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cyanamid
Jan 1, 2005, 1:53 AM
Post #26 of 977
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Posts: 161
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In reply to: ...you may as well go see a Witch Doctor and get bled with leeches. I suspect that the pain in your arm is just some additional tendonoids or ligimentals or...bones...growing. It's very likely that you are transforming into some sort of quasi-human evil climbing monster,
:lol: :tinfoilhat: :lol:
I hate when I grow new ligamentals, the stretch marks are a real pain in the ass.
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akclimber
Jan 1, 2005, 12:33 PM
Post #27 of 977
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Registered: Mar 17, 2004
Posts: 609
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dear n00b,
i have a rope, harness, and a growing rack of 3 quickdraws
i see a chain type thing, but how do i get the rope up there?
thanks n00b
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justthemaid
Jan 2, 2005, 7:07 PM
Post #28 of 977
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Registered: Sep 11, 2004
Posts: 777
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Dear nOOb. Where are you? I think I'm in love. I went by your afforementioned boulder, but there was a bum sleeping in your spot. You make my internet life worth living. Please come back.
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powen
Jan 2, 2005, 7:37 PM
Post #29 of 977
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Registered: Nov 11, 2003
Posts: 201
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Dear N00B:
I am currently a 5.6 climber, and I have been climbing for three years. I have been doing lots of laps in the gym, I climb four days a week for two to three hours at a time. I have A LOT of quickdraws. I eat well, I don't smoke or drink either.
I only have one problem: I cannot seem to break into the next level. How long did it take you to reach the 5.7 level of climbing? Why can't I consistenly send this grade in my gym? I have done everything possible to improve, but this grade just seems so elusive!
Can anyone recommend specific training techniques, books, movies, taping configurations, underwear, ninja schools etc. etc. to help me redpoint a 5.7???
*Specifically, I need help on the red route. So any information about the red route would be appreciated. Thanks for any replies!
Sincerely,
Ledouche Bagwell
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irockclimbtoo
Jan 2, 2005, 8:30 PM
Post #30 of 977
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Posts: 309
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ab
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itakealot
Jan 2, 2005, 8:44 PM
Post #31 of 977
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Registered: Jul 8, 2003
Posts: 382
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Dear nOOb,
"Should I drink low carb beer?"
"How can I reach nirvana?"
"Will brand "A" give me cleaner teeth than brand "B"?
Your wisdom please.
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johnson6102002
Jan 2, 2005, 9:09 PM
Post #32 of 977
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Registered: Aug 23, 2004
Posts: 843
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dear noob,
what is this slacklining thing i keep hearing about? i have a home depot rope that i use for top roping 15 feet slabs in my back yard would that work for use as a slackline and how do u walk it can i use a big pole like them tight ropers in the circus ooo and i almost forgot how tight should it be and how do u get it tight?
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powen
Jan 2, 2005, 9:16 PM
Post #33 of 977
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Registered: Nov 11, 2003
Posts: 201
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In reply to: dear noob, what is this slacklining thing i keep hearing about? i have a home depot rope that i use for top roping 15 feet slabs in my back yard would that work for use as a slackline and how do u walk it can i use a big pole like them tight ropers in the circus ooo and i almost forgot how tight should it be and how do u get it tight?
You started a little shaky by using the question mark, but you finished strong with a nice consistent run-on sentence... Good reference to using a national chain's common household goods for equipment. I liked the intentional use of poor grammar and the use of "tight ropers" However...
Final decision:
Excessve use of punctuation for a newbie... 10 yards of penalty slack, repeat first down.
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johnson6102002
Jan 2, 2005, 9:40 PM
Post #34 of 977
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Registered: Aug 23, 2004
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In reply to: In reply to: dear noob, what is this slacklining thing i keep hearing about? i have a home depot rope that i use for top roping 15 feet slabs in my back yard would that work for use as a slackline and how do u walk it can i use a big pole like them tight ropers in the circus ooo and i almost forgot how tight should it be and how do u get it tight? You started a little shaky by using the question mark, but you finished strong with a nice consistent run-on sentence... Good reference to using a national chains common household goods for equipment. I liked the intentional use of poor grammar and the use of "tight ropers" However... Final decision: Excessve use of punctuation for a newbie... 10 yards of penalty slack, repeat first down.
ohh and if the noob gets a chance maybe he can answer the question someone once had about wearing footballpads when slacking is that a good idea so i dont get hurt?
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subtle
Jan 2, 2005, 9:55 PM
Post #35 of 977
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Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438
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In reply to: dear noob, what is this slacklining thing i keep hearing about? i have a home depot rope that i use for top roping 15 feet slabs in my back yard would that work for use as a slackline and how do u walk it can i use a big pole like them tight ropers in the circus ooo and i almost forgot how tight should it be and how do u get it tight?
Let's see, you have a number of questions here...and apparently you also have a 15 foot slab...in your...back yard? Ummmm.
Slackline Nation is a breakaway splinter cell of...sheesh, here's comes a missapplied term 'athletes'...that couldn't handle the stress and strain of the high-pressure bouldering lifestyle. They're like the Kazakstan or Uzbekistan of boulderers...only instead of rolling in the tanks, the boulderers just go back to sleep on their crashpads under the proj. Slackliners are principally concerned with setting up a piece of webbing between any two objects...trees, cars, fat people, shopping carts, whatever...then staring at it for an hour...then fiddling with it...then staring at it...then getting on and falling off instantly...then giving up and playing hackey sack.
There are no real rules. Use a big pole, a little pole, a couple of burning tiki torches...knock yourself out. In fact, that's pretty much the goal, to knock yourself out. If you fell off after executing a triple lindy and broke both your legs while setting yourself and one of your anchor shrubs on fire with a tiki torch...you'd be a Slacklining God.
All Hail johnson6102002!
Allez. (Twang! Aiiiiiie, my leg!) Homard.
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johnson6102002
Jan 2, 2005, 10:57 PM
Post #36 of 977
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Registered: Aug 23, 2004
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In reply to: If you fell off after executing a triple lindy and broke both your legs while setting yourself and one of your anchor shrubs on fire with a tiki torch...you'd be a Slacklining God. All Hail johnson6102002!
:shock: well i only broke one but it was in 4 places doin a single front flip off but no tiki torch so i geuss that just makes me unfortounate / stupid
and yes all hail me
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subtle
Jan 2, 2005, 11:36 PM
Post #37 of 977
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Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438
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In reply to: Dear N00b, While ice climbing.. do i have to use those sharp pointy thingies?
Have to? HAVE to? Man, that's the REASON to go ice climbing! Don't believe me? Let's examine some other possible motivations:
- I totally dig the 3 hour hike in.
- Nothing feels as good on my frostbite as a waterfall of frozen slush.
- The fourth or fifth giant chunk of ice glancing off your helmet really wakes you up and helps you focus.
- I almost died twice...on my warmup route...what a cakewalk!
- Being in the pristine wilderness really makes me feel in synch with nature...just like fighting wolves for my beef jerkey.
Hmmm, pretty unlikely, no?
Basically, if you aren't currently down in your basement with a file and a headlamp trying to somehow hone your tools past razor sharp while softly cooing "My precious...yessss...my preciooouusss"...you might not be ice climber material. Your only hope is to embrace your inner hedgehog and pincushion up, my brother. Just don't, y'know, poke yourself too much.
Allez. Homard.
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subtle
Jan 3, 2005, 2:10 AM
Post #38 of 977
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Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438
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In reply to: Can anyone recommend specific training techniques, books, movies, taping configurations, underwear, ninja schools etc. etc. to help me redpoint a 5.7???
As Master Yoda would say, "Answer your own question you do, young Jedi". The key to sending your 5.7 proj...and indeed all climbing sucess...lies in embracing your inner Ninja. Allow me to explain, grasshopper.
A close examination of Ninja films reveals most of the skills present in the major climbing disciplines. The ability to cling improbably to horizontal surfaces, then fall suddenly with a blood curdling and/or creepy scream...Bouldering, obviously. Mastery of exotic weapon-like hooks, chains, swingy-sticks and whatnot...aid climbing, right? A tendency to over-coordinate their outfits and a desire to hide their faces when spotted by normal people...Sport Climbers, naturally. There is only one discipline missing...
There is absolutely no Ninja in Trad climbing. None at all. Scientists have yet to explain this phenomenon, other than to speculate that perhaps Ninjas have some sort of natural hatred for Ham.
Anyway, I'd suggest you get yourself some split-toed climbing shoes and maybe some grappling hooks and assault that red route. You might want to pick up some of that blinding powder (tell people it's chalk), so if you grease off the start holds, you can disappear in a cloud of smoke and run out of the building.
Ninja-riffic!
Allez. Homard.
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discolegsyndrome
Jan 3, 2005, 2:36 AM
Post #39 of 977
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Registered: Mar 2, 2004
Posts: 250
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In reply to: Basically, if you aren't currently down in your basement with a file and a headlamp trying to somehow hone your tools past razor sharp while softly cooing "My precious...yessss...my preciooouusss"
Aye, oh great n00b. I heed to your expertestest advice.
I shall go in search of the rat tail and sharpen those bad boys now :twisted:
Many thousand pounds of beef for your wisom and guidence.
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jakedatc
Jan 3, 2005, 2:40 AM
Post #40 of 977
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Registered: Mar 12, 2003
Posts: 11054
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powen wrote:
In reply to: Can anyone recommend specific training techniques, books, movies, taping configurations, underwear, ninja schools etc. etc. to help me redpoint a 5.7???
Master nOOb your words are wise but i may have another idea for powen..
instead of attempting to redpoint 5.7.. you could perhaps admit defeat and embrace trad climbing, buy hundreds of dollars worth of gear to sew up every 5.6 across the globe and never be above a piece of pro.
Remember this will take a lot of gear but you are also not looking to push the grades.. this is not the Trad way.. you are rather searching for every climb that you will not fall off of and fiddle with the newest and shiniest of metal doohickys and thingerwhatsis.
in your favor is that you will save money for your gear by not needing fancy painful downturned shoes, sponsor covered clothing, super light quickdraws, cushy bouldering pads or even chalk. you should however invest in large amounts of tape (this is due to the SERENE principle, trad climbers back everything up.. including tendons.. if one of those babies go you want some tape keeping things from failing)
then comes the ham sandwiches... you may be wondering if this is due to the newest fad of low carb Fatkins dieting... absolutely!! if you are not going to make yourself famous by pushing high grades then you must have an EPIC! With epics come book deals, movies, speeches at small unknown college graduations, and perhaps a 3 sentence blurb in Rock and Ice which will be partially covered by one of Sharma's 5.10 ads.. sorry. Anyway, to properly epic you must have a chronic health problem that will put the odds of you escaping well out of your favor. High cholesterol and a need for a quadrouple bipass in a major way will suffice. Nothing quite like 5.6 trad, bad weather, high altitude and heart disease to create quite the epic to be shared with the world.
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subtle
Jan 3, 2005, 1:40 PM
Post #41 of 977
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Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438
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In reply to: My question is, how do you get a N00b to listen to good advice?
This is probably more of a Zen Koan, a poem or un-answerable riddle to be pondered while meditating to allow deeper contemplation of the infinite, than a question. I shall, therefore, respond in kind:
What is the sound of one Noob clapping?
...errrr...
If a Noob falls alone at the crag, does anyone hear it?
...hmmm...
How much spray would a spraylord spray if a spraylord could spray spray?
Ah, nirvana. I see it clearly now...
Allez. Homard.
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dlintz
Jan 3, 2005, 2:27 PM
Post #42 of 977
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Registered: Sep 9, 2002
Posts: 1982
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Dear nOOb,
i need some help with my new real outside rockclimbing gear that i bought with my christmas money (thanks aunt Edna you are AWESOME!! :D 8^) :D ). okay, i could only afford 6 slings (metolius, so AWESOME :D :D ) and 12 biners (metolius, so also AWESOME!! :D :!: :)
so here's my question, do i clip the rope to the padded side or to one of those little loop thingys. i think that maybe the rope should be clipped to the padded part of the sling to protect it better. am i right? thanks you are so AWESOME!!! :D 8^) :) :!:
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subtle
Jan 3, 2005, 3:59 PM
Post #43 of 977
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Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438
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In reply to: so here's my question, do i clip the rope to the padded side or to one of those little loop thingys.
Ok, after deciphering your malestrom of smileys and high-level technical terms...like 'thingy'...it seems like you face a pretty common conundrum for the beginning climber: Gear Allocation. Fortunately, there is a simple answer.
You're going to need one 'biner for your keys, one for your shoes, one to clip your chalk bag to your harness, two to make a hangdog sling for when you're 'working the proj', two on your harness as bail 'biners for when you just can't finish that 5.7+, one to clip your crashpad shut, and one each to clip your chalk bag, shoes and harness to your crashpad.
This leaves you with one 'biner and six slings. You will almost certainly lose the lone 'biner on the way to the crag, since it isn't clipped to something for safekeeping. The most logical thing to do is therefore tie your slings to the bolt with some sort of salty-dog type sailor knot, then kinda pass the rope through them on the way up. Hopefully, you had the foresight to get 4 foot long slings, so then you can just crawl through them. If you get tired, just sit in there for a while and...presto...you're an aid climber. I bet you didn't know you were that cool, eh?
Allez. Homard.
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dingus
Jan 3, 2005, 4:22 PM
Post #44 of 977
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Registered: Dec 16, 2002
Posts: 17398
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Noob I'm stuck at 10b. What is the fastest way to 5.13?
And please don't flame me. I am very insecure.
DMT
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subtle
Jan 3, 2005, 6:49 PM
Post #45 of 977
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Posts: 438
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In reply to: Noob I'm stuck at 10b. What is the fastest way to 5.13?
The fastest way is probably to change the '0b' in your post to a '3'. This also works in guidebooks, topos, resumes, college transcripts and occasionally...if you think to bring along the right color Sharpie magic marker...the starting tape on any given gym route. Just last week I made the 4th ascent of Chris Sharma's 5.15a testpiece Realization, which just happened to be in my local gym masquerading as a 5.8- top-roped jug haul.
My sponsors are going to be so happy, I tell you...
Allez (edit, edit) Homard.
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dirtineye
Jan 3, 2005, 7:15 PM
Post #46 of 977
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Registered: Mar 29, 2003
Posts: 5590
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In reply to: In reply to: My question is, how do you get a N00b to listen to good advice? This is probably more of a Zen Koan, a poem or un-answerable riddle to be pondered while meditating to allow deeper contemplation of the infinite, than a question. I shall, therefore, respond in kind: What is the sound of one Noob clapping? ...errrr... If a Noob falls alone at the crag, does anyone hear it? ...hmmm... How much spray would a spraylord spray if a spraylord could spray spray? Ah, nirvana. I see it clearly now... Allez. Homard.
Truly thou art wise beyond wisdom, oh great Ask the N00b. I am now enlightned, and shall go forth and seek the holy homard.
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subtle
Jan 4, 2005, 1:46 PM
Post #47 of 977
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Posts: 438
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In reply to: "Will brand "A" give me cleaner teeth than brand "B"?
Ummm...uhhhh...I'm a boulderer, ok...which is probably the last kind of person you should ever ask about oral hygene. I live under a van and brush my teeth with a stick. The irony of it is, though, I have at least 47 toothbrushes...some for crimpers...some for slopers...some for slightly overhanging welded tiff sloping crimpers...I suppose you could use them on your teeth...
Maybe if Prana starts making toothpaste.
Allez. Homard. Gingivitis.
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subtle
Jan 4, 2005, 8:24 PM
Post #48 of 977
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In reply to: i have a rope, harness, and a growing rack of 3 quickdraws i see a chain type thing, but how do i get the rope up there?
Your simple question masks a hellacious quagmire of indecision and self-doubt...but don't worry, we can sort that right out. Your main problem isn't how anyone could get the rope up there...it's how you get the rope up there. And, as is always the case, the answer lies in your gear.
Go immediately to the nearest purveyor of hideously overpriced climbing accesories, stand in the exact middle of the floor, and feel The Force within you. (If it helps to imagine the salesperson with questionable social skills as Obi Wan Kenobi, work it, brother) A piece of gear may or may not mystically fly off the rack and into your hand, as if summoned by destiny...or outrageous shoplifting skillz.
If it is a quickdraw, you are destined for sport climbing. Get thee to the spandex, hair mousse and 5.10 Dragons and get your send on.
If it is some sort of day-glo spiny stab-master axe-like thing, you were meant for ice climbing. Get some tetanus shots and about 600 hand warmers and recruit a Yeti to belay for you. Ice! Falling! Aiiieee!
If it is a tri-cam, tri-nut, or other assorted tri-widget, then truly you are a Trad climber. Prepare to jug-haul yourself to crag elitist satori...and I hope you like Ham sandwiches.
If it is a beanie, then you are a boulderer. Go buy 100lbs of chalk, break up with your girlfrend, and move to Bishop. Rad, bro! I'll see you at the Spectre boulder...
See? Easy!
Allez. Homard.
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rckymntneer
Jan 4, 2005, 9:50 PM
Post #49 of 977
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Registered: Nov 10, 2004
Posts: 67
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Dear Noob,
I read your earlier advise about aid climbing being easy, and you are right!!! I went out and bought a little of everything I could find and hauled it all with me and used it.
But what do I do about my whiny belayer? He top ropes me so I don't fall on my aid climbs and says I'm really heavy with all that cool gear on. His arms get really tired when he holds me up while I pound those peeton things in. Is he just jealous cuz he's not a cool climber? Or is he just a whiner since I dropped one of those big cam thingies on him?
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neutralcypruss
Jan 4, 2005, 10:39 PM
Post #50 of 977
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Registered: Feb 22, 2003
Posts: 74
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Hey noob i wuz kinda wondering you know @ the gym they got tape and well i wanted to go outside but all they had was white stuff every where and i couldnt foolow it it was so hard and the holds were all the same color maybe you have some advice....
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