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bakedjake
Mar 7, 2003, 8:13 PM
Post #1 of 9
(233 views)
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Registered: Jan 24, 2003
Posts: 3755
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Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.
Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
You think subdivision is part of a math problem.
You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.
You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.
Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'.
You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You think genitalia is an Italian airline.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. :shock:
You keep empty beer cans in your fridge for your friends that don't drink.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.
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howitzer
Mar 7, 2003, 8:29 PM
Post #2 of 9
(233 views)
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Registered: Mar 5, 2002
Posts: 2511
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If you mow your lawn and find a car, you might be a redneck.
If you have ever heard your wife say "honey can you move this transmission so I can take a bath?" you might be a redneck
If moving means you attach your home to the truck and roll it down the street, you might be a redneck.
if the phone number for a pizza delivery company is written on the wall above your phone, you might be a redneck
if you've broken the speed limit in reverse, you might be a redneck.
if you've ever sent fanmail to a monster truck, you might be a redneck.
If Your favorite restaurant has a sawdust floor, you might be a redneck.
Here's your sign... ;)
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taino
Mar 7, 2003, 9:53 PM
Post #3 of 9
(233 views)
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Registered: Jan 2, 2003
Posts: 5371
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...your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs...
...you go to family reunions to pick up women...
...you think of sixth grade as your crowning moment in school...
Here's your sign...
Tai :wink:
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shank
Mar 7, 2003, 11:29 PM
Post #4 of 9
(233 views)
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Registered: May 14, 2002
Posts: 541
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HEY NOW......I resemble those remarks :shock:
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esimhs99
Mar 8, 2003, 3:21 PM
Post #6 of 9
(233 views)
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Registered: Nov 10, 2002
Posts: 202
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hahaha i must admit that i have the jeff foxworthy 'you might be a redneck if...' cd, and i used to listen to it OVER and OVER!!1 :lol: :lol:
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rockbabe
Mar 8, 2003, 6:05 PM
Post #7 of 9
(233 views)
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Registered: Sep 25, 2002
Posts: 71
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If you go to a dance and the deejay yells "hoe down" and your wife hits the floor...you might be a redneck.
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climbracer
Mar 9, 2003, 4:53 PM
Post #8 of 9
(233 views)
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Registered: Apr 18, 2002
Posts: 226
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If you take your sweetheart to the tractor pull for Valentine's Day and you even share your spit cup with her.
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carnaged
Mar 9, 2003, 6:13 PM
Post #9 of 9
(233 views)
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Registered: Jun 20, 2002
Posts: 1652
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you might be a redneck if...
....You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
....You think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company
....Your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.
....Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.
....You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
....You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.
....You think Possum is "The Other White Meat"
....You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.
....You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
....You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
....You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
....You think safe sex is a padded headboard.
....You think subdivision is part of a math problem.
....You think there's nothin wrong with incest, as long as you keep it in the family.
....You use a weedeater in your living room.
....You have a rag for a gas cap.
....You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
....You use a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
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