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Had you been in the same situation?
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arebecavg


May 14, 2007, 2:21 AM
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Had you been in the same situation?
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Hello girls
I had been climbing with a guy for one month; we did a lot of plans to climb in the USA and in Canada. We kissed us several times, but I didn’t want to have something else with him, the only think that I wanted was climbed. Suddenly he stopped calling me, and I feel very sorry because I lost a climbing partner. Frown


overlord


May 14, 2007, 6:38 AM
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Re: [arebecavg] Had you been in the same situation? [In reply to]
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dont worry about it, he was a douchebag for not telling you he wanted 'something more' straight away (or at least pretty soon). youll find another.


climbingbetty22


May 14, 2007, 4:23 PM
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Re: [overlord] Had you been in the same situation? [In reply to]
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This happens alot. I know it's harsh, but my advice? Get use to it. Even if you didn't kiss him, if he was interested in dating you and you didn't return the sentiment, he still probably would have bailed on you.

The good news though, is that I'm pretty sure you two are not the only climbers in the world, and actually, as a female, I'm pretty sure you have excellent prospects for soon finding yourself another climbing partner.


(This post was edited by climbingbetty22 on May 14, 2007, 4:27 PM)


clplovesrocks


May 15, 2007, 3:08 AM
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Yikes!! This happens all the time to me as well. The other thing is some men prefer to climb with other men because they fear small women dropping them and/or bond on a different level with men. I am always climbing with new partnersSmile It gets easier after awhile.


Partner happiegrrrl


May 15, 2007, 12:31 PM
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Welll....Not to pry, but I'm wondering why you kissed the guy if you didn't want more than a climbing relationship?

I have climbed with probably more than a hundred guys over the last few years and though I don't doubt at least a few of them had gone out hoping there might be some attraction, when there wasn't, there was still climbing - our original intention - and the day was good. None of these people avoid returning a call or seeing/acknowledging me out there.

I know I am me, and have a sort of personality that fosters platonic friendships, but.....I wouldn't kiss a guy if I wanted a platonic friendship.

I'll tell you this - If I DID kiss a guy and he then later told me he wanted only to climb, I can imagine it would be uncomfortable. Though I wouldn't ignore his calls or emails, not everyone desires to be crystal clear in their communications as I do. Some people do believe that the unreturned message is a message in it's own right.

If you thought you *might* have wanted more, and thus kissed him, but later decided you preferred a platonic friendship, that's totally cool. But it's not unreasonable to expect the other person might be hurt, angry or otherwise uncomfortable. If you are a person of merit, probably time will heal the pain, and you may get your friendship back.

Your profile says you lead 5.9 on gear, so unless this guy thinks 5.9 is practically 3rd class or has a bevy of other people to climb with, you're climbing partnership probably is of some value. Unless, of course.....well, drama is drama. I know some people who climb hard but I don't care for their personality, and thus consider the end to be a blessing....

As in all things climbing-related.....it depends.


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