of the way (either hold it or rest it on your back). Or you could grab the rope just above his harness and hitch it to a carabiner, which you then clip off to the side on a gear loop. No need to untie, if he falls he´ll blow a gear loop but stay tied in, and it works if you wanna keep him in the dark until the last possible minute. You´re very welcome.
Yeah, just lift the knot out of the way and your home free.
The topic title is a great name for a route, you should hold off on the nookie until you and your sig. other do an FA sometime
"Love on a Portaledge VI 5.10XXX A3"
Now that's something to be proud of
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philbox
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Dec 21, 2006, 2:46 AM
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Remember to never get jiggy if you have another portaledge stacked underneath yours.
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heximp
Dec 21, 2006, 5:40 AM
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With so many natural ledges in Yosemite that offer so much more room and privacy... Why the Portal Ledge?
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