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timstich
Jan 31, 2004, 2:33 PM
Post #51 of 62
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Dave stood on the small ledge and contemplated the moment. He reached into his coat pocket to remove a picture of his wife. But Dave had never married, so instead he took out a torn page from the Arab porno mags. It was not a glossy photo, for the image had been mimeographed in blue ink. The picture was obviously from a western product, but had certain articles of local dress airbrushed on. Dave laughed at this.
"Aye my love, I'll be home soon."
Up and to the left of Jim's stance Dave climbed until he found a crack that only required minor clearing of ice to insert a nut. Dave looked up the line and spied a tiny figure on the headwall. He assumed that they were alone on the route, but it appeared not to be the case. The figure was climbing strong. From what Dave could make out, he had a tiny red hat on. Dave couldn't see a belayer, so he assumed the man was soloing. Or was it a man? It could be anyone from this distance.
About four hours and six pitches later Dave and Jim reached a large ledge below some steep ice and the sun began to set. The climber ahead of them had already built a snow cave to bivvy in and was sitting there boiling water to prepare dinner. Dave could now see that the soloist was actually a very short man, almost a dwarf even.
"Greetings fellow travellers," said the short man in the red hat.
"Hello there. How's the climbing been?"
"Quite nice. I've not done this wall before and I have to say that it has not been disappointing. You wouldn't be Dave Higgins, would you?"
"Yes, that would be me."
"I've seen your picture before in some Swiss magazine. Gnome World, I think"
"Ah. I don't read that one."
"I imagine that you have never seen it. Very small circulation. Well look, I have some water boiling. Anyone want some hot tea?"
"Why hell yes. Thanks."
And so Dave, Tom, and the gnome from Zurich sat and partook of the hot tea. A bottle of cognac was produced after dinner, and they sat and talked into the small hours of the night.
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fullahsiffur
Feb 7, 2004, 10:00 PM
Post #52 of 62
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Eventually, Tom and Dave passed out from exhaustion on the ledge. The gnome glance over to make sure that they were out, and then he reached in his pack. He pulled out his satellite phone and made a few quick calls. In moments, a helicopter could be heard as tiny figures began to appear out of the ominous sky above the peak. The black-clad gnomes snatched up Dave and zipped back up into the clouds.
When Dave woke up, he looked around and found himself in ...
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fullahsiffur
Feb 13, 2004, 2:32 AM
Post #53 of 62
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This story died. Anyone want to put it out of its misery?
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philbox
Moderator
Feb 13, 2004, 2:39 AM
Post #54 of 62
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Nah, leave it for a bit, it may just have some life yet. Bumping it up like this will give it a few more views and someone may have the energy to add something to it. If nothing happens over the next couple of weeks then I`ll volunteer to chuck an ending onto it.
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fullahsiffur
Feb 13, 2004, 2:41 AM
Post #55 of 62
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Which of course, as we all know, will spawn even more endings, until it ignites the story again... :mrgreen:
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timstich
Feb 13, 2004, 3:26 AM
Post #56 of 62
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Dave bumped the juke box in the roadhouse beer joint.
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philbox
Moderator
Mar 2, 2004, 6:13 AM
Post #58 of 62
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Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to say goodbye to our dearly departed friend Dave. He was a good story while he lasted but sadly the time has come to say ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Cue violins in the background playing a dirge as the coffin is slowly lowered into the ground.
The cast all gather around and one of the gnomes blows his nose and in fact the gnome queen weeps and wails uncontrollably.
See ya Dave, it was nice knowing you.
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climber49er
Mar 2, 2004, 6:17 AM
Post #59 of 62
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I didn't like the original, I don't like this one. I'm glad Dave is gone.
Good Bye forever Dave.
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fullahsiffur
Mar 2, 2004, 6:21 AM
Post #60 of 62
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That's a horrible thing to say! He's dead, he can't defend himself! :P
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timstich
Mar 2, 2004, 6:21 AM
Post #61 of 62
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Dave propped up his head so he could get another sip of Chianti. It had been a full day of visits from friends paying what would no doubt be their last respects. Dave's wife was busy making cucumber sandwiches and deviled eggs in the kitchen. Climbers from all over the country dropped by the little three bedroom house on Higland Street, its peeling paint and horseshoe swinging from the gate the best features.
Many of the visitors shared some old memories of climbs past and bottles emptied. Yopsang Guiland showed up at one point with a bottle of his local alcoholic swill, a strange root chewed by the villiagers and fermented in human spit. The horrible mess was left in the sun then for days and was not filtered in the slightest. After the bottle of ginsing liquor had been painfully consumed, the bleary-eyed room of guests and one dying man looked at the foul swill like a dog contemplates a steak. With howls of laughter, they took huge swigs of the milky white liquid.
Dave was wary of this gift of drink, for he had had many bad experiences with it. But his reed covered bottle was empty, and the rest of the booze was gone. Yopsang tilted the glass to Dave's trembling lips, and he took in the juice. Unfortunately, a piece of dental artifact from one of the more aged villiagers tumbled down Dave's throat. Dave's eyes got big, and the crowd laughed long and loud. But Dave couldn't communicate that he was in trouble. His feeble frame was unable to protest this last insult to his constitution. So, he calmed down and resigned himself to watch the world fade into darkness. It wasn't hard, he thought. Better than having to drink more of this mess.
And so, quietly, Dave went to sleep.
-THE END
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fullahsiffur
Mar 2, 2004, 6:23 AM
Post #62 of 62
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In reply to: I didn't like the original, I don't like this one. I'm glad Dave is gone.
Actually, just for that, Dave may come back and periodically haunt the forums he once roamed so happily! :twisted:
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