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j_ung
Nov 6, 2010, 5:36 PM
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What's more funny than a well told elephant joke? Nothing. I wrote this up for a friend. Since it was copy and pastable, I thought I might as well post it here, too.
Many years ago, young boy went on a safari with his father to deepest, darkest Africa. After a day of driving around the plain, the restless boy decided to do a little unguided exploring while porters set up camp.
Eventually, he wandered into a small copse of trees and happened upon a huge -- and very angry looking -- bull elephant. The boy was terrified and, unfortunately, frozen in place with fear.
Then, he noticed something interesting. The snorting beast was holding one forefoot off the forest floor, and there, stuck in the elephant's foot, the boy saw a thorn. "Oh," he said, "This is just like the story of the mouse and the lion! He just needs help removing the thorn, and then he'll be my friend forever. If I need help, he'll be there for me!" So, the boy carefully approached the elephant. The huge animal seemed pensive, but he let boy near. The boy grasped the thorn in both hands (it was a BIG thorn) and pulled with all his might, until the spike popped free from the elephant's foot. It came free so suddenly, that the boy ended up flat on his ass in the grass.
The elephant was so relieved and so happy, that he wrapped his trunk gently around the boy, lifted him to his feet, and then ruffled his hair a little. Then, he turned and trotted off. Before disappearing, the elephant took one last look at the boy and, to the proud lad, it looked as though the grateful elephant was taking a hard look at him, committing his boy face to elephant memory forever.
The boy skipped back to camp and resumed his safari.
Fast forward to 30 years later. The boy -- now a man -- had a son of his own, who he took one summer day to the zoo. Eventually, they happened upon the elephant pen, and what should the man see there, but an enormous -- and very old -- bull elephant. He thought back fondly to the time in the Africa when he helped another elephant.
Then the elephant looked up from the grass he was eating and spotted the man. The elephant's eyes grew wide, and he dropped his food and ambled over to the fence. The elephant seemed to study the man intently, and the man though to himself, "I wonder... Can it possibly be...?"
The elephant then did something remarkable. He picked up his forefoot, looked at it and then looked at the man expectantly. "Oh my God!" thought the man. "It's true!"
"Son," he said to his boy. "Wait here!" The man then leapt over the fence into the pen and ran to the elephant, his arms held wide.
The elephant trotted excitedly over to the man, picked his foot up again... and then kicked the man to the ground. Angrily, the elephant stomped the man into the ground with his massive foot. Over and over again, the elephant took its rage out on the man, until -- in front of his son's terrified eyes -- he was nothing but a bloody, dead pulp of meat and splintered bone.
Turns out it was a different elephant.
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bill413
Nov 6, 2010, 10:28 PM
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Registered: Oct 19, 2004
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Why did the elephant skate up the side of the empire state building?
(This post was edited by bill413 on Nov 6, 2010, 10:28 PM)
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spikeddem
Nov 7, 2010, 4:58 PM
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j_ung wrote: bill413 wrote: Why did the elephant skate up the side of the empire state building? Dunno. Why?
I have a feeling, but I hope I'm wrong.
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bill413
Nov 7, 2010, 7:15 PM
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spikeddem wrote: j_ung wrote: bill413 wrote: Why did the elephant skate up the side of the empire state building? Dunno. Why? I have a feeling, but I hope I'm wrong.
Because his wife had the Cadillac.
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iknowfear
Nov 8, 2010, 2:04 PM
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bill413 wrote: spikeddem wrote: j_ung wrote: bill413 wrote: Why did the elephant skate up the side of the empire state building? Dunno. Why? I have a feeling, but I hope I'm wrong. Because his wife had the Cadillac.
And I thought it was because the twin towers are no longer there...
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spikeddem
Nov 8, 2010, 3:12 PM
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bill413 wrote: spikeddem wrote: j_ung wrote: bill413 wrote: Why did the elephant skate up the side of the empire state building? Dunno. Why? I have a feeling, but I hope I'm wrong. Because his wife had the Cadillac.
For posterity...I will need to think about this one.
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bill413
Nov 8, 2010, 5:10 PM
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iknowfear wrote: bill413 wrote: spikeddem wrote: j_ung wrote: bill413 wrote: Why did the elephant skate up the side of the empire state building? Dunno. Why? I have a feeling, but I hope I'm wrong. Because his wife had the Cadillac. And I thought it was because the twin towers are no longer there...
I bet he would have chimneyed them if they were.
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spikeddem
Nov 8, 2010, 5:16 PM
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bill413 wrote: iknowfear wrote: bill413 wrote: spikeddem wrote: j_ung wrote: bill413 wrote: Why did the elephant skate up the side of the empire state building? Dunno. Why? I have a feeling, but I hope I'm wrong. Because his wife had the Cadillac. And I thought it was because the twin towers are no longer there... I bet he would have chimneyed them if they were.
Holy shit, thank you for that ridiculous image. I can totally picture that.
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