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alxg
Apr 24, 2007, 2:00 AM
Post #51 of 52
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Registered: Nov 28, 2006
Posts: 53
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i was my husband's (we weren't together then) beginning rock climbing instructor...he ran out of water on the 40 minute hike out, i offered him some of mine out of my camelback...he'd never used one before, i simply explained all you had to do was bite then suck...then asked him if he wanted to go climbing sometime...that was 6 years ago and we're still climbing together 
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e_free
Apr 24, 2007, 1:17 PM
Post #52 of 52
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Registered: Sep 12, 2004
Posts: 388
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As with the other girls, i've found that any time I make a direct advance, it has not gone well. Meanwhile, sitting there like a lump on a log also does not accomplish anything. I hit the middle for best effect.
Being (genuinely!) friendly, interested in who they are as a person, smiling a lot and laughing, makes it easy for you to ask if they'd like to have coffee or lunch or go for a hike or whatever - think new (attractive!) friend. This leaves it on "friend ground" if one is not comfortable with somthing more (which is fine). If he's interested, he has a wide-open door, and can be reassured that he'll probably NOT be rejected if he asks you on an "official" date directly. Likewise, you can probably discern something of his level of interest as well.
I personally like guys who have the guts and some drive... can't stand a guy without a backbone (but that's just me). Guys seem to desire the affirmation that comes with THEM doing the pursuing, and receiving approval (they have validated their masculinity I think). It also allows YOU a way to make and keep a new friend if it turns out that you misjudged someone on some level. This always worked out in my favor because I was aiming to find someone interesting to hang out with, regardles sof their label ("Boyfriend", "guy I'm seeing", "friend" etc). "Friends first" has been my motto.
If you aim to make a friend you are truly interested in as a person, then you won't worry about being rejected, and can have a good time just being yourself. If it turns into something more, then you've certainly started out on the right foot, genuinely valuing a person (and being valued) for who they are. No matter how it turns out, you'll have an authentic connection with someone you can respect and care about. I really enjoyed dating (without regret) because of this approach.
(This post was edited by e_free on Apr 24, 2007, 1:30 PM)
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